update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/013.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
     Convergence T+10 days, 15 hours, 42 minutes
 
-The decision to send a fork along to Artemis had gone over better than ey had expected. Eir partners had initially bridled at the idea of em --- or at least an instance of em --- moving on without them, but when ey explained that that fork would miss them dreadfully and also be allowed to quit at any time in case ey began to miss eir family too much, they relaxed.
+The decision to send a fork along to Artemis had gone over better than ey had expected. Eir partners had initially bridled at the idea of em --- or at least an instance of em --- moving on without them, but when ey explained that that fork would miss them dreadfully and could also to quit at any time in case ey began to miss eir family too much, they relaxed.
 
 *"While I do not wish to see you test whether or not you will be able to get over missing us,"* Dear had said. *"I recognize the impulse to explore and advance ones own knowledge."*
 
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ At that, Dear had clapped its paws. *"Yes! Yes, I can see that. Were that to be
 
 Ey had laughed and shrugged. "I don't know yet, but I think you may be right that this is an inflection point similar to the one from forty years back."
 
-And so here ey was, up early one morning before both of eir partners --- Dear had grumbled sleepily at em when ey slipped away --- standing beside a cairn with a mug of coffee, thinking about names and a future alone.
+And so here ey was, up early one morning before both of eir partners --- Dear had grumbled sleepily at em when ey slipped away --- standing beside a cairn with a mug of coffee, thinking about changes and a future alone.
 
 *I can quit when I want, if I need,* ey thought. *If it gets to be too much, I need answer to no one and can quit when I want. That will be proof enough of my love.*
 
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ Ey gained a curve to the hips.
 
 Ey traded in eir pronoun, and she continued on in her contemplative walk with her down-tree instance.
 
-A dozen steps before they reached the next cairn, they were joined on one side by a failing in the land, a meandering stream-bed --- dry now, more of a wash, perhaps --- that had not been there before the arrival of the Aretemisians, nor even, ey suspected, before ey'd made this decision. Neither stopped to stare, overshadowed as it was by pending goodbyes, but Codrin thought back to that letter from Ioan so many years back, of dandelions in eir yard, of May telling em about the subtlety of the System, of Dear saying that perhaps this sim that Serene had designed might react to the dreaming of its inhabitants.
+A dozen steps before they reached the next cairn, they were joined on one side by a failing in the land, a meandering stream-bed --- dry now, more of a wash, perhaps --- that had not been there before the arrival of the Artemisians, nor even, ey suspected, before ey'd made this decision. Neither stopped to stare, overshadowed as it was by pending goodbyes, but Codrin thought back to that letter from Ioan so many years back, of dandelions in eir yard, of May telling em about the subtlety of the System, of Dear saying that perhaps this sim that Serene had designed might react to the dreaming of its inhabitants.
 
 *How long until a ravine forms? A canyon?* ey thought. *How long until the rains carve away the land? How long until willows take root and huddle around the wash until the water no longer dries up, but becomes a creek? A river?*
 
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ And with that last footfall, she chose a name.
 
 All throughout, Codrin walked and thought. Ey thought about what lay in the future. Ey thought about the agency ey still held. Ey thought about the words ey'd heard about being anchoring, about being grounding. Ey thought about that crossing point ey'd visited with Sarah, about the plaza that lay beyond. Ey thought about foxes and love and home and eir own anchors.
 
-By the time they made it to the next cairn and stopped once more, Codrin had made eir own decision, eir own changes, though none showed on eir form.  Both of them stood, watching as the sun slowly crept up from dawn and into morning.
+By the time they made it to the next cairn and stopped once more, Codrin had made eir own decision, eir own changes, though none showed on eir form.  Both of them stood, watching as the sun slowly crept up from below the horizon.
 
 "Have you decided on a name?" ey asked.
 
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ Codrin sighed. "That you will."
 
 They shared in the silence, though they had to look away from the sun before long, instead scanning the far-running prairie. Codrin did eir best to drop thoughts of leaving Castor behind. Better, ey thought to focus on the fact that ey was staying, to rush individuation as much as ey could so that the weight of eir decision wouldn't rest on the both of them nearly so heavily. That had been the point of all of the changes, hadn't it? That had been the reason why ey hadn't chosen the name first, *anem?*
 
-"Will you miss home?"
+"Will you miss this place?"
 
 "Yeah," she said, voice quiet and small. "I don't know how their ACL patterns around sim construction work. I won't port the whole sim --- not the house, that'd hurt too much --- but I may bring along a snatch of prairie. Enough to build a few cairns."
 
@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ They shared in the silence, though they had to look away from the sun before lon
 
 She shook her head, and ey could tell that she was on the verge of tears. They both were. Ey took her hand in eirs and gave it a comforting squeeze, though for her comfort or eirs, ey didn't know.
 
-There was an inquisitive ping against eir sensorium and ey looked back at the house. "Dear's awake."
+There was a sleepy ping against eir sensorium and ey looked back at the house. "Dear's awake."
 
 Sorina kept looking out into the prairie, out away from the house.
 
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ Ey nodded. "I think they'll understand."
 
 "Yeah, I do, too." She finally turned to face em, smiling through her tears. "Do you think you'll even tell them you did this?"
 
-Codrin laughed, shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know that I have that much sneakiness within me."
+"I don't know." Ey laughed and squeezed eir hand, tighter this time. "I don't know that I have that much sneakiness within me."
 
 "I bet you could manage. You already have one secret to keep."
 
@@ -88,9 +88,9 @@ Ey sighed, nodded. "I suppose I do. Why don't you head out? I'll decide on the w
 
 Shaking eir head firmly, ey wiped eir eyes against eir tunic sleeve. "If you stick around, I'm going to keep thinking about it and not let you go. Individuation will happen as it will, but I'd prefer sooner than later for your sake, if nothing else."
 
-Sorina surprised em by hugging em tightly. Ey got eir own arms around her and marveled at the fact that it was already a surprise. Perhaps she'd already changed more than ey'd thought. Or perhaps ey had. She felt like a new person, completely unlike emself, or even Ioan from whom they'd both derived.
+Sorina surprised em by hugging em tightly. Ey got eir own arms around her in turn, marveling at the fact that it was already a surprise. Perhaps she'd already changed more than ey'd thought. Or perhaps ey had. She felt like a new person, completely unlike emself, or even Ioan from whom they'd both derived.
 
-*Go,* ey thought to emself. *Go and be someone new. Don't let your grief define you, at least not forever.*
+*Go,* ey thought to emself. *Go and be someone new. Go and be whole. Don't let your grief define you, at least not forever.*
 
 They stood in the prairie, holding each other as they cried their goodbyes.
 
@@ -128,7 +128,7 @@ It sniffled, nodded. *"Alright, my love. I would like that. Can you at least tel
 
 "Sorina. It has to do with the sun. She said she was leaving ours beyond," ey said, nodding out at the morning.
 
-Dear laid its ears flat and lowered its gaze, growling. *"Mx. Codrin Bălan, you are the worst."*
+Dear laid its ears flat and stepped back a half pace, growling. *"Mx. Codrin Bălan, you are the worst."*
 
 "What?"
 
@@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ Dear laid its ears flat and lowered its gaze, growling. *"Mx. Codrin Bălan, you
 
 Ey rolled eir eyes, leaning over to tug at the fox's tail before heading to the kitchen. "Welcome to the club. Go get your shower, though, and cry all you need, but no drowning, please."
 
-It nodded and stumbled off to the bathroom, setting up a cone of silence as it went.
+It grumbled and stumbled off to the bathroom, setting up a cone of silence as it went.
 
 "What was that about?" eir partner said from the bedroom door, looking somewhere between groggy and worried.
 
@@ -156,11 +156,11 @@ Both eir partners sat up straighter, suddenly more excited than before.
 
 Ey grinned to them. "Lets move to Convergence."
 
-Dear blinked. *"Codrin, you are such a fucking nerd."* It laughed and jumped up from the couch to hug em.
+Dear blinked and laughed. *"Codrin, you are such a fucking nerd."*
 
 "You mean the whole sim?"
 
-"Of course. All that work on those cairns? Of course it's coming with." Ey shrugged as best ey could in the midst of a hug. "I want to show them the prairie. I want to show them what our home looks like. I want to see Stolon sun themself out in the grass. I want you both to meet Turun Ko."
+"Of course. All that work on those cairns? Of course it's coming with. I want to show them the prairie." Dear leapt up to wrap its skinny arms around eir middle and ey shrugged as best ey could in the midst of a hug. "I want to show them what our home looks like. I want to see Stolon sun themself out in the grass. I want you both to meet Turun Ko."
 
 Eir partner laughed. "Well, hey, I'm game."
 
@@ -192,7 +192,7 @@ Ey laughed and poked at the fox's side, hunting once more for ticklish spots. "W
 
 Ey grinned, caught the original Dear in the middle of a spin, and hauled the fox onto the couch with em.
 
-*"Do you have any other surprises up your sleeves? If you do, I shall simply have to growl and froth like a rabid fox."*
+*"Do you have any other surprises up your sleeves? If you do, I shall simply have to growl and froth like a rabid beast."*
 
 "No, I promise that's it for now."