update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/027.md

@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ She shook her head. "No, not quite like that, thankfully. There are some similar
 
 May fiddled with eir sweater vest from where she lay against em. "I will admit that, for a while there, I was considering merging down with you before I saw how poorly End Waking's merge went." After the silence stretched out, she laughed nervously, adding, "Sorry, I suppose that is a pretty awkward thing to say."
 
-"It is okay, May Then My Name," True Name said, smiling reassuringly. "A large part of me wishes that you had rather than End Waking, if I am totally honest. I understand why you did what you did, and I think I agree with it, but on a personal level, I would much rather be integrating your memories than his."
+"It is okay, May Then My Name," True Name said, smiling reassuringly. "A large part of me wishes that you had rather than End Waking, if I am honest. I understand why you did what you did, and I think I agree with it, but on a personal level, I would much rather be integrating your memories than his."
 
 She winced. "That bad?"
 
@@ -134,11 +134,11 @@ She winced. "That bad?"
 
 "What about May's merge would've been easier?" Ioan asked.
 
-"Again, easier does not feel like the correct word. It would have been more comfortable. I would have understood the resentment that others feel for me if that was a goal, but it would not be the defining factor of the merge."
+"Again, easier does not feel like the correct word. It would have been more comfortable. I would have understood the resentment that others feel for me if that was indeed a goal, but it would not be the defining factor of the merge."
 
 "End Waking mentioned that he defined himself by not being you, yeah."
 
-She nodded. "So I have learned. The self-loathing that falls out of that rests just this side of overwhelming at times. Perhaps that is why it is proving to be such a project to settle into something resembling a singular nature again. I imagine that, given that May Then My Name has defined herself through something unique to her rather than some aspect of her relation to me, it would feel strange, but not so uncomfortable. Do correct me if I am wrong, though, my dear."
+She nodded. "So I have learned. The self-loathing that falls out of that rests just this side of overwhelming at times. Perhaps that is why it is proving to be such a project to settle into something resembling a singular nature again. I imagine, given that May Then My Name has defined herself through something unique to her rather than some aspect of her relation to me, it would feel strange, but not so uncomfortable. Do correct me if I am wrong, though, my dear."
 
 May shook her head.
 
@@ -186,7 +186,7 @@ Another nod.
 
 "But Ioan and I--"
 
-"I would have full knowledge of your apprehensions as well, would I not?" She held up her hands, smiling. "I am not trying to talk you into it, my dear, and I would still like to hear those apprehensions regardless, I am simply explaining that, given this shitty fucking month, you merging down does not at all sound bad. I am already not what I was and there is no going back."
+"I would have full knowledge of your apprehensions as well, would I not?" She held up her hands, smiling. "I am not trying to talk you into it, my dear, and I would still like to hear those apprehensions regardless, I am simply explaining that, given this shitty fucking month, you merging down does not at all sound bad. I am already not what I was. There is no going and there is no back."
 
 Ioan realized ey'd settled back into observing mode, simply watching silently. Not what ey was supposed to be working on. Ey shook emself back to the present and said, "My apprehensions mostly boil down to the fact that the merge would include May and I's entire relationship. The memories are one thing, and there are some that are pretty intensely personal, but I worry you'd also risk winding up with the feelings that resulted from the formation of those memories."
 
@@ -200,6 +200,6 @@ She was a long time in responding. "I am with Ioan on this, in that I am protect
 
 The longer May spoke, the more thoughtful True Name's expression became. She slouched down on the couch, until her head was resting against the back cushions. "I am not sure what to say to this just yet."
 
-"We've been thinking about it for weeks. You've had, what, twenty minutes?"
+"We've been thinking about it for days. You've had, what, twenty minutes?"
 
 She laughed and nodded to em. "Yes, of course. There is much to think about."

writing/post-self/mitzvot/028.md

@@ -114,7 +114,7 @@ She nodded. "She asked me to consider it, and then the topic simply never came u
 
 "Did she wind up expressing her own emotions differently from that merge?"
 
-She opened her mouth as if to reply, then closed it again, frowning. "I was going to snap at you," she admitted. "But you bring up a good point. She did, so some extent. What emotions she expressed, real or not, came more earnestly to her. She was more able to express empathy, even if it was in a very True Name fashion. She did not accept my merges --- or any of those from others in her stanza --- as blithely as she did End Waking's."
+She opened her mouth as if to reply, then closed it again, frowning. "I was going to snap at you," she admitted. "But you bring up a good point. She did, so some extent. What emotions she expressed, real or not, came more earnestly to her. She was more able to express empathy, even if it was still in a very True Name fashion. She did not accept my merges --- or any of those from others in her stanza --- as blithely as she did End Waking's."
 
 "I imagine the circumstances were a bit different," ey said. "Why were you going to snap at me?"
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md

@@ -155,7 +155,7 @@ Maybe shushed her quietly and helped her to lay out on her side before settling
 
 Ey stood and watched. Then ey sat on the beanbag and watched. Watched and waited, though for what ey didn't know.
 
-It was more than an hour before May forked beside em, took eir hand, and led em from the room. Neither of the skunks on the bed had moved or made a sound other than May asking True Name if she was okay in a quiet murmur at one point and the other skunk shaking her head.
+It was more than an hour before May forked beside em, took eir hand, and led em from the room. Neither of the skunks on the bed had moved or made a sound other than May asking True Name if she was okay at one point and the other skunk shaking her head.
 
 Once the door was shut behind them, May let out a shaky sigh and padded over to the kitchen. "That was very hard."