update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/003.md

@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ She lifted her snout enough to lick eir nose-tip, then shoved at em playfully. "
 
 "You fork more than anyone I know, you could just--"
 
-"I am trying to tell you to get out of here, Ioan," she said, grinning in earnest. "Do not mind a little bit of anxiety. I will think on it and we will talk later. Good luck, have fun, and do not die, okay?"
+"I am trying to tell you to get out of here, Ioan," she said, grinning in earnest. "Do not mind a little bit of anxiety. I am sorry that that spilled over. I will think on it and we will talk later. Good luck, have fun, and do not die, okay?"
 
 Ey shook eir head and stood again, grabbing eir notebook. "Skunks. I swear..."
 
@@ -32,9 +32,9 @@ Ey stepped out of the sim before she could kick eir shin.
 
 Ey ordered eir usual coffee and staked out eir usual spot on the couch. Rather than getting to work while ey waited for True Name, ey simply sat and enjoyed eir coffee as best ey could, staring off into nothing while mulling over May's words.
 
-*You will be okay, right?* Ey frowned and shifted eir gaze down to eir coffee, half gone by now. There were relatively few occasions that would bring about anxiety in eir partner, and ey knew the majority of them stemmed from within herself.
+*You will be okay, right?* Ey frowned and shifted eir gaze down to eir coffee, half gone by now. There were relatively few things that would bring about such anxiety in eir partner, and ey knew the majority of them stemmed from within herself.
 
-She'd often been upset by her down-tree instance, though that hatred she'd borne for so long had softened to something more like distaste of late. She'd occasionally gotten upset at em, usually when ey'd not picked up on some cue that she'd given for some emotional need ey wasn't meeting. Both of those she'd express as best she could after the initial burst of anxiety.
+Her down-tree instance was another source, although that hatred she'd borne for so long had softened to something more like distaste of late. She'd occasionally gotten upset at em, usually when ey'd not picked up on some cue that she'd given for some emotional need ey wasn't meeting. Both of those she'd express as best she could after the initial burst of anxiety.
 
 All of the other times, though, had come from within. Whatever dire emotions that dwelt beneath the chipper, goofy, sarcastic, and delightfully earnest layer that made up the most of her would peek through and a little spark of something more profound and inexplicable would come over her. 
 
@@ -42,11 +42,11 @@ Ey frowned down to eir coffee, and considered whether ey should start laying in
 
 "Mx. Bălan?"
 
-Ey jolted and sat upright. True Name stood on the other side of the low coffee table from em, not yet having made the move to sit. "Sorry, True Name."
+Ey jolted and sat upright. True Name stood on the other side of the low table from em, not yet having made the move to sit. "Sorry, True Name."
 
-She bowed, smiling kindly. "May I join you? You looked quite deep in thought, and I am happy to meet up at another time."
+She smiled kindly and bowed. "May I join you? You looked quite deep in thought, and I am happy to meet up at another time."
 
-Returning the bow apologetically, ey gestured toward her usual spot on the couch. "No, no. Sorry, I was a bit stuck up in my head. Could probably stand with getting out more often."
+Returning the bow apologetically, ey gestured toward her usual spot on the couch. "No, no. Sorry, I was a bit stuck up in my head. Could probably do with getting out more often."
 
 The skunk nodded and sat, blinking a cone of silence into being. She lapped at a bit of the whipped cream atop her mocha to get down to the drink. "I quite understand. Bit too cooped up of late?"
 
@@ -56,7 +56,7 @@ She grinned. "Plenty on your plate, then. May I ask how May Then My Name is doin
 
 "Oh, she's alright."
 
-Ey must have hesitated before responding, or not kept eir own anxiety out of eir voice, as True Name's expression fell briefly, though it was quickly replaced. "Say hi for me?"
+Ey must have hesitated before responding or not kept eir own anxiety out of eir voice, as True Name's expression fell briefly, though it was quickly replaced. "Say hi for me?"
 
 Ey nodded. "Of course."
 
@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ That also felt like a closed topic given its context of being purpose-built, so
 
 She smiled disarmingly and held up her free paw. "Of course, Ioan, no trouble. Can you tell me about your own project, perhaps?"
 
-Ey opened eir mouth, closed it again, then laughed. "I feel like I laid a bunch of landmines around me. Hopefully it's not uncomfortable, but with all that went down on Castor, I've been toying with rewriting *On the Perils of Memory* as a play."
+Ey opened eir mouth, closed it again, then laughed. "I feel like I laid a bunch of conversational landmines around me. Hopefully it's not uncomfortable, but with all that went down on Castor, I've been toying with rewriting *On the Perils of Memory* as a play."
 
 The skunk got a strange look on her face, then laughed. "Oh really? Cheeky! I do not know if I will be able to make it to a performance, but I will be delighted to read the script, if you wind up publishing it."
 
@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ Ioan had to focus on keeping eir expression neutral. True Name hadn't always had
 
 "Uh...well, no," ey stammered, caught off guard by the humor. "Actually, no contact at all. I don't think I've even talked about what happened with the other side of the clade until now."
 
-"'The other side of the clade' is a more appropriate phrase, is it not? We are spread along a spectrum. Those like Dear, May Then My Name, and Hammered Silver at one end, those such as Praiseworthy, Those Who Forge, and Teeth Of Death somewhere in the middle, and then me and my ilk on the other." The skunk finished her coffee and leaned forward to set her cup down before continuing. "To soothe any fears you may have, it was not me who hired Guōweī, nor am I pleased with what happened and how."
+"'The other side of the clade' is a more appropriate phrase, is it not? We are spread along a spectrum. Those like Dear, May Then My Name, and Hammered Silver at one end, those such as Praiseworthy, Those Who Forge, and Teeth Of Death somewhere in the middle, and then me and my ilk on the other. Death Itself and her stanza, out of all of us, seemed to have escaped that spectrum." The skunk finished her coffee to give a moment of silence, then leaned forward to set her cup down before continuing. "To soothe any fears you may have, it was not me who hired Guōweī, nor am I pleased with what happened and how."
 
 "Who did? Do you know?"
 
@@ -134,7 +134,7 @@ Ey nodded. "And you? What do you think of it?"
 
 "That, the possible play, the events as a whole."
 
-There was a moment of silence as the skunk thought, brushing a paw over one of her knees to smooth out her slacks. "With the understanding that there is much that I cannot tell you about my feelings on the proceedings, I found it all frustrating and unnerving. I worked with Qoheleth on several occasions throughout the years, and watching his...I will not say decline, as I think the metaphor fails, but his metamorphosis from Odist to Qoheleth touched on some primal distress. As I have said, I am not pleased with what happened or how. I liked Qoheleth quite a bit."
+There was a moment of quiet as the skunk thought, brushing a paw over one of her knees to smooth out her slacks. "With the understanding that there is much that I cannot tell you about my feelings on the proceedings, I found it all frustrating and unnerving. I worked with Qoheleth on several occasions throughout the years, and watching his...I will not say decline, as I think the metaphor fails, but his metamorphosis from Odist to Qoheleth touched on some primal distress. As I have said, I am not pleased with what happened or how. I liked him quite a bit."
 
 This seemed to deserve another moment of silence, one of acknowledgement rather than thoughtfulness, and so ey let it play out, the muffled clatter of the rest of the cafe coming through the cone of silence suddenly much more present.
 
@@ -152,13 +152,13 @@ Eir mind raced. How could ey possibly bring up the Name? That Codrin now knew it
 
 The skunk tilted her head, gestured for em to continue.
 
-*Doesn't she know?* ey thought. *She has to.*
+*Doesn't she know?* ey thought. *She has to. Is she faking it?*
 
-"Well," ey stammered, hastily backtracking through eir train of thought. Perhaps ey should stick with ignorance as well. "All that about getting lost, and how fourthrace experienced similar and also dealt with long-term effects."
+"Well," ey stammered, hastily backtracking through eir train of thought. Perhaps ey should feign ignorance as well. "All that about getting lost, and how fourthrace experienced similar and also dealt with long-term effects."
 
 Still frowning, she nodded.
 
-"It was all bound up in some clade-eyes only thoughts," ey hastened to add, hoping that the slight untruth would be enough. "Eir worries about Dear...but I don't want to say anymore."
+"It was all bound up in some clade-eyes only thoughts," ey hastened to add, hoping that the slight untruth would be enough. "Eir worries about Dear, Death Itself...but I don't want to say anymore."
 
 That seemed to have been enough, as the tenseness that had been building in her shoulders relaxed, though her frown remained. "Of course, yes, I did not mean to press. My apologies."