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date: 2019-09-25
weight: 2
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[![Kink bingo](/sex/kink/bingo.svg)](https://bbbingo.me/preparations-squadrons-voices-spans)

> I'm not really sure what to make of the fact that you made a bingo card for your kinks.

Well, hey, hit bingo, and maybe I explode or something. Besides, [bbbingo](https://bbbingo.me) was for a game jam.

> So tell me about your free space.

Actually, I think many of them come from a similar space: recasting bad or uncomfortable experiences from childhood into some positive light. A way to reclaim them and make them positive again.

> How is humiliation positive?

Okay, maybe some of them are not so much 'again'.

> I don't imagine non-consensual sex ever was, no.

Not really, but using kink as a coping mechanism for anxieties around rape is at least a way forward for me.

Ditto humiliation. Being made to feel inadequate, often by people I was supposed to look up to, was such a negative force in my life --- in Matthew's life --- that it left me with quite a bit of baggage. This is just a way to sort through it.

> Sexily.

I suppose. It's something of a metakink. Many of the others stem from that, or from a similar core interest.

Scent-play as a means of degradation: why would a snow leopard smell of canine? Fits in nicely with knotting. Why not toss in some species denial, too; no more kitty, you say 'arf' now.

Scruffing, in the context of furry, especially with felines, is a means of rendering one helpless. Coercion and weakened mental states fit as well. Those all sort of tag along with the non-consensual core kink

> So, pain and blood? Breathplay?

Yes. Abuse. Damage. Bad ends.

> Where do those come from?

Self hatred. Self harm. Destroy me before I destroy myself.

> Really?

No, of course not.

> But some part of you actively believes that? Some part of you actively craves someone destroying you? Beating you bloody? Choking you? Leaving you for dead with casual nonchalance?

Yes.