From cda8e583c2a1c10132c4fb053e6c01177b4e512d Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Tue, 13 Sep 2022 22:45:06 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/mitzvot/035.md | 34 ++++++++++++++++---------------- 1 file changed, 17 insertions(+), 17 deletions(-) diff --git a/writing/post-self/mitzvot/035.md b/writing/post-self/mitzvot/035.md index 957c7f3b..2d38c511 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/mitzvot/035.md +++ b/writing/post-self/mitzvot/035.md @@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ Neither True Name nor May could say one way or another when ey'd voiced eir conc The whole day had been scattered for them. May spent much of it glued to eir side as ey did eir best to organize eir notes in eir head for the upcoming meeting. She couldn't seem to pin herself down to one set of feelings, first laughing and joking about beating Zacharias up, then burying her face against eir shoulder and refusing to speak, ears laid flat. -For her part, True Name couldn't seem to stay pinned to any one of her three selves. +For her part, True Name couldn't seem to stay pinned to any one of her three identities. Ey was at least getting more adept at spotting them in her features. There was a bright focus when that of True Name --- the old True Name, that was --- came to the fore. Her expression would become attentive, defaulting to a slight smile and eyebrows (such as they were on a skunk's features) just slightly raised. When that of End Waking showed itself in her, she'd keep her eyes half-lidded, and her gaze was far more attuned to any movement. The rest of her own movements would still, as well. She would walk quieter, more gracefully. She would speak less. @@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ But no, there was something about the Ode clade that just happened to click with Ey didn't know what it was that they saw in em in turn. There was the unspoken matter of the pronouns of the owner of the Name, and, as May had once whispered to em late one night, eir tendency to lean on rumination, on quietness and exactitude, that reminded her of someone she refused to name. Were they so alike, em and whoever had touched Michelle Hadje so long ago? Had ey and Michelle been contemporaries phys-side, would they have wound up in a relationship? Ey had no clue how to ask such a thing of them. -All ey knew is that, as Codrin had put it in a letter, "The Odists loved hard and they loved deep and they loved fast, and it was hard not to become intoxicated beneath all that love." +All ey knew is that, as Codrin had put it in a letter, "The Odists love hard and they love deep and they love fast, and it's hard not to become intoxicated beneath all that love." So, what was ey to do when that of eir partner, of the one ey loved most in the world, shone through in someone else? When that of May rose to prominence in True Name's expression, she was not May. She wasn't May at all. She was of three minds, and none of them were wholly absent whenever one asserted primacy. @@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ There was no discussion whether or not she would be staying with them that night Surprising all three of them, they did manage to get at least some sleep that night. It wasn't *good* sleep, as, at one point or another, each of them woke with a start, but they managed a few hours of dozing. -Once the sky began to lighten, though, they pulled themselves blearily out of bed, Ioan making four mugs of coffee --- two black, two sweet and milky --- so that they could troop back out onto the plain and wake End Waking up, or, as it turned out, greet him at the small fire he'd started, and offer him a cup of coffee. +Once the sky began to lighten, though, they pulled themselves blearily out of bed, Ioan making four mugs of coffee --- two black, two sweet and milky --- so that they could troop back out onto the plain and wake End Waking up --- or, as it turned out, greet him at the small fire he'd started --- and offer him a cup of coffee. "There is no more rehearsing to be done," he said, once they'd shed some of their grogginess. "We risk practice making permanent, at this point. All we can do is hope to remain as centered as possible throughout." @@ -90,13 +90,13 @@ True Name had talked em through the stanza and their roles beforehand, at least. Ey knew well that May had been focused on swaying individual hearts and minds toward a cause that initially had been True Name's, and then later simply shaped by her as best as could be managed. -End Waking had been instrumental in tracking, understanding, and to whatever level possible, influencing financial markets phys-side, though he'd admitted to Ioan, one night out on the plain, that the chances that he'd actually had any effect on the markets was astoundingly low and that the financial trajectory had likely been set by forces larger than they could manage --- at least, that was the hope that had kept him going. +End Waking had been instrumental in tracking, understanding, and to whatever level possible, influencing financial markets phys-side, though he'd admitted to Ioan, one night out on the plain, that the chances that he'd actually had a dramatic effect on the markets was astoundingly low and that the financial trajectory had likely been set by forces larger than they could manage --- at least, that was the hope that had kept him going. Ey knew the two 'Why's from the history: Why Ask Questions, Here At The End Of All Things was the frightfully friendly crowd-rouser who had worked with groups of individuals sys-side, while Why Ask Questions When The Answers Will Not Help had focused on similar tactics phys-side. However, given that her task was limited to text, she seemed notably out of her element in in-person interactions, coming off as petty and cruel as often as funny and sarcastic. The Only Time I Dream Is When I Need An Answer had acted as a manager, scheduler, and clerk for the enterprise. Wickedly intelligent, she had done more than block in times for meetings; she had organized meetings between precisely the right individuals at precisely the right times. -To Know One's True Name Is To Know God had settled firmly into data analysis, collecting both the raw data that she could from the perisystem feeds and the net phys-side as well as the information collected by her cocladists and the Jonases. She was a being of reports. +To Know One's True Name Is To Know God had settled comfortably into data analysis, collecting both the raw data that she could from the perisystem feeds and the net phys-side as well as the information collected by her cocladists and the Jonases. She was a being of reports. To Know God Is To Answer Unasked Questions had done her best to specialize in the fields of information and game theory, but this had more often come down to simple information security and hygiene. She decided where and how far information traveled. @@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ True Name made that setting-aside gesture, as though tabling the topic for the m "What--" -"You say that you are part of the stanza, do you not?" The Only Time I Dream said. +"You say that you are part of the stanza, do you not?" The Only Time I Dream, the manager of the enterprise, said. "I am, but--" @@ -148,7 +148,7 @@ Jonas laughed, "Just shut up, Zacharias." "No," the fox growled, his whiskers all abristle and claws digging at the tabletop. "I played my role, but that does not mean that I am some disposable Judas here. A role is as much the actor as it is-- *stop!*" -There was a loud thump beneath the table, though this time, Zacharias appeared to have pulled his foot away in time to keep his toes from being stomped on, as he instead pushed himself away from the table and to his feet. A brief flicker of something akin to rage flashed across Jonas's face, but was quickly replaced by that bright, friendly grin. +There was a loud thump beneath the table, though this time, Zacharias appeared to have pulled his foot away in time to keep his toes from being stomped on, as he instead pushed himself away from the table and to his feet. A brief flicker of ungrounded rage flashed across Jonas's face, but was quickly replaced by that bright, friendly grin. "Fine, fuck you too, then." @@ -156,9 +156,9 @@ There was no signal --- or if there was, Ioan missed it --- for Guōweī to step What happened next happened almost too quickly for em to comprehend. Zacharias shouted, but the cry was cut off in a muffled *oomf* as an instance of May appeared near him, almost totally overlapping the space that he'd occupied. The collision algos knocked him backwards with enough force to slam him against the door, leaving him to crumple to the floor. -Guōweī's palm came down flat against May's shoulder, but there was no time to see whether or not the virus would affect an instance so far diverged, as that instance of her quit and was immediately replaced with another one, this overlapping the assassin's space, knocking him back nearly a meter, only for the skunk to fork again to repeat the maneuver. With the momentum already in play, this practically sent the man flying, his head cracking against the wall hard enough to leave a sizeable dent in the drywall. +Guōweī's palm came down flat against May's shoulder, but there was no time to see whether or not the virus would affect an instance so far diverged, as that instance of her quit and was immediately replaced with another one, this overlapping the assassin's space, knocking him back nearly a meter, only for the skunk to fork again to repeat the maneuver. With the momentum already in play, this sent the man flying, his head cracking against the wall hard enough to leave a sizeable dent in the drywall. -And then it was over. Zacharias's yell faltered, and he stared up, wide eyed, with his gaze darting between Jonas and the remaining instance of May. The latter had lurched away, looking more disgusted than startled. +And then it was over. Zacharias's yell faltered, and he stared up, wide eyed, with his gaze darting between Jonas and the remaining instance of May. Jonas had lurched away, looking more disgusted than startled. "Get the fuck out of here," the instance of May growled. "And if I ever, *ever* see you again, you had better believe that I will take you out myself." @@ -242,7 +242,7 @@ He waved his hand imperiously. "And I'm getting bored now. I'm surprised you're "Jonas," When I Do Not Remember murmured, her voice a low warning. He only grinned. -She sighed. "Right. So now you...what, want me to look different? Sound different? I am ready to commit to staying out of the business. You want me to act the part or something? Your terms." +True Name sighed. "Right. So now you...what, want me to look different? Sound different? I am ready to commit to staying out of the business. You want me to act the part or something? Your terms." "You need to go away, True Name. I don't fucking care *how.* You make it happen or I will." @@ -302,7 +302,7 @@ All of the rest of the Odists, however, were shouting. None of them looked pleas "No, I will not." -"Shut the fuck up, When I Dream," Jonas shouted. "All of you, shut the fuck up." He turned to Sasha and grinned icily. "You always were a little snot. You want to be Sasha? You want to dive back into mediocrity and wear your weakness like a badge? Please, by all means, be my guest. Beg for pity again. Hunt down all your little friends who kept you feeling just bad enough that they could baby you without letting you think you were their plaything." +"Shut the fuck up, When I Dream," Jonas shouted. "All of you, shut the fuck up." He turned to Sasha and grinned icily, eyes overbright. "You always were a little snot. You want to be Sasha? You want to dive back into mediocrity and wear your weakness like a badge? Please, by all means, be my guest. Beg for pity again. Hunt down all your little friends who kept you feeling just bad enough that they could baby you without letting you think you were their plaything." At this, most of the stanza bridled, and there were a few louder murmurings. @@ -350,7 +350,7 @@ Ioan shook eir head, dizzy. "This is what you looked like before uploading?" "What my --- *our* --- av looked like, yes, all except the change to a spotted skunk. They always felt too flashy, back then, and I just wanted to look like myself offline except a furry. Completely unremarkable and a species no one likes." -"The outfit was my suggestion," End Waking said. "It always was our favorite, but for some reason, we never brought it with us to the System, and I knew the rest of the stanza would pick up on that." +"The outfit was my suggestion," End Waking said. "It always was our favorite, but for some reason, we never brought it with us to the System, and I knew the rest of the stanza would pick up on that quite easily." Sasha nodded. @@ -376,7 +376,7 @@ Ioan blinked, hesitated, then continued. "May and...E.W. merged down and you...I "And how is it that this pisses off Jonas?" Ey snorted. "He certainly sounded pissed." -Sasha knelt across from Ioan, followed shortly by E.W. and May to either side of em, May summoning up plates and cutting thick slices of cake. It was strange to see so many smiles, still strange to see May so happy around her down-tree instance and stranger still to see E.W. even near her. +Sasha knelt across from Ioan, followed shortly by E.W. and May to either side of em, May summoning up plates and cutting thick slices of cake. It was strange to see so many smiles, still strange to see May so happy around her down-tree instance and stranger still to see E.W. even in the same sim. "What Jonas was expecting was for me to remain True Name in everything except form and name," she said. "He was expecting someone deeply cowed by his political genius. And do not underestimate him, he *is* still a genius. He felt that he had won his spot as rightful leader of Lagrange, if such a thing can even be said to exist. He thought that he had beaten me down and left me either unable to continue or unwilling to try." @@ -384,7 +384,7 @@ May added, "I suspect that he is starting to crack." Ioan nodded. -"Perhaps," Sasha said. "He has not seemed grounded in many years, but again, do not underestimate him." +"Perhaps," Sasha said. "He has not seemed fully grounded in many years, but again, do not underestimate him." Ioan jumped at a brief sensorium ping, a request to enter, followed shortly by Debarre popping into existence behind May, who had apparently admitted him. "What was so urgent that you pulled me away from lunch and..." he trailed off, squinting at this new skunk. "Who...but you're...what?" @@ -428,7 +428,7 @@ At the affectionate *my dear*, the weasel jolted back. "You have enough of E.W. in you, you mean." -She nodded. "And May." +She nodded. "I...well, yeah. Not from you." He hesitated, eyes averted, and added, "Please." @@ -464,7 +464,7 @@ Ey shook eir head. Ey was feeling very far behind but needed to understand if ey "So he will just leave you alone?" -"He answers to his desire for power, I answer only to my desire for stability and continuity. In that I remain earnest in my conviction," she said by way of answer. "Even that of me which is E.W. and May. E.W. cannot love his forest if politics overwhelm his existence. May cannot hold onto her devotion. These things I know." +"He will have to if he wishes to remain in his position. He answers to his desire for power, I answer only to my desire for stability and continuity. In that I remain earnest in my conviction," she said by way of answer. "Even that of me which is E.W. and May. E.W. cannot love his forest if politics overwhelm his existence. May cannot hold onto her devotion. These things I know." May nodded slowly. "You are not wrong. I would not have used such words, but you are not wrong." @@ -472,7 +472,7 @@ May nodded slowly. "You are not wrong. I would not have used such words, but you "So," Debarre said slowly. "When did you realize this might even work?" -"It was a chance I took. One that might have failed, yes, but a good chance. It was that comment about me and you not being fit to lead. Jonas had a view of me that was as inaccurate as it was easy to use against him. I have my political acumen and you have your own small group." +"It was a chance I took. One that might have failed, yes, but a good chance. It was that comment about you and Michelle not being fit to lead. Jonas had a view of me that was as inaccurate as it was easy to use against him. I have my political acumen and you have your own small group." Ioan watched Debarre stiffen, making note of his response. It didn't feel like the type of thing to include in the story, but it did make rather a lot of the weasel's words and actions make more sense.