update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/031.md

@@ -1,10 +1,10 @@
 # Debarre --- 2350
 
-When Debarre received the ping from End Waking, he quickly excused himself from dinner and dashed out into the back yard to respond. The last time he'd received a ping in the middle of a period of overflowing, it had been when the skunk's leg had been impaled on a branch, so he hoped against hope that it wasn't the entire tent washing away in a flood, this time. It was getting on into spring --- still a bit early for floods, but one never knew...
+When Debarre received the ping from End Waking, he quickly excused himself from dinner and dashed out into the back yard to respond. The last time he'd received a ping in the middle of a period of overflowing, it had been when the skunk's leg had been impaled on a branch, so he hoped against hope that it wasn't the entire tent washing away in a flood this time. It was getting on in spring --- still a bit early for floods, but one never knew...
 
 "E.W.?" ey mumbled. "What's up? You okay? Is the tent?"
 
-"The tent is fine, my dear," he replied. "I apologize if I interrupted, but I have some news regarding May Then My Name, Ioan, and True Name, and I need to speak about it with someone other than them. Someone not an Odist."
+"The tent is fine, my dear," he replied. "I apologize if I interrupted, but I have some news regarding May Then My Name, Ioan, and True Name, and you requested that I message you. Besides, I need to speak about it with someone other than them. Someone not an Odist."
 
 He frowned down to the lawn, kicking at a tuft of crabgrass. "Well, if you're getting in touch, I'm assuming it's urgent."
 
@@ -16,15 +16,13 @@ There was a sense of a sigh from the other end. "I am sorry, my love."
 
 "You? Impatient?" Debarre laughed. "I'll be right over."
 
-He forked off Debarre#RelEW and watched him step from the sim, then spent another few seconds looking out into the yard, trying to remember the last time anything had been so important that it had required him leaving immediately.
-
-Something other than a tree falling on End Waking, that was.
+He forked off Debarre#RelEW and watched him step from the sim, then spent another few seconds looking out into the yard, trying to remember the last time anything had been so important that it had required him leaving immediately Something other than a tree falling on End Waking, that was.
 
 "Well, shit," he mumbled turning to head back inside. "This is gonna be a mess."
 
 -----
 
-Debarre#RelEW was greeted by the sight of End Waking sitting cross-legged in the clearing across from May Then My Name.
+Debarre#RelEW was greeted by the sight of End Waking kneeling in the clearing across from May Then My Name.
 
 "Oh, company," he said, frowning. "Wasn't expecting two of you."
 
@@ -56,7 +54,7 @@ She blinked, looking startled. "Yes, actually. How did you guess?"
 
 "Debarre," End Waking murmured. 
 
-May Then My Name waved a paw. "It is okay. You do not have to like her. You do not have to interact with her. End Waking wanted you to know about some of the practical considerations, but neither of us are planning on swaying your opinion of her."
+May Then My Name waved a paw. "It is okay. You do not have to like her. You do not even have to interact with her. End Waking wanted you to know about some of the practical considerations, but neither of us are planning on swaying your opinion of her."
 
 He frowned and leaned back on his palms. "Sorry. I guess I'm just worried about you. She's not exactly known for her openness and honesty without ulterior motives, so."
 
@@ -76,7 +74,7 @@ May Then My Name frowned, leaned over to hug him around the shoulders, and whisp
 
 After a moment's hesitation, he returned the hug. Had she said it in anything less than her most earnest voice, he might have scoffed, and as it was, he could see himself falling for the gentle manipulation as though from a meter above. He could resent her, but she had said exactly what it was that he needed to hear.
 
-Because of course she had.
+Because of course she had. She was May Then My Name Die With Me. She knew just how to. She was built to
 
 "You're such an asshole," he whispered back, then kissed her cheek to take the sting out of the words. "I'll do my best. Now, shoo."
 
@@ -92,9 +90,9 @@ He shook his head. "Give me some time to think. There's still some of me that's
 
 The skunk smiled faintly. "Twenty minutes' walk up-river, then. He will know that you are coming."
 
-After End Waking quit, Debarre started to trudge up the faint trail that they'd worn heading up along the river.
+After End Waking quit, Debarre started to trudge up the faint trail that they'd already worn heading up along the river.
 
-He knew that May Then My Name was right, that he probably needed to at least take into account that if Sasha and Michelle could change enough to make the Odists, that surely True Name could change enough to become someone that even her up-tree instances could like, just as he knew that he probably shouldn't take that out on End Waking, frustrated as he was.
+He knew that May Then My Name was right, that he probably needed to at least take into account that if Sasha and Michelle could change enough to make the Odists, then surely True Name could change enough to become someone that even her up-tree instances could like, just as he knew that he probably shouldn't take that out on End Waking, frustrated as he was.
 
 Still, it was hard to square the image of his boyfriend and True Name meeting up voluntarily. What was it that he'd said when Ioan had come by asking after camping supplies? *"I will help but I will not speak with her"*?
 
@@ -110,11 +108,11 @@ End Waking shook his paws free of most of the water before drying them on the he
 
 "But you're visiting her!"
 
-"May Then My Name has asked me over a few times." The skunk finally looked at him, gaze level and expression flat. "Did you not say that you would rather she not die?"
+"On business, such as it is. May Then My Name has asked me over a few times." The skunk finally looked at him, gaze level and expression flat. "Did you not say that you would rather she not die?"
 
 "Yeah, but that doesn't mean that you need to interact with her. I don't want her to get offed by some asshole politician, but I also don't particularly want her in my life."
 
-End Waking shifted from his crouch to sitting cross-legged on the bank of the river. "I do understand that, yes. I do not particularly want her in mine, either, but I am now a part of hers, whether she likes it or not. I have been able to help her process some aspects of the merge and also tell her more of how I feel to her face. Once this is over, she will not need to be a part of my life any more, and I can move on to defining myself through something other than penance."
+End Waking shifted from his crouch to sitting cross-legged on the bank of the river. "I do understand that, yes. I do not particularly want her in mine, either, but I am now a part of hers, whether she likes it or not. I have been able to help her process some aspects of the merge and also tell her more of how I feel to her face. Once this is over, she will not need to be a part of my life any more if I so desire, and I can move on to defining myself through something other than penance."
 
 Debarre scratched a claw through the dirt of the bank, worrying a pebble free so that he could throw it into the river while he thought. Finally, he nodded, saying, "Okay, I get that. What will you define yourself as, then? Like, don't get me wrong, I'm happy you aren't her, and in part specifically *because* you aren't her, but that's not the only reason I love you."
 
@@ -124,7 +122,7 @@ Debarre scratched a claw through the dirt of the bank, worrying a pebble free so
 
 The skunk laughed and elbowed him in the side. "We have rather turned our clade identity into idolatry of a sort, have we not?"
 
-"Don't get me wrong, I like where you came from! But I won't be pissed if you drop your clade identifier. Hell, maybe you can even start saying things like 'don't' and 'isn't'."
+"Don't get me wrong, I like where you came from! But I won't be pissed if you drop your clade signifier. Hell, maybe you can even start saying things like 'don't' and 'isn't'."
 
 "Do not push your luck."
 
@@ -132,11 +130,11 @@ They laughed.
 
 "You don't have to have this sorted out, though." He shrugged, adding, "You don't even have to stop seeing True Name. I'm sorry I got angry there. I think I just got upset because any chance that you might start liking her felt like something of a betrayal."
 
-"I am a ways off yet from liking her, Debarre. I will not say never, but I may yet get to the point where I tolerate her. I will not betray you, though. You or your reactionary friends or whatever she called them."
+"I am a ways off yet from liking her, Debarre. I will not say never, but I have gotten to the point where I tolerate her. I will not betray you, though. You or your reactionary friends or whatever she called them."
 
 Debarre scrambled to his feet, eyes darting around through the trees. "What the fuck?"
 
-"The sim is empty, my dear," the skunk said mildly. "I empty it every time someone enters."
+"The sim is empty, my dear," the skunk said calmly. "I empty it every time someone enters."
 
 "Yeah, but--"
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/032.md

@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ End Waking smiled. "I know that you do, but it is always pleasing to have confir
 
 "Of course I do," he scoffed. "But I interrupted, sorry. You were saying?"
 
-"Right. With this AVEC technology, I think that Jonas sees an opening to edge True Name out. I do not know why, but she mentioned something about a diversity of governance across Systems. I do not agree with him on this. I think he is playing a dangerous game by treating each of the Systems so differently. Each System treating itself as a separate country is one thing, but potentially destabilizing them by giving each a different form of governance feels like him treating politics as his plaything. I do not like it."
+"Right. With this AVEC technology, I think that Jonas sees an opening to edge True Name out. I do not know why, but she mentioned something about a diversity of governance across Systems. I do not agree with him on this. I think he is playing a dangerous game by treating each of the Systems so differently. Each System treating itself as a separate country is one thing, but potentially destabilizing them by giving each a different form of governance feels like him treating politics as his personal plaything. I do not like it."
 
 The longer End Waking spoke, the deeper Debarre's frown got. "Yeah, ever since they set up that Guiding Council thing over on Pollux, we've been wondering about that. It sounds innocuous enough. Reasonably close to the Council of Ten over on Artemis, I guess, just folks you can go talk to about disagreements and mediation, at least on the surface. That part was inoffensive, but that they would even do such a thing in the face of the *History* is just wild."
 
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ End Waking nodded, chewing on a mouthful of tisane-bits. "Yes."
 
 "Why, though? Isn't that going to be dangerous? Never mind totally outside your interest. It'll all be politics."
 
-The skunk was a long time in answering, staring out into the forest and listening to the far-away rush of the waterfall. "There is what Jonas hopes to accomplish and what I hope to learn. Jonas, I think, would like to gloat. He would like it known that he can loop even me into his plans. He would like even me, even the recluse scared, to use as a lever over True Name if she is to come out of this alive."
+The skunk was a long time in answering, staring out into the forest and listening to the far-away rush of the waterfall. "There is what Jonas hopes to accomplish and what I hope to learn. Jonas, I think, would like to gloat. He would like it known that he can loop even me into his plans. He would like even me, even the recluse, scared to use as a lever over True Name if she is to come out of this alive."
 
 "And me."
 
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ The skunk was a long time in answering, staring out into the forest and listenin
 
 Debarre sat, silent. The comment all but demanded silence from him, so rare was any expression of worry from his boyfriend.
 
-"I will be going because if this is to be the end of True Name or whatever she is becoming, then it will be a step towards letting go. It will be an in for me to become independent. If I am to move beyond that which defines me, I would like to know how."
+"I will be going because if this is to be the end of True Name then it will be a step towards letting go. It will be an in for me to become independent. If I am to move beyond that which defines me, I would like to know how."
 
 "Still thinking of cutting your ties? Dropping the clade name?"