update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md

@@ -65,7 +65,7 @@ May sighed.
 
 "Still feeling fractured?" Ioan asked.
 
-"I am of two minds, Ioan. I do not know if I will feel... I do not know. I am not comfortable speaking further on this just yet."
+"I am of two minds, Ioan. I do not know if I will feel...I do not know. I am not comfortable speaking further on this just yet."
 
 They spent the rest of the night in quiet, May leaning against eir side while True Name and End Waking spoke quietly about the plain and the forest.
 
@@ -161,7 +161,7 @@ Once the door was shut behind them, May let out a shaky sigh and padded over to
 
 "Why, do you think?" ey asked.
 
-The skunk took a moment to pour herself a glass of water before replying. "I want to be here with you, and I also want to be in there with her, and I also want to go back in time and tell her I do not want to merge, and I also want to go back in time and merge instead of End Waking, and...a-and..."
+She took a moment to pour herself a glass of water before replying. "I want to be here with you, and I also want to be in there with her, and I also want to go back in time and tell her I do not want to merge, and I also want to go back in time and merge instead of End Waking, and...a-and..."
 
 "Come here, May."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/030.md

@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ She perked up and tilted her head. "One moment. Or...well, come with me."
 
 May led em to True Name's room where the skunk was slouched over on the bed, head resting in the other instance of May's lap, the two of them tucked into the nest of pillows in the corner.
 
-"Let me reduce--" The May who had stayed with Ioan quit, leaving the other instance of her to quickly incorporate the merge and continued, "--conflicts. True Name, are you able to speak?"
+"Let me reduce--" The May who had stayed with Ioan quit, leaving the other instance of her to quickly incorporate the merge and continue, "--conflicts. True Name, are you able to speak?"
 
 The answer was a long time coming. "Some," she croaked.
 
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@ It made sense, at least. Whenever ey'd dealt with a longer merge --- eir longest
 
 *"How are you doing with it?"*
 
-She sighed, at which True Name squinted up to her, then over to Ioan, offering a faint smile before settling back into processing.
+She sighed, at which True Name squinted up to her, then over to Ioan, offering a weak smile before settling back into processing.
 
 *"I do not know, my dear. It has activated all of my care instincts, so I am happy to make her comfortable in all of the ways I know how. It helps, then, that those are all of the ways she knows now, too, or at least is learning. If I focus on that, I feel very positive. It is only when I get distracted and ruminating that I begin to spiral. It is more comfortable for me to focus on caring for someone now than it is to think about boundaries or Zacharias or Jonas."*
 
@@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ She glanced sharply at May, then said to Ioan, "Ey did not tell you the Name? No
 
 Ey nodded, swept the sim of everyone but the three of them, and instructed the perisystem architecture to print out the *0 individuals swept* receipt onto a slip of foolscap, which ey handed over.
 
-"Move back, May Then My Name," she instructed, quieter this time. When the skunk obliged, she crawled closer to em and set up a cone of silence with secure visual ACLs. She was panting and shaking, though ey was pleased to see that at least the anger that had swelled briefly had subsided once more into something more manageable. Ey didn't think any of them were up for a shouting match. Once she'd knelt beside em, whispered, "Show me."
+"Move back, May Then My Name," she instructed, quieter this time. When May obliged, the skunk crawled closer to em and set up a cone of silence with secure visual ACLs. She was panting and shaking, though ey was pleased to see that at least the anger that had swelled briefly had subsided once more into something more manageable. Ey didn't think any of them were up for a shouting match. Once she'd knelt beside em, whispered, "Show me."
 
 Ey drew the sheet out of the air, holding it up for True Name to see the fully redacted text, then unlocked it for her eyes only and handed it over.
 
@@ -148,7 +148,7 @@ Ey did so and held up eir hands. "I'm sorry, True--"
 
 She patted eir arm with a shaking paw. "Please do not apologize." After dropping the cone of silence, she continued, "I should have...I should have learned from...I am sorry."
 
-May held out a paw once more, and this time True Name took it, letting herself be guided back to the nest of pillows, where she slumped down once more, expression glassy. "Could themself have peeped --- And seen my Brain --- go round ---," she mumbled.
+May held out a paw once more, and this time True Name took it, letting herself be guided back to the nest of pillows, where she slumped down once more, expression glassy. "Could themself have peeped --- And seen my Brain --- go round ---" she mumbled.
 
 "Rest, my dear. It is okay," May said quietly. "Do you want company?"
 
@@ -170,7 +170,7 @@ Ey tried to puzzle it out through the fog of doziness that still surrounded em.
 
 At some point in the night, True Name had apparently rolled over and wound up curled in May's arms, much as she was curled in eirs, and with with eir arm resting atop May's, ey was left hugging two skunks.
 
-Ey lay there for a while, groggily trying to piece together eir thoughts on the situation. As far as ey could remember, in eir still sleep-addled state, ey'd never been this close to True Name before. There had been the occasional casual touch, a few touches out of necessity --- grabbing her hand to get away from Guōweī, lifting her after End Waking's merge --- but even going back to when ey'd first met her, there'd been very little touch. It made sense, given her personality, and yet here she was, all cuddled up with the two of them. If nothing else, ey should probably decide whether or not to extricate eir arm from the situation to ease that awkwardness.
+Ey lay there for a while, groggily trying to piece together eir thoughts on the situation. As far as ey could remember in eir still sleep-addled state, ey'd never been this close to True Name before. There had been the occasional casual touch, a few touches out of necessity --- grabbing her hand to get away from Guōweī, lifting her after End Waking's merge --- but even going back to when ey'd first met her, there'd been very little touch. It made sense, given her personality, and yet here she was, all cuddled up with the two of them. If nothing else, ey should probably decide whether or not to extricate eir arm from the situation to ease that awkwardness.
 
 Ah well, ey was probably worrying too much about this, just laying there and ruminating.
 
@@ -280,7 +280,7 @@ True Name leaned over enough to dot her nose against the skunk's cheek. "Thank y
 
 Ey shrugged. "A little, I guess. Just hard making it work in my head. Doesn't fit with what I remember of her."
 
-"I cannot picture you getting cozy with *just* True Name, no. I can barely picture her getting cozy with anyone, and that is certainly not even bringing End Waking's general touch aversion into the equation."
+"I cannot picture you getting cozy with *just* True Name, no. I can barely picture her getting cozy with anyone, and that is certainly not even bringing End Waking's general touch-aversion into the equation."
 
 "I'd assume she got cozy with Zacharias, if they were together."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/031.md

@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ After End Waking quit, Debarre started to trudge up the faint trail that they'd
 
 He knew that May Then My Name was right, that he probably needed to at least take into account that if Sasha and Michelle could change enough to make the Odists, then surely True Name could change enough to become someone that even her up-tree instances could like, just as he knew that he probably shouldn't take that out on his boyfriend, frustrated as he was.
 
-Still, it was hard to square the image of End Waking and True Name meeting up voluntarily. What was it that he'd said when Ioan had come by asking after camping supplies? *"I will help but I will not speak with her"*?
+Still, it was hard to square the image of End Waking and True Name meeting up voluntarily. What was it that he'd said when Ioan had come by asking after camping supplies? *"I need to be better to her than she might be to me"*?
 
 *Remember that you love him,* he thought, even as he trudged up the path. *Even if you're working to undermine all that shit that she's done with Jonas, at least you still love E.W.*
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/032.md

@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ End Waking shrugged. "You know more than I on that end. I do not keep up with ei
 
 He laughed and shook his head. "Should my life become so boring, you will have more to worry about, my love. I am better at being a pest than you give me credit for."
 
-"Fine, fine. I'll just get them from May Then My Name."
+"Fine. I'll just get them from May Then My Name."
 
 "You will have to put up with her ceaseless flirting."
 
@@ -98,7 +98,7 @@ The slight sag in End Waking's shoulders spoke of relief. He nodded, saying, "Of
 
 "Debarre, shut up," End Waking said, patting his knee. "Go. I will keep you up to date."
 
-"Fine, fine." He gave the skunk's paw a squeeze and grinned. "Love you."
+"Okay, okay, I'm going." He gave the skunk's paw a squeeze and grinned. "Love you."
 
 "Love you too."