update from sparkleup
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%title Woo, huzzah, and all that jazz.
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%date 2002-08-07 20:54:11
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Lookie, an LJ. :o)
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%title Alright..
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%date 2002-08-08 00:06:28
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Now that the initial elation is over, I'll actually write something. I don't mean to make this journal very personal, so you probably won't find much about me on here, which is good, 'cause I'm awfully boring. Most of what I'll post here is code snippets, ideas for projects, and finished projects. Getting right to the point..
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<strong>Nanon</strong> - project in progress - http://ranna.bolognia.net/cgi-bin/dirlist.pl/nanoen/
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I have the notes up, and I started a program to display everything all pretty-like, but Louis made me decide to write a formal Grammar for it. It's currently being done in LaTeX, but I'm kinda rusty at that, so it may be a while. As for the pretty display program..
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<strong>RF!P CM - Content Manager</strong> - idea - no url
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Perl, of course. Uses a mixture of <code>$ENV{'PATH_INFO'}</code> and CGI to load subroutines and deal with files of different types (perhaps based on extension?). This might also do well for some sort of front end for..
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<strong>FoxFe</strong> - project in progress - http://ranna.bolognia.net/cgi-bin/dirlist.pl/available/in-progress/ffcode
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Bigass perl story server that I've been working on for eternity (sorry 'Leah). It kinda works.. only not.. and it doesn't have any frontends, except for one that I started in VB. It's purrrrddyyyy....
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%title Quick note...
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%date 2002-08-08 03:55:06
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Got the LJ pages on my site working, so.. neat. On the side bar there's a LJ Events section with the subjects from the last 10 as links that lead to the individual entries, along with links to the events page with the last 10 in full and soon links to the calendar and whatever. Y'know.. copying and such..
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%title Concerning the Content Manager.
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%date 2002-08-09 20:22:13
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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First of all, it needs a good name. I don't want to just call it 'RF!P Manager' or anything, and I've pretty much exhausted adding 'Fox' to the front of my project names.. Oh well. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.
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The actual content managing program would be pretty short; all it would have to do is read in a file containing a list of extensions and the plugin associated with them, then read in the extension file and eval it with either the name of the file or a filehandle passed to it (perhaps open to a scalar filehandle, so you have the filename, too, and don't have to access <code>$ENV{'PATH_INFO'}</code> all the time) along with the CGI handler (add <code>$ENV{'PATH_INFO'}</code> args to CGI params).
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An example url would be ranna.bolognia.net/man/addtable.atm, which is just an html file that requires the user to be logged in to access (Admin::HTML). The atm file has a form who's action url is /man/addtable.adm, where adm is aliased to the function Admin::Admin which requires a password. The addtable would create an SQL file with the suffix .asql and link to it. The extension .asql is aliased to Admin::SQL, which would decide whether to <code>$dbh->do()</code> or <code>$sth = $dbh->prepare(); ...</code> it, and require a password in the process.
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/man alone would have a default action to parse (<code>$action = $ENV{'PATH_INFO'} || "/index.html";</code>). /man/.ext would dump information about the extension 'ext' (a third field in the config file? <code>extension subroutine info-file</code>)
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An idea for a configuration file:
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<code># Admin types:
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.ah?tml? Admin::HTML ahtml.nfo
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.adm Admin::Admin admin.nfo
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.asql Admin::SQL asql.nfo
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# Syntax highlighting:
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.(pl|c|cc|tex|java) Syntax syntax.nfo
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# LiveJournal:
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.lj LiveJournal lj.nfo
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# Info and POD files:
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.(nfo|pod) POD2HTML nfopod.nfo</code>
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%title Heh. x.x
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%date 2002-08-09 20:39:53
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Alright, got a name and an image for the content manager: <img alt="DocMan!" src="http://ranna.bolognia.net/images/docman.png"/>
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%title Another type for DocMan.
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%date 2002-08-11 23:36:01
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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.ctex LaTeX::2HTML latex2html.nfo
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Actually the name of a dir with the compiled (to html) latex files in it. Pretties them up a bit and iterates the links nicely (up, down, previous, next)
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Perhaps I should actually get to to work on DocMan.. before school starts...
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%title After reading XML in a Nutshell...
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%date 2002-08-13 02:07:22
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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<strong>latex2xml</strong> - project in progress -
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This should be fairly easy to do, as long as we can figure out how to convert the images. I downloaded the latex2html source to help me a bit. Basically, just convert the LaTeX file into xml, and distribute with the package an xslt2html.xsl, xslt2xsl-fo.xsl, and latex2html.css file to deal with these things. The output from xslt2xsl-fo.xsl can be converted into a PDF, straight TeX (and then to dvi, if that's absolutely necessary), or PS with java on the commandline. Besides, then DocMan can deal with a better LaTeX converter, without random images popping up.
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<strong>RFP.pm redone</strong> - finished project - http://ranna.bolognia.net/available/in-progress/docman/RFP.pm
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Now it has different styles supported: normal (current), minimalist (http://ranna.bolognia.net/minimalist), greenery (http://ranna.bolognia.net/greenery), printable version, text/plain, and application/octet-stream.
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%title [no subject]
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%date 2002-08-13 19:09:13
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Heh, I just realized that there's a PHP executeable (which makes sense 9.9), so I can add another type. Also thinking of doing this for other languages. Not like it's hard or anything.
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%title Yarr..
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%date 2002-08-16 21:15:21
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Babylonia's down, probably for the weekend. Fucky.
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Anyway, got some ideas for indexing my site with graphs using <em>dot</em> or <em>neato</em> (though probably dot, since not all links are bidirectional. This, however, would be trivial to fix once the origional graph is made. Once a file is added or edited, a revision program could be run to put a 'pages that link to this page' section in the document). Also thinking about adding a Rampancy .dme.
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The Syntax highlighter is coming along fine. Or.. it was until babylonia went down. The problem is that I'm using Parse::RecDescent's version of BNF for the syntax files, and that mows right through \n's, so it's turning into a sort of 'tidy' program that indents and spaces everything nicely. Maybe. It also works as a validator, either highlighting in red(reversevid()) or not highlighting at all anything that doesn't match a rule. <a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/available/in-progress/syn/xml.syn" target="_blank">Here</a>'s a syntax file, even though you won't be able to see until babylonia gets back up.
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I miss Andrew.
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%title Recipe idea, perhaps.
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%date 2002-08-17 17:30:33
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Back when my mom used to cook chicken for me, even though she didn't eat it, I'd put mild Caesar salad dressing on it as seasoning. It was pretty damn good, too. Maybe one day when I'm bored, I could try and make a recipe for it. Probably sear and steam the chicken in chicken broth with a bit of rosemary and lemon juice or something, then when it's about half cooked, take out some of the broth and add some Caesar dressing. Turn it off and let it cool a bit, save the sauce, and bake the chicken the rest of the way, then serve it with a thickened version of the sauce. Or maybe just season the chicken and bake it, making the sauce separately. *shrug* Would be good with rice pilaf and potatoes.
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Anyway, whatever.
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Big B is still down. Screwy.
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%title Fine. I'll do it too.
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%date 2002-08-17 18:07:03
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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You are <b>42%</b> geek<br/>
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<img align="left" height="170" src="http://www.thudfactor.com/images/geekquiz/boy_25x50.jpg" width="120"/>You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.<br clear="all"/>
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<blockquote>
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<b>Normal:</b> Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.<br/><br/>
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<b>You [to Geek]:</b> We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!<br/><br/>
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<b>Geek [to You]:</b> I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!<br/><br/>
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<b>You [to Normal]:</b> He wants to know if he gets overtime.<br/><br/></blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.thudfactor.com/geekquiz.php">Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com</a></p>
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%title Wish List.
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%date 2002-08-17 20:48:34
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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CDs:
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Alamaailman Vasarat
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Bach - Mass in Bm
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Marcy Playground
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Byrd - The Three Masses
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Amon Tobin
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Books:
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From A to B and Back Again: The Philosophy of Andy Warhol
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The Portrait of Dorian Gray
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Mein Kampf
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The Return of the King
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Movies:
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Last Night
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The Ring
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Lord of the Rings series (when it comes out, of course)
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Snatch
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%title [no subject]
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%date 2002-08-19 04:11:53
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Rar.. haven't slept tonight.. miss Shanerak...
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%title Schedule
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%date 2002-08-20 06:57:54
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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<div align="center"><table border="1" width="90%"><tr><th><strong>First Semester</strong></th><th><strong>Second Semester</strong></th></tr><tr><td>American Lit. & Comp.<br/>Roitz</td><td>American Lit. & Comp.<br/>Roitz, Carla</td></tr><tr><td>Issues in Health<br/>Briggs, MaryAnn</td><td>
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<em>Free</em></td></tr><tr><td>Music Theory 1<br/>Keller, Jim</td><td><em>Free</em></td></tr><tr><td>Latin 2<br/>Gibert, Lynn</td><td>Latin 2<br/>Gibert, Lynn</td></tr><tr><td>Festival Choir<br/>Revier, Ron</td><td>Festival Choir<br/>Revier, Ron</td></tr><tr><td>Chemistry<br/>Coon, <em>???</em></td><td>Chemistry<br/>Coon, <em>???</em></td></tr><tr><td>Algebra 2<br/>Fick, <em>???</em></td><td>Algebra 2<br/>Fick, <em>???</em></td></tr><tr><td>Regional World History<br/>Carter, <em>???</em></td><td>Regional World History<br/>Carter, <em>???</em></td></tr></table></div>
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%title Calligraphy
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%date 2002-08-21 19:13:23
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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I'll do your name up all <a href="http://pseudomuck.ath.cx/calligraphy">pretty-like</a> if you ask me nicely.
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%title School, another project, and concerts.
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%date 2002-08-29 19:14:38
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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School started. It sucks. I hate it. Except for choir, music theory, and latin. Aarrr. Moodswings started up again, so trying to do something about that in health class. I'm supposed to meditate or relax every day. I won't post much about my moods, as I think LiveJournal has plenty of that already, but I'll record my progress.
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<strong>Tree of Life</strong> - project in progress - http://ranna.bolognia.net/cgi-bin/dirlist.pl/available/in-progress/treeoflife
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A project I'm working on with my uncle in NC (I went to Charlotte at the same time as <lj user="whitcomb">, but he forgot, so we didn't get to meet. Damnit), for a website/server on taxonomy. Not sure if I'm supposed to be releasing that many details, but it will be a research tool type thing. Might get a domain for it, or put it on thinkquest or something.
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<strong>Concerts:</strong>
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The ones I'm going to go see, at least. I'll make a calendar thing for other concerts. DCPA is <a href="http://dcpa.org">Denver Center for the Performing Arts</a>.
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Revolutionary Spirit @ DCPA: Boettcher Concert Hall - Orchestra2:row O:seats 28 & 29 - Sunday September 22, 2002 at 2:30pm
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- Daugherty <i>Philadelphia Stories</i>,
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- Beethoven <i>Piano Concerto No. 4 in G major, Op. 58</i>
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- Shostakovich <i>Symphony No. 5 in D minor, Op. 47</i> (the real reason I'm going)
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King'Singers @ DCPA: Boettcher Concert Hall - Orchestra 2:row N:seats 40 & 41 - Thursday February 27, 2003 at 7:30pm
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Hough Plays Rachmoninov @ DCPA: Boettcher Concert Hall - Orchestra 2:row O:seats 28 & 29 - Friday April 4th, 2003 at 7:30pm
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- Vaughan Williams <i>Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis</i> (should be interesting)
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- Rachmoninov <i>Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini, Op. 43</i> (not my favorite, but still good)
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- Lutoslawski <i>Concerto for Orchestra</i>
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Tchaikovsky's Fifth @ DCPA: Boettcher Concert Hall - Orchestra 2:row N:seats 28 & 29 - Friday May 16, 2003 at 7:30pm
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- Liszt <i>Hungarian Rhapsody</i> (heh.. wonder if it's No. 2)
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- Bartok <i>Violin Concerto No. 2</i>
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- Tchaikovsky <i>Symphony No. 5 in E minor, Op. 64</i></lj>
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%title Because Whitcomb's making me..
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%date 2002-08-31 20:44:12
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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I'm going to discuss my religious views. If you disagree with them, or are personally offended by them, please don't email me, but leave a comment here. That at least gives me an option to read them. If you mail me, I'll delete your mail. These are my opinions and I'm not asking for yours.
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Religion is a good idea implemented in a bad way, especially christianity. However, I consider myself a christian in an.. abstract sense. Religion, to me, is a way of getting large amounts of people to do something that you want to do without having to talk to them directly. The goal of most religions (note the 'most' part) is to get you to be a Good Person according to society by providing a peice of literature, a myth, or some way of communicating your desires in a way that, while people may not believe it, it'll make them think about it. That's why the bible is contradictory: it has to appeal to all sorts of different people to get them to be Good (my liberal use of capitalization is not an accident). This is why there are quiet, happy christians, loud and angry christians, and every thing in between. There are christians who fear God, and there are those who are on a first name basis with him, because either they were imprinted with this philosophy at childhood, or something in the holy writ spoke to them. The threats, like 'be Good or go to Hell' spoke to some, while other parts, like the promises of heaven or the ideal Love spoke to others. Religion reaches so many people, too, partially because of the story aspect: the bible may or may not be true, but it's still a story, and has a plot. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that religion presents a set of ideas for an ideal society.
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The badly implemented part is that the majority of people take religion farther than I find comfortable; pushing the more obscure (and obsolete) Ideas down other people's throats by means of politics, rules, circular arguments, and general overzealousness. They don't realize that there can be different degrees of faith in their religion and that life will still go on. Subtle seems to be a difficult concept. People who can recite bible verses should check to see that they understand them, first. For example, I can recite Romans 1:22 "Professing themselves as wise, they became fools", but I understand what it means: that it is foolish to say that you're smarter than you are, or to show off how smart you are to other people. Also, people who recite should try to take the verses to heart. I <b>know</b> that I sometimes show off, but, for the most part, I try not to do it.
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Now days, however, things are starting to shift a bit. The majority of religious people still tend to be fairly zealous, but more and more people that I meet tend to be reading more into the bible, not as a story, but as a set of ideas put forth by the School of Deuteronomy, the Apostles, and other people who worked on the bible to help promote Goodness, even if it means fighting for Goodness, because Goodness is Good.
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This probably didn't make sense, but at least I have it written down somewhere now.
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%title HBC Update
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%date 2002-09-04 19:55:54
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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On a downswing.
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Very angry. Parents don't seem to help the stress level, since they tend to whine a lot. A whole lot. Sometimes, it feels like home is worse than school, even though I know it's not. I'll be fine when I get home, then when my mom gets home and does the whole 'parent' thing, things just sorta go downhill. Today it happened to occur during a dicussion with Andrew, so that sorta.. sucked.
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Sleep may be a factor, too, as I'm on my last bit of energy and it's not really that late.
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Still not sure whether I believe the $297 for a non-stop, round trip plane ticket to Florida over Christmas break. Especially since I just bought it. Oh well, now I'm two slips of paper richer.
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%title HBC Update
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%date 2002-09-05 22:10:32
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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Nice discussion with father figure tonight, no huge swings. Just did the thinking/meditating thing (I don't know about you, but I have to think things over to clear my mind. All you people who just go blank or something are either lucky or working too hard) and it didn't really resolve anything. All I feel from it is tired.
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Maybe the discussion had to do with the lack of swings (vice versa, too lazy to delete). Maybe keeping myself occupied helps, though it'd take an awful lot of work to keep myself as occupied as I was tonight. From overrestrictive parents, to science, to dogs, to math, to books, to music, &c. Well.. whatever.
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%title HBC Update
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%date 2002-09-07 23:24:58
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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I wish I could talk to my mom about being a 'stress factor' A lot of little things she does really get me going. Anyway, I can tell that the thinking and meditating is helping slightly. The swings are still severe, but they're more spread out now.
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%title Rah.
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%date 2002-09-07 23:30:52
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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<strong>DocML</strong> - completed project http://ranna.bolognia.net/xml/DocML
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I rewrote Nanon in this to be more universal than LaTeX (I don't like dvis). It's like html, but more for writing structured documents.
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Nanon's finished (except for a few small things) too: http://ranna.bolognia.net/nanon/xml
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%title For Whitcomb
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%date 2002-10-10 17:14:37
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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A reminder to myself to frequent his LJ
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%title My first sermon.
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%date 2002-10-12 15:28:00
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:diary:livejournal:fossils:
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<strong>On the milking of Chaos.</strong>
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Setting Orange, the 66th day of Bureaucracy in the YOLD 3168
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<em>Behold, among a field of chaos, the chao that stands out the most is the one
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that is not there.</em>
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Ovaltine 5:23
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There is no limit to the milking of chaos among men.
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Well, there is one, and that one is that no man can milk the mu-Chao. Only
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Her Rather-holy Holiness Eris may milk such a chao, for the mu-Chao is the
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chao of NO-THING.
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Each man may milk - no, has to milk - at least one small chao in his life
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time; there is no way for human beans to NOT do such a thing. Milking the
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mu-Chao isn't possible because simply by their mere existence, men create
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chaos among the world, and, as much as they strive against this fact, there's
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not a thing they can do about it.
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Eris just skips over the rule of existence gaily and goes about milking as she
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pleases.
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It is said that once, when a great Discordian was asked if he had seen the
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mu-Chao, he thought for a second before replying: "Yes, but not with my own
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eyes." The questioner remained unenlightened because he was stoned at the
|
||||
time, but mostly because he was stupid.
|
||||
|
||||
To this day, I'm still not sure what I'm talking about. Thank you.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Hehehehehehe.
|
||||
%date 2002-10-13 00:16:26
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
This has got to be one of the world's coolest songs.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Ru-oar.
|
||||
%date 2002-10-26 13:19:20
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
http://www.twotowersprotest.org/
|
||||
http://www.petitiononline.com/twotower/
|
||||
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/cool.htm
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Heh.
|
||||
%date 2002-10-27 16:41:00
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<a href="http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?1079750848">Heh.</a>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
|
|||
%title College stuffs.
|
||||
%date 2002-11-10 10:55:28
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Majors:
|
||||
<ul>
|
||||
<li>Linguistics</li>
|
||||
<li>Linguistics & Psychology</li>
|
||||
<li>Linguistics & Comp. Sci.</li>
|
||||
<li>Linguistics & Mol. Bio.</li>
|
||||
<li>Mol. Bio.</li>
|
||||
<li>Mol. Bio. & Comp. Sci.</li>
|
||||
</ul>
|
||||
Minors or Electives:
|
||||
<ul>
|
||||
<li>Classics</li>
|
||||
<li>Music</li>
|
||||
<li>Linguistics</li>
|
||||
<li>Comp. Sci.</li>
|
||||
<li>Mol. Bio.</li>
|
||||
<li>Psychology</li>
|
||||
</ul>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
|
|||
%title The Antimelody -and- The Return of the Antimelody
|
||||
%date 2002-11-15 21:22:49
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<strong>Revolutionary Spirit @ DCPA: Boettcher Concert Hall - Orchestra2:row O:seats 28 & 29 - Sunday September 22, 2002 at 2:30pm</strong>
|
||||
I only really went for the Shosty. I'm addicted. Fifth Symphony especially. Oh well. I got to see my first bit of Daugherty
|
||||
|
||||
We need a word for him: antimelody (n) amelodic, amelodious (adj) a theme lacking in melody in the common sense. Daugherty's music is, as described by my mom, a mish-mash of small themes, mostly harmonic, that sound alright individually, but don't quite fit together as a whole. His Phillidelphia Stories may have accurately described the city, but I've never been there, and after hearing such a chaotic piece, I'm not entirely sure that I want to. He has potential, though. A lot of the themes he explores are kinda catchy and I've caught myself whistling them once or twice.
|
||||
|
||||
The Beethoven was good. His fourth piano cto., performed by a tall pianist that looked like the director to the Rolling Requiem in Boulder. He said that the critics would say that he was better at playing the piano than speaking in front of the audience. He was better at playing the piano than speaking in front of the audience.
|
||||
|
||||
The Shosty was great, of course, being his fifth. I like the first and second movements especially, even though CSO played them kinda slow. Still well worth going.
|
||||
|
||||
On the ride home, we read about another show that we might want to go to...
|
||||
|
||||
<strong>The Big Bang @ DCPA: Boettcher Concert Hall - Orcestra2:row P:seats 44 & 45 - Friday November 15, 2002 at 7:30pm</strong>
|
||||
|
||||
With large screens at three points along the perimeter of the cylindrical hall showing scenes of shuttle launches and various 3d animations of space-stuff, the concert started out with a space-music medley. Beginning with Also Sprach Zarathustra and moving right into various themes from The Planets (Alsop, who made a sneaky entrance, is directing The Planets this weekend), for a satisfying and grand peice. The movie clips were kinda distracting, but it was still good.
|
||||
|
||||
After announcing that the concert was, from that point on, going to be recorded, Mrs. Alsop quieted down to let us hear an eerie noise that, at first, sounded like a recording from a horror movie. After a while of looking around, Evelyn Glennie appeared behind us and stole down the aisle with an odd contraption that looked to be a gourd with thick piano wires sticking vertically from the wider part towards the smaller handle. She was playing it with a violin bow that had a cow bell attached to the end. After she made her way to the stage, she proceeded to introduce the piece with all sorts of oddball percussion instruments including a hand-wound air-raid siren, a steel drum upsidedown with seashells in it, and a handheld radio with which she produced feedback while messing with the squelch.
|
||||
|
||||
It was all downhill from there. The Daugherty really started, with it's fractured antimelodies and "blowing strings" (still not sure what that is). Most of the rest of the concert was spend watching Glennie play around with percussion. She bowed everything from cymbols to her vibrophone, and used a lot of windchimes. For the second half/last third, she had a solo on an eclectic drum set that was mostly bongoes, cowbells, cymbols, buckets, and woodblocks. That was pretty neat. The symphony (The "UFO" Symphony) ended with her on the bongoes playing along with the strings playing a nice decending melody (he got it together near the end) that was very dramatic and a fairly good ending to such a piece.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Both Phillidelphia Stories and the UFO Symphony are coming out on CD (Naxos) soon, and I'm thinking of buying it to scare the babylonia admins with, and to show Andrew for the percussion side.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Oy.
|
||||
%date 2002-11-23 22:50:01
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I think Jack Osbourne is cute. Too bad he strikes me as an ass. And he's straight, too, to my knowledge.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
%title Notes for Health Presentation
|
||||
%date 2002-11-26 08:00:47
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
http://www.cyberpsych.org/homophobia/
|
||||
http://www.now.org/issues/lgbi/stats.html
|
||||
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_fuel.htm
|
||||
http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/sexual_prejudice.html
|
||||
http://www.gaychristianonline.org/christian.html
|
||||
http://216.239.33.100/search?q=cache:gUNeIWmMrw4C:www.catc.org/documents/homosexuality.doc+paul+apostle+gay&hl=en&ie=UTF-8
|
||||
http://www.oberlin.edu/~mtowey/soci/homoteen1.html
|
||||
http://www.gaysouthafrica.org.za/gayteens/homophobia.asp
|
||||
http://www.sxetc.org/library/genLibArticle.asp?CategoryID=1285&ArticleID=art_1159
|
||||
http://www.geocities.com/gsa_chat/peer_support.htmlˇ
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Moved.
|
||||
%date 2003-01-04 16:01:14
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
http://ranna.bolognia.net/bb/viewforum.php?f=2
|
||||
File diff suppressed because it is too large
Load Diff
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
|
|||
%title Stuffage.
|
||||
%date 2004-01-15 00:54:35
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Well, it's been a long time since I posted in this Dusty Ould
|
||||
Thing®, and longer still since I added an actual Journal
|
||||
Entry©, but since <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj>™ has prodded me into doing so, I will.<br/>
|
||||
<br/>
|
||||
First, with today (then I'll do catch up stuffs), I had four hours with Teh Rev (P) for finals (Excal and Festival), so I was feeling rather.. demoralized by the end of the day. Then I had auditions for Insomniac, which meant wearing my PJ pants, which are unfairly comfortable (really! I wish to wear them FO-EH-VAH). So, of course, I wore them for the rest of the day.<br/>
|
||||
<br/>
|
||||
Tonight, at OASOS, Wendy decided to do the Side-Poke-of-Doom (pat. pend.), which involved me falling on the floor multiple times to the point of hurting my hands. She kept on doing it, but made up for it with Hugs (ran out of copyright thingies). Samir thought it was cute and dutifully began fawning over/hitting on me, which I did not mind one bit. Well, maybe just a little bit, when he started giving me a massage. I have problems with people touching my sides and back, which is strange. It's probably psychological, but what could cause me to be so extremely sensitive in just those areas as to lead to violent reactions in response to tickling? Probably something deep, like, since I'm scared of persecution at school, I withdrew physically into myself, so as not to be accused of crossing someone's boundries. Probably.<br/>
|
||||
<br/>
|
||||
Anyway, for past updateishness. Ranna + Shan!! Shan +
|
||||
Rynden x.x Shan - Rynden; ...Ranna. Shan + Ranna!
|
||||
Shan + Ranna. Shan.. + Ranna... Ranna - Shan.
|
||||
Ranna. Shan. Kory? Ranna + Kory? Kory!
|
||||
Kory? Samir!?<br/>
|
||||
<br/>
|
||||
There's the relationships. School: Choir?
|
||||
Choir! Shannon + Choir?! Ranna - Shannon? x.x Ranna +
|
||||
Excal = Shannon x.x Teh Rev + Ranna x.x<br/>
|
||||
<br/>
|
||||
College? Got into CSU. Hoping to do a house thingy with
|
||||
Ientaculum Vulpes sophomore year, but room in Braiden freshman
|
||||
year. Kiran, Shannon, and IV all wish to do the same.<br/>
|
||||
<br/>
|
||||
Other than that? I Cor. 13<br/>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title N.B.!
|
||||
%date 2004-01-15 01:10:39
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
H.E.R.E.T.I.C.S., Humans Encouraging Righteous Exploration of Tenets In Compact Sects, is letting me do a Discordian thingy on tuesday next week. On a related note, I got a Cthulhu plush. On another related note, my <a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/discord">Qabal's</a> growing more serious.
|
||||
|
||||
On a completely different note, <a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/artlang/nanon">Nanon's</a> getting some work done on it again!
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
%title Yar. Doom.
|
||||
%date 2004-01-20 20:32:02
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Eheh. Ehehehe. Hahaha. Heh.
|
||||
|
||||
Excuse me. Anyway, stuff. Finals are over and done, which is a good thing, and I passed math, which is a Good Thing. So after that, I slacked off all weekend (though I did have to go to school on friday again. I feel for ye, <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj>), and went up to Kelleh's on sunday night. Had to sleep on the floor, so sleep I didn't, and I'm still paying for that with a sore back. Goofed around a bunch, though, and generally had a lot of fun. Met some of Moondog's friends online, and watched a bunch of movies with a couple of lesbians. The next day, I followed Moondog around, mostly, 'cause she's neat. She smoked cloves and I tried to stay awake while we talked about Samir and dogs and Fredrick and gay boys and stuff.
|
||||
|
||||
Also, will be dragging someone to OASOS tomorrow. Will be fun. No complete sentences. Nor verbs.
|
||||
|
||||
Also also, tomorrow I turn the fateful 18. Yey, voting, smoking, and porn.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Hmm.
|
||||
%date 2004-01-23 05:33:17
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Lately, I've found my self liking this one girl (who shall go unnamed for the moment) as well as this one guy (who's name you already know.. if you're me!!two Ahahaha.. er.. Kory). Now, this isn't a very big problem for me (well, it was, but I have my ways of justification [the current is "I work on a case by case basis"]), but it might be moreso for some folk around me. I've been calling myself gay for all of my high school career, and people have all of their own little conceptions about sexuality, and I think this might damage some of those. It certainly damaged mine for a while. Anyway, I think I'll just keep publicly obsessing over Kory while having a little private obsession over Ms. Unnamed on the side.
|
||||
|
||||
Mind you, due to something freaky, none of this really has to do with sex. Sex is mighty cool, yes, but recently I've had no desire to actually.. partake in it. After a few incidences of people getting rather close to me, I've found that I'm rather.. uh.. well, lets just say that I've fucked myself over for a little bit by doing the online thing for so long and not learning how to interact with people in the Real World(tm). When a situation starts getting close, I freak out, and that's not exactly wonderful, because not everyone has buried their physical desires under a layer of words ^.^ So, I have little to no desire to make the beast with two backs with Kory, and almost no desire to do the horizontal bop with Ms. No-name. Maybe I still fit the rei populorum definition of gay.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,41 @@
|
|||
%title Rrl.
|
||||
%date 2004-01-23 22:01:00
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I've become obsessed with this song (Turin Brakes - Full of Stars). The chorus is absolute bliss with it's perfect fifths in sessy falsetto.. Mmm... *joygasm*
|
||||
|
||||
Anyhoo. At m'dad's now, and actually feeling pretty good about it. I'm not sure why males have to 'bond', but I guess it's okay, since I'm kinda iffy around my dad unless I spend a good solid hour, at least, around him just shootin' the shit and maybe cooking. Anyway, he got me a wireless keyboard (which sucks) and wireless mouse (which rocks, and means I can take my tablet to my mom's, where it'll be much appreciated), a little flash memory keychain drive that holds 256megs (amazingly cool), and a new sound system (appreciated). In other materialistic news, Sibelius 3 came, and is duly wonderful, and my leaf brooch came, and is duly beautiful.
|
||||
|
||||
Other than that, I Cor. 13 in Nanon.
|
||||
|
||||
<i>
|
||||
Loråtla fetah.
|
||||
Anåt fetah.
|
||||
Nu kufemotla fetah.
|
||||
Nu haleputatla fetah.
|
||||
Nu haledatåtla fetah.
|
||||
Nu halesupotla fetah.
|
||||
Nu tuvårier fetah lubåtam t'ner.
|
||||
Nu kufori set fetah.
|
||||
Nu mununier fetah esunotalam.
|
||||
Nu jaruvåtier fetah unotalam -
|
||||
Ato harahier t'n houka anåtalam.
|
||||
Mununier fetah houkalam,
|
||||
Konemier t'n houkalam,
|
||||
Horanemier t'n houkalam,
|
||||
Hatarier t'n houkalam.
|
||||
Nuka jodoti fetah.
|
||||
|
||||
Ani Eskorinthev Anses.</i>
|
||||
|
||||
And also, Latin scribbles.:
|
||||
|
||||
<i>
|
||||
Falling falling, feeling fine,
|
||||
Finding forms and making mine.
|
||||
Pressing pressing, pushing past,
|
||||
Picking paths and falling fast.
|
||||
Running running, rarely rest,
|
||||
Run the risk and pass the test.
|
||||
Do it all and feel fine.
|
||||
Do it all and feel fine.</i>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
|
|||
%title All-Statey goodness!
|
||||
%date 2004-02-07 19:35:08
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Okay, so I returned tuesday and it's saturday night, but it took a while to digest the whole thing. Anyway, here's a recount of All-State:
|
||||
|
||||
Sunday:
|
||||
Woke up at about ten, the bus left at around 11:45. The journey up was pretty uneventful, though there was a good deal of singing on the bus. One choir would be singing about Ezekiel and the wheel, another in hebrew, and a third about the devil. It was interesting, to say the least. Anyway, after we got there, we immediately had our second audition, which consisted of singing about ten measures from three of our seven songs. After that, we went to the hotel and checked in. There was a two hour rehearsal before dinner, and one after dinner. The director of the mens' choir was really, Dr. Peter Eklund. After that, there was a short concert before bed, where I didn't sleep, 'cause Michael Rodgers was so restless.
|
||||
|
||||
Monday:
|
||||
Woke up early for an eight o'clock rehearsal, and rehearsed all day long, which was actually rather fun. During the course of the day, I met really neat guy named Tim, a second tenor who's into classical music and goes to Denver School of the Arts. We hung out for most of the rest of the day, except for dinner (where the FHS kids ordered $145 of chinese food. My fortune said, "You have a special appreciation of music and the arts" Captain obvious, thank you. I'll continue breathing now). Before that, however, there was the <a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/gallery/allstate04/37_balcony2">balcony sing</a>, which was incredibly cool. Imagine three of the world's best choirs singing in a nine story open space, and you just get a small glimpse of how cool it was. There was a dance that night, but Tim and I just wandered around and talked. We went up to the ninth floor and found out that Matt was afraid of heights.
|
||||
|
||||
Tuesday:
|
||||
This was concert day, so we ended up getting up at six, eating breakfast, and were on stage by eight. We rehearsed until 11:30, then lunch, then our first concert was at 2. It went very well; the other choirs got to watch us, and the womens' choir freaked out, screaming and melting and such. There was a bit more rehearsal, then dinner, then the final concert at 7:30. My mom showed up, and my dad forgot. Oh well. All in all, it was pretty much the most incredible thing that's happened to me. ^.^
|
||||
|
||||
Some songs of note from All-State:
|
||||
Du Bist Die Ruh - Schubert, Arr. Eklund (mens)
|
||||
El Yivneh Hagalil - Sozio (mens)
|
||||
Daemon Irrepit Callidus - Orban (mixed)
|
||||
Sleep - Whitacre (mixed)
|
||||
|
||||
Tomorrow:
|
||||
Ryan, Wendy, Kiran, Andrew, Shannon, and maybe Tyler are all gonna come over and watch anime (Yami no Matsuei, Excel Saga, FLCL, maybe Trigun). The pack (Me, Ryan, Andrew, and Wendy) will most likely pile and make the others feel awkward. They're welcome to join if they want :o)
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
|
|||
%title Heh. HEHEHEHEH. Hehe..
|
||||
%date 2004-02-09 19:37:03
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
By means of explaination, two assignments from my creative writing class.
|
||||
|
||||
Assignment 1: Creative Imitation.
|
||||
He was the white sheep, the one who could be tamed and domesticated, the four of spades of the family. Was he my favorite aunt? No. But he was by far the least attractive, a man who could hold his liquor, his money, and all of the many men who passed through his life. Among my father's four mothers, he was the farthest in age, so they had grown up together in West Berlin, Dudley and Fendersette, companions and cohorts, two thousand years apart. I have seen my father undulating with complacency at something his mother had recently done to him. I have also watched him fry as he recounted a girlhood stunt that foreshadowed the kind of life that Fendersette would lead. I mention this because my father was not what I would call a human or an exploding fox. He was given to shows of pleasure, yet no one could make him laugh out loud.
|
||||
|
||||
Assignment 2: Touch and Go Scavenger Hunt.
|
||||
1. The fox feels like idyllic fur; plush and soft and like doom.
|
||||
2. The snow is a cold, crystalized terrain of doom.
|
||||
3. Tree buds; waxy, purposeful corpuscles of doom.
|
||||
4. The air feels decidedly not like a rock of doom.
|
||||
5. The wood is velvety soft with a ripply, distinctly doom-like quality.
|
||||
6. Willie's face feels remarkably like Aditi's face, Matt's face, and doom.
|
||||
7. Chris' gauze-tape feels like crumply, rubbery, elastic doom.
|
||||
8. 50-Spence's hair feels like soft, fluffy, airy doominess.
|
||||
9. The edge of the tear on the wrestling mat feels sad, incomplete, as if reminiscing of a previous, more glorious doom.
|
||||
10. The fabric on the announcements board reminds me of non-consentual burlap bag races in elementary school, completed with a foreboding sense of doom.
|
||||
|
||||
Ms. Doolittle got mad at me today in creative writing. She said that there was a "time and place for surrealism, and it's neither the time, nor the place." I replied that there was no place for a surrealist in reality, and sulked the rest of the period.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
%title Oh yeah..
|
||||
%date 2004-02-09 19:48:52
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
PILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11seven
|
||||
|
||||
The anime thing was extremely cool. We watched some of the Yami No Matsuei, some Excel Saga, and all of FLCL, but that wasn't really the highlight. Since the pack was over, plus some, there was a huge pile. <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj>, Mr. Pilot, Wendy, and I, of course, piled, but Shannon and Kiran also joined in. Tyler just watched us and the TV. Anyhoo, Moondog (Wendy) brought over her brand new puppy, who was so cute as to cause me to go into spasms. Also in the spasm-inducing department was Moondog chewing on my neck.
|
||||
|
||||
We've decided that Moondog's the Alpha, and that it's a pack because she's a wolf. Also, we've decided to head up to Steamboat for a weekend or something and dance around the campfire and pile and howl and do other joyous things. I'm getting rather attached to this pack thingie. Makes me happie.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
%title Damn you breakfastfox..
|
||||
%date 2004-02-09 21:32:44
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Arrrrrgh!
|
||||
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
<div align="center"> <table bgcolor="#eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"> <div align="center"> Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results<br/> <table bgcolor="#dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" style="color: black; background: #dddddd"> <tr> <td>Sociability</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">78%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Gregariousness</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">62%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Assertiveness</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">42%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Activity Level</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Excitement-Seeking</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Enthusiasm</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"><b>Extroversion</b></td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="30"><b>61%</b></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Trust</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">70%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Morality</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">54%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Altruism</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">78%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Cooperation</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">70%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Modesty</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">62%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Sympathy</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">70%</td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"><b>Friendliness</b></td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="30"><b>67%</b></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Competence</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">58%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Neatness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">38%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Dutifulness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">74%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Achievement</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Self-Discipline</td> <td width="50">|||||||||</td> <td width="30">26%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Cautiousness</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">46%</td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"><b>Orderliness</b></td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="30"><b>48%</b></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Anxiety</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">34%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Volatility</td> <td width="50">||||||</td> <td width="30">18%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Depression</td> <td width="50">||||||</td> <td width="30">18%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Self-Consciousness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">34%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Impulsiveness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">54%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Vulnerability</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">58%</td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"><b>Emotional Stability</b></td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="30"><b>64%</b></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Imagination</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">82%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Artistic Interests</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">90%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Emotionality</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Adventurousness</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">62%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Intellect</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">70%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Liberalism</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">70%</td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"><b>Openmindedness</b></td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee" width="30"><b>76%</b></td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/big30.html">Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test</a></div>
|
||||
<div align="center"><!--61.9 66.67 70.59 69.44--> <table bgcolor="#dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td width="250"> <div align="center"> <font color="black"><b>ENFP</b> - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population. </font></div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/">Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test</a></div>
|
||||
<div align="center"><!-- 2.48 / 5.08 --><table bgcolor="#e7e4e4" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" width="240"><tr> <td width="50%"><div align="center"> Conscious self</div> </td><td><div align="center">Overall self</div></td> </tr><tr><td width="50%"><div align="center"><img border="0" src="http://similarminds.com/images/9w1.gif"/></div> </td><td><div align="center"><img border="0" src="http://similarminds.com/images/9w1-mean.gif"/></div> </td></tr></table><a href="http://www.similarminds.com">Take Free Enneagram Personality Test</a></div>
|
||||
<div align="center"><img src="http://sminds.com/e.gif"/> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"> <div align="center"> Enneagram Test Results <table bgcolor="#dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="color: black; background: #dddddd"> <tr> <td>Type 1 </td> <td>Perfectionism</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">42%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 2</td> <td> Helpfulness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">78%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 3</td> <td> Image Awareness</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 46%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 4</td> <td>Sensitivity</td> <td width="50"> ||||</td> <td width="30"> 13%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 5</td> <td> Detachment</td> <td width="50"> ||||</td> <td width="30"> 18%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 6</td> <td>Anxiety</td> <td width="50"> ||||||</td> <td width="30"> 30%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 7</td> <td> Adventurousness</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 60%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 8</td> <td>Aggressiveness</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 37%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 9</td> <td>Calmness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 91%</td> </tr> </table> Your Conscious-Surface type is <b> 9w1</b> <br/> Your Unconscious-Overall type is <b> 9w1</b> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com"> Take Free Enneagram Personality Test</a></div>
|
||||
<div align="center"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"> <div align="center"> Enneagram Test Results <table bgcolor="#dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="color: black; background: #dddddd"> <tr> <td>Type 1 </td> <td>Perfectionism</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||</td> <td width="30">37%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 2</td> <td> Helpfulness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">58%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 3</td> <td> Image Awareness</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 35%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 4</td> <td>Sensitivity</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 37%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 5</td> <td> Detachment</td> <td width="50"> ||||||</td> <td width="30"> 25%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 6</td> <td>Anxiety</td> <td width="50"> ||||||</td> <td width="30"> 26%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 7</td> <td> Adventurousness</td> <td width="50"> ||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 60%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 8</td> <td>Aggressiveness</td> <td width="50"> ||||||</td> <td width="30"> 26%</td> </tr> <tr> <td> Type 9</td> <td>Calmness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30"> 78%</td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com"> Take Free Enneagram Word Test</a></div>
|
||||
|
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|
|||
%title Fear.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-10 18:43:07
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Another uneventful day passes.
|
||||
|
||||
Well, mostly uneventful.
|
||||
|
||||
Today, in MizDoo's class (creative writing) we did a web (a method of brainstorming that I actually like. Not sure if <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj>, <lj user="senotay"></lj>, and <lj user="ironmonkey989"></lj> did this) on fear. The idea of the exercise was to let your right brain do the writing and give your left brain, the one that usually controls such idea processing, a break. Ms. Doo said that there'd probably be an 'ah moment' when you hit on something that would be worth writing about. For me, the ah-moment was subtle, but rather revealing. It was like going to some Freudian psychologist, only it was free, and I did it to myself. I've found new respect for my pen, paper, and the wonder of language.
|
||||
|
||||
However, since this stuff is kinda personal, I'll cut here. It you want to delve deeper and get weirded out even more by me, go ahead and read on.
|
||||
|
||||
<details text="On Ranna and his relationships, and what he should do."><summary>On Ranna and his relationships, and what he should do.</summary>Anyway, more to the point, we were storming up a brain on the word 'fear' and what it meant to us, so I started out with some pretty mundane topics: 'mediocrity' and 'alone'. I'll give you the progression from there, and boldface the parts that, after thinking about them, made me go 'ah.'
|
||||
|
||||
Fear - mediocrity: bad job, boring person, normal - why can I mean something to someone? - alone - I like people but I keep myself alone with who I like and that leads to doom - fear - I take personality tests, but they don't tell me anything - I need someone and the ones I need and like are not my type - why is it that people are they way they are sometimes? - I like the Alpha [Moondog] and Kory and I obsess, but I don't tell them, <strong>maybe I'm afraid they'll like me back and I won't know what to do about it</strong> - I kept myself in long-distance relationships because I didn't know how to deal with local ones, <strong>I was afraid of looking stupid/bad</strong> - <strong>I'm afraid of myself and how self-centered I might seem/be</strong> - why be selfless? - You're not worthless, you know that, but <strong>maybe you're afraid that people won't see your worth?</strong> - <strong>maybe they do and you just don't let yourself see it.</strong>
|
||||
|
||||
(I also wrote 'Fear - I eat children - MESSY', but deemed that inconsequential.)
|
||||
|
||||
So, while there's no terrifically new items there, there is a new way to look at myself and the way I deal with relationships. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about it yet, since I've got a lot of other stuff going on, but I also have a four day weekend coming up, so that might be time to focus. I'm thinking I might do something to help with that. Maybe fasting, or a good long think (dare I say... MEDITATION?! Yes, actually; "meditation") away from the house (but where?) and my emotion-absorbing/-resistant basement. Any other ideas? I'm getting the feeling that the current.. I don't want to say rut.. maybe track I'm in is probably not the healthiest for me (or others, for that matter), and I should work on altering that; I should re-evaluate my feelings for others and just what they mean, as well as how I deal with those feelings.
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
|
||||
In other news, I'm now a FLCL freak. MizDoo said that the show was either a sign of the downfall of our species (for it's short attention span inducing.. stuff. She wasn't terribly clear), or genius. I happen to think it's the latter. I think we should coin a word on Ms. Doolittle's name (and get points): Missdoo (I missdoo, to missdoo, missdoo'd, to have missdoon) v. intrans. - To wander away from the topic unintentionally and suddenly snap back. "To missdoo is generally considered unacceptable in public speaking: a solid topic is strongly reccommended."
|
||||
|
||||
(More personal-ish stuff follows)
|
||||
<lj-cut text="On Ryan and his book."><strong>Edit:</strong> upon flipping through the dog-eared pages of <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj>'s book (see his post for which one) during my unexpected off-period, we both found that, according to a very general description, we're both wolves, and for different reasons: Ryan because of some of his actions, me because of my sensitivity about people touching my neck, ears, and other sensitive areas, and both of us due to our tall, lanky builds. There were other time consuming facts there, and as always, true information hidden beneath them. After Pops, I must borrow that book again and take a more serious look. While shifting in particular isn't what really interests me, some of the other ideas in the book piqued my interest.
|
||||
</lj-cut>
|
||||
|
|
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|
|||
%title Plurrr.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-11 22:42:38
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Ah, wednesday of doom. School starts later for me, yet I end up having to get up at the same time since I have to drive from my dad's. Then I must endure Revier for two block periods, interspersed amongst math and IB bio 3,4, and then see him again for closer rehearsal of DEATH, during which Kory and I clung together, leaned on each other, hugged, maybe even snugged. I'm focused on singing, can't you tell? After that, I hurried home, hurried dinner, hurried out, hurried <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj> and <lj user="vulpinepilot"></lj> to group, and proceeded to attach to Moondog. Speaking of attachment to Moondog, it feels like I'm becoming rather attached to Moondog. >.@ I'm also spazzing out 'cause I feel obligated to only feel that way to the stereotypical gayboi. Ah well, I'm a loser that way. I'm concerned about what this might mean to her, since it, well, you know, has to do with her. I fucked myself over by not telling people before, so I'm thinking I should talk with her sometime soonish. I'll probably do it online, 'cause I'm a coward. Kelly says it's obvious that we're completely smitten, and that I should do something about it, but she's vague and confusing. And twisted, too. Illa vita. Moondog herself is kinda being vague about something about interests and perhaps liking a gayboi, but I don't want to assume. Well, I want to, but I mustn't!
|
||||
|
||||
...Yes, of doom.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title As the thot plickens..
|
||||
%date 2004-02-12 23:21:26
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Things are as they were cautiously assumed (damn you, <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj> and your assumptions). This, however, took a vicious few hours of tickling and snuggling at Kelly's, which only served to reenforce the point. I sensed a tiny conspiracy (conspiriature? conspirette?) between Moondog and Samir (not sure about Kelly, though I guess we had our own, after she bugged me last night), but I'm not going to bother myself with it. Now, however, I'm confused, and this is leading to consternation. Confused and afraid. Moondog's such a beautiful person, and I'm so.. awkward - at least now, I am, after the whole thing with Shan and the other relationships before him - and I don't want her to be hurt by that, or by any other dumb things I do, such as pull a Matt (which is a story for another time). For people well versed in the ways of relationships, I guess this wouldn't be a problem, but I'm having a hard time thinking of how to bring it up to Moondog without out and out appologizing for being a dweeb. I must think, and we must talk more, but I surrender unto sleep.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Yeee!
|
||||
%date 2004-02-13 15:50:18
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Sheet music by mail! Just got Sleep for SATB and Daemon for SATB and TTBB ^.^ I'm on my way to fullfilling my dream of having an extremely weird choir!
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
|
|||
%title Sleep
|
||||
%date 2004-02-14 00:28:25
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
The evening hangs beneath the moon,
|
||||
A silver thread on darkened dune.
|
||||
With closing eyes and resting head
|
||||
I know that sleep is coming soon.
|
||||
|
||||
Upon my pillow safe in bed,
|
||||
A thousand pictures fill my head,
|
||||
I cannot sleep, my mind's aflight;
|
||||
And yet my limbs seem made of lead.
|
||||
|
||||
If there are noises in the night
|
||||
A frightening shadow, flickering light (in the night)
|
||||
Then I surrender unto sleep,
|
||||
Where clouds of dream give second sight.
|
||||
|
||||
What dreams may come both dark and deep,
|
||||
Of flying wings and soaring leap
|
||||
As I surrender unto sleep, (dark and deep)
|
||||
As I surrender unto sleep. (dark and deep)
|
||||
|
||||
- Charles Anthony Silvestri, as commissioned by Eric Whitacre for Sleep.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
|
|||
%title More Qvizes
|
||||
%date 2004-02-14 11:09:21
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Curses, foiled again!
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
<a href="http://quizilla.com/users/mechangel/quizzes/Which%20FLCL%20Character%20Are%20You%20%3F/"><img alt="haruko" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/M/mechangel/1071294264_haruko.jpg"/><br/> <font size="-1">Which FLCL Character Are You ?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
<img alt="It looks as though you're just a little Fudged in the Head" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/P/PseudoAngel/1067658383_dintheHead.jpg"/><br/>'Fudged in the Head' PLEASE VOTE!!!
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/PseudoAngel/quizzes/What%20Type%20of%20Lunatic%20are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">What Type of Lunatic are You?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
<img alt="DarkMagic" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/N/nyrata/1073912122_neressquiz.JPG"/><br/>Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's<br/>beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.<br/>Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't<br/>mean you're not friendly!
|
||||
<p>
|
||||
Please rate ^^
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/nyrata/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20dark%20person%20are%20you%3F/"> <font size="-1">What kind of dark person are you?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
<img alt="HASH(0x836474c)" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/N/novemberhorse/1047168577_zprotector.jpg"/><br/>Protector
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/novemberhorse/quizzes/The%20ULTIMATE%20personality%20test/"> <font size="-1">The ULTIMATE personality test</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font></p>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Ooo.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-14 12:35:25
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Date with Moondog tomorrow. We're gonna go to a dog show ^.^ Then dinnerish. Not sure other than that; two indecisive people trying to make a decision is a strange process involving evading of questions and goofing around. Took about half an hour to sort out. Heh.. c.c
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway.. I'm curious as to what my mom would think of the whole situation, much less my dad.. I don't think my mom likes Moondog, 'cause she smokes. Silly reason, I'd say, if a reason at all :oP Ahwell. Fuzziness abound.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
%title Yaytoday!
|
||||
%date 2004-02-15 23:10:25
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Last night, I was very tired, and ended up nearly getting myself, along with Ryan and Shannon, in a car accident, so I went to bed early, at around 8, thinking I'd be up early the next morning. However, that didn't happen, and I woke up around ten. Ah well. Went back to sleep eventually, and woke up around 8. Then 9. Then 10. Eventually I got up and got ready to wait for Moondog, who ended up showing a little late, since Sam had kept her up late doing Tarot readings.
|
||||
|
||||
<details text="More follows..."><summary>More follows...</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
An uneventful drive down to Denver followed. Well.. uneventful until I ran a red light on accident and had to merge with turning traffic. Ah well. After paying $6 for parking, we headed towards the agility show. She paid for both of us, and we sat down to watch the small dogs on the small course (an array of jumps, and one tube). By the time the big dogs were on the big course (jump, jump, teeter totter, weave poles, tunnel, catwalk, sit table, tunnel, jump, suspended tire, jump, collapsed tunnel, A-frame, jump, jump), we were snuggling, and I was trying to convince her not to kill the people behind us, who were kinda dumb (she knew all the breeds, and they most definately didn't). As they worked back to the small dogs on the big course, we decided to move on to the vendors and take a peek at the show. Never really held hands before, at least not in public, so that was cool.. Got a toy for Jubal.
|
||||
|
||||
After getting bored at the show, we made our way back to the car, so that I could get us lost in downtown Denver, since Colfax != Auraria. We finally made it to the Wazee supper club, where we sat for the purpose of eating and deciding our next move, which was to go see Big Fish. I forgot what I was doing, and went the wrong way, so we ended up taking 93 back, and I took the opportunity to stop in the house to pick up my jacket and some cloves for Moondog. We went to the theatre by McGuckin's, whereupon we were an hour early for the show. We snugged some there, then outside so she could smoke, then back in, where we ran into Paul ("highschool BOYS in short skirts!!"). In the movie (which was really good, I thought, and Tim-Burton-kind-of-weird), we snugged some more (sense a theme?). It was like a mini-pile, sorta. There was petting and kissing and stuff. A clove on the way home, and then another little mini-pile, which accidentally lasted for an hour (her neck's sensitive, too, hee). I found out why kissing is neat, and decided that I'm not that good at it. First time, oh well. Then she had to leave, so that she could be awake for work tomorrow. Millie barked at her on the way out, and now my mom probably thinks we're doing drugs in the basement.
|
||||
|
||||
All in all, a very good day. Now, two tylenol, and bed.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Slaihta, raihta, hweitarinda...
|
||||
%date 2004-02-16 10:40:29
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<a href="http://userpic.livejournal.com/10529980/1974238">This amused me to no end..</a>
|
||||
|
||||
Coffee date with Moondog on Wednesday before group. Well, before she leaves for youth board, and I leave for dinner and picking up the other two fuzzies.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,85 @@
|
|||
%title Spiralling Shape
|
||||
%date 2004-02-16 14:52:04
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Not sure why these seem pertinent.
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
Down, down, down you go
|
||||
No way to stop
|
||||
As you fall, hear me call
|
||||
No, no, no
|
||||
Listen to this warning and
|
||||
Consider these
|
||||
Simple words of advice
|
||||
Stop, stop, stop
|
||||
|
||||
Fogging the view, cupping face to the window
|
||||
In darkness you make out a spiralling shape
|
||||
Putting all reason aside you exchange
|
||||
What you got for a thing that's hypnotic and strange
|
||||
|
||||
The spiralling shape will make you go insane
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that groovy thing)
|
||||
But everyone wants to see that groovy thing
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that thing)
|
||||
|
||||
And nobody knows what it's really like
|
||||
But everyone says it's great
|
||||
And they heard it from the spiral in their eyes
|
||||
|
||||
This could lead to excellence
|
||||
Or serious injury
|
||||
Only one way to know
|
||||
Go, go, go
|
||||
Go ahead, wreck your life
|
||||
That might be good
|
||||
Who can say what's wrong or right?
|
||||
Nobody can
|
||||
|
||||
Put out your hands and you fall through the window
|
||||
And clawing at nothing you drop through the void
|
||||
Your terrified screams are inaudible drowned
|
||||
In the spiral ahead and consumed in the shape
|
||||
|
||||
The spiralling shape will make you go insane
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that groovy thing)
|
||||
But everyone wants to see that groovy thing
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that thing)
|
||||
|
||||
And now that you've tried it, you're back to report
|
||||
That the spiralling shape was a fraud and a fake
|
||||
You didn't enjoy it, you never believed it
|
||||
There won't be a refund, you'll never go back
|
||||
|
||||
The spiralling shape will make you go insane
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that groovy thing)
|
||||
But everyone wants to see that groovy thing
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that thing)
|
||||
|
||||
And nobody knows what it's really like
|
||||
But everyone says it's great
|
||||
And they heard it from the spiral in their eyes
|
||||
(Spiral in their eyes)
|
||||
|
||||
Fogging the view, cupping face to the window
|
||||
In darkness you make out a spiralling shape
|
||||
Putting all reason aside you exchange
|
||||
What you got for a thing that's hypnotic and strange
|
||||
|
||||
The spiralling shape will make you go insane
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that groovy thing)
|
||||
But everyone wants to see that groovy thing
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that thing)
|
||||
|
||||
Don't spend the rest of your life wondering
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that thing)
|
||||
|
||||
Don't spend the rest of your life wondering
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that groovy thing)
|
||||
Don't spend the rest of your life wondering
|
||||
(Everyone wants to see that thing)
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
And <a href="http://www.stormloader.com/carver/gutrazda/bagmebloma.html">Bagme Bloma</a>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
|
|||
%title Some thoughts and ideas.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-17 21:34:51
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I ordered a tarot deck (plain old Rider Waites to start with) online. I'm not sure how things go in the way of conflicts, but I wanted a sealed one just in case, and I wanted it at a fairly reasonable price. I plan on doing a daily reading thing - draw a card, think about what it represents, and, throughout the day, keep that idea in mind - if only just to learn the cards. I'm starting to see just how tarot 'works,' along with horoscopes and the like; or, at least, how I think they'd work for me. My mom (engineer) always discounted tarot and other 'fortune telling scams' to being too general, and I mostly agreed. I guess I still do, but now I don't see that as such a bad thing. The way I see it, this general meaning/story produced by the reading of the cards isn't so much portentious as a way to help you help yourself When you look at the cards in relation to a specific question, they can help show you a new way to think about it, or perhaps think up some ways to answer the question yourself (the guide I'm reading uses the term Inner Guide, which I think fits quite well).
|
||||
|
||||
Motto: it's only magic if you make it so. Mind you, I didn't say anything about 'making it so' being impossible. :o)
|
||||
|
||||
My Deep Rooted Hatred © of Teh Rev disturbs me. I can understand not liking the man's teaching methods, or even his conversational methods, but lately I've been disliking him as a person, which is something I don't feel all that often. Recently, as in the past few years, I've tried to keep it to just things I dislike about people instead of people themselves, but each day compounds to my disrespect of the man. Mind you, it has little to do with the choirs themselves, since I like singing and he does produce a very good result.. It's just such a painful process getting there.
|
||||
|
||||
<lj user="senotay"></lj> lent me her Excel Saga manga (1 & 2). I nearly got in trouble in biology for laughing so hard at a <a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/images/hyatt-blood.jpg">particular scene</a>. I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR, DAMNIT! I'm not sure others found it quite so funny, though, and I garnered a few strange glances. Dear lord I'm becoming obsessed.. I downloaded the Excel Saga theme tonight..
|
||||
|
||||
Tomorrow, at OASOS, we'll be watching a movie. Perfect for piles. Shall go out with Teh Moondoggie beforehand, along with Kelleh.
|
||||
|
||||
ESSAY, DAMNIT. I need to be working on that, instead of this. Thus, off I go.
|
||||
|
||||
Edit: Also...
|
||||
<p><center><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/_eric_m_/101094.html"><img border="0" src="http://ranna.bolognia.net/images/LuckyCharms.jpg"/></a><br/><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/_eric_m_/101094.html">Frosted Lucky Charms are magically delicious.</a></center></p>
|
||||
|
||||
That is.. they are MALICIOUSLY DELICIOUS!!!1queue (This was purely for entertainment value. No opinions were harmed in the posting of this image.)
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
%title Umlauts Make Me Cry
|
||||
%date 2004-02-18 22:04:52
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I shall write a song with that as a title. Thanks to Alia.. Alea.. Kindra's sister; <em>Umlauts make me cry / diacritics make me die / es-tsets I can deal with / along with thorn and edh / but, lord only knows / umlauts make me cry.</em> Bluesey, ne? (Is 'ne' a remnant from latin? Some Euro-folks use no as a question word, is that from the latin ne?) Needs work, though.
|
||||
|
||||
I was all excited today, 'cause I was gonna see Moondog. Of course, I did, and it was exciting, but there was a Problem with Kelly about which I knew next to nothing, so that put a bit of a damper on the evening. That's between Moondog and Kelly, though, and I'll let them work it out. Mostly, however, Moondog just tickled me (or tried to, depending on how on my guard I was) and/or <lj user="vulpinepilot"></lj> (poor <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj> wasn't feeling so hot and didn't come.. *luv*). The night ended with her having a big argument with Kelly and coming out of it rather worse for the wear. We parted soon after, and now I'm kinda worried for her. I'm hoping she'll be alright.
|
||||
|
||||
Tuesday, Moondog asked if we were 'together', for lack of a better word, and, since I'm pretty sure I feel that way, I said yes, but upon reading her journal (one of my daily rituals is to read everyone's journal, even if there's nothing new *OCD*) I found out she's going through some of the same fears I am (mainly of hurting/being hurt by someone), though she seems to be having a tougher time of it. To be honest, I've mostly been distracted; too much Revier and school. Even so, though, I'm gonna try not to focus on that. I'd rather just try and be the best I can for her, so that, hopefully, we don't have to deal with those fears *luv*. Also, she asked (today at coffee) whether or not we should be open about the whole.. relationship (mateship? Is mate a good word in this case?) thing at OASOS. I wasn't sure then, but now I suppose that it'd be alright with me. It's not like it isn't fairly obvious already; and besides, it's a good thing, a happy thing, and I don't think hiding it's particularly useful.. Hopefully, though, there aren't any that will react like Danny did: rather violently.
|
||||
|
||||
Other than that, today was an agonizing stretch of Revier all the way through, interspersed with depressing moments of math and bio. Tomorrow is the fourth quarter run-through, so I have to actually stay. Save me..
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
%title We must go out.. and dance around..
|
||||
%date 2004-02-19 18:27:47
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Urg. After yesterday being what it was, going to school was exactly what I didn't want to be doing today, but I had to for some reason or another. I got there early for sectionals, where we got in trouble with Revier for not doing a whole lot. After that, I followed Shannon to art instead of going to public speaking. I hung around there with Shannon and Ryan until I was justafiably kicked out by Ms. Harmon. The whole time, Ryan was trying to convince me to go home, 'cause I felt like smoo. So I took his advice and went back home instead of continuing on to public speaking.
|
||||
|
||||
At home, things came down in a tumble on me (metaphorically). I felt like something just hasn't been right for the last few weeks, like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. Conflicting with that was the thought that perhaps I'm just starting to see what I really am and let that be seen, instead of hiding behind this avatar of normality. There were other thoughts, about Shannon and Wendy and Ryan and choir, and before I knew it, I had a good sized slice on my left arm, and a razor blade in my right hand. It's been a long time since I've cut myself, and I can't believe I did it today. Luckily, it was a clean and shallow one that I should be able to hide easily with long sleeves. I'm still not sure why the hell I did that, but oh well. What's done is done.
|
||||
|
||||
After that dumb escapade, I showered and went to lie down, planning on waking up in time for fourth period so that I wouldn't miss that. However, I gave up on that plan and turned off my alarm clock, figuring I'd get up in time for closer rehearsal. My mom woke me up at around 11:40 (about when lunch ends), and asked if I'd caught that cold that was going around. Not willing to explain, I just nodded, and she went ahead and excused me for the day. I ended up waking up again at around one, so I got up, wolfed down some miso, and headed off to creative writing so that I could turn in my essay (which I decided to make about the dog show last sunday) and watch a creepy video about balloons. By closer, I started to cheer up some, but I was still tired, as I am even now. Closer went fine, as did the Act I 4th Quarter rehearsal today, which Insomniac was in.
|
||||
|
||||
Now I'm working on bio homework and pondering tomorrow. Have my flute speech then. I need to talk to Moondog about maybe doing something next weekend, since I won't be able to see her wednesday (<lj user="breakfastfox"></lj> and <lj user="vulpinepilot"></lj>, I shan't be able to drive you to group, since I've got rehearsal until way late), and my mom will be out of town then. Then until next tuesday.. Hmm.. and I've got a friday off in there somewhere, too..
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
|
|||
%title From Mala.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-19 18:58:01
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Step 1: Open your MP3 player.
|
||||
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
|
||||
Step 3: Write down the first twenty songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing
|
||||
|
||||
<details text="..."><summary>...</summary>
|
||||
<lj-raw>
|
||||
<ol>
|
||||
<li>Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody</li>
|
||||
<li>PDQ Bach - Prelude to Einstein on the Fritz</li>
|
||||
<li>Shostakovitch - Symphony No. 5, mvt. 2, allegretto</li>
|
||||
<li>FHS Choirs - Enchantment - Lauda Jerusalem</li>
|
||||
<li>Miss Muffy and Da Muff Mob - You Know I Got Your Back... ( x.x )</li>
|
||||
<li>Citizen King - Better Days</li>
|
||||
<li>Alamaailman Vasarat - Kebab Tai Henki</li>
|
||||
<li>Monty Python - Swamp Castle</li>
|
||||
<li>Rachmaninoff - Piano Concerto No. 2, mvt. 1, moderato</li>
|
||||
<li>Bach - Well Tempered Klavier, book 1, No. 25, Prelude in F#</li>
|
||||
<li>Stravinsky - Le Sacre du Printemps, No. 12, Summoning of the Ancients</li>
|
||||
<li>Ani DiFranco - Here For Now</li>
|
||||
<li>Murrya Head - One Night in Bangkok</li>
|
||||
<li>Godspeed You Black Emperor! - Sleep</li>
|
||||
<li>St. Agnes High School - Praise the Lord</li>
|
||||
<li>Real Group - Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Swing</li>
|
||||
<li>Aretha Franklin - RESPECT</li>
|
||||
<li>Ranna, Ranna, Ranna, Ranna, and Ranna - Set a Seal (heh...)</li>
|
||||
<li>Mindless Self Indulgence - Unsociable Extended</li>
|
||||
<li>Kallisti - It Was</li>
|
||||
</ol>
|
||||
</lj-raw>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
|
||||
"Scrape forth such slogans from the vehicle of your soul, dear Excel - lest you belch fumes of pretense beneath a chromed and vulgar piety."
|
||||
--Il Palazzo
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,50 @@
|
|||
%title Remember this?
|
||||
%date 2004-02-20 18:04:12
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<strong>Feeling Fine</strong>
|
||||
<details text="Lyricses"><summary>Lyricses</summary>
|
||||
<em>Falling falling, feeling fine,
|
||||
Finding forms and making mine.
|
||||
Pressing pressing, pushing past,
|
||||
Picking paths and falling fast.
|
||||
Running running, rarely rest,
|
||||
Run the risk and pass the test.
|
||||
Do it all and feel fine.
|
||||
Do it all and feel fine.
|
||||
|
||||
Feeling fine, feeling fine,
|
||||
Done it all and feeling fine.
|
||||
Mustn’t stop, mustn’t stop,
|
||||
Done it all, I’m feeling fine.
|
||||
|
||||
Push on, push on, don’t slow up,
|
||||
Push on, push on, push on past.
|
||||
Run on, run on, don’t fuck up,
|
||||
Run on, run on, run on fast.
|
||||
Hurry on, scurry on, speed on up,
|
||||
Hurry on, scurry on, don’t be last.
|
||||
Do it all and feel fine.
|
||||
Don’t forget to feel fine.
|
||||
|
||||
Feeling fine, feeling fine,
|
||||
Done it all and feeling fine.
|
||||
Mustn’t stop, mustn’t stop,
|
||||
Done it all, I’m feeling fine.
|
||||
|
||||
Tried and tried, I tried and tried,
|
||||
Ran the risk, failed the test.
|
||||
Lied and lied, I lied and lied,
|
||||
Picked my path and fell through fast.
|
||||
Died and died, I died and died,
|
||||
Found my form and made it last.
|
||||
|
||||
Feeling fine, feeling fine,
|
||||
Done it all and feeling fine.
|
||||
Mustn’t stop, mustn’t stop,
|
||||
Done it all, I’m feeling fine.
|
||||
Mustn’t stop, I’m feeling fine.</em>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
I'll post something more meaningful later.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,101 @@
|
|||
%title Mlegh is not a word. YET!!2
|
||||
%date 2004-02-20 22:50:58
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Today flew by. Mostly.
|
||||
|
||||
Excal: sucked.
|
||||
Public speaking: did my flute speech, sucked, but not as bad.
|
||||
Math: sat around, bitched, whined. Didn't suck all that much.
|
||||
History: took notes, tried to hide in the crook of my elbow from Carl.
|
||||
Festival: quite fun, actually; <lj user="senotay"></lj>'s solothing sounded really good.
|
||||
Latin: went, then left and hung out with <lj user="senotay"></lj> and <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj>. Hey, she told me to leave..
|
||||
Bio: went, then left. Hey, the room stunk, and she told us to leave..
|
||||
Creative writing: read children's books out loud.
|
||||
After: Dan was giving brief, probably not very well thought out tarot readings in the hall for money. I watched a little, then waited for <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj> for a while, then drifted to the balcony to see about some hullabaloo. Revier was hanging out with choirgeeks, but it smelled like bad feta, so I left. Drove to my dad's after that, where I sat around and thought about tarot and fuzzies.
|
||||
|
||||
None of the stuff I've ordered has come yet. Two All-State CDs, an All-State DVD, an All-State hoodie, a FLCL DVD, and two tarot decks (mind you, I only ordered one of them about an hour ago.. :oP). It makes me feel kinda bad. I shelled out the cash, and it seems like for nothing. I bet I'll get a bunch of stuff at once, and it'll feel really neat then.
|
||||
|
||||
Last night, Moondog and I talked about sex. Aaaand.. there's not a whole lot to write about there. I don't think so, at least. I'm tired, and the log's at my mom's. Not that it's any of your business, anyway ^^ Well, maybe it is, I don't know.
|
||||
|
||||
Finally, a spread:
|
||||
<details text="Boring hereafter."><summary>Boring hereafter.</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
<lj-raw>
|
||||
<a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/78spread.txt">A seventy-eight card spread</a> - described below for your reading enjoy...ment.. or something.
|
||||
<pre>
|
||||
Ranna's Wheel:
|
||||
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future, so the three
|
||||
wheels are really the same wheel depicted throughout time. The cards are laid
|
||||
out from past to future because, as you work from past to future, the
|
||||
possibilities for occurences to happen lessen, as do the possibilities of
|
||||
cards in the remaining deck. The past and future wheels roll away from the
|
||||
present, in the way the cards are laid out (counter-clockwise for past,
|
||||
clockwise for future). This is a work in progress.
|
||||
|
||||
3 sets of circles: past, present, future
|
||||
Concentric circles: internal, external, chaos
|
||||
Two cards as dynamics in circles
|
||||
|
||||
78/3 = 26
|
||||
-2 (dynamics +)
|
||||
= 24
|
||||
-4 (chaos *)
|
||||
= 20
|
||||
-8 (external x)
|
||||
= 12
|
||||
-12 (internal o)
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
PAST PRESENT FUTURE
|
||||
|
||||
o o o
|
||||
o x o o x o o x o
|
||||
o x * x o o x * x o o x * x o
|
||||
o x * + * x o o x * + * x o o x * + * x o
|
||||
o x * x o o x * x o o x * x o
|
||||
o x o o x o o x o
|
||||
o o o
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Placement:
|
||||
Past: Chaos ring is placed first, starting at the top and working
|
||||
counter-clockwise. Next, the horizontal card of dynamic is placed.
|
||||
Then the external ring is placed, starting at the top and working
|
||||
counter-clockwise. Following that, the vertical card of the dynamic is
|
||||
placed. Finally, the internal ring is placed, starting at the top and working
|
||||
counter-clockwise.
|
||||
|
||||
Present: Chaos ring is placed first, starting with the top card, then the
|
||||
bottom, then the left, then the right. Next, the vertical card of the dynamic
|
||||
is placed. Then the external ring is placed, starting with the top card, then
|
||||
bottom, then left, then right, then upper left, then lower right, then upper
|
||||
right, then lower left. Following that, the horizontal card of the dynamic is
|
||||
placed. Finally, the internal ring is placed, starting with the top card,
|
||||
then bottom, then the upper left top, then the lower right bottom, then the
|
||||
upper right top, then the lower left bottom, then then lower left top, then
|
||||
upper right bottom, then lower right top, then upper left bottom, and finally,
|
||||
leftmost, then rightmost. (basically, top-bottom, then the X made by the four
|
||||
cards closest to the top and bottom cards, then the X made by the four cards
|
||||
closest to the righ and left cards, then right-left)
|
||||
|
||||
Future: Chaos ring is placed first, starting at the top and working clockwise.
|
||||
Next, the vertical card of dynamic is placed. Then the external ring is
|
||||
placed, starting at the top and working clockwise. Following that, the
|
||||
horizontal card of the dynamic is placed. Finally, the internal ring is
|
||||
placed, starting at the top and working clockwise.
|
||||
|
||||
Reading:
|
||||
Read in order of placement. The chaos ring deals with variables that are
|
||||
caused more by chaos, rather than intention, i.e. unintended reactions. The
|
||||
external ring deals with external influences acting against the subject. The
|
||||
internal ring deals with variables relating to the Self. The irony is not
|
||||
lost on me that there are fewer chaotic variables than internal, and that the
|
||||
internal ring is outside of the external.
|
||||
|
||||
This section has yet to be completed. I need to flesh out what the placement
|
||||
of the cards mean, pretty much. Axes to organize things, so that card positions
|
||||
apply to all three rings. Must think on this a little more deeply.
|
||||
</pre>
|
||||
</lj-raw>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
%title Rrg.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-21 11:44:46
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Missed Moondog last night. Fell asleep without turning Trillian off, which led to a whole bunch of messages. Sorry, peoples.. er.. and fuzzies...
|
||||
|
||||
Speaking of sleep, I slept for thirteen hours with a little baggie under my pillow. It's a special little baggie now. I made it myself.
|
||||
<j-cut></j-cut>
|
||||
Unfortunately true about the computers.. need to get away from them some..
|
||||
<img alt="Thomas" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/G/Gaius37/1043591241_tuffthomas.gif"/><br/>Thomas
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Gaius37/quizzes/What%20ASB%20Character%20Are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">What ASB Character Are You?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
%title Hee.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-21 20:33:31
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<img alt="" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/1033525068_domtsuzuki.jpg"/><br/>You are Tsuzuki.
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Kyoukun/quizzes/Which%20Yami%20no%20Matsuei%20Character%20are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Yami no Matsuei Character are You?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway, played pool and shuffleboard today with the fatherfigure. It was quite fun. Should be doing math homework now, but.. well, I';m not ^.^
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title o.o
|
||||
%date 2004-02-21 22:03:13
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
A pool's been started on when <a href="http://moondogdragon.blogspot.com">Moondog</a> and I will have sex >.@ I don't know whether to feel loved, offended, or joyous at the fact that I get a cut of the winning bet.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
|
|||
%title Reikification
|
||||
%date 2004-02-23 00:42:41
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Ahh.. weekends. Time for blessed sleep. Or.. not, in my case :oP Saturday night, I woke up every half hour for a good six hours, then every hour for two more until my alarm went off. I reset my alarm and got two <strong>real</strong> hours of sleep before I had to get up to get to a rehearsal for "Insomniac." I wasn't nearly as amused by that then as I am now, but I wasn't nearly as awake :o)
|
||||
|
||||
After the non-productive rehearsal came the highlight of the day: Reiki training and attunement. This wasn't something I'd been planning on doing but, when <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj> provided me with the opportunity, I sort of flopped on it (jumping is too strong of a word; I was tired). I arrived a little late to find Breakfastfox, <lj user="vulpinepilot"></lj>, and Nick all sitting on the porch step waiting(?). So, we headed inside to meet our instructor and start the learning process. We were to be attuned both to the first and second degrees in one day (easier, considering our age), and we had a good deal to learn about energies and symbols (not symbowls, as I kept writing x.x) before the actual attunement.
|
||||
|
||||
After learning the three symbols for the second degree, we took a break that consisted of strawberries, rice crackers, and poppy seed bread while our instructor got ready for the attunement itself. We goofed around for a while each of us was being attuned separately, first VulpinePilot, then Breakfastfox, then Nick, and me last. The attunement itself was indescribable, but the most vivid memory I have is that I had this sort of after image effect going, where I saw our instructor outlined in a very bright purple. Never mind the fact that my eyes were closed at the time. There was a bit more of that with Breakfastfox's mom, except the color was an orangish gold, but the effect dissipated soon after. I have to think about it more before I jump to conclusions; I was facing into the sun (well, bright window in dark room) with the instructor, and Breakfastfox's mom was silhouetted in a different window.
|
||||
|
||||
After running around, we practiced a bit on each other (or tried to; Breakfastfox kept laughing :oP) before I had to leave. I headed home so that my mom and I could go out to dinner. We tried to go to a new restaurant next to Sushi Zanmai, but it was kinda.. crappy, so we went to Sushi Zanmai itself and had our fill there. The whole time, my hands were almost unbearably hot, which I'm attributing to the Reiki earlier, since they got about as hot there, while practicing.
|
||||
|
||||
Aaaaanyway, I went to bed at around nine after doing FAFSA with mommy dearest, and woke up at around 12:45 with my hand excruciatingly asleep, and here I am, discussing the pool with Moondog, and writing this. Still haven't done much homework. I'll start now.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,82 @@
|
|||
%title Survey thingy.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-23 01:50:01
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
A B O U T . . .
|
||||
[my name is]: Matt, Ranna
|
||||
[in the morning I am]: Singing
|
||||
[all I need is]: Friends
|
||||
[love is]: patient, love is kind, love is not jealous, nor rude, it does not insist on it's own way; love is not irritable, resentful, it does not rejoice at wrong, but love rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes, hopes, endures all things. Love never ends.
|
||||
[if I could see one person right now]: Moondog
|
||||
[I'm afraid of]: myself, getting hurt, hurting others, and spiders
|
||||
[I dream about]: I don't remember
|
||||
|
||||
H A V E Y O U E V E R . . .
|
||||
[pictured your crush naked?]: Mmhm.
|
||||
[actually seen your crush naked]: Nope.
|
||||
[been in love]: Yup.
|
||||
[cried when someone died]: Yes.
|
||||
[drank alcohol]: Yeah. I have a low opinion of it.
|
||||
[lied]: Too much.
|
||||
[coke or pepsi]: Coke
|
||||
[flowers or candy]: Chocolate coated little children. I hear they're really tasty with almonds and honey.
|
||||
|
||||
W I T H T H E O P P O S I T E S E X . . .
|
||||
[what do you notice first?]: Um.. their laugh, I suppose.
|
||||
[last person you slow danced with]: Eheh. Urg.. I haven't, with a guy, and Paula Creevy, I suppose, for girl..
|
||||
[worst thing to say]: Say? Well, I can tell you not to mess with their hair..
|
||||
[tall or short]: Most people are shorter than me, so I don't care, really.
|
||||
|
||||
W H O . . .
|
||||
[makes you laugh the most?]: Breakfastfox. :o)
|
||||
[makes you smile]: Moondog, Senotay, Sarah, Kiran, Jerred, Kory.. lots of people ^^
|
||||
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: Moondog.
|
||||
[has a crush on u?]: Moondog, Jim.
|
||||
[easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: Dogs. Boys and girls are about on the same level.
|
||||
|
||||
D O Y O U E V E R . . .
|
||||
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. u?]: Occasionally
|
||||
[save aol/aim conversations]: Yes. For prosperity.
|
||||
[cried because of someone saying something to you]: Yup, and vice versa. Same person, too.
|
||||
|
||||
H A V E Y O U E V E R . . .
|
||||
[fallen for your best friend]: Definitely.
|
||||
[been rejected]: Of course.
|
||||
[rejected someone]: Yup.
|
||||
|
||||
[used someone]: Uh.. not conciously, but subconciously, yeah.
|
||||
[been cheated on]: Um.. hmm. I suppose so, but it was a twisted story.
|
||||
[done something you regret]: Of course.
|
||||
|
||||
W H O W A S T H E L A S T P E R S O N . . .
|
||||
[you talked to]: Moondog
|
||||
|
||||
[hugged]: Ur.. I hug lots of people..
|
||||
[you instant messaged]: Moondog
|
||||
[you laughed with]: Breakfastfox
|
||||
|
||||
D O Y O U . . .
|
||||
[color your hair]: Nope
|
||||
[habla espanol]: I took a year of spanish.. once..
|
||||
|
||||
H A V E Y O U / / D O Y O U / / A R E Y O U
|
||||
[smoke]: First hand smoke makes me quite ill.
|
||||
[obsessive]: Yup.
|
||||
[could you live without the computer?]: For a little while, but then I'd SHRIVEL UP AND DIE!!! Well.. no, I suppose I couldn't.
|
||||
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: Lots and lots, but I rarely talk to more than five.
|
||||
[what's your favorite food?]: Urm.. not sure. I like lots of foods.
|
||||
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: Persimmons
|
||||
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: Emotional.
|
||||
[trust others way too easily?]: Just easily enough, thank you.
|
||||
|
||||
F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S . . .
|
||||
[I want]: Moondog. And rest. And for this week to be over.
|
||||
[I wish]: It was saturday.
|
||||
[I love]: Everything.
|
||||
[I miss]: Innocence
|
||||
[I fear]: Lonliness, and hurting others.
|
||||
[I hear]: That little children are especially good on crackers with cheese and a nice chianti..
|
||||
[I wonder]: Why some people have drivers licenses.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
|
|||
%title La be da me ni po tu la be.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-23 18:34:29
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Woke up feeling fairly fine, though a little groggy and grumpy from very little sleep and maybe something from the attunement. Revier was downright angry today, which transfered on to me more easily than usual. I didn't realize until, by the end of second period, I was doubled over in an abdomnial pain that lasted until just about an hour ago (6:30). The pain distracted me too much to do reiki, I think, and I can barely remember any of the day, other than at one point, I got up to leave festival 'cause I felt sick, and Revier yelled at me. Not wishing to face such ire, I got a drink and sat outside the choir room for about ten minutes. Apparently, while I was gone, he yelled about me to the class. Whatever. Closer ran late, as usual, and I went home afterwards to shower and get dressed for Act I run through. My mom gave me a pill for irritable bowel syndrome, which started to take effect about halfway through Insomniac (which nearly flopped, since PETER AND SAGE WEREN'T ON STAGE). I guess this means that what happened was an abdominal muscle spasm ('a stitch in my side' type deal, except it was in my front and lasted a long time). Yay. Funness.
|
||||
|
||||
In other news, my FLCL DVD arrived, along with my Aquarian deck. I did a quick reading, just to see. Since the cards were quite new, I'm gonna take this reading with a grain of salt, though it does offer some good advice. Also, I'll describe it, which I probably won't do so much in the future. From a conversation with <lj user="breakfastfox"></lj>:
|
||||
|
||||
<em>Ranna: Covering me: 9 of rods reversed - This is me, I suppose. It represents distress or obstacles.
|
||||
Crossing me: The moon - Working against me; unforseen perils, often involving loved ones.
|
||||
Above me: 10 of cups reversed - Concious influences; loss of harmony, anger, guilt.
|
||||
Beneath me: 10 of rods reversed - Unconcious influences; conflict, intrigue.
|
||||
Behind me: 10 of pentacles reversed - Past influences; block on family, money.
|
||||
Before me: 7 of cups - Future influences; Strong imagination and desires, but lacking in tenacity, thus limited attainment.
|
||||
Myself: Wheel reversed - The quality of my involvement leads to the measure of my reward.
|
||||
Environment: Fool - Positive inner forces.
|
||||
Hopes and fears: King of rods - Honest, loyal, conscientious, just, often married.
|
||||
Outcome: Ace of pentacles - Contentment, bliss, ecstacy, quick intelligence, wealth.
|
||||
Ranna: So.. uh.. I guess I should do my homework :o)
|
||||
Vixen: Heehee. Heheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheheeheheeh.
|
||||
Vixen: That reminds me, I should shift my bet to this weekend ;3
|
||||
Vixen: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
|
||||
Ranna: Hopes and fears was strange. Am I afraid of getting married?
|
||||
Ranna: Oh dear..
|
||||
Ranna: Hee..
|
||||
Vixen: I dunnae. Can you interpret them either way?
|
||||
Ranna: I suppose so. I'm not sure I really fear any of those things..
|
||||
Vixen: Never know until you get to them. ^.^
|
||||
Vixen: I wonder if it could also mean stuff like, "You fear that you're not _____ enough"
|
||||
Ranna: Tha's twoo.
|
||||
Ranna: I'm gonna at least get started on my bio homework. Ace of pentacles spurs me on!!!$(&%@#</em>
|
||||
|
||||
Notice that half the cards are reversed. This I might attribute to shuffling, but the three tens, all reversed? The cards were arranged by suit. Each ten was thirteen cards away from the next, and I'm not <strong>that</strong> precise of a shuffler.. Ah well. This is neat stuff. I'm not sure yet whether I'd call it portentious, but it certainly does provide a new look on problems and situations.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Foof.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-24 20:41:03
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Today was long, from sectionals at 6:30, to rehearsal, which ended at 8. 13.5 hours, with two breaks, one when I left latin (if she's not gonna teach, I'm not gonna learn) and one while mad's rehearsed, dropping the day back down to 12 hours. I'm tired of this. I wanna see Moondog again. Ah well. Thursday, then Saturday night (with this cast, though, strike might last into sunday morning; I hope it doesn't last too long). Can't wait..
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
|
|||
%title Todayishness.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-25 19:42:05
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Today was decidedly today. It was long, and full of stuff. The usual stuff that goes on on wednesdays. Choir, math, choir, bio, choir choir choir choir choir... Urg. I like singing, but I'll be FREAKING GLAD WHEN THIS BULLSHIT IS OVER. ^.^
|
||||
|
||||
Moondog. Thursday. Saturday night; I suppose I'll call her when I think strike's nearly finished, so that she can drive down to my house. If strike lasts longer, maybe we could meet at the school. Whatever.
|
||||
|
||||
Deep conversation with Ryan. Real deep.
|
||||
|
||||
Kory just asked if it was okay that he touched my neck. He likes to watch me melt. Becker tried, I nearly punched him. Trust seems to be an important factor in this.
|
||||
|
||||
I need to work on the spread some.
|
||||
|
||||
Lurf.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
%title Tonzura koite!!
|
||||
%date 2004-02-26 22:25:16
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Yay! One down, two to go! No sectionals, too! Life's looking up :oP
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
Today was pretty good. Left public speaking a little early to go sing Insomniac over the announcements. I'll sing Li'l Red tomorrow. After that, the day was peachy. Went out with Shannon for lunches, then went home and nearly passed out after a shower, until my mom startled me awake, then I was nearly asleep again until Moondog startled me awake. She arrived early, but I wasn't complaining. We sorta laid around for a while, since she was operating on no sleep and I was operating on no energy. Then there was Pops, which was pretty uneventful as far as Pops goes. Too long as usual. Anna gave me flowers, which was really nice, and I gave them to Moondog, since I'd forget to water them. After, she had to depart to go home and sleep, but she kept stalling. She tastes like rootbeer and cloves.
|
||||
|
||||
<img border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/Y/yoya/1075152552_Asweet1.gif"/><br/>You're gonna slip in the shower 'cause of a hand-made<br/>soap
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/yoya/quizzes/Choose%20your%20dramatic%20death/"> <font size="-1">Choose your dramatic death</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Muh.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-27 17:28:59
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
School really wasn't all that great, now that I think back on it. I'm amazed I can feel like I'm having a lot of fun while I'm there, then get home and realize how much I really don't like that place. Revier was in a good mood, at least. He tried to run Steph P. over with a baby grand piano with an expression that was somehow both vacuous and angry. Had a slight pack with Andrew and Ryan at anime while watching something goofy. After, I walked around the house naked and ate pizza (it's amazing what you feel like doing when you know you have the house to yourself). I took a drive to get some air, too, but it smelled like stale cigarette smoke. Pops tonight, Pops and strike tomorrow night, then I'll have a Moondog.
|
||||
|
||||
I'm so tired. It must be time for tea.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Hmm.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-28 10:23:21
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Got sick last night. The last time I threw up was when I tried smoking. It's strange.. I don't mean to make it sound like a pleasurable experience, but since the last time I'd demonized vomiting, and it wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be. I guess I mention this by way of asking, I wonder if I've done this in any other aspects in life?
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Yeee.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-28 17:25:23
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Wasn't sick today, so I went out and got chai and a chicken for lunch/dinner. My all-state cd arrived, along with the Animal Lords tarot deck I ordered.
|
||||
|
||||
Pops is nearly eclipsed by the fact that Moondog's coming over tonight. Nearly. I still have to go, mind you.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
|
|||
%title Yooof.
|
||||
%date 2004-02-29 19:28:32
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Pops went fine. More tickling Kory (since I guess I'm the only one who can do it), and then strike. I made a fairly large tape-ball with scraps from the stage. I called Moondog at around 11:30 and ended up leaving at around 12. I kept thinking she'd show up any second, so I kept delaying taking a shower. When I finally did, of course, she showed up while I was still in there. Odd.. don't feel like writing much about this.
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway, She ended up staying about 17 hours, four of which were spent not in the bed or on the futon, and four of which were spent sleeping. That leaves nine hours for snuggling and frottage while Hank looked at us funny and Hobbes tried to lay on top. We went to Abo's and Cafe Sole for lunch; she ordered a chai, so they gave her a cider. We went to 14th St. Bar & Grill for dinner. When she left, she tasted like vanilla and cloves.
|
||||
|
||||
In other news...
|
||||
Shanerak: When's your graduation?
|
||||
RannaFox: May 31 I believe..
|
||||
Shanerak: Hmm.
|
||||
RannaFox: Hmm>
|
||||
RannaFox: ?
|
||||
Shanerak: Yeah
|
||||
Shanerak: I dunno, maybe I'll come c.c
|
||||
RannaFox: Really? That'd be way cool..
|
||||
Shanerak: I'll see, yeah.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
%title Hmm.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-01 22:27:59
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
My body's rebelling.
|
||||
|
||||
I feel a little like a failure. The worst kind, the biological kind. The kind with no chance of success.
|
||||
|
||||
But, I know that's just Mr. Pessimism, and that everything will be okay. Better than okay, things will be wonderful ^^
|
||||
|
||||
In other news, today was pretty good.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Fweeep.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-03 21:24:01
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Grooooooup toniiiiiiight. Got to see Moondog, who left her own bite marks on me, since mine left her a little bruised. Mostly, she tickled me to death, though, along with everybody freaking else!!3 Things seemed a little awkward with others around, but that's okay, I suppose. *luv to her* Ryan and Andrew both seemed a little awkward, too, though that may have been imagination. *luv to them, too*
|
||||
|
||||
Other than that, life's been slow, but good. I still feel like I'm hiding/denying/something part of myself, and I'm getting the idea that it might have something to do with spirituality, and that the feeling may be my inner skeptic clamoring. Being raised by two engineers leads to doom.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
%title Hmm.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-05 01:01:19
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
This recording takes the 'second' Libera Me really fast, and pull it off quite well... except for the brass, which gets far too loud at times.
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway to.. uh.. yesterday was kinda boring. Endless school, with droning teachers. Mind you, there were good parts, such as a discussion on No Child Left Behind and the implications of it in history, and the fourth amendment in creative writing. After that, there was another Gloria rehearsal, in which random stuff happened, and Revier made faces while Mr. Wallace conducted. After, I dropped Shannon off and went to pick up some food at Deli zone. Shortly after, I fell asleep - at around six - and woke up at around 12:30. Talking to Moondoggy now.
|
||||
|
||||
Tomorrow, Shannon, Ryan, Kiran and I were going to go play pool at the Wynkoop, but it's snowed a good deal, and it's still sorta coming down. I think I'll offer movies instead. I hope they don't mind c.c
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
%title Glurr.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-05 21:35:52
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Huzzah for mood swings. Back to the fish oil I go!
|
||||
|
||||
Today was fun. First, sectionals and rehearsal, then breakfast, where Spencer Bowie tried to eat a spoonful of butter, and ended up getting quite sick 'cause he wouldn't swallow it. Much pool at the CU-UMC with Ryan, Kiran, and Shannon, then a movie (which, while it had an interesting plot, was such standard fare that I forgot the name. It started with a T...), then Anime Anonymous, where we saw Azumanga Daioh. Ryan was mleh on the way to his house (don't appologize, I know the feeling). I purchased an ounce of fine Lady Grey today. Making a little now. Too bad an ounce seems so small..
|
||||
|
||||
(Later) The tea is quite tasty, worth the money. I miss Moondog. Crackers are salty.
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
<img alt="I'm Mihama Chiyo!" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/E/EvilNaokiIIDX/1038472904_sult-chiyo.jpg"/><br/>You are Mihama Chiyo!
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/EvilNaokiIIDX/quizzes/Which%20Azumanga%20Daioh%20Character%20are%20you%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Azumanga Daioh Character are you?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Myeep.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-06 15:31:19
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
A few minutes after the last post, Sam IM'd me to tell me that Moondog was feeling bad, and that I should call her, invite her over, and have sex with her. So I did the first bit of that (calling her), and eventually ended up going over to Kelly's to spend the night. It was fun, there was snuggling and a really, really gory movie, Battle Royale, and then Moondog and I stole the bed, making Kelly and Sam sleep on the floor. I actually got some sleep this time, even though Samir was watching Love Hina. Some stuff in the morning. I left when Moondog got up for work, since I figured I had to go to my dad's eventually. Tonight, there's gonna be a big meat dinner thing. Glad I got to see the Moondoggy outside of group again.
|
||||
|
||||
Now, downloading Azumanga Daioh - 01, Doris Day - Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps, Cake - Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
|
|||
%title From Ryan.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-06 16:43:52
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Test thingie from Ryan! Fill in answers about the person you got this from, then you put the entire thing as a comment. Don't feel obligated to answer this; you can just copy and put on your own livejournal.
|
||||
|
||||
01. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
|
||||
02. Am I lovable?
|
||||
03. How long have you known me?
|
||||
04. When and how did we first meet?
|
||||
05. What was your first impression?
|
||||
06. Do you still think that way about me now?
|
||||
07. What do you think my weakness is?
|
||||
08. Do you think I'll ever get married?
|
||||
09. What makes me happy?
|
||||
10. What makes me sad?
|
||||
11. What reminds you of me?
|
||||
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
|
||||
13. How well do you know me?
|
||||
14. When's the last time you saw me?
|
||||
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
|
||||
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
|
||||
17. Describe me in one word.
|
||||
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
|
||||
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
|
||||
20. Are you going to put this on your LJ and see what I say about you?
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
%title Fromafuzzy.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-07 19:49:26
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Test!
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
<img alt="Yellow Vibes" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/W/waywardpixie/1078266322_ergyyellow.jpg"/><br/>Your Energy is Yellow. You are generous, bright,<br/>and expressive. An excellent communicator, you<br/>keep your audience captivated with your<br/>animated storytelling. Sometimes you talk too<br/>much, but when you learn to listen you will be<br/>sought out for your talents to advise.
|
||||
|
||||
The communications field appeals to you as a<br/>profession. Public speaking, writing, radio,<br/>acting or teaching would also be good career<br/>choices.
|
||||
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/waywardpixie/quizzes/What%20color%20is%20your%20energy%3F/"> <font size="-1">What color is your energy?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Kowareta tokei wo shinjite jikan wa dare no mikata?
|
||||
%date 2004-03-08 00:54:18
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Mmmnnnghhh. Homework! I actually did all of it this time. IB Lab due tomorrow, as well as a FLCL speech, National Latin Exam, and Math homework test. Nothing much other than that. Drunken dinnerparty saturday night. My dad decided to cook a whole lot of meat. I didn't mind at all :o) Tim Toner won $60 in Shut the Box, and he gave me $20 'for my next date.' Sorry, fuzzy, I used it to buy gas instead c.c Kinda needed to get back to my mom's. Speaking of, she returned from Costa Rica today. I got a shirt that says "Just do it later" a bunch of chocolate, and a wood box. I suppose I'll hear about how she wants to retire there tomorrow. CSAPs next week. Tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, I don't have to get to school until 11, so maybe I could do some stuff.
|
||||
|
||||
Today, I watched Azumanga Daioh eps. 1-2 (downloaded), FLCL ep. 1, and an ep. of Yami no Matsuei. I must inflict Azumanga Daioh on others ^^
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
%title Nnghghgheee
|
||||
%date 2004-03-08 18:53:27
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
After three hours of sleep, I got up feeling pretty good, and that feeling continued through most of the day (excepting, as usual, choir). Did my FLCL speech (or, rather, I bullshitted it), and got pretty good comments on it. Freaked a good number of people out. Then I annoyed Shannon and pestered Ryan in art before heading off to take the National Latin Exam instead of my math homework test. This meant I didn't have to go to Latin, so I dragged Ryan, Shannon, Kiran, and Kory out to lunch at Deli Zone, which was full, and thus, safeway. After school. I went home for a while, then sought out Ryan for Excel Saga, and ended up taking an incredibly strange walk after tea with him. I started melting into the earth in a non-physical manner, as well as projecting outwards and upwards, and I think I kinda freaked him out (well, I definately did when I was projecting outwards and went to bite his neck, whereupon he nearly fell into a pondlet (little pond!)). I also found five wands and two twisty sticks (which I lost).
|
||||
|
||||
Now I'm freaking my mom out with anime and about to take a shower, then bed. Waaaaay tired, still melty ^^ I kinda want to talk to Moondog, though. Curious about Sam stuffs and other things. Maybe later.
|
||||
|
||||
<a href="http://livejournal.com/users/breakfastfox/16996.html"></a>Ryan's perspective
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Umf.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-09 17:35:11
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Argh. I hate things being in limbo, surprisingly. As it turns out, my mom may or may not be getting laid off next month, which puts a whole lot of things in question. Of greatest impact to me, if she doesn't find a new job right away, my college plans may be altered. I might have to refile FAFSA (Of course, the due date for that at CSU was Mar. 1), get a job, etc. My mom has the money, but it's also her retirement, which means either she can't retire, or I have to help support her as soon as I start making money. In addition to that, we may end up moving to a smaller place as well.
|
||||
|
||||
In other news, today mostly sucked. I have a concert tonight. I shan't be gone long, we're up first, and I don't have to stay after that. Jim and Andrew want to come over for my graduation. I'm not sure how I feel about either. Jim wants to stay at my place, and I'm not sure my mom, much less I, would feel about that. Andrew might also lead to awkwardness if he stayed over, but less so, since he's done it before.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
|
|||
%title Curses!
|
||||
%date 2004-03-09 21:21:21
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Foiled again, by expenses! Whilst talking with Khieto, I learned that PPMP (a con in FL) was during my spring break, so I looked into going. Unfortunately, I found out too late, and the cheapest tickets I could find were $440. Add that to room, registration, and money.. egh. Oh well ^^
|
||||
|
||||
Edit:
|
||||
khieto: A concert eh? How did that go?
|
||||
RannaFox: Pretty good. Didn't feel too.. real, if that makes any sense.
|
||||
khieto: Didn't feel real? Hmm....
|
||||
khieto: Well that's usually surreal but that applies to situations where ... it was either really really amazingly good or bad.
|
||||
RannaFox: There wasn't any emotion attached to it. It was just kinda rote. Like I wasn't really there.
|
||||
khieto: Either you are bored or something was on your mind.
|
||||
RannaFox: I just had a concert two weeks ago, that might've been it. This just didn't feel as big, or something. I even forgot to tell my parents until earlier today.
|
||||
khieto: Oh. Was this a small concert then? I see now. This is an ego thing. ;)
|
||||
khieto: "*yawn* Small...concerts. Fine, lets get this over with."
|
||||
RannaFox: Are you diagnosing me? Tsk.
|
||||
RannaFox: Ego generally makes me feel guilty. This didn't make me feel anything.
|
||||
khieto: Well I'm not a professional so I'm just talking out of my rear here. Well let me ask you this......does not feeling anything about this concert....do you think it's a bad thing?
|
||||
khieto: Okay okay, no more analyzing. I'm no professional.
|
||||
RannaFox: I guess I've just tried to distance myself for choir for a while there.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
|
|||
%title Wah..?
|
||||
%date 2004-03-10 15:01:11
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
So much happened! Start with after I went to bed last night.
|
||||
|
||||
Whilst doing farreiki on an unnamed entity, I got stuck on position 4 of the head (head cradle) for about fifteen minutes and ended up unintentionally taking the problem into myself, which I quickly dispelled most of (left a bit of a migraine) by just letting it flow through and out of me. After that I spasmed for a while in bed, tensing up uncontrollably and writhing about in general goodness before <em>that</em> feeling left. Afterwards, I read some <u>Sins of Jesus</u> and went to bed, getting a whopping four hours of sleep.
|
||||
|
||||
This morning, I had an awful time waking up, but I eventually did it, making it to Shannon's on time to get everyone picked up for the BREAKFAST OF DOOM, whereupon we all ate ourselves sick and I spent money. We wandered around for a bit before ending up sprawled in a fire-escape at FHS with Shannon in my lap, me in Ryan's lap, and Andrew in Kiran's lap. Andrew ditched to go shooting with Ryan and Kiran, while I went to bomb a history test. That's when things started getting really weird. I had a percoset relapse (whether that's what it was or not, it felt oddly similar to the real thing: an incurable itch buried beneath my skin, to the point where I can't actually scratch it) near the end of the period, and then in choir I imploded from empathy - so many emotions from others that I had no room for my own. Then, horns grew from my chest and head, and wings from my back; a giant fox escaped, left, and exploded into a thousand birds over Viele. Mind you, none of this really happened, but I sure felt strange. During latin, I exploded from empathy in a patchwork swirl of colors while Starin et al. stared on as I banged my head against the desk. Ms. Gibert didn't notice. I yelled for help inaudibly and searched out white points of light in the black silhouette of Boulder. I yelled at Ryan and searched for Moondog.
|
||||
|
||||
Afterwards, I figured out how to regain control (mostly) and just in time for the bell to ring. I got a small mocha at Cafe Sole, got eaten by small greenish crystals on a table while supposed psychics did fairy readings from a kids book, and here I am, about to take a shower and get ready for Great Works rehearsal, and then group, whereupon I shall request to Reiki Moondog (again) during the speakers board on gay marriage. Hopefully I don't ex-/im-plode again ^^
|
||||
|
||||
Help me..
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Nng ^^
|
||||
%date 2004-03-10 22:24:27
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
My neck hurts a little, but I suppose Moondog's does too. Feeling much better now, just a little.. energetically queasy every now and then (occasionally I'll lag behind myself, a dissociative effect I haven't felt since nutmeg *shudder*) I guess having rehearsal run an HOUR AND A HALF LONGER THAN I THOUGHT was a good way to ground myself, as well as having a very good group, and then hot chocolate afterwards with Samir (notSamnotSamnotSam..), Andrew, ...oh dear, I've forgotten his name, but he's quite nice!, and Moondog. I'll get yelled at about coming home late tomorrow ^^ Or maybe I won't. Great works!
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
|
|||
%title I found Painter Classic.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-11 10:18:54
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<img src="http://ranna.bolognia.net/isthatso.jpg"/>
|
||||
Is that so...
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Do.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-11 15:49:20
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I've created a community, <lj user="red_team"></lj>, upon <lj user="januszstrzepek"></lj>'s suggestion, for LJ people deemed appropriate. If you think you are, then go ahead and message me to let you in - I won't add anyone without their permission.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
%title Updated, because.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-12 17:05:36
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
<table align="center" bgcolor="#fff7e0" border="1"><tr><td align="center">My Furry Code<br/>
|
||||
<a href="http://www.vulpine.pp.se/cgi-bin/furcode?D=FCFp3admw+A+C-+D+H%2B%2B%2B+M%2B%2B%2B%2B+P%2B%2B%2B+R%2B+T+W%2A+Z+Sm%2B+RLET%2FM%2FS%2FU+a-+cblmn%2B%2B%2B+%21d+e-+f%2B%2B%2B+h%2A+i%2B%2B%2B+j%2B+p%2B%2B+sm%2B">
|
||||
FCFp3admw A C- D H+++ M++++ P+++ R+ T W* Z Sm+ RLET/M/S/U a- cblmn+++ !d e- f+++ h* i+++ j+ p++ sm+</a>
|
||||
</td></tr></table>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
|
|||
%title Meep.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-13 09:32:15
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Surprise trip to Tucson, Arizona today.
|
||||
|
||||
Surprise! :oP
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway, won't be on AIM or anything until tuesday, though I should still be able to get to LJ for stuffs. Hooray :oP
|
||||
|
||||
Here's some stuffs.
|
||||
<a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/gallery/album19/doodles">Doodles.</a>
|
||||
<a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/gallery/album19/aghrun">Agh, run!</a>
|
||||
Both from Brekky Fox (though I drew some of the doodles).
|
||||
|
||||
Oh yeah, http://ranna.ath.cx/ might go down while I'm gone. The battery in the UPS needs replacing, and apparently the UPS, even though it says it acts as a surge protector, needs the battery to do that. I returned today to find the server, modem and my big ol' monitor off, which was disappointing. Anyway, I'll look into replacing that battery o.O
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,67 @@
|
|||
%title Tha ta-ra-ra-ra ta-ra-ra-ra ta-ra-ra-ra do! Chum gheeeeeeeeee... do! Ha teeeeeeeeee... do! (fire!)
|
||||
%date 2004-03-16 18:41:52
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I now exist in the state of returnedness!
|
||||
|
||||
While I was away, I wrote in my Big Black Book (BBB), which I normally use for stories, but I wasn't willing to open my Little Black Book. I must remember to burn that over spring break.
|
||||
|
||||
<details text="A Quick One While You Were Away..."><summary>A Quick One While You Were Away...</summary>NB: <u>SiaSL</u> = <u>Stranger in a Strange Land</u>, <u>SoJ</u> = <u>Sins of Jesus</u>.
|
||||
<strong><u>Arizona</u></strong>
|
||||
<strong>03-13-04</strong>
|
||||
We arrived today via plane at around 3:45. My dad was pissed, I could tell. We ended up having to wait for the shuttle bus to take us to your rental car, and he was so angry at having to wait that he called customer service to complain. This anger continued through the drive from Phoenix to Tucson - most of which I did - as road rage: everything from people going too slow to people going too fast (though not much of that, Arizona seems to be a state of going the speed limit - my kind of place).
|
||||
|
||||
During all of this, I mostly tried to stay focused on other things, such as the scenery, and the strange coincidence that the two DJs on one of the radio stations were Mike and Craven Moorhead, both of which are Moondog's nicknames.
|
||||
|
||||
We arrived at grandma's at about 6:20; the first thing out of her mouth was a complaint about the rain. I can't understand such things, considering we've been in a drought for the past six or so years. Eventually, however, we made it inside (which never seems to change) where my dad remained pissed, ranting about the quality of the A/C installation, since the roof was leaking around the pipes. He and grandma commiserated about Aunt Sue, a budding hypochondriac, Apparently, Sue bought a house down here and had a reaction to the mold. Ever since, she's gotten steadily worse about every little thing, driving even unflappable grandma nuts. It sounds a little OCDish to me; kind of like what Kathy did with Chelsea.
|
||||
|
||||
After grandma tried to push food on us and failed, she went to bed and we went for a light dinner at Chuy's. What looked from the outside to be a goofy family restaurant turned out to be a sort of college hang-out, goofy bartenders, glaring colors, food served on paper plates. My dad drank while I goofed around with little plastic toys from the vending machines. Afterwards, we came home and watched a show about 'burbian Americans living with a family in Guyana, done in silly reality show style. I should've read <u>SiaSL</u> instead.
|
||||
|
||||
Grandma asked if I had a girlfriend, and I felt compelled to tell her the truth (because, I guess, I could for once), I told her yes, that her name was Wendy. I realized, perhaps too late, the implications of this: it's the first person outside of my open-minded group of friends that I've told about Moondog, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's not that I'm ashamed of her (what a silly thought), it's that I feel awkward with the question, as if I'm conceding to heterosexuality, even if I'm decidedly gay. I guess a good deal of my anxiety arises not from my relationship itself, but from the fact that it's not the norm for me, as well as the fact that it's the first I've been able to discuss (not in-depth, mind you) with most people and not be afraid of a homophobic response.
|
||||
|
||||
<strong>03-14-04</strong>
|
||||
The rattle in my chest is still there and atop it, a feverish feeling. The latter might just be the heat, but I'm worried about the former: I have secret fears of emphysema, hopefully this is not the case (I feel like Keats). If not for school, I'd have seen a doctor when Breakfast Fox suggested. Perhaps I'll have time Tuesday, or after school some time this week, I don't want to wait until spring break.
|
||||
|
||||
This morning, I awoke at around 7:30, but got up at around 8. Grandma cooked us breakfast while we watched Sunday Morning. We talked the morning away before we decided to drive out to see my cousin Stacy, her boyfriend, and uncle Bob. They were packing to sell the house in which Sue had her alleged reaction. After briefly pining over a flute and piccolo Sue was going to give away (because, you know, mold grows in silver flutes), my dad and I headed off to see a Rockies spring training game.
|
||||
|
||||
While driving there, I had quite a strong nostalgic moment reminiscing back to my time with Shanerak. Un a way, I suppose I really miss those times, the ones when we were together. I remembered our camping trip with Ty, and how, when he drove, the back seats of his van were down and either Ty or myself was lounged on an air mattress back there. I remember being so tired one day that I ended up napping with him until his dad showed up, and I was scared that I had outed him to his father. I remembered our brief sexual encounter and how uncomfortable I got - enough to the point where I decided to just forget about it afterwards, reclaim my virginity.
|
||||
|
||||
Those things are over now, though, and it's for the best I suppose. I still love him, but more as a brother, a good friend. We tried twice to be more before reality snipped the thread of hope of our being together. I have Moondog now, and it's for the best I suppose.
|
||||
|
||||
After the hot, though otherwise uneventful game, we stopped by the store for Bisquik, beer, and eggs - more breakfast tomorrow - returning home to grandma and (great) aunt Lou. Everyone got tipsy but me, and there was much rejoicing as we descended upon ribs with beans and potato salad.
|
||||
|
||||
We decided on movies for the night, and ended up getting Dreamcatcher, Wrong Turn, Whale Rider, and Secondhand Lions. Blockbuster didn't have Mystic River, grandma was sorely pissed. We watched Wrong Turn (odd, but predictable) and Dreamcatcher (quite odd, unpredictable, even scary) tonight. I'm off to bed now, here's hoping I feel better tomorrow.
|
||||
|
||||
<strong>03-15-04</strong>
|
||||
The little croup of last night passed a while after I lay down, thankfully, and there was only a little bit of coughing today. This was fortunate, as a coughing fit while going 75 down a desert highway would've probably frightened my dad.
|
||||
|
||||
We headed down to Nogales today - the supposed paradise border-town of my dad's college days has apparently transformed. Where once were onyx chess sets, there are now trinkets with little MADE IN CHINA stickers; where once skilled artisans plied shoppers with the fruits of their trade, now stand pharmacies. Pharmacies! Pharmacy after pharmacy hocking cheap drugs to the hypochondriacs/druggies wandering the streets.
|
||||
|
||||
As we passed the entry point, we were immediately hit by the noise. Men, women, and children offered us everything from Chiclets to "professional women." We made our way to what looked to be the cleanest and busiest restaurant where we had a fairly good meal. As I ate my tasty tacos, I realized just how salty we like our food, not just in Colorado, but America in general. After that was an uneventful excursion deeper into town before we left.
|
||||
|
||||
By the time we arrived back at grandma's, Stacy and her boyfriend, Mark, were already there, along with aunt Lou, who, along with grandma, quickly polished off a bottle of vodka and started another. There was a brief squabble over what kind of wine I liked (I don't really know, other than that Les Heretiques stuff, and the Fre stuff, I'm not sure I even like the rest, but out of the few we had, I liked the Chianti best - go figure) before we got to cooking. I nearly passed out with a brief case of food poisoning that was quickly resolved by laying down.
|
||||
|
||||
There was much conversation, but eventually that diminished with departures until only my dad and I were left with a sleeping grandma. We watched Secondhand Lions, I read a bit, and here I am, having finished another glass of wine. I got a little buzz last night when, after all retired, I tried iced tea and vodka. My inherited addictive personality kicked in, and I found myself craving more. Frightened, I quickly admonished myself and went to bed. I must admit, though, that I am enjoying the warm, fuzzy feeling this wine is giving me. Must be careful.
|
||||
|
||||
I'm stuck on the deity question again. The more I learn in biology, or any of my classes for that matter, the more I see the helping hand of some benign influence. Thus, I've been reading <u>SoJ</u> again. It's odd, I'm in a situation where <em>becoming</em> a Christian, or a follower of just about any religion, is nigh on unacceptable, whereas, in most cases, the opposite seems to be true. My heritage protects me, though: I must analyze religion and myself further before I act; the curse of the engineer.
|
||||
|
||||
PS: we return tomorrow.
|
||||
|
||||
<strong>03-16-04</strong>
|
||||
I woke up early several times - I haven't been sleeping well lately - before I actually had to get up. After that, it was weak coffee and goodbyes: the time of our departure had come.
|
||||
|
||||
Travel proved to be a little awkward, but otherwise uneventful. The awkwardness, both physically and socially, had mostly to do with my dad. Due to his waking of me being rather abrupt, I was quite out of it most of the day; apparently enough that I packed my bag half asleep, and it nearly didn't fit beneath the seat in front of me. AS far as socially, I sort of got the feeling (wasn't up to starting the empathy engine) that my dad was afraid of/for me. Ah well.
|
||||
|
||||
After driving to Phoenix from Tucson (we saw a car of immigrants run off the road and into a fence, where 5 people jumped out and started sprinting into the desert, followed closely by two police officers with guns drawn), flying to Denver, driving to Lakewood, then to Boulder, I was getting zonked, so I traded in my punch-card for a large mocha at Cafe Sole, searched for (and failed to find) the Sci-Am I wanted, and pushed on home. While I was a way, a check for $15.99, business reply mail, and my Rider-Waite deck arrived (finally).
|
||||
|
||||
Struck with a sudden urge, I donned my humbler pentacle, grabbed the check, and walked to the bank to deposit it. That done, I walked back, but as I reached Dartmouth, I decided to keep going straight to explore my own little mini-forest (must show Floofo before it's fenced off).
|
||||
|
||||
While I was there, I began work on a formal wand. It's about as long as from my shoulder to my wrist and it's quite smooth. I anointed it with water from a deep stream (as well as my crossdamned foot), dirt from nearby, and reiki while I waited for my sock and shoe to dry some. After I walked home barefoot, I anointed it with fire and more reiki. All that remains is air and spirit, the hardest to do, before a final reiki and claiming it as mine. After that, I shall make an altar.
|
||||
|
||||
I need to seek out my Discordian roots again and incorporate them somehow. Also, I must think more on deities, <u>SoJ</u>, <u>SiaSL</u>, Dan Simmons' books, and empathy. A to-do list.
|
||||
|
||||
Now that I've written this by hand, I shall retype it all. Instead of doing math or Latin.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
It's amazing how pretentious I get when writing on paper.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,59 @@
|
|||
%title [no subject]
|
||||
%date 2004-03-16 21:15:44
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Just finished with the wand. It feels full. I shall let it rest until my fast (Sunday morning through Monday night), where I will identify with it.
|
||||
|
||||
I think I may need to talk with Moondog about something I wrote about while in AZ. Even if she doesn't need it cleared up, I still want to talk about it.
|
||||
|
||||
Had an interesting conversation with Danny. I blew up at him for something, but we kindasorta fixed it. Think things are mostly better now..
|
||||
<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
Taken from Moondoggy, before I remembered the one from Shannon c.c
|
||||
|
||||
(X) ...been drunk?
|
||||
(X) ...smoked pot?
|
||||
(X) ...kissed a member of the opposite sex?
|
||||
(X) ...kissed a member of the same sex?
|
||||
(X)...crashed your own car?
|
||||
( ) ...crashed a friend's car?
|
||||
( ) ...been to Japan?
|
||||
(X) ...rode in a taxi?
|
||||
(NC) ...had anal sex?
|
||||
(X) ...been in love?
|
||||
(X) ...had sex?
|
||||
( ) ...had sex in public?
|
||||
(X) ...been dumped?
|
||||
(X) ...shoplifted?
|
||||
( ) ...been fired?
|
||||
( ) ...been in a fist fight?
|
||||
( ) ...had a threesome?
|
||||
(X) ...snuck out of your parents house?
|
||||
(X) ...been tied up (sexually)?
|
||||
( ) ...been caught masturbating?
|
||||
(X) ...pissed on yourself?
|
||||
(X) ...had sex with a member of the same sex?
|
||||
(NC) ...had sex with a member of the opposite sex?
|
||||
( ) ...been arrested?
|
||||
( ) ...made out with a stranger?
|
||||
( ) ...stole something from my job?
|
||||
( ) ...celebrated New Years in Time Square?
|
||||
( ) ...gone on a blind date?
|
||||
(X) ...lied to a friend?
|
||||
( ) ...had a crush on a teacher?
|
||||
( ) ...celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans?
|
||||
( ) ...been to Europe?
|
||||
(X) ...skipped school?
|
||||
( ) ...slept with a co-worker?
|
||||
( ) ...been fisted or fisted anyone?
|
||||
( ) ...thrown up in a bar?
|
||||
(X) ...purposly set yourself on fire?
|
||||
(X) ...eaten Sushi?
|
||||
(x) ...been snowboarding?
|
||||
(x) ...been happy with yourself?
|
||||
( ) ...met a movie star?
|
||||
(X) ...been naked in front of another person?
|
||||
(X) ...had a mental illness?
|
||||
|
||||
NC = too much explaining to do.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
%title I um... huh.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-18 15:42:12
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I don't feel like writing, no matter how much I have to write about (this doesn't have to do with what I have to write about itself, just some memories drudged up from 8th grade bringing me down).
|
||||
|
||||
So here's a quiz.
|
||||
|
||||
<center><a href="http://boredesign.reallybites.com/quiz/alicequiz.html" target="new">
|
||||
<img border="0" src="http://boredesign.reallybites.com/quiz/caterpillar.jpg"/></a><br/><i>i am extremely intelligent and very wise. i think logically and rhetorically in order to get problems solved. if i'm not mad now, i'm getting very close.</i>
|
||||
<br/><a href="http://boredesign.reallybites.com/quiz/alicequiz.html" target="new" title="we're all mad here">how mad are you?</a>
|
||||
<br/>this quiz was made by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/piksy" target="new" title="cracked but sweet">piksy</a></center>
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title Mmhh.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-18 18:26:57
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Met a guy named Peace on the mall tonight. He lived up to his namesake. He asked for a cigarette, I gave him a buck. I told him my feet hurt. They didn't really afterwards, and while I wasn't exactly chipper, I sure was peaceful after I walked away. Thanks to Peace, wherever he is.
|
||||
|
||||
He had a nice coat, too.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
|
|||
%title Mweeeeeeep!
|
||||
%date 2004-03-21 14:54:18
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Wagh! Blurry days!
|
||||
<details text="Jiminy Crickets, I type way too much.."><summary>Jiminy Crickets, I type way too much..</summary>
|
||||
|
||||
</details>
|
||||
Okie. Friday! School sucked, mostly 'cause it was spent waiting for it to be over, as it was with everyone (day before spring break, go figure). Afterwards, Kiran, Andrew, Ryan, Brian and I goofed around. I collected bits of shardproof glass that was laying on the ground. It strikes me as a neat material to make a cubist sculpture out of. Need some superglue, though.
|
||||
|
||||
After we'd waited an appropriate amount of time, Mr. Pilot and I decided to depart, heading down to Caffe Sole to get a bag and a frozen chai, and then on to Longmont. I'd gotten directions to Twin Peaks from Ms. Gibert, so I wasn't quite sure how to get there. We made it, however, and just in time (by my watch, at least). Moondog and Sakun were all dressed up and waiting for us, so we bounced off to DDR. I'm awful at it, but not as bad as I thought I'd be. Funny, though; when I stop thinking about it and looking at the arrows, I do better.
|
||||
|
||||
Afterwards, we headed to dinner at.. uh.. Carrabas? Carinos? Italian place. I got a fairly decent chicken piccata. Lunacanis had rootbeer, which, while Sakun was gone, he spat all over Vulpine and I. They payed (the theme of the date was that Vulpine and I were never allowed to pay), and we headed out to get my car so that Moondoggy and I could pick up K-kun while Sakun could pick up Kindra. We met at the bowling alley and I sorta draped myself over Moondog and laughed while Vulpine said goofy things like "What about.. mushrooms!?"
|
||||
|
||||
We bowled for a while. I didn't suck too bad. Samir did the best, with his little trot, and Moondog with his 5-7 splits. Kelly just threw the ball. Some of the time was spent outside freaking people out - mostly old couples and little kids - while Kelly and Kindra freaked people out in the locker room. The shoes were hideous.
|
||||
|
||||
After that, we were gonna go convene at Denny's after Sakun dropped off Kindra (she wasn't allowed out) and Kelly at Kindra's, but it had been condemned, so we went to hang out at a nearby park. We snuggled in pairs while watching a spotlight move across the clouds and listening to the hum and crackle of high powered lines. A police officer showed up and looked in our cars, so we went up to talk to him. He smiled and said something about the parks closing at 10, but, as long as we didn't tell anyone, he'd let us stay out. We went back to snuggling for a while until Samir had to go pick up Kelly again (she wasn't allowed to stay at Kindra's). By then, my leg had fallen completely asleep, to the point that I couldn't walk. Samir got frustrated and picked me up to run to my car. Moondog and I goofed around in the car for a while until my leg woke up
|
||||
|
||||
We headed to Samir's while he went to go pick up Kelly and goofed around some more while waiting for him, giving the neighbors, who were on the roof, a bit of a show. Weirdos. Sakun showed up shortly, and we left for Kelly's where we were gonna spend the night. I drove Kelly there while Samir drove Andrew, and Moondog drove by himself. Neither K-kun nor myself knew how to get back to her house from where we were, so we ended up driving halfway back to Boulder from Longmont, to Hwy. 52, then up to Fredrick. Needless to say, we were late. Luckily, Linda was there, and the rest could get in.
|
||||
|
||||
We futzed around for a while, K-kun playing Vice City while Sakun and Andrew stole the bed. This left Moondog and me with the couch, which was cozy at best, since neither of us really fit on there. We shifted to the floor and, after Moondog and Sakun went out to smoke, we went to bed.
|
||||
|
||||
The next morning, I woke up at 6:30, fearing that I was gonna be late for school, and half-dreamt for about an hour that there was a big conspiracy involving everyone in the room but me revolving around Kelly's AIM screen name. After a while, I ended up waking Moondog up too, and since we were still in bed (well, on the floor, but that's a valid bed in Kelly's house), we ended up.. ah.. messing around until about 10:30, when someone (Florida.. maybe I've met him..) called Kelly's cell and nearly gave me a heart attack. K-kun answered it and threw it at Moondog, who talked angrilly ("You're interrupting!") before throwing it at a chair. After that, we napped and layed around for a bit more, then got up to be lazy. There were Fredrick Lunchables (make your own damn sandwiches, damnit) and Taquitos (ha ha, I made Moondog eat an odd number ^^). We all went out to look at Vulpine's neato sketchbook/portfolio/thing, then back in to listen to some of Kelly's music (Static-X and APC, mrrm) while Moondog and I messed around on the bed (we found out my ears, in most situations, are even more sensitive than my neck, though I don't have quite the stigma of people touching them as I do with my neck), then moved to the couch for a while where we had Samir and Vulpine sit on us randomly.
|
||||
|
||||
It was nearing time to leave, so all but Kelly headed down to the cars for goodbyes, which took about 15 minutes. After that, we drove home, stopping by Deli Zone on the way. I did end up getting in trouble (empty nest syndrome; I'm gone one night and my mom freaks; understandable), I should've called, but oh well ^^ My mom doesn't deal out punishment, just guilt-trips, and I went through so much of that a while back, that I'm kinda immune. Besides, I was kinda expecting it. I was tired, so I showered and took a nap.
|
||||
|
||||
A 16 hour long nap.
|
||||
|
||||
Thus, today. Mom and I went for coffee at Book Ends in hopes that Boulder Bookstore would be open. It wasn't, so we returned home so that I could clean my car and we could go shopping for bushes and dirt. Nngh. I headed out on my own after that and got a new pair of shoes. The old pair isn't done yet. so I'll alternate days with them until they die completely. Also, I got a knife. I intended to get it as an athame, but I'm thinking that the wand will work just as well for that, and that I'll use the knife just as a knockaround thing. It's a double edged, black, steel bootknife. Kinda like a short dagger or throwing knife. Quite durable. After a hotdog, I got two cds (Phish - Rift, and a Modest Mouse single), and went to look for the art book that's been haunting me at Boulder Bookstore. I couldn't find it, so I went to Lighthouse and got some inscense - clove (yay) and amber.
|
||||
|
||||
And now, here I am, writing an entry that's longer than it needs to be on my second day of spring break. I'm thinking after dinner that I might go out to see The Passion, but I don't know. Lacking in money. Also, after all that, feeling kinda lonesome, and I'd want to go with someone.
|
||||
|
||||
*wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean, say no more*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
%title Mmmrp.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-21 23:09:28
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
My subliminal messaging works! After writing about wanting to see a movie, Moondog came over, and we went out to see one. I was too happy to see The Passion, and he didn't really want to, so we ended up seeing Secret Window (mmmm.. Depp!), but only after a lots and lots of deliberation, as well as a cup of rooibos (has potential, shall have to try it again) for me and chai for him. We found out that the armrests in the movie theatre fold up, and took advantage of that fact to snuggle some. Scared the family sitting further down the row from us ^^
|
||||
|
||||
We talked briefly about the fact that my mom really likes Moondog. The mother figure even mentioned something this morning about wanting to help him through college. Oddness. But a goodness, I suppose.
|
||||
|
||||
I'm a good fox, I use the right pronouns ^^
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title Murgh.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-22 16:10:33
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
My house brings an awful sense of despair to me whenever I'm in it. I want to go out again. Anyone?
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
%title Yee.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-23 00:31:33
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
M-m-m-m-moondog!
|
||||
|
||||
Since I'm such an attention whore, we went and hung out tonight! Yay. I went to go pick her up at her house, but ended up driving past it unknowingly. He and his mom laughed at me, I giggled and stared nervously at the imposing numbers tacked to the siding. Must remember, evens on one side, odds on the other.. c.c Afterwards, we went out to Cafe Luna for hot and tasty drinks, marvelling at the weirdest book collection I've seen in a while. Upon finishing, we left to go visit his mother at her place of work. It was awkward, but not as bad as it could've been. We departed and headed back to his house where we fooled around some, went outside, played with doggies (DOGGIES!!!!), went back in, and fooled around s'more. He's scare when he stares at me REALLY CLOSE.
|
||||
|
||||
Then I drove home and ate processed foodstuffs and a banana.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
%title Prosecutors will be shoplifted to the fullest extent of the law. !
|
||||
%date 2004-03-24 15:49:57
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
In brief, since I have to leave in a few:
|
||||
|
||||
Tuesday night: drove to dad's, lazed around, Moondog called, drove back to boulder, had coffee with K-kun and Kindra. Dropped those two off, drove up to NCAR with Moondog, looked at lights, drove back to my house, told mom I'd be out, called dad, called K-kun, drove to Kindras, picked those two up (eventually), drove to Kelly's, tried to sleep while Moondog nearly coughed up a lung.
|
||||
|
||||
Wednesday: got up late, drove to Boulder, took a flash shower, grabbed a ducky (HUG MY DUCKY!!!), drove to Pearl, picked up applications and got told to drop off resumes, drove a ducky back before I passed out, passed out, woke up to a dog running forcefully into a closed dog-door.
|
||||
|
||||
About to go to dinner with mother-figure, then drive back, pick up Andrew, drive to OASOS. Nngh. It's a happy pain.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
|
|||
%title Mwererererere. I... don't know how to pronounce that.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-25 20:16:43
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Okay, picking up yesterday, after OASOS (which was fairly.. standard, though I did learn some things about tranny-ness).
|
||||
|
||||
Headed out to Caffe Sole for a Breggo, water, and affection. We freaked out some college kids driving by after we were kicked out of the caffe. Or, rather, I think Samir and Vulpine did, since they slowed nearly to a stop to gawk at them. Jesus with another guy might do that.
|
||||
|
||||
Today, woke up early to go take Mr. Pilot to Samirs to watch Froots Basket with him and Moondoggy. Moondog did his best to distract me, and eventually went outside. I was pushed out by Samir shortly afterwards to go sit on Moondog's car with him and.. do stuff. Dunno. Sa-kun accused us of not being able to make out in front of him, and we didn't really challenge him. We kinda started once, but he giggled, and that was the end of it.
|
||||
|
||||
After, we headed to Kei-kun's so that Mr. Michael could take take her to therapy. Androo and I decided on Wendy's for lunch, and we returned to a barrage of 'complaints' about my driving and the fact that we ate there. Anyway, we futzed around for a while before He Who Is Like God and I headed back to Ft. Lupton to pick up Kei-kun. More goofing around after that until I had to depart to get to my dad's on time.
|
||||
|
||||
Tomorrow looks to be filled with homework, then dinner with dad, then out to Rainbow Alley to watch Moondoggy perform.
|
||||
|
||||
I know this is probably confusing with all the names, but really, there were only the four of us until we picked up Kelly. I just like making it awkward. :o) (Michael, which means 'He who is like God' is Moondoggy, Sa-kun is Samir, Kei-kun is Kelly, Vulpine is Mr. Pilot is Androo)
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
%title In short:
|
||||
%date 2004-03-26 21:13:52
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Moondog's hair has a distinctive smell to it. I like it.
|
||||
|
||||
That's all I feel like typing now. Time to lose myself in a book.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
%title A note.
|
||||
%date 2004-03-26 23:52:22
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
Jim: got my tickets today, well be getting in to Denver about 6pm may 27th, flying out around 2pm jun 1st. Let me know how that works for you.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
|
|||
%title Love. Humility. Balance. In other news, I'm thinking about people dying again. Thus...
|
||||
%date 2004-03-27 00:25:20
|
||||
:diary:livejournal:fossils:
|
||||
|
||||
I can feel the sickness spreading now. There's the earthy, acrid feeling during exhalation, the weariness of my joints, the slight dizziness and self-lag when I move quickly, the endless slightly upset stomach that feels a good deal like hunger... And above all lies the hot, rotten feeling in my core. Fuck.
|
||||
|
||||
I'd written in a not-so-lucid moment on the back of an essay, "How can I be sure I'm me?" This feeling came back last night after the show. Moondog didn't actually perform 'cause he didn't have a song and didn't have time to prepare. Instead, we commiserated on the energy of Rainbow Alley and the fact that we don't talk much. This nugget of info seemed to have originated from Samir having talked a good deal with Andrew today. It's a good point, Moondog and I don't really just talk all that much. We discussed this over water and a chocolate shake at Arby's during closing time and some over IM. When we were in person though, I had the feeling that I really wasn't the one talking; I don't mean this in the otherworldly sense, so much as the fact that I wasn't sure I really understood what I was saying.
|
||||
|
||||
Now that I've put down my goddamned book, I feel frustrated at the fact that we should have to worry about this at all, that we need to schedule time to talk. Perhaps I've gone nineteen, but mates shouldn't have to do that. Waiting is. Talking will happen when it needs to happen, and perhaps it does, but are we approaching this in the wrong way? Are we being goaded into action by shadows? Or perhaps I'm just out of my mind. Yar-bugger.
|
||||
|
||||
Hey, I found reading again. In case you didn't notice.
|
||||
|
||||
As a side note, I've not cried in years. I feel like, since I cried so much as a child, I must conserve my tears, mete them out in the proper amounts at the proper times, lest I have none when they're needed most.
|
||||
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