update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/013.md

@@ -28,9 +28,15 @@ Ey lost a few centimeters in height.
 
 Ey gained a curve to the hips.
 
-Ey traded in her pronoun, and continued on in her contemplative walk with her down-tree instance.
+Ey traded in eir pronoun, and she continued on in her contemplative walk with her down-tree instance.
 
-Her skin grew smoother, softer, fairer; her cheeks grew fuller.
+A dozen steps before they reached the next cairn, they were joined on one side by a failing in the land, a meandering stream-bed --- dry now, more of a wash, perhaps --- that had not been there before the arrival of the Aretemisians, nor even, ey suspected, before ey'd made this decision. Neither stopped to stare, overshadowed as it was by pending goodbyes, but Codrin thought back to that letter from Ioan so many years back, of dandelions in eir yard, of May telling em about the subtlety of the System, of Dear saying that perhaps this sim that Serene had designed might react to the dreaming of its inhabitants.
+
+*How long until a ravine forms? A canyon?* ey thought. *How long until the rains carve away the land? How long until willows take root and huddle around the wash until the water no longer dries up, but becomes a creek? A river?*
+
+There were so many changes bound up inside em --- inside them both --- and now, whatever subtlety the system bore had caught on and began to reflect some part of em. Something new. Something big.
+
+Her skin grew smoother, softer, fairer as they walked; her cheeks grew fuller.
 
 She adopted the Romanian skirt, fotă, and blouse ey'd worn to the talks as her own.
 
@@ -44,11 +50,11 @@ By the time they made it to the next cairn and stopped once more, Codrin had mad
 
 "Sorina."
 
-Ey smiled, waving a hand toward the sun. "Fitting."
+Ey smiled, nodding toward the sliver of sun peeking above the horizon. "Fitting."
 
 "Well, not just the dawn," she said. "But I'll be leaving our sun behind in more ways than one. I'll be leaving *this* sun behind."
 
-Codrin sighed, nodded to her. "That you will."
+Codrin sighed. "That you will."
 
 They shared in the silence, though they had to look away from the sun before long, instead scanning the far-running prairie. Codrin did eir best to drop thoughts of leaving Castor behind. Better, ey thought to focus on the fact that ey was staying, to rush individuation as much as ey could so that the weight of eir decision wouldn't rest on the both of them nearly so heavily. That had been the point of all of the changes, hadn't it? That had been the reason why ey hadn't chosen the name first, *anem?*
 
@@ -82,7 +88,9 @@ Ey sighed, nodded. "I suppose I do. Why don't you head out? I'll decide on the w
 
 Shaking eir head firmly, ey wiped eir eyes against eir tunic sleeve. "If you stick around, I'm going to keep thinking about it and not let you go. Individuation will happen as it will, but I'd prefer sooner than later for your sake, if nothing else."
 
-Sorina surprised em by hugging em tightly. Ey got eir own arms around her and marveled at the fact that it was already a surprise. Perhaps she'd already changed more than ey'd thought. Or perhaps ey had.
+Sorina surprised em by hugging em tightly. Ey got eir own arms around her and marveled at the fact that it was already a surprise. Perhaps she'd already changed more than ey'd thought. Or perhaps ey had. She felt like a new person, completely unlike emself, or even Ioan from whom they'd both derived.
+
+*Go,* ey thought to emself. *Go and be someone new. Don't let your grief define you, at least not forever.*
 
 They stood in the prairie, holding each other as they cried their goodbyes.
 
@@ -94,27 +102,27 @@ Ey laughed and let go of her. "Will do."
 
 "Naturally."
 
-She bent down, plucked a stone from atop the cairn and said, "For luck."
+She bent down, plucked a stone from atop the cairn, one of the ones that marked directions explored and said, "For luck."
 
 Then she stepped out of the sim. Stepped away from Codrin and home. Eir home, but no longer hers.
 
-There was another, slightly more anxious ping against eir sensorium, to which ey responded with one of acknowledgement and began to trudge back to the house, trying to tamp down that sense of loss.
+There was another, slightly more anxious ping against eir sensorium, to which ey responded with one of acknowledgement and began to trudge back to the house, trying to tamp down that sense of loss. Ey let eir eyes follow that new wash, tried to replace more complex feelings with wonder.
 
-*"Goodness, my dear, are you alright?"* Dear said, frowning at the sight of eir tear-slick face.
+*"Goodness, my love, are you alright?"* Dear said, frowning at the sight of eir tear-slick face.
 
-"Yeah, I'm sorry, fox." Ey pulled it in for a hug, passing the kiss to the cheek on as ey'd promised.
+"Yeah, I'm sorry, fox." Ey pulled it in for a hug, passing on the kiss to the cheek as ey'd promised.
 
 *"Who was that you were talking with out there?"*
 
 Ey laughed and shook eir head. "And here I thought I was being sneaky. That was the fork heading to Artemis."
 
-*"Ey did not want to come in?"* the fox asked, sounding small.
+*"Ey did not want to come in?"* the fox asked, taken aback.
 
 "She," ey said. "She didn't think she could and still leave."
 
-*"I understand."*
+There was a moment of quiet as Dear digested this. It finally nodded. *"I understand."*
 
-Ey gave Dear a kiss of eir own and leaned back from the hug, waving another mug into existence so that ey could get a cup of coffee. "If I talk about this any more, I'm going to cry all over again. I'll tell you more about her later."
+Ey gave Dear a kiss of eir own and leaned back from the hug, waving another mug into existence so that ey could get a cup of coffee. "If I talk about this any more, I'm going to cry all over again. I'll tell you more about her later, alright?"
 
 It sniffled, nodded. *"Alright, my love. I would like that. Can you at least tell me her name before we move on, though?"*
 
@@ -124,7 +132,7 @@ Dear laid its ears flat and lowered its gaze, growling. *"Mx. Codrin Bălan, you
 
 "What?"
 
-*"You cannot say things like that to a hopeless romantic. You will destroy them. They will collapse into a swoon. They will drown in their tears. It is frankly irresponsible. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to take a shower and cry my fucking eyes out for a bit."*
+*"You cannot say things like that to a hopeless romantic. You will destroy them. They will collapse into a swoon. They will drown in their own tears. It is frankly irresponsible. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to take a shower and cry my fucking eyes out for a bit."*
 
 Ey rolled eir eyes, leaning over to tug at the fox's tail before heading to the kitchen. "Welcome to the club. Go get your shower, though, and cry all you need, but no drowning, please."