update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/036.md

@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ May shook her head. "Reasonably confident, but I want Arrowhead Lake back no mat
 
 "Skunks, I swear." Ioan shook eir head. "Well, welcome all the same. We've got pasta, if you'd like."
 
-Once she'd heaped a plate high with pasta, Serene followed them out onto the balcony to join them for the rest of their meal. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of the plain. "I suppose this was the best one could do on short notice, yes?"
+Once she'd heaped a plate high with food, Serene followed them out onto the balcony to join them for the rest of their meal. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of the plain. "I suppose this was the best one could do on short notice, yes?"
 
 "It wasn't too much, and it fit the need, yeah."
 
@@ -46,13 +46,13 @@ Serene nodded. "He read the *History* and came to the same conclusion that the r
 
 "I do not want to hear you say that you are sorry, Sasha. I do not think that is how this works as you are now, not for me. I do not want to hear your justifications and explanations; I can understand them as well as anyone. I just want to hear your acknowledgement."
 
-After setting her plate and fork down on the low table again, Sasha folded her paws in her lap, sat for a moment in silence, then said. "For as much as I tried to do --- for as much as Jonas and I both tried to do --- I do not think we had nearly the effect on the world around us we thought we did, not on the grand scale. We played our games of politics and influence, but it was a game of relationships from start to finish, you are correct. True Name changed relationships. May Then My Name changed relationships. E.W. played his part. I do not know if it was for the better or the worse, but I do acknowledge that it made a good many of them far more difficult."
+After setting her plate and fork down on the low table again, Sasha folded her paws in her lap, sat for a moment in silence, then said, "For as much as I tried to do --- for as much as Jonas and I both tried to do --- I do not think we had nearly the effect on the world around us we thought we did, not on the grand scale. We played our games of politics and influence, but it was a game of relationships from start to finish, you are correct. True Name changed relationships. May Then My Name changed relationships. E.W. played his part. I do not know if it was for the better or the worse, but I do acknowledge that it made a good many of them far more difficult."
 
 "Well, okay. Perhaps one apology."
 
 "I am sorry, Serene; Sustained And Sustaining."
 
-There was another moment of silence, then Serene's wild grin returned. "Well, that felt good. Praiseworthy did all that shit, too, so, fuck it. Let me finish my pasta and I will fuck your sim up but good."
+There was another moment of silence, then Serene's wild grin returned. "Well, that felt good. Praiseworthy did all that shit, too, so, fuck it. Let me finish my food and I will fuck your sim up but good."
 
 Ioan blinked, looking between skunk and fennec. "Wait, that simple?"
 
@@ -122,7 +122,7 @@ May elbowed em in the side. "Hush, you."
 
 "Write? Really?"
 
-"Yes. I will be careful not to be seen as overtly influencing lest I bring on Jonas's ire, but I would like to share the story of the last few centuries from my point of view. I do not know who will be interested except perhaps our two clades, but I will write."
+"Yes. I must be careful not to be seen as overtly influencing lest I bring on Jonas's ire, but I would like to share the story of the last few centuries from my point of view. I do not know who will be interested except perhaps our two clades, but I will write."
 
 "Well, if it's anything like the *History*," Ioan said, "it'll wind up wildly popular and then fade into part of the mythos of the System."
 
@@ -392,11 +392,11 @@ Sasha joined them in bed that night, and they took what comfort they could from
 
 The more dramatic of the meetings, however, came that weekend. It was quieter, perhaps, but bearing more weight, more finality.
 
-The rest of the week had remained tense, with Sasha wafting in and out of the house to follow her unsettled moods while May remained quiet, nearly silent, as she stuck by Ioan's side. Ey knew ey should probably start laying in supplies for her overflowing, but ey was still distracted trying to pick apart the events with Zacharias. In light of eir desire to keep both of them safe and close, much of the fury that had come with eir first meeting with the fox threatened to reappear every time ey thought about the two skunks.
+The rest of the week had remained tense, with Sasha wafting in and out of the house to follow her unsettled moods while May remained quiet, nearly silent, nearly always stuck by Ioan's side. Ey knew ey should probably start laying in supplies for her overflowing, but ey was still distracted trying to pick apart the events with Zacharias. In light of eir desire to keep both of them safe and close, much of the fury that had come with eir first meeting with the fox threatened to reappear every time ey thought about the two skunks.
 
 Which, naturally, was quite often.
 
-It was not exactly the best of timing, then, when If I Am To Bathe In Dreams, an elegant, if severe-looking skunk, arrived late on a Saturday afternoon on a few minutes' notice and bowed formally to the three of them.
+It was not exactly the best of timing, then, when If I Am To Bathe In Dreams, an elegant, if severe-looking, skunk arrived late on a Saturday afternoon on a few minutes' notice and bowed formally to the three of them.
 
 "Ioan, I believe Jonas hired you as an amanuensis?" she said.
 
@@ -484,6 +484,6 @@ She chuckled and elbowed em in the side. "This may be a True Name thing."
 
 "I am also a little bit all over the place," she admitted. "These events have me going in three different directions at once. The Ode clade is crumbling and I cannot deny that some...that much of that is on me. I am sorry, Ioan."
 
-"It's fine," ey said, shaking eir head. "It's kind of a lot."
+"I don't even know what to think about that," ey said, shaking eir head. "It's kind of a lot."
 
 "That it is. You are a good person, though. You love your partner. She knows this. I know this. You are good to her and it will all be okay. We may hope for neat endings but all we get are more beginnings." She smiled, adding, "And yes, you may stay until she is feeling better."

writing/post-self/mitzvot/037.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 -----
 
-May's stint of overflowing only lasted two nights. Something about the change in context, though, about staying with Sasha instead of Douglas, made everything feel tenuous. Ioan found it difficult to sleep on the padded cot that she'd added to the tent, and eventually, she must have grown tired of hearing em toss and turn (and perhaps mumble to emself), for she sleepily climbed out of her own bed and into eirs, curling up with em after confirming that it was alright.
+May's stint of overflowing only lasted two nights. Something about the change in context, though, about staying with Sasha instead of Douglas, made everything feel tenuous, delicate. Ioan found it difficult to sleep on the padded cot that she'd added to the tent, and eventually, she must have grown tired of hearing em toss and turn (and perhaps mumble to emself), for she sleepily climbed out of her own bed and into eirs, curling up with em after confirming that it was alright.
 
 Unexpected, perhaps, but by then ey was too frustrated and exhausted to think of anything else. The added comfort certainly worked in getting em to sleep, to the point where ey slept in until a ray of sun, creeping slowly, fell across eir face and warmed em awake.
 
@@ -80,11 +80,11 @@ Ey nodded.
 
 Sasha nodded, hesitated, then said, "On that note, are *you* okay?"
 
-"I...well," she began, sighed, and shook her head. "I am upset, and I am disappointed that I am upset. I was so ready to be done with hatred, but I am stuck with yet more of it. Hatred from In Dreams, hatred in myself. More than the experiences with In Dreams and Zacharias, that feeling is what led to the past few days of tears. I thought that I was done."
+"I...well," she began, sighed, and shook her head. "I am upset, and I am disappointed that I am upset. I was so ready to be done with hatred, but I am stuck with yet more of it. Hatred from In Dreams, hatred of Zacharias, hatred in myself. More than the experiences with In Dreams and Zacharias, that feeling is what led to the past few days of tears. I thought that I was done."
 
 "I understand. While I am thinking of it, I would like to talk with you about Zacharias at some point --- nothing serious, just strategizing future meltdowns of his. Ioan said he kept trying to force merges on you just to get your attention."
 
-May winced. "Ugh, yeah. I have never felt something so intensely...I do not know. It felt like a violation of my personal space on an intangible level. What were you thinking?"
+May winced. "Ugh, yeah. I have never felt something so intensely...I do not know. It felt like a violation of my personal space on a subatomic level. What were you thinking?"
 
 Sasha tilted her head. "Now? I was going to suggest in a few days time, once you were feeling better."