update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/remote/codrin/001.md

@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ Arrival.
 
 Arrival and light and noise and a slick, slippery feeling to the air about em.
 
-Codrin stole a few long seconds with eir squinted shut. The light itself was loud, the noise bright. Everything was just slightly off, just slightly wrong.
+Codrin stole a few long seconds with eir eyes squinted shut. The light itself was loud, the noise bright. Everything was just slightly off, just slightly wrong.
 
 And then, those seconds passed, and the noise was less blinding, and when ey opened eir eyes, ey no longer felt deafened, and ey was able to take in the world around em. The floor, the colonnaded walls, the greenery beyond. Tight-fitting stone, slick and polished.
 
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ Rather than eyes, there was a mirrored panel of black, looking more mercury than
 
 To their right stood on two legs a being of similar shape, though far smaller, coming up only to Codrin's breastbone. The longer ey looked, however, the more those similarities began to fall away. Yes, it stood on two powerful legs; yes, its body was canted forward and kept on balance with a thick tail; yes, it had an elongated snout.
 
-However, rather than that supple plastic, it was coated in a scaly hide, washed in oil-sheen colors. Where the firstrate representatives had little in the way of facial features, though, Stolon, ey assumed, almost seemed to have a surfeit. Their eyes were bright and curious, their mouth seemingly ready to a smile --- or some other expression, ey reminded emself, as what appeared to be a smile to humans may not be so to secondrace. They did not have hair, as made sense for a lizard, but they did have a crest of what appeared to be feathers of a sort, or at least massively elongated scales.
+However, rather than that supple plastic, it was coated in a scaly hide, washed in oil-sheen colors. Where the firstrace representatives had little in the way of facial features, though, Stolon, ey assumed, almost seemed to have a surfeit. Their eyes were bright and curious, their mouth seemingly ready to a smile --- or some other expression, ey reminded emself, as what appeared to be a smile to humans may not be so to secondrace. They did not have hair, as made sense for a lizard, but they did have a crest of what appeared to be feathers of a sort, or at least massively elongated scales.
 
 Beside Stolon and standing a head shorter than even them was a creature that reminded em so much of Debarre that ey did a double-take. The resemblance was uncanny: a svelte coat of brown fur with a creamier white starting beneath the chin and heading down over their front --- or at least, ey assumed it continued beneath the thin, silky tunic they were wearing --- and a black-tipped tail behind. Plenty of whiskers, curious eyes.
 
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ True Name: eyes held open defiantly, a grimace on her muzzle showing some intern
 
 Sarah: shocked, startled, curious.
 
-Answers Will Not Help: mid-shout, a splash of black fur splashed up over her cheek, a ghost of a muzzle before her face.
+Answers Will Not Help: mid-shout, a splash of black fur creeping up over her cheek, a ghost of a muzzle before her face.
 
 "What the hell?" ey repeated.
 
@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@ Something about this discursive, almost lazy form of questioning made Codrin fee
 
 Ey said, "I only have a guess as explained by one of their cocladists, that--"
 
-"Cocladists is multiple forms of one individual, anem?"
+"Cocladists is multiple forms of one individual, ka?"
 
 "Yes...uh, anem, correct. One of their cocladists suggested that they might react poorly to the..." Ey trailed off, hunting for the best phrasing. "To the malleability of time. They underwent some experiences in the past regarding time, so I think they're afraid."
 
@@ -114,7 +114,7 @@ Ey nodded and slowly allowed Turun Ko and emself to slip back into common time.
 
 True Name wavered, reaching out a hand to grip at Tycho's sleeve. She remained stubbornly skunk, clinging to that appearance of being in control. "Thank you, Turun Ka," she said, words coming out slowly, spoken through clenched teeth. "Our apologies."
 
-The firstracer bowed, tucking its chin close to its chest. "There is no need to apologize. Allowances granted to those who arrive from new worlds. Stolon will accompany you to discuss further accommodations." It turned to face the rest of the emissaries. "You all may rest and acclimatize in the rest area we have provided for you. We welcome you."
+The firstracer bowed, tucking its chin close to its chest. "There is no need to apologize. Allowances are granted to those who arrive from new worlds. Stolon will accompany you to discuss further accommodations." It turned to face the rest of the emissaries. "You all may rest and acclimatize in the rest area we have provided for you. We welcome you."
 
 Artante Diria bowed at the waist, a gesture so easy and recognizable that Codrin, Tycho, and Sarah all reciprocated more out of habit than anything. 
 
@@ -124,7 +124,7 @@ Codrin hesitated, watching as something happened to bring Why Ask Questions back
 
 "Where are they taking them?" ey asked once ey'd caught up with Artante and the other emissaries.
 
-"There are a few unison rooms available in the compound. They will be given one as quarters."
+"There are several unison rooms available in the compound. They will be given one as quarters."
 
 "I'm guessing those are rooms where time can't move?" Tycho asked.
 
@@ -142,9 +142,12 @@ As ey sat on one of these, playing with eir new-found ability to modulate time,
 
 The astronomer's smile was weak as he leaned in closer, whispering, "Just between us for now, promise?"
 
-Ey frowned, nodded.
+Ey frowned, nodded. "Can you move to fast time? Same as hopping sims or creating things: have the intention of being at a time skew of negative two."
 
-"That's not Why Ask Questions." He looked back toward the door, worry painted on his face. "That's Answers Will Not Help."
+Tycho blinked, looked nonplussed for a moment, then seemed to Codrin to start breathing incredibly rapidly. Ey followed him into fast time.
 
+"This is...strange. Very strange," he said, looking around, back over to where Sarah appeared frozen in the act of sitting on the edge of her bed.
 
+"It really is. Still, this will give you enough privacy to speak freely."
 
+He looked back toward the door, worry painted on his face, and nodded. "I don't think that was Why Ask Questions. That was Answers Will Not Help."