update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/qoheleth/Ioan/010.md

@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@ Ioan waited for one of those ebbs in the rhythm of the silence before clearing e
 
 Serene simply shook her head.
 
-Praiseworthy shrugged, though her gestures and expressions took additional work to decode. She was another animal, though of some form different from Dear and Serene. Black fur, white stripes retreating up along her snout and over her head. Thick tail that looked delightfully soft. Many of the clade matched her more closely than they did Dear. "I'm not surprised, really. Not happy, but not surprised."
+Praiseworthy shrugged, looking what Ioan thought might be glum, though her gestures and expressions took additional work to decode. She was another animal, though of some form different from Dear and Serene. Black fur, white stripes retreating up along her snout and over her head. Thick tail that looked delightfully soft. Many of the clade matched her more closely than they did Dear. "I'm not surprised, really. Not happy, but not surprised."
 
 Ioan turned to Dear. "You alright?"
 
@@ -55,9 +55,9 @@ Ioan nodded.
 
 *"Exocortices are a fix, but an iffy one. Do you know why we have them?"*
 
-Ioan and Dears partner shook their heads, while both Serene and Praiseworthy frowned.
+Ioan and Dear's partner shook their heads, while both Serene and Praiseworthy frowned.
 
-*"The origin of the system came from the turmoils of the early twenty-second century, though one could perhaps trace roots further back into the twenty-first. Prior to the system, the 'net on Earth required engaging with through another thing called exocortices. Implants along the spine, with tendrils trailing along nerves."*
+*"The origin of the system came from the lost, from the turmoils of the early twenty-second century, though one could perhaps trace roots further back into the twenty-first. Prior to the system, the 'net on Earth required engaging with through another thing called exocortices. Implants along the spine, with tendrils trailing along nerves."*
 
 Serene and Praiseworthy both reached up to rub at the backs of their necks.
 
@@ -65,11 +65,11 @@ Serene and Praiseworthy both reached up to rub at the backs of their necks.
 
 "You mean they kept the name to refer to something similar?"
 
-Dear shrugged. *"I suppose. All that we experienced in that dream also wound up cached in those implants, and it was that cache that helped the engineers on the early system to contruct the shared dream that is the system today."*
+Dear shrugged. *"I suppose. All that we experienced in that dream also wound up cached in those implants, and it was that cache that helped the engineers on the early system to construct the shared dream that is the system today."*
 
-Ioan ground eir palms against eir slacks. This information, this dump of the past, was doing nothing to quell the anxiety of the hours past. "Right, okay. How are they only an iffy fix to forgetting?"
+Ioan ground eir palms against eir slacks. This information, this dump of the past, was doing nothing to quell the anxiety of the previous hour. "Right, okay. How are they only an iffy fix to forgetting?"
 
-*"You're still stuck with the knowledge that they exist and their inventory, yes? That's why I can't forget **that** the Name exists. I can't forget my origins or that there's an exo containing them. One which I can't forget. Not unless I go through the whole shitty process again --- sorry, Serene, it wasn't pleasant. I could get that bit of knowledge, but then what? I'll have the knowledge that I have an exo that I can't access pointing to something of dire importance. Can you imagine that feeling of lingering dread being a constant factor in life?"*
+*"You're still stuck with the knowledge that they exist and their inventory, yes? That's why I can't forget **that** the Name exists. I can't forget my origins or that there's an exo containing them. One which I can't forget. Not unless I go through the whole shitty process again --- sorry, Serene, it wasn't pleasant. I could forget that bit of knowledge, but then what? I'll have the knowledge that I have an exo that I can't access pointing to something of dire importance. Can you imagine that feeling of lingering dread being a constant factor in life?"*
 
 Ioan shifted, leaning forward to rest eir elbows on eir knees, eir chin in eir hand. Ey sipped eir coffee as ey thought.
 
@@ -79,7 +79,7 @@ Dear's partner, frowned. "Neither do I, fox."
 
 The fennec laughed and shook its head, ears flopping about. *"Trust me, I don't either. I don't think many do. I just think we need death, or something like it, as part of the system. Death. Fear of death. Needs and reasons to survive in the face of an inevitable end."*
 
-"'Something like it'?" asked Praiseworthy.
+""Something like it"?" asked Praiseworthy.
 
 *"We need a way for an individual to end. We also need a way to create new individuals, so perhaps they should be related. Qoheleth called it breeding, but it could just as easily be a way of ending one individual and having them live on as another."*
 

writing/post-self/qoheleth/index.md

@@ -187,7 +187,7 @@ Check when edited
     * [X] Chapter: [Ioan 009](Ioan/009) --- Qoheleth gives his speech, is assassinated
     * [X] Chapter: [Qoheleth 006](Qoheleth/006) --- Assassinated
     * [X] Chapter: [Carter 011](Carter/011) RJ surprised to see Carter there, resists leaving as the sudden aspect of something not being in control is a shock
-    * [O] Chapter: [Ioan 010](Ioan/010) --- Wrapping up with Dear, Serene, Praiseworthy
+    * [X] Chapter: [Ioan 010](Ioan/010) --- Wrapping up with Dear, Serene, Praiseworthy
     * [O] Chapter: [Sasha 003](Sasha/003) --- endless field of dandelions, then suddenly Debarre, pulled back, brought up to speed on what Carter learned about how to rescue lost and the conspiracy
     * [-] Chapter: <!-- [Sasha 004](Sasha/004) - ~~Sasha and Debarre publish evidence, Carter passes to Prakash, spreads like wildfire~~ News stories? Maybe not even necessary.--> (REJECTED given to Carter, plus Sasha's eulogy)
 5. [O] Denouement