update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/003.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 # Codrin Balan --- 2346
 
-    Convergence T-22 days, 1 hour, 48 minutes
+    Convergence T-21 days, 9 hours, 48 minutes
 
 Codrin found emself in possession of a blissful day of peace after that sudden pile-on of news. Ey acknowledged a request from True Name to act as amanuensis with a faintness of heart that ey hoped the skunk did not notice, worked on a letter to Ioan, and then went back to spending the rest of eir day napping, catching up on a writing project ey had been poking at, shoving Dear around for fun, and watching the fox rehearse its next performance with their partner. This one was to be a ballroom dance where everyone invited would dance with instances of Dear, which would begin disappearing one by one while the rest grew steadily more anxious, as though worrying that they would be next.
 
@@ -26,9 +26,9 @@ There was a long moment of silence, broken only but the occasional noise of cont
 
 Ey hooked eir chin over the fox's shoulder, humming thoughtfully. "Maybe, in a way. I thought I did at the time. I thought I hated that she was part of the hidden level of control that everyone suspects but no one can prove. All she needed was a black suit, black sunglasses, and an earpiece."
 
-Dear and its partner laughed.
+Both of eir partners laughed.
 
-"Now, though, I think resentment is a more accurate word than hate. I resent the feeling of being controlled with no recourse. She may have the brainpower and manpower and analytical skills to read everyone as thoroughly as she did, but I resent how cold she was in actually doing so; there's no point in hating her. I don't dislike the System as it stands after her and Jonas's manipulation, but I resent the cynicism it took to get here. I don't resent being here, but I do resent the phys-side manipulations that led to me being here."
+"Now, though, I think resentment is a more accurate word than hate. I resent the feeling of being controlled with no recourse. She may have the brainpower and manpower and analytical skills to read everyone as thoroughly as she did, but I resent how cold she was in actually doing so; making me angry to make the result seem sensational? There's a lot of cynicism bound up in that." Ey shrugged. "There's no point in hating her. I don't dislike the System as it stands after her and Jonas's manipulation, but I resent the cynicism it took to get here. I don't resent being here, but I do resent the phys-side manipulations that led to me being here."
 
 After yawning, Dear's partner asked, "Think you'll be alright working beside her while you resent her?"
 
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ After yawning, Dear's partner asked, "Think you'll be alright working beside her
 
 The conversation trailed off from there, and the three slept well that night, each dreaming their dreams of cynicism or skunks or aliens or astronomers or love.
 
-The reprieve lasted until morning when, upon waking, Codrin discovered a note on the floor, written in the Odists' distinct handwriting:
+The reprieve lasted until morning when, upon waking, Codrin discovered a note on the floor, written in the Odists' distinctive handwriting:
 
 > Mx. Bălan,
 >
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ The reprieve lasted until morning when, upon waking, Codrin discovered a note on
 >
 > However, we will need one more representative. It would be vanishingly easy for me or Jonas to pick someone who would be fitting for our enterprises, but why do that when it would potentially be much more interesting to let you pick? It ought to be someone outside the Ode clade or your polycule, but beyond that, I find myself fascinated by the idea that you --- you, who have your feet on the ground and head in the clouds --- might pick someone about whom I know nothing. With two Odists on the team already, one of whom is one of my up-tree instances, I am sure you can see that we will have the situation under control from our end.
 >
-> Please make your choice today, and I will look forward to seeing the two of you by, say, systime 1700 for a candlelit dinner in Tycho's delightful sim. If they are interested in joining, your partners are also welcome.
+> Please make your choice today, and I will look forward to seeing the two of you at systime 1700 for a candlelit dinner in Tycho's delightful sim. If they are interested in joining, your partners are also welcome.
 >
 > Cordially,
 >
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@ It preened.
 
 "She's earnest about everything. It's really endearing, actually. She's likeable without being manipulative or cynical. She's interested in people, too, and tries to see the good in them like it's her job." They paused, grinned, and shrugged. "I mean, she was my therapist before I uploaded, so I may be a little biased."
 
-Ey raised eir eyebrows. "A therapist? That's actually a really good idea, come to think of it. Someone who can understand humans and just be a normal human is what I was thinking of. What's her name?"
+Ey raised eir eyebrows. "A therapist? That's a really good idea, come to think of it. Someone who can understand humans and just be a normal human is what I was thinking of. What's her name?"
 
 "Sarah Genet. Want me to see if she's free? She's a tracker, I'm sure she'd be willing to send a fork for something like this."
 
@@ -125,7 +125,7 @@ Ey liked her immediately, a feeling which ey'd questioned ever since composing t
 
 "Quick pitch?" Codrin said. "Aliens found our Dreamer Module signal and are going to upload a diplomatic party in a few weeks, and you were suggested as a good candidate for the talks."
 
-A few moments of quiet followed before Dear's partner laughed. "Sorry Sarah. You see why I wanted you over here to have this conversation in person?"
+A few long seconds of quiet followed before Dear's partner laughed. "Sorry Sarah. You see why I wanted you over here to have this conversation in person?"
 
 "You're telling me, good Lord." She shook her head, folded her hands on the table, and smiled. "Alright, now give me the longer pitch."
 
@@ -157,7 +157,13 @@ She held her coffee cup in her hands, tilting her head thoughtfully. "You know,
 
 Codrin frowned.
 
-"Not that it's hopeless, of course. I'm still happy to help. Honored, even! Just an eventuality you might want to prepare for. Have they sent us anything to teach us their language?"
+"Not that it's hopeless, of course. I'm still happy to help. Honored, even! Just an eventuality you might want to prepare for." 
+
+"Well, maybe you can help us understand the Odists better, if nothing else."
+
+Dear kicked at eir shin beneath the table.
+
+Sarah laughed. "Have they sent us anything to teach us their language?"
 
 *"One of their languages, perhaps,"* Dear chimed in. *"There seem to be four different species."*