update from sparkleup

writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/prequel.md

@@ -9,11 +9,11 @@ The story of Dee leaving seminary
     * [o] Dee studying, head overfull
     * [o] Prayer
     * [o] A late night walk and conversation with God
-    * [.] Decides to leave
-* [ ] Act 2
-    * [ ] Meets with advisor (Rev Dr Borenson)
+    * [o] Decides to leave
+* [.] Act 2
+    * [o] Confesses
     * [ ] Prayer
-    * [ ] Mentions leaving, Father Borenson is not surprised
+    * [ ] Mentions leaving to advisor, Father Borenson is not surprised
     * [ ] Conversation to try and figure out why without asking straight out 
 * [ ] Act 3
     * [ ] Left kind of dumbstruck, doesn't know how to move on
@@ -54,11 +54,15 @@ Here, at last, he could look up and see the stars, could drink in God's majesty,
 
 He could walk and he could pray.
 
-<!-- Psalm 88 -->
-*O Lord, God of my salvation, when, at night, I cry out in your presence, let my prayer come before you, incline your ear to my cry...*
-<!-- Continue, expand with him praying as he walks -->
+*Come, Holy Spirit, Divine Creator, true source of light and fountain of wisdom! Pour forth your brilliance upon my dense intellect...*
 
-Dee made it halfway through the psalm before stopping there at the north end of the quad.
+<!-- more Dee -->
+
+*...dissipate the darkness which covers me, that of sin and ignorance. Grant me a penetrating mind to understand...*
+
+<!-- more Dee -->
+
+*...a retentive memory, method and ease in learning, the lucidity to comprehend, and abundant grace...abundant grace in expressing myself...*
 
 He couldn't do it. He couldn't go back to his room just yet. All it held was his bed, his books, his aging laptop. Too-yellow lights, fourth-hand furniture, chipped paint.
 
@@ -88,7 +92,7 @@ Other than the soft sounds of breathing and the barest hint of vulpine beneath t
 
 "I see. Do you doubt in our Lord Jesus Christ?"
 
-"No, nor do I doubt in God the Father or the Holy Spirit. I find myself doubting, uh...I find myself doubting the church and my role in it."
+"No, nor do I doubt in God the Father or the Holy Spirit, nor the Mother of God. I find myself doubting, uh...I find myself doubting the church and my role in it."
 
 "What about the church do you doubt, if your faith is solid?"
 
@@ -106,4 +110,18 @@ There was a pause, and then, "Alright, I will ask you to say three Our Fathers f
 
 Dee splayed his ears, chagrined, and bowed his head. "Thank you, Father. O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins..."
 
-With the final *go in piece* still ringing in his ears, with the tips of his fingers still humming from crossing himself, with the hot flush of embarrassment still pulling at his cheeks, Dee stepped from the confessional and blinked rapidly. He took two quick, grounding breaths, and then walked from the chapel.
+With the final *go in piece* still ringing in his ears, with the tips of his fingers still humming from crossing himself, with the hot flush of embarrassment still pulling at his cheeks, Dee stepped from the confessional and blinked rapidly. He took two quick, grounding breaths, and then walked from the abbey.
+
+*I do not want to be here.*
+
+Outside Dee walked slowly to one of the concrete blocks that served as benches and sat, resting his face in his paws. If he could not see the stars, if he had only concrete and paving stones before him, then if he wanted to pray, he had to block out his sight. It was all too much. He would find himself tracing the paving stones, or the catenary arc of the contemporary entrance to St. John's.
+
+<!-- Psalm 130 -->
+*Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord. Lord, hear my voice! Let yours ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications...*
+<!-- Continue, expand with him praying as he thinks -->
+
+He was not ready yet. Not ready for his penitential *patres nostri*. Not ready to go see his advisor. He didn't feel ready for anything.
+
+*If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you so that you may be revered...*
+
+