update from sparkleup

writing/3/terrifying/blind-strife.md

@@ -52,5 +52,14 @@ When *ally* came out, when I got that review from Rax, I tripped over a crack in
 > 
 > The way she feels when she's fronting?\footnote{\cite{ally-plurality}}
 
-It sent me into my five thousand word tailspin where I asked dozens and dozens of questions of my ally, of myself, as I tried to nail down the panic that came with being confronted by this idea of plurality.
+It sent me into my five thousand word tailspin where I asked dozens and dozens of questions of my ally, of myself, as I tried to nail down the panic that came with being confronted by this idea of plurality. There was this anxiety of definition — was this me? Was this who I was? — right alongside the anxiety of identification: if this is me, what does that mean for my life?
+
+I never did figure that out in that section of *ally*. I very carefully, very *intentionally* did not. "It is all well and good that this is a question worth considering, and I'm happy enough to acknowledge it here like this, in a roundabout way. I think I need to, to some extent. I need to have it in words between us. But any further investigations would, I think, do a disservice to the project at hand and the roles we play, willing or not, in the endeavor," I wrote. "Hell, as it is, I'm torn as to whether or not I should have brought it up in the first place."
+
+So kind to my reader. So kind to my friends.
+
+((Supporting identities))
+
+((The trans urge to tamp down one's own identity))
+
 ((Struggling against expectations versus desires esp re: feeling like I deserve to take up space))