From effddffd19d63ac7c9ab7244f51f2301eb7d3327 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Rye Progress Date: Sun, 27 Oct 2024 20:01:35 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/what-right-have-I/first-pass.md | 14 +++++++++++++- 1 file changed, 13 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/writing/post-self/what-right-have-I/first-pass.md b/writing/post-self/what-right-have-I/first-pass.md index 3f4eadf9..34196bf9 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/what-right-have-I/first-pass.md +++ b/writing/post-self/what-right-have-I/first-pass.md @@ -18,4 +18,16 @@ We are a revelrous clade. We are all hedonists, in our way. Conscientious hedonists, mind: we believe that *all* deserve revelry in that which is good, but simply that we, too, are included in that 'all'. -Some revel in the hedonism of play, or the hedonism of creating, or the hedonism of food, of drink, of drugs. Some revel in the hedonism of naught: No Unknowable Spaces Echo My Words dreams of death and the lack of life, and to her, such is a joy. Unknowable Spaces's up-tree Before Whom Do I Kneel, Contrite dreams of the very lack of a sense of self, and to it, such is a joy. +Some revel in the hedonism of play, or the hedonism of creating, or the hedonism of food, of drink, of drugs. Some revel in the hedonism of naught: No Unknowable Spaces Echo My Words dreams of death and the lack of life, and to her, such is a joy. Unknowable Spaces's up-tree Before Whom Do I Kneel, Contrite dreams of the very lack of a sense of self, and to it, such is a joy. + +But consider: they are cross-tree from me. I bear in me very little of what makes them *them.* + +No, my revelry lies in unmasking. I revel in the earnestness that one feels for oneself when one is truly as they should be. Michelle never had that. How could she? She was bound by capitalism, and capitalism does not particularly like catastrophically autistic nerds living their best lives. + +So she tamped it down, as did so many others, back phys-side, and lived the life of the slightly strange woman who taught theatre — for what theatre teacher is not slightly strange? — who loved her students and went home to pretend to be a skunk person on the 'net. + +And that was our life. + +For the first 31 years of our life, we were that slightly strange but nevertheless comfortably masking autistic woman, and even after we uploaded, even after we were surrounded by so many other strange people, we only relaxed partway, and it was not until Michelle forked into the first ten lines of the Ode clade that we had the chance to relax any further + +For the first 38 years of our we were still slightly strange and nevertheless still masked. It was not for another six years until the first line of my stanza, the third, forked my down-tree, Rav From Whence, and while ours was the stanza that returned to the Judaism of our childhood, she was the one who dove wholeheartedly into it.