diff --git a/writing/poetry/mental-health.md b/writing/poetry/mental-health.md index 51f2f5dd..91b86cf8 100644 --- a/writing/poetry/mental-health.md +++ b/writing/poetry/mental-health.md @@ -1 +1,299 @@ %title Mental health + +!{In *Eigengrau*} + +''' +There is too much fire in me +to be described by the soldering iron's tip. + +If I were to draw that across my flesh, + it would all spill out at once. +I'd melt, eaten whole by flames, + and flow into a pool of molten silver. +I would be borne up through the clouds, + and grow lighter by the second. +Sublimation would claim me then, + atoms would scatter, diffuse. +All that energy poured to the air around me, + an imperceptible increase in temperature. +Particle would excite particle +   until I'm felt only as warmth on your face. + +But even that would not be enough. +''' + +----- + +!{In *Eigengrau*} + +''' +Too many wine-dark seas need daily traversal, +And here the shipping forecast calls for rain. + +The shipping forecast! What a load of bollocks. +You can listen from start to finish +And not hear a single word about how a day will feel. + +Or maybe it's a pale, tired, steganography: +Moderate, becoming poor, violent storm 11. + +Burning up, drowning, torn by wind, and all I can manage +is to tell you southwest gale 8 to storm 10. + +I can point at the moon, exhausted, bored, decaying, +And hope you don't stare blankly at my finger. +''' + +*Thanks to P.R.* + +----- + +!{In *Eigengrau*} + + + +
+
+

I

+

Geese Level:
+ Unnerving

+

Expect:
+ Anxiety

+
+
+A hundred geese overhead — + A thousand — + A million — + +Heady scent of premonition. +Acrid tang of ill omens. +Portents. +Too much meaning + In too small a space. +
+
+ +
+
+

II

+

Geese Level:
+ Noise-Cancelling Headphones

+

Expect:
+ auditory aberrations

+
+
+Geese are a byproduct of laminar shear stress + Of two layers of phantasmagorical + Newtonian fluids, + Which is why they’re often seen on a plane. +A thin, sort-of Truth + From a sort of thin layer + geese chromatography. +
+
+ +
+
+

III

+

Geese Level:
+ Eldrich

+

Expect:
+ red tint to vision; hot flashes

+
+
+As the dove bears the olive branch, + so too the goose bears the wand + that withers all it touches. +A wand of nightshade, + Core of tainted silver. +A wand of obscure origin, + The goose surely stole it. +Malice begets malice. +
+
+ +
+
+

IV

+

Geese Level:
+ Beyond Comprehension

+

Expect:
+ confusion; nausea; sweating; racing pulse

+
+
+We know not the transgression, + the origin - +We know not the punishment, + only the terror. +
+
+ +
+
+

V

+

Geese Level:
+ Excruciating

+

Expect:
+ pounding heart; tunnel vision; racing thoughts; black outs; +blood pouring from ears

+
+
+Geas + Wing + Dark + Horizon +
+
+ +
+
+

VI

+

Geese Level:
+ Terrifying

+

Expect:
+ tinnitus; piloerection; shortness of breath; uneven gait

+
+
+I’d rather owls. +Owls, as though geese were turned inside out, + made less evil. +Still portentous, + Still momentous, + Just less terrifying. +Owls are okay. +I can think about owls. +
+
+ +
+
+

VII

+

Geese Level:
+ Uncomfortable

+

Expect:
+ subdermal itching; formication

+
+
+Life within a comfortable grid. +Parallel lines + Interrupting narrowing circles + Of birds in flight. +Travel in straight lines. +Turn at right angles. +Trace the roof of your mouth + With wet tongue. + +I’m not afraid of geese anymore + Because I can step on them now. +I’m big enough. +
+
+ +
+
+

VIII

+

Geese Level:
+ Birds

+

Expect:
+ birds

+
+
+Ritual thinking + Driven by geese — + By lines, by grids, by food — + By numbers and neat delineation. +And I’m left with questions: + Why the portents? + Why the anxiety? +Or maybe: + Did I take my meds this morning? + +Failing that, + Can I just have the comfort of prayer + Or the ecstasy of signs + Without bleak paranoia + Over circling birds? +
+
+ +*Thanks to C.M.* + +----- + +!{First-place winner of the [Typewriter Emergencies Poetry Contest](https://www.typewriteremergencies.com/single-post/2018/02/13/Beneath-her-coat-was-a-whole-identity---1st-Place-Winner).}!{In *Eigengrau*} + +''' +Beneath her coat was a whole identity: +A subtle form of ideas under soft fur, +A constantly shifting mass of meaning... +And somehow, she pulled it off. + +She would go for days without shedding a thing, +And then, as if a bottle rolling off a counter, +She would shatter, sending shards of self flying, +And then we'd all see. + +Then we'd all see the terror, the joy, +Then we'd all see the grief at nothing, +Then we'd all hear her say, +"I'm not built for a life with death in it." + +And slowly, she'd pick herself back up +And find a brand new way to piece herself together +And build herself a brand new smile +And brush out her coat once more. +''' + +----- + +!{In *Eigengrau*} + +''' +Disvolvu mian haŭton el mia karno +Verŝu mian sangon el mi kiel vino +Prenu mian vivon, tenu ĝin sub via lango: + Amara pilolo por gustumi + +Bruligu min, entombigu min poste +Loku ŝtonon super kie mi kuŝas +Lasu tempo manĝi vian memorojn pri mi + Lasta peceto por gustumi + +----- + +Unwind my skin from my flesh. +Pour my blood from me like wine. +Take my life, hold it beneath your tongue: + A bitter pill to savor. + +Burn me, then entomb me. +Place a stone over where I lie. +Let time eat your memories of me: + A final morsel to savor. +'''