update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/007.md

@@ -127,3 +127,47 @@ She rolled her eyes.
 "No, I mean, maybe it's you in that you're the first person I've gotten close enough to to wind up feeling like that, at least since I uploaded."
 
 The skunk paused in the act of picking another plate from the river, letting it drift on. "Did you feel that way about your brother? Was you uploading your fix?"
+
+Ey felt eir muscles go rigid, eir jaw clench, eir hands star to shake. "Uh...well, huh."
+
+Ears splayed and eyes wide with alarm, the skunk reached out to take one of eir hands in her own. "I am sorry, my dear. If I overstepped, I apologize."
+
+Letting the skunk lace her fingers with eirs, ey shook eir head as though to dislodge the slight dizziness that had come with the realization. "Maybe?" Ey forced a smile. "I mean, maybe uploading was my fix for that situation? I don't know."
+
+She nodded, gave eir hand a gentle squeeze.
+
+"I think you're the only person I've really loved other than him," ey said, nudging the conversation back on track to avoid settling into rumination. "That's what I meant. I want to make things good for you, whether it's you overflowing, stuff with True Name, or any other number of things that aren't my responsibility or even under my control."
+
+May smiled, the expression veering perilously close to a smirk. "You have said that you want to fix things for True Name at times, too, my dear. Are you sure you are not in love?"
+
+"Right, and I've also talked about how often I'll wind up getting caught off guard by how much you two still look and sound alike," ey said, smirking right back. "She's nice and I do want to help her, but I think I'm a ways off from that."
+
+She laughed. "I know, I know. You just leave yourself so open, sometimes, a girl cannot help herself. You are also allowed to want to help friends and acquaintances as well as me."
+
+"Skunks, I swear..." He laughed when she pinched at eir fingers, tugging eir hand back so ey could grab another plate of yellowtail. "That's kind of what I was thinking about on the walk, though. I feel weirdly obligated to fix things. It's not my place to, I don't think either of you would be comfortable with that, and that's not even counting whether or not it's something either of you want."
+
+"I do not know," she said, shrugging. "I spoke about that with End Waking and Debarre recently, and am no closer to an answer. We did all agree, however, that you doing what you are is a good thing, in that it at least sets up an avenue for change, even if True Name or I do not decide to take that step."
+
+Ey nodded. "I just want things to remain smooth between everyone, is all. Maybe it's a little...I don't know, overly conciliatory of me?"
+
+"Perhaps, but that does not mean it does not have its own utility."
+
+They ate in silence for a moment, then, Ioan eventually giving up after finishing eir plate. It was no less easy to eat too much, even in an embedded world.
+
+"Are you okay with it?"
+
+"Hmm?"
+
+"Being between us. Interacting with the both of us even though I still resent her and she is still pleased with the work that she does. Are you okay being in the middle of that?"
+
+Ey slouched back against the booth and watched the plates drift lazily by on the current, thinking. "I don't know."
+
+"That is a perfectly valid answer, my dear."
+
+"I don't really like the feeling. I feel weird about it every time it comes up, much as we need to talk about it." Ey smiled, taking one of her paws in eir hand again. "I agree that it has its uses. It's uncomfortable, but I don't think I'd be any more comfortable dropping out of the role."
+
+The skunk brushed her thumb over eir fingers, saying, "I understand, Ioan. It is complex. If it needs to change, it can, and until then, even if I still harbor equally complex thoughts on True Name, I appreciate your position in our dynamic."
+
+The conversation drifted away from the topic after that, and the two wound up back at home to poke through their own projects even as the night fell early.
+
+It wasn't until they'd made it back to bed and curled up together that ey was finally able to let go of the topic, though. Even throughout eir writing, a small portion of eir mind had been dedicated to the question of what eir role was between the two skunks and why it both rankled and felt necessary.