diff --git a/writing/post-self/qoheleth/Sasha/003.md b/writing/post-self/qoheleth/Sasha/003.md index cfb84923..f873cee3 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/qoheleth/Sasha/003.md +++ b/writing/post-self/qoheleth/Sasha/003.md @@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ She levered her eyes open slowly, carefully, and was greeted by an extreme close "The fuck." The half-formed phrase tumbled out between what felt like half-formed lips. -She carefully picked herself up off the ground, off the field of endless field dandelions. The pain coursing through her body was quickly explained as she turned around. It appeared that she had fallen from a tall barstool. There stood before her a row of them lined neatly before a bar. *The* bar. The one so familiar from countless nights and weekends loitering in the Crown Pub. +She carefully picked herself up off the ground, off the field of endless dandelions. The pain coursing through her body was quickly explained as she turned around. It appeared that she had fallen from a tall barstool. There stood before her a row of them lined neatly before a bar. *The* bar. The one so familiar from countless nights and weekends loitering in the Crown Pub. The bar stood alone in the field. No backing wall full of racks of bottles. No walls at all, really: beyond the bar was more endless field. No floor, either: the stools sprouted as easily from the ground as did the dandelions. @@ -105,9 +105,9 @@ She cried again/cried again. Sat on the ground again/sat on the ground again. Pl "About sixteen hours. I had to dump a chunk of my savings into a ticket to get here." -She clawed at the ground in something between frustration at terror that a friend's voice was coming from her mouth/from her muzzle. "And...how are you..." +She clawed at the ground in something between frustration and terror that a friend's voice was coming from her mouth/from her muzzle. "And...how are you..." -"A mirror rig." The joyous tone of the words clashed against the tears still flowing freely. "We figured it out. Carter figured it out, I mean. She and AwDae bust everything open. Figured out how to rescue the lost, figured out how everyone *gets* lost in the first place." +"A mirror rig." The joyous tone of the words clashed against the tears still flowing freely. "We figured it out. Carter figured it out, I mean. She and AwDae busted everything open. Figured out how to rescue the lost, figured out how everyone *gets* lost in the first place." She stopped digging at the earth. "AwDae's back?" @@ -129,7 +129,7 @@ Debarre shrugged. "Can you back out?" She reached. Felt the draft. Smiled beatifically. She passed the field of dandelions. Passed the setting sun, or perhaps he passed her. -And breathed the cool air of an implant clinic. +And breathed in the cool air of an implant clinic. There, beside her, also sitting up from the recliner and pulling off his headband, was, she supposed, Debarre. Short. Soft. Thinning hair. Ecstatic grin. diff --git a/writing/post-self/qoheleth/index.md b/writing/post-self/qoheleth/index.md index 31abde00..282bc9c5 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/qoheleth/index.md +++ b/writing/post-self/qoheleth/index.md @@ -176,7 +176,7 @@ Check when edited * [X] Chapter: [Carter 009](Carter/009) --- Carter calls out, Prakash warns, works with Sasha and Debarre, Sasha gets lost, seen by Carter gives hint to mirror rig * [X] Chapter: [RJ 014](RJ/014) --- explores memory instead of will, finds deck in eir exo, then way more, struggling to forget * [X] Chapter: [Carter 010](Carter/010) --- Messages Caitlin and Johansson, heads to RJ, threatened by mooks -4. [O] Act III +4. [X] Act III * [X] Chapter: [Ioan 007](Ioan/007) --- Mustering the Odists * [X] Chapter: [RJ 015](RJ/015) --- deduces meaning of getting loss * [-] Chapter: (REJECTED merged with next chapter) @@ -188,7 +188,7 @@ Check when edited * [X] Chapter: [Qoheleth 006](Qoheleth/006) --- Assassinated * [X] Chapter: [Carter 011](Carter/011) RJ surprised to see Carter there, resists leaving as the sudden aspect of something not being in control is a shock * [X] Chapter: [Ioan 010](Ioan/010) --- Wrapping up with Dear, Serene, Praiseworthy - * [O] Chapter: [Sasha 003](Sasha/003) --- endless field of dandelions, then suddenly Debarre, pulled back, brought up to speed on what Carter learned about how to rescue lost and the conspiracy + * [X] Chapter: [Sasha 003](Sasha/003) --- endless field of dandelions, then suddenly Debarre, pulled back, brought up to speed on what Carter learned about how to rescue lost and the conspiracy * [-] Chapter: (REJECTED given to Carter, plus Sasha's eulogy) 5. [O] Denouement * [O] Chapter: [Ioan 011](Ioan/011) --- Ioan merges, begins to write, (sends Dear a sensorium message on a whim asking if ey might send a long-lived fork to stay with em to write, discuss Umwelt. Codrin Bălan, perhaps? Or Codruţ? From Romanian codru, 'woods'. Maybe asks Dear how this works. Ioan from John re bible, names important)