update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md

@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@ This wasn't to say that ey didn't have a chance to sit with them at times and di
 
 "Feelings are complex, Ioan," True Name explained as they sat around a low fire before her tent. "If they are created by memories, then there is little that I can do to completely control how I might feel about something beyond picking and choosing the memories carefully. However, one can never be sure which memories may lead to which feelings. If they come from something more intrinsic to one's personality and thought patterns, then it is even more difficult to attempt to control them."
 
-Ey nodded. "That much I can certainly understand. I trust the idea that you'll be built up from your various histories rather than simply May's feelings tacked onto you."
+Ey nodded. "That much I can certainly understand. I trust that you'll be built up from your various histories rather than simply May's feelings tacked onto you."
 
 "Yes. I cannot predict how I will feel about anything after this, much less you. Your relationship and existing boundaries will take precedence over whatever happens, though. I will respect that."
 
@@ -67,9 +67,9 @@ May sighed.
 
 "I am of two minds, Ioan. I do not know if I will feel... I do not know. I am not comfortable speaking further on this just yet."
 
-They spent the rest of the night in quiet, May leaning against eir side while TN and End Waking spoke quietly about the plain and the forest.
+They spent the rest of the night in quiet, May leaning against eir side while True Name and End Waking spoke quietly about the plain and the forest.
 
-Finally, though, a week to the day after the topic had first come up, Ioan awoke to find May and True Name already sitting at the table, speaking earnestly in a cone of silence. Once they noticed em, True Name waved it away and May grinned, saying, "Sorry, my dear. We did not want to wake you."
+Finally, though, a week to the day after the decision had been made, Ioan awoke to find May and True Name already sitting at the table, speaking earnestly in a cone of silence. Once they noticed em, True Name waved it away and May grinned, saying, "Sorry, my dear. We did not want to wake you."
 
 Ey poured emself a cup of coffee before joining them. "Appreciate it. Hope I'm not interrupting."
 
@@ -113,15 +113,15 @@ After another Scandinavian-style breakfast, the three of them re-organized True
 
 They also supplied her with ready water, coffee, and a few comforting snacks on one of the bedside tables so that she wouldn't have to get up just to go to the kitchen.
 
-Another beanbag was added by the bed, in case True Name requested that they stay in there for any length of time, and a more comfortable bench-swing was added to the balcony in case she needed to go outside but wasn't feeling up to walking down to the prairie itself.
+Another beanbag was added by the bed, in case she requested that they stay in there for any length of time, and a more comfortable bench-swing was added to the balcony in case she needed to go outside but wasn't feeling up to walking down to the prairie itself.
 
-It felt like rather a lot of preparations to make just for a merge, but then May had last merged down 83 years before ey had even uploaded --- nearly 64 before ey'd even been born --- and after seeing how intense End Waking's merge had been, none of them felt up to cutting any corners and having to rush comfort after the fact.
+It felt like rather a lot of preparations to make just for a merge, but then May had last merged down 83 years before ey had uploaded --- nearly 64 before ey'd even been born --- and after seeing how intense End Waking's merge had been, none of them felt up to cutting any corners and having to rush comfort after the fact.
 
 Finally, though, there was nothing left to do, no further preparations to be made that weren't just stalling, so May took eir hand to hold em still so that ey'd quit pacing.
 
 "I don't even know why I'm fretting so much, I'm not even the one merging."
 
-True Name smiled faintly and shrugged. "I am fretting too, my dear, do not worry."
+True Name smiled faintly and shrugged. "I am fretting too, do not worry."
 
 "It is a big event," May added. "It will be an even bigger merge and, while it may be more comfortable than End Waking merging down as she has said, it will be no less complex."
 
@@ -131,7 +131,7 @@ Ey sighed and nodded, squeezing her paw before tugging eir hand free. "Right. I'
 
 "Stay?"
 
-"Yes. Please stay. I do not think it will be dramatic, but, well..." She frowned as though hunting for words. "You are a grounding person. Is that not what my counterpart on Castor said about Codrin? I appreciate your presence."
+"Yes. Please stay. I do not think it will be dramatic, but, well..." She hesitated and frowned. "You are a grounding person. Is that not what my counterpart on Castor said about Codrin? I appreciate your presence."
 
 Ey considered any number of responses ey could give before just nodding. If nothing else, ey didn't want to hold either of the skunks up from what would most certainly affect both of them more than it would em.
 
@@ -151,11 +151,11 @@ The three of them stayed like that for nearly five minutes --- two skunks kneeli
 
 "Oh...oh, I cannot..." she whispered, and started to sag over to one side.
 
-The other skunk shushed her quietly and helped her to lay out on her side before settling down with her. They curled together, still facing each other, nearly snout to snout and still holding paws.
+Maybe shushed her quietly and helped her to lay out on her side before settling down with her. They curled together, still facing each other, nearly snout to snout and still holding paws.
 
-Ey stood and watched. Then ey sat on the beanbag and watched. Watched and waited, though ey knew not what for.
+Ey stood and watched. Then ey sat on the beanbag and watched. Watched and waited, though for what ey didn't know.
 
-It was more than an hour later before May forked beside em, took eir hand, and led em from the room. Neither of the skunks on the bed had moved or made a sound other than May asking True Name if she was okay in a quiet murmur at one point and the other skunk shaking her head.
+It was more than an hour before May forked beside em, took eir hand, and led em from the room. Neither of the skunks on the bed had moved or made a sound other than May asking True Name if she was okay in a quiet murmur at one point and the other skunk shaking her head.
 
 Once the door was shut behind them, May let out a shaky sigh and padded over to the kitchen. "That was very hard."
 
@@ -171,7 +171,7 @@ She sat down and let Ioan rub her back. Only once she could manage a sip or two
 
 Ey was still teasing apart the day --- or perhaps the last month --- but all the same, ey did eir best to respond to what ey suspected lay beneath the surface of the question. "Do you think she resents you for not just letting her be True Name?"
 
-May whined and set the water glass aside, shifting on the beanbag until she could rest her head on eir thigh. "I worry that the real reason she wanted to do this was because there is no going back to who she was. One of those "fuck it, why  not" situations."
+May whined and set the water glass aside, shifting on the beanbag until she could rest her head on eir thigh. "I worry that the real reason she wanted to do this was because there is no going back to who she was. One of those "fuck it, burn it all down" situations."
 
 "There could be some of that, but is that so bad?"