update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/marsh/004.md

@@ -346,7 +346,7 @@ She simply nodded.
 
 "And you said there hasn't been any word from phys-side except through Günay?" I asked.
 
-She shook her head. "Not really, but that is not to say that a sense of that sentiment is not evident. She sounded excited."
+She shook her head. "Not really. Not that I know about, at least, but that is not to say that a sense of that sentiment is not evident. Günay sounded excited."
 
 Sedge snorted. "Excited?"
 
@@ -356,7 +356,7 @@ Sedge snorted. "Excited?"
 
 Dry Grass nodded. "Yes, that was my guess. She is disappointed, of course, that so many of us are missing, but she is excited that so many of us still remain. As I have said, her words have been careful and measured, but I can still tell that she was excited to be able to talk to us."
 
-"So sims are empty," I said, ticking off items on my fingers. "The feeds are nuts. Phys-side is excited to see us. Has there been any indication on any of those fronts as to what actually happened?"
+"So, sims are empty," I said, ticking off items on my fingers. "The feeds are nuts. Phys-side is excited to see us. Has there been any indication on any of those fronts as to what actually happened?"
 
 "Not as yet, no. We are missing key bits of information."
 
@@ -394,7 +394,7 @@ Dry Grass nodded and once more took Tule's hand in her own. Once we had all link
 
 While this new sim felt far brighter than the sunnier portions of the last, the air was also far cooler and far drier. It still had a feeling of morning to it, as though the day itself had yet to wake up completely. A check of the time showed that it was not yet 7, a fact obscured by the noonday sun of the previous sim.
 
-The sun shone low in a cloudless blue sky, lighting a rolling field of grass with the dawn. 'Lawn' may have been a more apt word, as the grass itself seemed to have been cut at some point: it was cool and prickly, all of uniform height and color. All, that is, except for the fact that it was dotted liberally with golden yellow flowers, each perfectly round as it stood shyly above a spray of wide-toothed leaves.
+The sun here shone low in a cloudless blue sky, lighting a rolling field of grass with the dawn. 'Lawn' may have been a more apt word, as the grass itself seemed to have been cut at some point: it was cool and prickly, all of uniform height and color. All, that is, except for the fact that it was dotted liberally with golden yellow flowers, each perfectly round as it stood shyly above a spray of wide-toothed leaves.
 
 The air was thick with a sweet scent, and the sound of bees making their way from flower to flower hung just below the level of perception unless we all stayed completely silent.
 
@@ -408,7 +408,7 @@ Hold My Name also appeared hand-in-paw with a skunk, Which Offers Heat And Warmt
 
 I nodded and started to reply before cutting myself off as a few more Odists showed up in quick succession. Another skunk, looking far more prim and proper than the others, arrived and shot Dry Grass a quick glance. I couldn't quite read her expression, but she certainly didn't look happy. If she was Then I Must In All Ways Be Earnest, it perhaps made sense, as the next Odist to arrive was a human introduced as The Only Time I Dream Is When I Need An Answer.
 
-From what I gathered both from my knowledge of the history of the System that I'd picked up over my hears on Lagrange as well as the memories of Tule's relationship with Dry Grass, there had been a schism within the Ode clade some fifty years back surrounding the political elements of the clade — of which Need An Answer was one — and those who disagreed. This included both Dry Grass and In All Ways. Beyond those such as Lily who held resentment, even some Odists mistrusted — or even hated — some of the Odists.
+From what I gathered both from my knowledge of the history of the System that I'd picked up over my years on Lagrange as well as the memories of Tule's relationship with Dry Grass, there had been a schism within the Ode clade some fifty years back surrounding the political elements of the clade — of which Need An Answer was one — and those who disagreed. This included both Dry Grass and In All Ways. Beyond those such as Lily who held resentment, even some Odists mistrusted — or even hated — some of their own.
 
 I just hoped they'd be able to set that aside for now.
 
@@ -422,7 +422,7 @@ Scattered mumbling.
 
 More muttering — darkly, this time.
 
-"There have been more than two hundred thousand instances of downtime throughout the history of Lagrange. Most amount to a few seconds or minutes, with the longest being approximately two weeks, which took place during the Lagrange station's insertion into the L<sub>5</sub> orbit in which it currently resides. We usually do not notice any downtime unless we are specifically paying attention to systime. However, in this instance, when the System returned to functionality, several instances were missing–"
+"There have been more than two hundred thousand instances of downtime throughout the history of Lagrange. Most amount to a few seconds or minutes, with the longest being approximately three weeks, which took place during the Lagrange station's insertion into the L<sub>5</sub> orbit in which it currently resides. We usually do not notice any downtime unless we are specifically paying attention to systime. However, in this instance, when the System returned to functionality, several instances were missing–"
 
 "Several!" one of the Odists said, snorting.
 
@@ -430,7 +430,7 @@ More muttering — darkly, this time.
 
 "I have re-acquired my systech credentials through an expedited process, which has led to me talking to a phys-side tech on the Lagrange station named Günay Sadık. While she appears to be somewhat restrained in what she is willing — or able — to tell me, she was at least able to confirm or deny guesses as I made them. She has confirmed that the missing instances are due to corrupted data, that Lagrange experienced full downtime, and that phys-side engineers were finally able to get it running at full capacity just last night."
 
-Dry Grass paused, taking a deep breath. "Here are the things she was not able to confirm, but which I do not believe were outright denials. She was not able to confirm the reason for the downtime and did not respond to any of my guesses. However, as this discussion took place over AVEC, I was able to see her as she spoke. I asked if there was any physical damage to the System hardware: no change. I asked if there was any permanent damage to the System internals: no change. I asked if there was any trouble phys-side that led to the downtime: she looked down to her hands on the desk. Finally, I asked if this downtime might have been intentional, whether there might have been malice behind it: she looked off-screen, her expression appearing tense, perhaps frightened."
+Dry Grass paused, taking a deep breath. "Here are the things she was not able to confirm, but which I do not believe were outright denials. She was not able to confirm the reason for the downtime and did not respond to any of my guesses. However, as this discussion took place over AVEC, I was able to see her as she spoke. I asked if there was any physical damage to the System hardware: no change. I asked if there was any permanent damage to the System internals: no change. I asked if there was any trouble phys-side that led to the downtime: she looked down to her hands on the desk. Finally, I asked if this downtime might have been intentional, whether there might have been malice behind it: she looked off-screen, her expression appearing tense, perhaps frightened. I suspect an NDA block on her implants. I have heard these are uncomfortable at best."
 
 At this, the muttering grew darker still.
 
@@ -440,7 +440,7 @@ There followed nearly half an hour of silence. Most of the Odists looked distant
 
 By the end, many of them were in tears.
 
-"Alright," Need An Answer said. "The amount provided to me is 748. Combined with those who are not here and who have responded, there are 1,338 Odists. Please now provide tallies of how many of these instances are missing."
+"Alright," Need An Answer said. "The amount provided to me is 748. Combined with those who are not here who have responded, there are 1,338 Odists. Please now provide tallies of how many of these instances are missing."
 
 "Why?" In All Ways asked. Her expression had shifted from upset to unnerved.
 
@@ -486,7 +486,7 @@ The skunk didn't reply other than to continue whispering 'no' quietly.
 
 A Finger Pointing spoke up, casting a careful sidelong glance at her partner, Beholden. "We have spoken of the Ode, yes, of the two lines, but we should not omit those long-lived instances that were lost. I have lost one of my own up-trees. I have lost A Finger Curled."
 
-At this, Beholden burst into tears, eventually rolling to the side to slip out of the sim. A Finger Pointing quickly forked to follow while the other instance remained.
+At this, Beholden burst suddenly into tears, eventually rolling to the side to slip out of the sim. A Finger Pointing quickly forked to follow while the other instance remained.
 
 "You are right. I apologize, my dear," Need An Answer said, bowing. "Of the 28 missing, five are long-lived instances that are not named lines, including A Finger Curled. My condolences to you, to Beholden, and to her up-tree instance."