update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/026.md

@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ It wasn't so bad being hooked on touch and affection, though. Ey'd grown to cher
 
 With neither of them feeling all that keen on talking further, they simply lounged on the beanbag together, reveling in the spring-tinted sunlight. A little napping, a little petting on skunks, but mostly just calm and quiet.
 
-It wasn't until nearly dinner that they stirred again, Ioan squirming until ey could sit up on the beanbag cross-legged, letting May lounge in eir lap.
+It wasn't until nearly dinner that they stirred again, Ioan squirming until ey could sit up on the beanbag cross-legged, letting May lounge draped across eir lap.
 
 "I have been thinking," May began, sounding more dozy than anything. "But I would like to ensure you are willing to talk about this whole merger business before I shove us into a conversation."
 
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ Ioan tugged the skunk up a little further until ey could get eir arms around her
 
 Perhaps she was still overflowing, in a way. At the tail end of it, sure, but every time in the past, she had waited until she was mostly feeling better before fetching em back from Douglas's, whereas this morning, she seemed to have forced herself out of that state, rightfully or otherwise, to at least not be alone.
 
-There was some slight distortion, here, though, a way of thinking that didn't quite mesh with her personality. Ey agreed to an extent, but it was her framing that was bothering em most.
+There was some slight distortion here, though, a way of thinking that didn't quite mesh with her personality. Ey agreed to an extent, but it was her framing that was bothering em most.
 
 "So," ey began, choosing eir words carefully. "I did say that I'm really starting to not feel so great about the idea, but I'm not totally sure I agree with how much of that you're putting on yourself. You sound preemptively guilty."
 
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ May squirmed out of eir grasp to sit on the beanbag alongside em, elbows on knee
 
 "I'm sorry, May. Maybe this isn't--"
 
-"No, you are right," she mumbled, sounding miserable. It tugged at eir emotions to the point where ey had to restrain emself from tugging her back in for a hug, though her posture kept em at bay. "I am not at baseline yet, my dear. Nothing makes sense. It is like having my emotions refracted through a glass of water. I probably should not even be talking about it."
+"No, you are right," she mumbled, sounding miserable. It tugged at eir emotions to the point where ey had to restrain emself from tugging her back in for a hug, though her posture kept em at bay. "I am not at baseline yet. Nothing makes sense. It is like having my emotions refracted through a glass of water. I probably should not even be talking about it."
 
 "It's important, I just don't want you to push yourself if you're not out of the rough patch yet."
 
@@ -58,11 +58,11 @@ She hesitated, signed, shook her head. "I do not know, Ioan."
 
 Ey nodded.
 
-May picked up a plate of mashed potatoes and asparagus, shooing em back to the dining room table. "I think that she has become so singular a person that she cannot but be controlled by Jonas. Her role in guiding the System is no less real; she did the work that she does and she did it both well and proudly. But she built herself into a tool without realizing it, and over the centuries, Jonas has been teaching himself to use that to his advantage, to use her as a tool."
+May picked up a plate of mashed potatoes and asparagus, shooing em back to the dining room table. "I just think that she has become so singular a person that she cannot but be controlled by Jonas. Her role in guiding the System is no less real; she did the work that she does and she did it both well and proudly. But she built herself into a tool without realizing it, and over the centuries, Jonas has been teaching himself to use that to his advantage, to use her as a tool."
 
 "And rounding her out more with merges would help make her more of a generalist?"
 
-Laughing, she set her plate down, tugged out her chair, and fell heavily into it. "Generalist is a very utilitarian way to put it. You are not wrong in that it would allow her to be more than a unitasker, but it would also make her more of a person. Someone as focused as her is easy to pin down."
+Laughing, she set her plate down, tugged out her chair, and fell heavily into it. "Generalist is a very utilitarian way to put it. You are not wrong in that it would allow her to be more than a unitasker, but it would also make her more of a person, harder to control. Someone as focused as her is easy to pin down."
 
 "I would've thought she'd see that coming, though."
 
@@ -86,7 +86,7 @@ While ey didn't mind May's ideas of comfort food, they were not especially well
 
 "But yes," the skunk continued once she'd cleaned her plate. "There was some aspect of vengeance to my and End Waking's plan, but now I just want her away from Jonas. I do not know yet whether or not I like her or want her to stay in our lives in any way, shape, or form, but I do know that I want her away from him. I want her to live and to--"
 
-Both Ioan and May jolted in their seats as a flash of adrenaline ran through them. A view of a forest, a lake shore, pile of wood not yet lit, and, sitting on a log across from that another furry. His facial structure was very similar to Dear's but where the fennec had wound up with that pristine white fur, he had ruddy orange except for the white on the underside of his chin and a dark apostrophe of fur on either side of his snout. Where Dear had wound up with almost absurdly large ears, his felt far more in proportion, along the lines of May's and True Names, though far pointier.
+Both Ioan and May jolted in their seats as a flash of adrenaline ran through them. A view of a forest, a lake shore, pile of wood not yet lit, and, sitting on a log across from that, another furry. His facial structure was very similar to Dear's but where the fennec had wound up with that pristine white fur, he had ruddy orange except for the white on the underside of his chin and a dark apostrophe of fur on either side of his snout. Where Dear had wound up with almost absurdly large ears, his felt far more in proportion, along the lines of May's and True Names, though far pointier.
 
 One thing Dear and this new fox did share in common was the snappy dress. Where Dear had wound up in a comfortable androgyny, though, the red fox had turned it into a prim masculinity that was, ey had to admit, quite effective. Black trousers, a white shirt and charcoal waistcoat, and a suit jacket. It was topped off with a simple tie and affected cane, currently being twirled lazily between black-furred paws.
 
@@ -105,6 +105,7 @@ True Name was still kneeling before the pile of wood in what had clearly become
 "We are not married," May said, growling nearly as well as True Name. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
 
 "Oh, just popping in to say hi, is all," he said cheerily. "Zacharias, by the way. Nice to meet you, Ioan. My dear May Then My Name, it has been more than two hundred years!"
+
 "Well, hi," she said. "Now get out."
 
 "Oh, I just got here, though!" He pouted, looking between the three of them. Then the smirk returned, along with a wicked glint to his eye. "Besides, what are you going to do about it, my dear? Bounce me?"
@@ -133,7 +134,7 @@ She rolled her eyes.
 
 May laughed humorlessly. "Right, and poor Zack just had to sit by and--"
 
-The fox was up in a flash and, with a back-handed swipe, slapped the skunk across the muzzle, getting a yelp out of her and a shout out of Ioan. "You do not have permission to use that name," he growled.
+The fox was up in a flash and, with a back-handed swipe, slapped the skunk across the muzzle, getting a yelp out of her and a shout out of Ioan. "You do not have permission to use that name," he hissed.
 
 It took Ioan a few seconds to process what had just happened, but then fury welled up within em faster than any other emotion ey'd felt before. Had ey ever even felt fury before? A small part of em marveled at the unfamiliar feeling.
 
@@ -163,7 +164,7 @@ He once more bowed with a flourish. "I live to serve, Rintrah my dear!" he said,
 
 "Yes, tell Jonas to quit sending his most foppish lackeys," she shot back.
 
-"But my dear! I am here specifically to drive the point home! You are in so far over your head that even 'little loverfox' is a part of your fate." He laughed gleefully. "Oh, it sounds so evil, does it not? Cartoonishly so! There is no way that I can even begin to talk about this without sounding like a mustache-twirling villain. You have done so well, True Name. It is simply time to step aside. We will see you soon, yes?"
+"But my dear! I am here specifically to drive the point home! You are in so far over your head that even 'little loverfox' is a part of your fate." He laughed gleefully. "Oh, it sounds so evil, does it not? Cartoonishly so! There is no way that I can even begin to talk about this without sounding like a mustache-twirling villain. That I might say things like 'encompass your doom' just tickles me pink. You have done so well, True Name. It is simply time to step aside. We will see you soon, yes?"
 
 True Name nodded. "Yes. Now, fuck off."
 
@@ -185,11 +186,11 @@ The skunk stared into the fire for almost a full minute, then looked off to the
 
 "Of course," ey said, still doing eir best to tamp down eir anger. "I can find something simple on the market for the time being."
 
-True Name knelt by the fire for another minute before dousing the flames with a collapsible pail of water.
+True Name knelt by the fire for a moment longer before dousing the flames.
 
 Once they made it back to the house and True Name had showered, they sat around the dining table, each with a glass of wine from a bottle ey'd received years back. When True Name suggested that a drink was in order, Ioan and May readily agreed.
 
-Ioan couldn't guess why the two skunks had felt it was necessary, but ey needed something to blunt the edges of that anger that still spun within em. Ey wasn't sure ey'd ever truly felt fury before, but it turned out that watching eir partner get struck across the face was a really, really good way to bring out the emotion.
+Ioan couldn't guess why the two skunks had felt it was necessary, but ey needed something to try and blunt the edges of that anger that still spun within em. Ey wasn't sure ey'd ever truly felt fury before, but it turned out that watching eir partner get struck across the face was a really, really good way to bring out the emotion.
 
 Ey didn't like it at all.
 
@@ -229,13 +230,13 @@ Ey frowned, but nodded for them to continue.
 
 "So, a few decades later," True Name said. "Secession is done, the council is heading towards dissolution, and I am starting to relax. More friends from phys-side uploaded, more furries figured out how to exist within the System as they would like, and I started to meet more people outside work. One of them just happened to be this fantastically well-dressed fox who was just as witty as I felt. We became friends, then we became a bit more." She shrugged. "That instance of Jonas had...well..."
 
-"Twisted. He twisted my fork into something that neither the me of today nor the me back then would have agreed to." May sniffled and wiped at her face. "He turned that version of me into a way of influencing True Name."
+"Twisted. He twisted my fork into something that neither the me of today nor the me back then would have agreed to." May said bitterly and wiped at her face. "He turned that version of me into a way of influencing True Name."
 
 "Yes. It was a long game. He drifted in and out of my life, over the centuries, and then, shortly before Launch, he showed up again and we began to get close. A few years after Launch, they took me out to dinner and dropped the whole thing on me all at once. I am told they did the same on each of the LVs as well, just with different framing."
 
 Eir head was swimming at the flood of information, and when rubbing eir face didn't work to clear it, ey willed the drunkenness away and waved a glass of ice water into being. "Which I don't get. Why are you so overwhelmed here and not on the LVs?"
 
-The skunk twisted her wine glass between her fingers for a few quiet moments. "I was focused on continuity and stability. I think that Jonas was as well, enough to go along with the launch project, but once it was done and that continuity was assured, we here on Lagrange let them go their own ways --- the Guiding Council on Pollux and the previous status quo on Castor --- while he focused on cementing his power. They were safely away with minimal influence here."
+The skunk twisted her wine glass between her fingers for a few quiet moments. "I have always been focused on continuity and stability. I think that Jonas was as well, enough to go along with the launch project, but once it was done and that continuity was assured, we here on Lagrange let them go their own ways --- the Guiding Council on Pollux and the previous status quo on Castor --- while he focused on cementing his power. They were safely away with minimal influence here."
 
 "Is that what this is all about?"
 
@@ -243,7 +244,7 @@ She nodded. "We were in a steady state for many years after they explained every
 
 They sat in silence, then, while Ioan tried to digest this. Ey was still furious at Zacharias, but now that fury had gained a layer of what almost felt like despair, that someone such as him might have their roots in eir May.
 
-At least it had all gone a long way towards explaining the dynamic on the three Systems. Who knew why the other True Names had decided to treat this one like they had, withholding valuable information, all but cutting her out of their plans. Clearly those few years between launch and Jonas and Zacharias's announcement had included additional shaping, that other framing True Name had mentioned, both of her as well as the Systems.
+At least it had all gone a long way towards explaining the dynamic on the three Systems. Who knew why the other True Names had decided to treat this one like they had, withholding valuable information, all but cutting her out of their plans. Clearly those few years between launch and Jonas and Zacharias's announcement had included additional shaping, both of her as well as the Systems.
 
 "Fuck."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/027.md

@@ -6,21 +6,21 @@ Still, that night, they slept for more than ten hours. It had taken May a while
 
 Eventually, though, they settled down into their usual spots and made it to sleep. 
 
-It was almost certainly the stress from the day before, ey reasoned. So much had happened in so short a time. Even the time spent relaxing on the beanbag with May felt at least productive, if still restful. So much had been packed into those last few hours, though, and so much emotion overall through the day, that sleep became an imperative.
+It was almost certainly the stress from the day before, ey reasoned. So much had happened in so short a time. Even the time spent relaxing on the beanbag with May felt at least productive, even if it was just resting. So much had been packed into those last few hours, though, and so much emotion overall through the day, that sleep became an imperative.
 
 True Name had spent most of the rest of the evening outside, dragging one of eir chairs down from the balcony to park herself in the yard. Despite the lingering vestiges of snow and the chill of the evening, she spent hours out there, either staring up into the sky or grooming bits of forest litter out of her fur.
 
 Ey imagined that she must have made it into bed at some point, though she still woke well before them, as when they finally managed to pry themselves out of bed, there were two steaming coffee mugs sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter, one black and one sweet and creamy, and the skunk was once more sitting outside on the chair, tail wrapped around her feet and coffee held against her chest.
 
-Ioan sent her a gentle sensorium ping, just to let her know that they were awake, then sat at eir desk. Ey had no clue what to even do, there, but if nothing else, ey had to have something comforting in front of em, something known. 
+Ioan sent her a gentle sensorium ping, just to let her know that they were awake, then sat at eir desk. Ey had no clue where to even begin, but if nothing else, ey had to have something comforting in front of em, something known. 
 
 "Well, nothing for it," ey mumbled, swiped a new notebook into being, and began to compile notes of the last few weeks. The work ey'd already done on the topic was useful enough, but it was starting to feel like it was not directed enough in the face of all that had happened.
 
 Ey began with a timeline, starting all the way back at the arrival of the Artemisians and that first meeting with True Name. Then followed the list of the times they'd met for coffee through the years. Ey dug through eir memories for any that stood out as particularly interesting. These were primarily early on, ey found, when they were still feeling out each others' boundaries, though the last few before the assassination attempt held some fascinating insights in the context of all that had happened since, as well.
 
-There was also information to fill in on the master timeline for the *History*, as well. Information about Zacharias, about End Waking's divergence from True Name.
+There was also information to fill in on the master timeline for the *History*, as well. Information about Zacharias, about Jonas, about End Waking's divergence from True Name.
 
-Finally, the last almost three weeks were laid out in much finer detail. The assassination, the clearing of the house, the meeting with End Waking, all the way up through the meeting with Zacharias the night before.
+Finally, the last almost three weeks were laid out in much finer detail. The assassination attempt, the clearing of the house, the meeting with End Waking, all the way up through the meeting with Zacharias the night before.
 
 "Ioaaan," May whined, pawing feebly at eir arm. "Hungryyy."
 
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ Ey chose the last of the poor skunk's risotto, added a healthy dusting of pepper
 
 "Thank you for lunch," True Name said, once she'd eaten most of her pasta. "When you have a moment, Ioan, I would like to see about expanding the sim as we discussed."
 
-"Right, yeah. Sorry I got so distracted this morning." Ey browsed the markets for appropriate wide open spaces ey could tack onto one of the borders of eir sim. Perhaps right beneath the skunk's window would be best. Ey could even extend the balcony and provide her with a set of stairs down into the space. "Alright. What sort of environment? There's some pretty good plains and parks, an okay forest, hmm...this mountain one isn't bad, but the trees are kind of planted in a grid."
+"Right, yeah. Sorry I got so distracted this morning." Ey browsed the markets for appropriate wide-open spaces ey could tack onto one of the borders of eir sim. Perhaps right beneath the skunk's window would be best. Ey could even extend the balcony and provide her with a set of stairs down into the space. "Alright. What sort of environment? There's some pretty good plains and parks, an okay forest, hmm...this mountain one isn't bad, but the trees are kind of planted in a grid."
 
 She grinned. "That sounds cheesy. However, let us go with a plain of some sort. I do not want to go back to a forest unless it is the one I remember, and a park would be too sterile. Is there nothing like Arrowhead Lake?"
 
@@ -65,7 +65,7 @@ Once the pressure of the environment left eir mind, ey was free to instruct the
 
 Ey slid the door open, beckoning to the two skunks. "Alright, let's head out and check on it."
 
-As promised, they were greeted with what looked to be an endless series of perfectly parallel rivers fading into the distance with the way the boundaries simply mirrored the empty plain on the sides. The fact that the oxbow lakes were also repeated set up a grid effect that was slightly unnerving. Thankfully, the effect disappeared when they went down the steps and into the grass itself. They found the grass to be fairly well made and the ground to be delightfully uneven; no small feat when it was so easy to make a perfectly flat plain. 
+As promised, they were greeted with what looked to be an endless series of perfectly parallel rivers fading into the distance with the way the boundaries simply mirrored the empty plain on the sides. The fact that the oxbow lakes were also repeated set up a grid effect that was slightly unnerving. Thankfully, the effect disappeared when they went down the steps and into the grass itself. They found the grass to be fairly well made and the ground to be delightfully uneven; no small feat when it was so easy to make a perfectly flat plane. 
 
 "I can maybe have the boundaries look like fog, if that helps. You'll have fog all the way around you, but at least no repeating rivers."