update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/002.md

@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ Their partner showed up, a cup of coffee in one hand and a (far too large) therm
 
 "No, no," ey said, accepting the thermos with a frown. "Or, well, kind of. I didn't forget that May Then My Name wasn't here, just the ramifications of that, that True Name might not have her as a tool."
 
-*"That is more understandable, yes,"* the fox said. *"Perhaps the True Name here on Castor has diverged from that Legrange in that respect, perhaps not. I suspect that both are disappointed, in their own ways."*
+*"That is more understandable, yes,"* the fox said. *"Perhaps the True Name here on Castor has diverged from the one on Legrange in that respect, perhaps not. I suspect that both are disappointed, in their own ways."*
 
 Standing, Codrin fiddled with the thermos, ensuring that the lid was a mug when removed --- two nested ones, actually --- then nodded. "I don't know how many dimensions she's thinking on, but I also wouldn't be surprised if she'd had a cost-benefit analysis on losing her to Ioan."
 
@@ -96,13 +96,13 @@ He nodded. "It all just sounded so normal. There didn't seem like anything else
 
 "Can you tell me more about both?"
 
-"Well, she said that she a good deal about the communications and that she'd like me to come help her with the mechanics of that. She'd help me out with resources and I'd teach her what I learn about Artemis as I learned it."
+"Well, she said that she a knew good deal about the communications and that she'd like me to come help her with the mechanics of that. She'd help me out with resources and I'd teach her what I learn about Artemis as I learned it."
 
 "Artemis? Is that what they're calling the remote...ship? Vehicle?"
 
-He nodded. "Vehicle, I think. She said they're calling it Artemis, that I should tag my fork #Artemis, and that those on the ship were either Artemisians or Sea People, which I didn't get."
+He nodded. "Vehicle. She said they're calling it Artemis, that I should tag my fork #Artemis, and that those on the ship were either Artemisians or Sea People, which I didn't get."
 
-Codrin leaned back in the seat, thinking. "Sea People might be a reference to something from the *Mythology,* or it could be a reference to a theory about a marauding group of seafarers during the Bronze Age collapse. There was a bunch of talk about how some unknown seafaring group had sacked much of the ancient near east and northern Africa, leading to the prolongation of the collapse."
+Codrin leaned back in the seat, thinking. "Sea People might be a reference to something from the *Mythology,* or it could be a reference to a theory about a marauding group of seafarers during the Bronze Age collapse. One that had sacked much of the ancient near east and northern Africa, leading to the prolongation of the collapse."
 
 Tycho's eyes grew wide. "Do you think that's what she's getting at with the reference? That these are going to be some marauders coming to mess with the LV?"
 
@@ -116,9 +116,9 @@ On eir part, ey began structuring the project. There would have to be the journa
 
 "Tycho," ey said, startling him out of a reverie. "Do you know what an amanuensis is?"
 
-"Like a recorder? Someone who takes notes?"
+"Like a recorder? A stenographer? Someone who takes notes?"
 
-"Well, in part, but also someone who thinks about what they're writing," ey said, tapping at eir temple. "They aren't a scribe or a court recorder, but someone there to witness and digest a conversation."
+"Well, in part, but also someone who thinks about what they're recording," ey said, tapping at eir temple. "They aren't a scribe or a court recorder, but someone there to witness and digest a conversation."
 
 "Like a clerk?" He grinned. "We used to have one of those for our club, who would take minutes of the meetings and such."
 
@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ Ey nodded. "Certainly closer to that than a recorder, yeah. I bring this up beca
 
 "What do you mean, it'll be my job too?" he asked.
 
-"Just that you will also be witnessing and thinking about this project, and then coming up with ideas related to it to be compiled into a coherent understanding. That's why we'll be working together, I think. I'm trained to do this work in particular, but I'll need your help in making sense of it. I'll experience it with you as much as I'm allowed, but you'll have to ensure that I actually understand what's going on."
+"Just that you will also be witnessing and thinking about this project, and then coming up with ideas related to it to be compiled into a coherent understanding. That's why we'll be working together, I think. I'm trained to do this work in particular, but I'll need your help in making sense of the science part of it. I'll experience it with you as much as I'm allowed, but you'll have to ensure that I actually understand what's going on."
 
 Tycho laughed. "Well, I'll do my best, but it's not like I have much experience working with Artemisians, either. I'll help with the technical aspects as best I can, though."
 
@@ -134,13 +134,13 @@ Tycho laughed. "Well, I'll do my best, but it's not like I have much experience
 
 He nodded.
 
-"On that note, lets come up with a basic idea of what's next for us. We mostly talked about immediate next steps, but it might be a good idea to start thinking on a larger timescale."
+"On that note, lets come up with a basic idea of what's next for us. We mostly talked about immediate next steps earlier, but it might be a good idea to start thinking on a larger timescale."
 
 "I guess. I'm assuming it'll be pretty loose, given that we can't guess the particulars?" He waited for Codrin to nod, then continued. "Then we have a month or so before they reach their closest approach as long as we both stay on our own heading."
 
 "Does that mean a month before they upload?"
 
-He shrugged. "Not necessarily. They can upload whenever they want, so long as our Ansible is on and the DMZ is ready. I don't think it's on yet, though."
+He shrugged. "Not necessarily. They can upload whenever they want, so long as our Ansible is on and the DMZ is ready. I don't think it's on yet, though. There's probably an effective range beyond which the Ansible won't work well."
 
 "Alright. Have we received any further communications from them? Their message said that they had a similar mechanism in place. Is that something we'll be able to use? Or want to use, even?"
 
@@ -160,7 +160,7 @@ Ey finished eir coffee and replaced the cup on the cap of the thermos. "One of u
 
 "Yes. If it's possible, I mean. I figure it would just be an instance rather than completely investing. I'd also be curious to hear your opinions on that as well."
 
-Tycho tilted his head back until it hit the wall of the hut, staring up toward the ceiling. He sat like that for a good five minutes, during which Codrin remained silent, before leaning forward to pour emself another cup of coffee. "Yes. I don't know that I'd invest completely, but yes, I think I would. Would you?"
+Tycho tilted his head back until it hit the wall of the hut, staring up toward the ceiling. He sat like that for a good five minutes, during which Codrin remained silent, before leaning forward to pour emself another cup of coffee. "Yes. I don't know about investing completely, but yes, I think I would. Would you?"
 
 Ey smiled, though ey felt just how tired ey was as ey did so. "Perhaps. I have attachments here, though. So the Codrin who uploaded --- if ey remains a Codrin --- would be severed completely from those ey loves. As romantic as the idea of sailing away on some alien spacecraft might be, it'd be painful to leave, even knowing that a Codrin remained."
 

writing/post-self/neviim/local/tycho/003.md

@@ -224,7 +224,7 @@ True Name laughed. "It is, yes."
 
 He felt heat rise to his cheeks, but nodded all the same. "The rest, I don't know. They all sound different, I guess. The fourthrace one is the only other one with two names."
 
-"We cannot make any real guesses, ourselves," True Name said. "We have been told that a stolon is a botany term, but that is likely only a coincidence."
+"We cannot make any real guesses, ourselves," True Name said. "We have been told that a stolon is a botanical term, but that is likely only a coincidence."
 
 "Well, only other thing I can think of is that they ask for confirmation on all actions taken. What are you going to say to those?"
 
@@ -232,7 +232,7 @@ True Name's eyes grew distant as, he imagined, she accessed an exo with the resp
 
 "Anything for the "We welcome you" or the list of names?"
 
-"We will repeat the "We welcome you" message, and it will be signed with your name."
+"We will repeat the "We welcome you" message, and it will be signed with your name," Answers Will Not Help said.
 
 He stood up so quickly it made him dizzy. "What?"
 
@@ -240,7 +240,7 @@ The other three laughed, True Name eventually continuing, "It will be signed "Tr
 
 He remained standing, swaying slightly and trying to blink away dancing black spots. "I think...I think I need to lay down."
 
-The skunk nodded, stood, and took him by the elbow. "You likely do. You have been awake for almost fifty-five hours. We have a room prepared for you."
+The skunk nodded, stood, and took him by the elbow. "You likely do. You have been awake for almost forty-five hours. We have a room prepared for you."
 
 Jonas stood as well, dusting off his slacks, and shook Tycho's hand. "Welcome aboard. And hey, congrats on first contact."