update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/qoheleth/Carter/001-b.md

@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 %title Dr Carter Ramirez --- 2112
 :writing:novel:chapter:fiction:scifi:post-self:qoheleth:
 
-The morning's alarm startled her awake.
+The morning's alarm startled Carter awake.
 
 Disorientation --- when had she fallen asleep? There seemed to be no line delineating squirming under the covers and the buzz of her phone and faint tingle along her implants.
 
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@ It was her phone, as always, that brought her back to reality. It's mere presenc
 
 > Ramirez
 >
-> Another, this time with scans from before the incident. Another furry, you don't think that's got to do with it, do you :p
+> New case\, this time with scans from before the incident. Another furry, you don't think that's got to do with it, do you :p
 >
 > S
 

writing/post-self/qoheleth/RJ/004-a.md

@@ -47,11 +47,11 @@ Ey called up Sasha's deck.
    dad in govt, mother stays home
   --------------------------------
 
-And on it went for nearly a dozen cards. Each had its own cover embossed with a few lines of type, each containing upwards of a gig of information culled from various sources, doubtless of varied quality.
+And on it went for nearly a dozen cards. Each had its own cover embossed with a few lines of type, each containing upwards of a terabyte of information culled from various sources, doubtless of varied quality.
 
 RJ flipped through each, gleaning what ey could from a quick scan, before collapsing the deck once more and sitting back to think. Nothing in there seemed new. Nothing out of place. Ey had only received the deck last night, and yet nothing felt like it had been revealed, uncovered.
 
-Ey knew of the lost, of course, and the name Ramirez was commonly tied with the hundred or so cases that had cropped up over the years. The family...no, nothing to be gained there, at least not that had already been tried by Debarre. And again, there was the problem of being a random nobody in the UK: no one known, no one with power.
+Ey knew of the lost, of course, and the name Ramirez was commonly tied with the few hundred or so cases that had cropped up over the years. The family...no, nothing to be gained there, at least not that had already been tried by Debarre. And again, there was the problem of being a random nobody in the UK: no one known, no one with power.
 
 None of the rest of the cards carried any real significance to em.
 
@@ -77,7 +77,9 @@ RJ reached to swipe the notification away. Ey had very little stake in the uncom
 
 Ey hastily shuffled back through the *Cicero Lost* deck until coming up with the 'recent net activity' card and pulled up the contents. It took a few moments to remember how to sort tabular data --- database classes in high school so long ago --- but eventually, ey got the table sorted around the activity type. Ey scrolled rapidly through the list until ey got to the list of Direct Democracy Representative entries.
 
-There was the connection. The one thing that RJ and Cicero had was their arguments over politics. Not just politics, but the worthiness of the current political system in all of its facets. Arguments upon arguments upon arguments, fennec fox and tabby cat with their ceaseless bickering in the Crown Pub.
+There was the connection.
+
+The one thing that RJ and Cicero had was their arguments over politics. Not just politics, but the worthiness of the current political system in all of its facets. Arguments upon arguments upon arguments, fennec fox and tabby cat with their ceaseless bickering in the Crown Pub.
 
 RJ was firmly on the left, but ey felt the representative democracy combined with the DDR was a pretty good system. Not great, sure. It was *fine*. It *worked*. To ask for more from a political system was to invite further troubles like those from the preceding century.
 
@@ -111,9 +113,9 @@ Rather than finishing the thought out loud, ey dashed off a summary in the notes
 
 The tea had gone cold long ago, but ey downed it all the same. Ey'd spent longer than planned plowing through the data the hard way and ey risked being late if ey didn't start hustling.
 
-It was nearing dusk by the time ey left, the suit newly brushed and ironed, the gloves newly washed, the RJ newly shaven.
+It was nearing dusk by the time ey left, the tux newly brushed and ironed, the gloves newly washed, the RJ newly shaven.
 
-On the way back to the tube station, ey stopped by a Thai counter and picked up a take-away container of noodles for the night. Ey made it halfway through the container before the rancid belch of station wind suggested ey pack it away before heading down to the platform.
+On the way back to the tube station, ey stopped by a Thai counter and picked up some take-away noodles for the night. Ey made it halfway through the container before the rancid belch of station wind suggested ey pack it away before heading down to the platform.
 
 Throughout the ride to Soho, RJ's mind continued prowling through the data in Sasha and Debarre's deck. Ey kept mulling over that surreal number of credits. Just how much social currency was bound up within the reputation market of the DDR credit system?