update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/004.md

@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ The three bowed politely in turn.
 
 *"Please."* Dear sounded its usual self, Codrin was pleased to note. No sourness or anger colored its tone. While the dark was pleasant, ey wished for at least light enough to see Dear's expression. As far as ey knew, the fox hadn't seen the skunk in two decades, not since their Death Day party. Certainly not since the *History* had come out.
 
-At the table, introductions were made. Tycho remained as nervous as he had before, but ey was happy to see that he had at least gotten some sleep at some point, and none of the exhaustion that had gnawed at him last they spoke was evident.
+At the table, introductions were made. Tycho remained as nervous as he'd been before, but ey was happy to see that he had at least gotten some sleep at some point, and none of the exhaustion that had so visibly gnawed at him when last they spoke was evident.
 
 Why Ask Questions looked much as the Odists that resembled Michelle did, though far happier and more ebullient than any Codrin had met. She was, as Codrin#Pollux had described her two decades previous, perilously friendly, comfortably casual, and a shithead. Ey liked her immensely. "Delighted to meet you all. Codrin, nice to meet you face to face on this LV. And Dear, how long has it been?"
 
@@ -22,15 +22,17 @@ The fox grinned, nodded its head to her. *"I believe nigh on sixty years. You ar
 
 "As are you! Your other partner did not wish to join us?"
 
-In the light of the candle, Codrin watched as the fox's grin faltered, and ey suspected that it was taking it a good amount of energy to maintain a pleasant façade for dinner. *"They were not able to make it, no, but they send their best."*
+In the light of the candle, Codrin watched the fox's grin falter, and ey suspected that it was taking it a good amount of energy to maintain a pleasant façade for dinner. *"They were not able to make it, no, but they send their best."*
 
-They had not. The discussion veered perilously close to an argument when Dear stated that it would be joining Codrin.
+They had not.
+
+The discussion veered perilously close to an argument when Dear stated that it would be joining Codrin.
 
 "Dear, you've had nothing positive to say about True Name basically ever. Why the hell are you going to this?" they had asked toward the end.
 
-*"Because I want to learn more if I can."* It had paused, then added quietly, *"And because Codrin is going and I want to be by eir side, if only as a fork."*
+*"Because I want to learn more if I can."* It had paused, then added more quietly, *"And because Codrin is going and I want to be by eir side, if only as a fork."*
 
-Their partner had wilted and nodded. "That, at least I can understand. I love you both, is all, and I'm not comfortable with either True Name or her up-tree instance. I want you to be careful, but I suppose you're right. Having the two of you there makes me feel a little better than it being just Codrin."
+Their partner had wilted and nodded. "That, at least I can understand. I love you both, is all, and I'm not comfortable with either True Name or her up-tree instance. I want you to be careful, but I suppose you're right. Having the two of you there makes me feel a little better than it being just Codrin, at least."
 
 Ey shook away the lingering rumination and gratefully accepted a glass of wine that Dear offered. The skunk had been pouring one for everyone, and ey supposed that wine might help make the evening flow more smoothly.
 
@@ -68,7 +70,7 @@ Ey frowned. "Should I not have?"
 
 True Name nodded. "I understand. I harbor my own fears. We have to rely on the fact that all of the tests of the DMZ passed and that there really is no way for the border to be crossed. May Then My Name tested it quite thoroughly."
 
-"Yeah, if you say so. From what Tycho#Artemis sent me, it sounds like it'll be a trade, too."
+"If you say so. From what Tycho#Artemis sent me, it sounds like it'll be a trade, too."
 
 "A trade," Sarah said thoughtfully. "Why, do you think?"
 
@@ -100,7 +102,7 @@ Silence, minus a pop from the candle flame in the center of the table. Codrin re
 
 "I just mean...how sure are we that this signal is real? How sure are we that it's coming from the Dreamer Module and thus outside of Castor?" He shrugged, still looking cowed. "I've been worried about the whole thing since it showed up, but the more I think about how long we've been going and all the risks involved, what's the probability that it's just us dreaming that there are aliens out there?"
 
-The silence fell once more, and Codrin imagined True Name and Why Ask Questions both sending off rapid-fire sensorium messages.
+The silence fell once more, and Codrin imagined True Name and Why Ask Questions both sending off rapid-fire sensorium messages. Ey caught a glint of excitement in Dear's eyes. Ey suspected it'd have plenty to say before long.
 
 "It is not zero," True Name said after nearly a minute. "Low, yes, but it is not zero."
 
@@ -128,7 +130,7 @@ Ey sat up straighter and thought for a moment. Ey was feeling quite a lot. Ey wa
 
 Ey was incredibly happy that Dear had decided to join em at dinner.
 
-Not all of those felt like things that ey could share, so ey instead settled for a safer answer. "I'm feeling excited and nervous both. I'm excited because this is another unprecedented thing that I get the chance to see, and I'm nervous because that very unprecedented nature means that I have no foreknowledge to lean on. I'll be working in the dark as the...what did they call it? Recorder?"
+Not all of those felt like things that ey could share, so ey settled for a safer answer. "I'm feeling excited and nervous both. I'm excited because this is another unprecedented thing that I get the chance to see, and I'm nervous because that very unprecedented nature means that I have no foreknowledge to lean on. I'll be working in the dark as the...what did they call it? Recorder?"
 
 Dear reached over and took one of eir hands in its paw. *"You have lived through several unprecedented events, my dear. How does this one differ?"*
 
@@ -168,6 +170,6 @@ They all laughed once again, raising their glasses toward the single flame in th
 
 "Please! Eat. Enjoy. I did not make it, but you may pretend I did if you would like to bolster my ego."
 
-The self-deprecating comment was delivered so easily that Codrin found emself laughing even before realising it.
+The self-deprecating comment was delivered so easily that Codrin found emself laughing even before realizing it.
 
 "No more shop talk until dessert," Why Ask Questions added. "Or I will have Tycho bounce you from the sim. There is lasagna, and I will not have you spoiling that."

writing/post-self/neviim/local/tycho/005.md

@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ True Name smiled. "I know the feeling, yes. It is that desire to know more, yet
 
 She laughed, nodded. "Of course, Tycho. You are always welcome to ask to do something other than what you are doing. We would just request that you fork to do so. However, since this is not your area of expertise, I am sure that Answers Will Not Help will be willing to give you, say, two hours to work on something else if it will also serve to increase our knowledge of the situation. One moment, please."
 
-There was moment of silence as True Name stood at the entrance to the central work area, sipping her coffee. After a moment, Answers Will Not Help showed up before her.
+There was moment of silence as True Name stood at the entrance to the central work area, sipping --- or, well, lapping at --- her coffee. After a moment, Answers Will Not Help showed up before her.
 
 "Morning, dear," she said. "Everything alright?"
 
@@ -58,15 +58,15 @@ The woman laughed and nodded. "Oh, by all means. We will get by without him for
 
 He nodded.
 
-After a minute or two, another woman stepped into the sim, looking almost-but-not-quite identical to Answers Will Not Help. Perhaps a long-lived fork, though the ebullience was toned down somewhat. Still the same grin --- but kinder. Still the casual dress --- but more of a weekend outfit. "Tycho Brahe, yes? True Name says I will be helping you out on writing a letter."
+After a minute or two, another woman stepped into the sim, looking almost-but-not-quite identical to Answers Will Not Help. Perhaps a long-lived fork? Though the ebullience was toned down somewhat. Still the same grin --- but kinder. Still the casual dress --- but more of a weekend outfit. "Tycho Brahe, yes? True Name says I will be helping you out on writing a letter."
 
 "Oh, uh," he frowned. "I guess so. Answers Will Not Help?"
 
 She waved her hand in a non-answer, instead beckoning him over to another door along the wall. "Come on. Let us get this going. I am excited to hear what you come up with."
 
-True Name raised her coffee cup to him and smile. "Good luck, Tycho. Do keep in touch."
+True Name raised her coffee cup to him and smiles. "Good luck, Tycho. Do keep in touch."
 
-The office was much smaller than the conference room where he'd initially met Sovanna and Dr. Verda. They sat on opposite sides of a desk, where the Odist swiped into existence two notepads and two pens. "Alright, so I have been told that you had a dream. Tell me about it."
+The office was much smaller than the conference room where he'd initially met Sovanna and Dr. Verda. They sat on opposite sides of a desk, where the Odist swiped two notepads and two pens into existence. "Alright, so I have been told that you had a dream. Tell me about it."
 
 As he did, she jotted down details on her own notepads, occasionally asking him questions --- did he remember what the air smelled like? Were there human voices as well? Why were you anxious about being found out? --- and though it felt silly at first, he realized that she had teased out greater details of what it was that his dreaming mind was curious about.