update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/toledot/secession/sys/True-Name/005.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 # True Name --- 2124
 
-The next time the Council of Eight met was nearly two weeks after True Name's discussion with Praiseworthy, thanks to a small, artificial delay suggested by the other skunk in order to see how well she could manage buttering up those who needed buttering up, meet with Ir Jonas, and just plain let True Name get used to her new form, her new personality.
+The next time the Council of Eight met was nearly two weeks after True Name's discussion with Praiseworthy, thanks to a small, artificial delay suggested by the other skunk in order to see how well she could manage buttering up those who needed buttering up, meet with Ir Jonas, and let True Name get used to her new form, her new personality.
 
 When Jonas Prime first saw her after that meeting, he had sat up straight from where he had been lounging on his apartment's couch, pointed his finger at her, and all but shouted, "Perfect! I don't know what you did or how, but it's fucking perfect."
 
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ She had laughed, given a bow, and stood up straighter once more. "Glad you appro
 
 "I'm surprised you didn't work it in bit by bit, but it'll go over well."
 
-It did, thankfully. When she met with a few of the council members --- Debarre and Zeke, thankfully --- in order to request the delay on the meeting, they had both complimented her on her looks. She explained it away as wanting try looking "a little less dumpy", which had gotten a laugh out of Zeke.
+It did, thankfully. When she met with a few of the council members --- Debarre and Zeke, thankfully --- in order to request the delay on the meeting, they had both complimented her on her looks. She explained it away as wanting try looking "a little less dumpy", a calculated phrase which had gotten a laugh out of Zeke.
 
 But now, the time had come to actually have the council meeting, which was taking place on a set of benches set alongside the edge of a well manicured pond. The S-R Bloc trio showed up in high-collared coats, hats, and sun-glasses.
 
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ Debarre laughed. "Well, I'm for it. All we're missing is the ducks and a bag of
 
 "Maybe we can walk and talk for once." True Name gestured down the trail, palm up and hand relaxed as Praiseworthy had instructed --- *you do not want to seem stiff, but rather like you are suggesting that you would like to get on with something that was already their idea in the first place.*
 
-It worked well enough, as the whole council turned on cue and began to walk slowly down the trail. Jonas caught her eye and gave her a wink while the cone of silence settled into place and the meeting began.
+It worked well, as the whole council turned on cue and began to walk slowly down the trail. Jonas caught her eye and gave her a wink while the cone of silence settled into place and the meeting began.
 
 "What news on the markets?"
 
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ They'd made it about halfway around the lake before the discussion turned to Tru
 
 Jonas shook his head, "Should be smooth sailing. Worst case, we shut down for a few minutes or hours, and then come back online, in which case we won't even notice a thing in here."
 
-"And the bill sounds like it's going well, too," Debarre said. "I'm actually surprised that that isn't a foregone conclusion, too. From what I've been hearing, there's essentially total agreement on the DDR, and most of the governments seem on-board now, too."
+"And the bill sounds like it's going well, too," Debarre said. "I'm actually surprised that it isn't a foregone conclusion, too. From what I've been hearing, there's essentially total agreement on the DDR, and most of the governments seem on-board now, too."
 
 It was True Name's turn to nod, and she slid through the sentence smoothly, letting the topic flow into the conversation as gently as Ir Jonas and Praiseworthy had suggested. She just needed to trust that the work had been done, trust in her own abilities. "Yes, it has almost unanimously been accepted, and all we're really waiting on right now is for them to decide whether or not we can be trusted to govern ourselves."
 
@@ -72,21 +72,21 @@ The trio nodded in unison. "We will be working on that."
 
 True Name laughed. "When was the last time you even saw fireworks?"
 
-"Oh, I've never seen them. You were lucky, you had a big fuck-off lake you could launch them off of. It was just farms and orchards around us, so they were never allowed."
+"Oh, I've never seen them. You were lucky, you had a big fuck-off lake you could launch them off of. It was just farms and orchards around us, so they were illegal."
 
 The skunk smiled inwardly. That the topic of secession had been accepted at face value and slid so easily into joking and chatter was the best she could have hoped for. Even Jonas looked happy.
 
 After to-do items had been handed out and the meeting wound down, Jonas waved to the group and disappeared from the sim. That left True Name five minutes to walk and talk with the others before she would meet up with him, so she spent a few just walking alongside Debarre, talking about the fireworks that she'd watched with their mutual friend during high school, the author of the ode from which she drew her name.
 
-Then she waved her goodbyes as well, and stepped from the spy-park sim to a cafe, the very same one that Michelle/Sasha had visited before she had forked that first time.
+Then she waved her goodbyes as well, and stepped from the spy-park sim to a cafe, the very same one that Michelle/Sasha had visited when she had forked that first time.
 
-"Mocha, right?" Jonas said, handing her a drink and guiding her out to a rickety table on the sidewalk, already ensconced in another silent bubble.
+"Mocha, right?" Jonas said, handing her a drink and leading her out to a rickety table on the sidewalk, already ensconced in another silent bubble.
 
 "Close enough, yes. Perhaps champagne would be better."
 
-He laughed and fell into the chair opposite her, a move that somehow managed to ride the border between ungainly and endearing. "We'll get stinking drunk when the bill passes, don't worry. We'll get all of you and all of me together and bust out the champagne, cocaine, and condoms."
+He laughed and fell into the chair opposite her, a motion that somehow managed to ride the border between ungainly and endearing. "We'll get stinking drunk when the bill passes, don't worry. We'll get all of you and all of me together and bust out the champagne, cocaine, and condoms."
 
-"Oh, do not even start," she said, laughing. "I do not sleep with slimy politicians."
+"Do not even start," she said, laughing. "I do not sleep with slimy politicians."
 
 "You know, you're going to have to drop that act at some point. You have a speech writer, a styling team, a propagandist--"
 
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ Jonas nodded. "For the better, I'd say."
 
 "Do you think she was not a good council member?"
 
-"Oh, she was fine. Good ideas, smart. What she lacked was direction, which you make up in spades."
+"Oh, she was fine. Good ideas. Smart. What she lacked was direction, which you make up in spades."
 
 "I am happy to hear that. Truly." True Name raised her paper coffee cup in a toast to him. "There are some within the clade who have done the opposite, I am told. Praiseworthy has talked to them all, which is very her. Memory Is A Mirror Of Hammered Silver has hardly left Michelle's sim in weeks. She wound up with all of the empathy that I left behind."