update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/006.md

@@ -12,19 +12,19 @@ All the same, this picnic was more muted than usual, and when they settled onto
 
 A bit more than two weeks after first contact, and the entire LV seemed to be talking about nothing else. Dear had even postponed the opening to its new show. News from Tycho was that, from day one, the Odists had been working on and shaping the news.
 
-Codrin suspected that this had come when it did solely due to the transmission delay from Lagrange, and, given the news that Ioan had relayed, ey did not doubt that this tight control was for good reason --- or at least what True Name considered good reason.
+Codrin suspected that this had come when it did solely due to the transmission delay from Lagrange, and, given what ey expected would happen with Ioan and May Then My Name, ey did not doubt that this tight control was for good reason --- or at least what True Name considered good reason.
 
-Ey had kept that note to emself.
+Ey had kept that thought to emself.
 
-The news of True Name visiting Ioan and May Then My Name was not, in and of itself, surprising. Ey had suspected she would do as much as soon ey had read anxiety in her expression at the mention of May Then My Name. She had surely sent message back to L<sub>5</sub> within seconds of em telling her such.
+Ey expected True Name would be visiting eir down-tree instance and eir partner before long. Ey had suspected she would do as much as soon ey had read anxiety in her expression at the mention of May Then My Name. She had surely sent a message back to L<sub>5</sub> within seconds of em telling her such.
 
-It was the reaction that Ioan described that bore the surprise. True Name was a touchy topic with one of eir partners, and the cold hatred of one of its cocladists was...well, ey could read melancholy in the fennec's face as easily as any other emotion. Ever since news of May Then My Name's thoughts on her down-tree instance had made their way across the light-days of distance, there had been more of that. There had been days of silence, days of tears, days of walking the prairie for hours at a time. When pressed, it would simply say, *"She is the best of us."*
+It was the reaction that ey was most worried about. True Name was a touchy topic with one of eir partners, and the cold hatred of one of its cocladists was...well, ey could read melancholy in the fennec's face as easily as any other emotion. Ever since news of May Then My Name's thoughts on her down-tree instance had made their way across the light-days of distance, there had been more of that. There had been days of silence, days of tears, days of walking the prairie for hours at a time. When pressed, it would simply say, *"She is the best of us."*
 
 Ey suspected that it was worried that cracks were showing across the clade. Ioan had admitted to having such concerns as well, and even mentioned that May Then My Name herself seemed to be harboring fears. "If Dear overflows with undirected energy," Ioan had written once, years ago. "Then May overflows with tears. I make a lot of chicken soup for her to have something comforting, though I'm not sure how much it helps. It's the only time she ever asks to be alone, and I will go stay with Douglas. She will spend hours in bed, letting out all of the overwhelming emotion that she needs to in order to become whole again. I love her deeply, but I'm sure you must know the pain of watching someone you love going through something like that."
 
-That had been another message ey had kept to emself.
+That had been another thought ey had kept to emself.
 
-The surprise had been not in May Then My Name's reaction --- though Ioan had stated that ey was laying in supplies for chicken soup --- but in True Name's. May Then My Name was the best of the clade, or at least the best of that stanza, and even True Name knew that.
+The worry lay not in how May Then My Name might react --- though Ioan had had always mentioned when ey was laying in supplies for chicken soup --- but in how True Name would. May Then My Name was the best of the clade, or at least the best of that stanza, and even True Name knew that.
 
 So today, they mostly lay in silence. It was not unpleasant, for the sun was on high and the temperature was perfect and ey could simply lay there with those ey loved.