update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/005.md

@@ -2,11 +2,11 @@
 
 > *Convergence T-20 days, 18 hours, 41 minutes*
 
-It was not at all surprising that dinner at home was far less stressful than the dinner with the Odists out in Tycho's observatory. While the conversation throughout the meal had been nothing but pleasant, the food delightful, and the location and single candle a stunning setting for a dinner, a tension had nonetheless hung above the table at all times. While Sarah had appeared relaxed and True Name and Answers Will Not Help seemed to earnestly enjoy the evening, Tycho had been hovering on the edge of terror, Dear had seemed to have put on a mask of pleasantness that involved choosing its words most carefully, and Codrin had felt hypervigilant throughout.
+It was not at all surprising that dinner at home was far less stressful than the dinner with the Odists out in Tycho's observatory. While the conversation throughout the meal had been nothing but pleasant, the food delightful, and the location and single candle a stunning setting for a dinner, a tension had nonetheless hung above the table throughout. While Sarah had appeared relaxed and True Name and Answers Will Not Help seemed to earnestly enjoy the evening, Tycho had been hovering on the edge of terror, Dear had seemed to have put on a mask of pleasantness that involved choosing its words most carefully, and Codrin had remained hypervigilant.
 
 This was confirmed when they returned home and the instance of Dear which had accompanied em to the dinner sagged, exhausted, and then quit. The instance of Dear which had remained behind, when confronted with the onslaught of memories, sighed and simply shook its head. None of the triad seemed at all interested in discussing the dinner.
 
-It was eir other partner who had suggested the smaller party for the next night. While they hadn't explicitly mentioned that it would be a counter to the other party, it was certainly implied. Something to cleanse their palates, as well as to give further time for Codrin, Tycho, and Sarah to interact before they were to go on their journey. All three --- four, including Dear --- had immediately agreed.
+It was eir other partner who had suggested the smaller party for the next night. While they hadn't explicitly mentioned that it would be a counter to the other party, it was certainly implied. Something to cleanse palates, as well as to give further time for Codrin, Tycho, and Sarah to interact before they were to go on their journey. All three --- four, including Dear --- had immediately agreed.
 
 So it was that they sat around the table, there in the modern house on the prairie, sharing coffee and desserts and pleasant, easy conversation.
 
@@ -34,9 +34,9 @@ Still laughing, Tycho said, "It's probably no surprise that I was an astronomer
 
 "That makes your sim make a lot more sense."
 
-He nodded proudly. "The landscape is based off one of those dark-sky sites."
+He nodded proudly. "The landscape is based off one of those sites."
 
-Eyes turned to Codrin, who shrugged. "I went to school, then a year of a history degree at university before I uploaded to help my little brother out after my parents died. I never really had a job, just interests that got all the stronger once I got here."
+Eyes turned to Codrin, who shrugged. "I went to school, then a year of a history degree at university before I uploaded at twenty to help my little brother out after my parents died. I never really had a job, just interests that got all the stronger once I got here."
 
 *"Had you needed to get a job while down there, what would it have been?"* Dear asked. *"I have a guess, but I want to see how close I am."*
 
@@ -112,7 +112,9 @@ There were a few blips of other foxes behind Dear, startling Tycho.
 
 The fox flinched back as though slapped, its ears laid flat and its brow furrowed.
 
-"They provided additional information, though. They say that fourthrace had the same concept of forking that we appear to, so they understand our questions around dissolution strategies and clade structures. #Artemis also asked about their naming system, and apparently Turun Ka and Turun Ko are from something akin to a clade that existed before the voyage began. Something from when they were electronic but not on their system. Instead of forking, they have individual, fine-grained control over time. This is how they responded so quickly, apparently: they slowed time way down so that they had as much as they wanted to write their response. They ask if this will be accommodated during the talks and there's a note from True Name here saying that, even if it were possible, she's going to answer no. Tycho said she looked upset."
+"They provided additional information, though. They say that fourthrace had the same concept of forking that we appear to, so they understand our questions around dissolution strategies and clade structures. #Artemis also asked about their naming system, and apparently Turun Ka and Turun Ko are from something akin to a clade that existed before the voyage began. Something from when they were electronic but not on their system.
+
+``Instead of forking, they have individual, fine-grained control over time. This is how they responded so quickly, apparently: they slowed time way down so that they had as much as they wanted to write their response. They ask if this will be accommodated during the talks and there's a note from True Name here saying that, even if it were possible, she's going to answer no. Tycho said she looked upset."
 
 *"Unpleasant business,"* Dear muttered darkly. *"Unpleasant to an extreme."*