diff --git a/writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md b/writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md index a8ca2566..4d85d62f 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md +++ b/writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md @@ -40,7 +40,29 @@ May dipped her muzzle and apologized as well, saying, "I do feel bad about how t May nodded. -((Maybe a bit more)) +"I am of two minds," True Name said. "I remember having loved Debarre. I remember still loving him, and perhaps even I, even True Name, still love him in a roundabout way. However, I am what I am, and that is a being of two minds. That of me which is you, End Waking, loves him, and that of me which is True Name, respects him from a distance, respects his distaste for me, that feeling I engendered to minimize the his impact within the council by making it so purely emotional, as much as it hurt to do so." + +"The same as you did with me and Codrin?" Ioan asked. "With the history, I mean." + +She nodded. "It was-- it felt like a necessity at the time. I am not some cold, unfeeling bitch, it is just that my drive and my abilities, such as they are, outweigh --- or at least outweighed --- those feelings. I worked to distance myself from them." + +"I remember so little of that," May said. + +True Name shrugged. "As you intentionally moved towards feeling, I worked to minimize it within myself. I became a being is negative commandments. I lived the 'shalt not's while you performed your *mitzvot* of loving and caring." + +May sighed. + +"I will not say that I am proud of it, my dear, but neither will I say that I regret it." + +"Perhaps you will learn from your merge," End Waking said. + +"Perhaps. Perhaps it will become a part of me, perhaps it will live within me alongside that of you and that of True Name." + +"Still feeling fractured?" Ioan asked. + +"Yes. I do not know if I will feel... I do not know. I am not comfortable speaking further on this just yet." + +They spent the rest of the night in quiet, May leaning against eir side while TN and End Waking spoke quietly about the plain. Finally, though, a week to the day after the topic had first come up, Ioan awoke to find May and True Name already sitting at the table, speaking earnestly in a cone of silence. Once they noticed em, True Name waved it away and May grinned, saying, "Sorry, my dear. We did not want to wake you."