update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/021.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 Ioan awoke, arms empty, asleep on eir front. Ey was not a front-sleeper, so this came with a stiff neck that ey knew would dog em throughout the rest of the day.
 
-At some point during the night, May had apparently slid as carefully as she could from eir arms, bundled herself up in a second set of covers, and curled up at the far edge of the mattress.
+At some point during the night, May had apparently slid as carefully as she could from eir arms, bundled herself up in a second set of covers, and curled up at the far edge of the mattress, a muffled sniffle showing her to be awake.
 
 "You okay, May?" ey asked, sitting up beside her.
 
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ A pause, and then another shake of the head.
 
 "That's okay," ey said, doing eir best to keep disappointment out of eir voice. "I'll go get some stuff pulled together for while I'm out. Want a cup of coffee?"
 
-She nodded her head before pulling the covers up and over it.
+She nodded before pulling the covers up and over her head.
 
 That was probably a good enough sign for em to get up. If the skunk was already to the point of being nonverbal, it wouldn't do either of them any good to try and keep talking, regardless of how much ey wanted to address her every need.
 
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ While ey was prepping an stocking the food, another thought occurred to em. It w
 
 True Name sent a curt ping of acknowledgement when ey sent the information over via sensorium message.
 
-Ey tried not to let it rankle. Everything felt so confined and restricted. So much of eir circle of friends was out in the world and so few of them came over with any frequency that to suddenly have even those ey was closest too --- romantically in the case of May, and by sheer proximity in the case of True Name --- requesting eir absence felt like ey was being cut off from everyone.
+Ey tried not to let it rankle. Everything felt so confined and restricted. So much of eir circle of friends was out in the world and so few of them came over with any frequency that to suddenly have even those ey was closest to --- romantically in the case of May, and by friendship and sheer proximity in the case of True Name --- requesting eir absence felt like ey was being cut off from everyone.
 
 "Which isn't true," ey mumbled to emself while packing up eir notes. "Security's one thing, but it's not like everyone's inaccessible. Keeping everyone safe doesn't mean cutting off contact for yourself, Ioan. "
 
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ Ey nodded and stepped further into the room, leaning in to get eir arms around t
 
 She managed to sign an I-love-you before pulling the 'hood' of blankets down enough to hide her face.
 
-Knowing she'd only resent em if ey lingered or touched her again, ey clutched eir notebooks to eir chest, waved, and quickly stepped out to the field of dandelions and grass. The light and heat was a shock, and ey stood, swaying, for a moment, simply squinting out to the horizon.
+Knowing she'd only resent em if ey lingered or touched her again, ey clutched eir notebooks to eir chest, waved, and quickly stepped out to the field of dandelions and grass. The light and heat were a shock, and ey stood, swaying, for a moment, simply squinting out to the horizon.
 
 Ey queued up a message to Douglas and murmured, "I'm here, but going for a walk, first," before heading away from the house.
 
@@ -68,11 +68,11 @@ With the slightest break in the pressure, that loan was called due.
 
 Realizing that ey couldn't see the subtle rises in the land for the tears in eir eyes, ey simply sat down in the grass and cried. *If I am overflowing,* some remote part of em thought. *Then I can certainly see the appeal to it. Catharsis indeed.*
 
-Though there was certainly nothing ey could have done to stop it, ey owned it, simply letting it take its course, hollering curses into the cone of silence ey had the presence of mind to set up, clutching at the grass to keep emself at least somewhat grounded. Ey'd watched a friend (for that's what True Name was, wasn't she?) nearly get assassinated in front of em, had dealt with eir partner's lingering resentment towards her down-tree instance come into conflict with her constant presence, had watched May push True Name to near catatonia after encouraging her to accept a two-centuries-long merge from End Waking. Ey had watched both overflow in the span of a few hours.
+Though there was certainly nothing ey could have done to stop it, ey owned it, simply letting it take its course, hollering curses into the cone of silence ey had the presence of mind to set up, clutching at the grass to keep emself at least somewhat grounded. Ey'd watched a good friend (for that's what True Name was, wasn't she?) nearly get assassinated in front of em, had dealt with eir partner's lingering resentment towards her down-tree instance come into conflict with her constant presence, had watched May push True Name to near catatonia after encouraging her to accept a century and a half's worth of memories from End Waking. Ey had watched both overflow in the span of a few hours.
 
-And when ey stopped cycling over the last two weeks ((check timeline)), ey simply cried for the sheer relief it provided.
+And when ey stopped cycling over the last two weeks, ey simply cried for the sheer relief it provided.
 
-When ey'd cried emself out and cleaned emself up, ey finally levered emself up off the ground and trudged back toward the house. The least ey could do was say hi and get another cup of coffee.
+When ey'd cried emself out and cleaned emself up, ey levered emself up off the ground and trudged back toward the house. The least ey could do was say hi and get another cup of coffee.
 
 Douglas Hadje was sitting on the stoop of his house, waiting for em.
 
@@ -80,4 +80,4 @@ Douglas Hadje was sitting on the stoop of his house, waiting for em.
 
 He stood and offered em a hug, which ey accepted gratefully. "No worries, walks are good too. How's May?"
 
-"She's...well, she'll get by. I just hope it doesn't last too long. Thanks for letting me stay."
+"She's...well, she'll get by. I just hope it doesn't last too long. Thanks for letting me stay. Please tell me you put coffee on."