zk_html/writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/53.html

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                <h1>Zk | 53</h1>
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                <p>I had to stop, yesterday. I had to stop writing.</p>
<p>I don&rsquo;t know why that memory left me in tears, paws shaking too much to write. I don&rsquo;t even know why I decided to commit that memory to this journal. I started this project with the goal of trying to suss out my thoughts and feelings surrounding Kay, and yet I keep writing about this. I keep writing about God or the Church or leaving Saint John&rsquo;s.</p>
<p>I walked around the neighborhood afterward, trying to calm down, breathe deeply, be present. I did all the things I tell my patients to do when they panic, and I suppose some of it worked. I was at least able to look at the ground, look at the sky, look at the grass and trees and buildings and not feel this unnamed emotion.</p>
<p>If I had any doubt that Jeremy was right in suggesting journaling, I think it has been well and truly dashed by now.</p>
<p>This feeling, then. It is somewhere between shame and guilt. It has that bitter-savory flavor to it. It makes my fur feel clumped and matted.</p>
<p>If I cannot decide </p>
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                <p>Page generated on 2021-06-02</p>
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update from sparkleup 2021-06-02 07:55:10 +00:00			`<!doctype html>`
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			`<h1>Zk \| 53</h1>`
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update from sparkleup 2021-06-02 07:57:59 +00:00			`<p>I had to stop, yesterday. I had to stop writing.</p>`
			`<p>I don’t know why that memory left me in tears, paws shaking too much to write. I don’t even know why I decided to commit that memory to this journal. I started this project with the goal of trying to suss out my thoughts and feelings surrounding Kay, and yet I keep writing about this. I keep writing about God or the Church or leaving Saint John’s.</p>`
update from sparkleup 2021-06-03 06:20:10 +00:00			`<p>I walked around the neighborhood afterward, trying to calm down, breathe deeply, be present. I did all the things I tell my patients to do when they panic, and I suppose some of it worked. I was at least able to look at the ground, look at the sky, look at the grass and trees and buildings and not feel this unnamed emotion.</p>`
			`<p>If I had any doubt that Jeremy was right in suggesting journaling, I think it has been well and truly dashed by now.</p>`
			`<p>This feeling, then. It is somewhere between shame and guilt. It has that bitter-savory flavor to it. It makes my fur feel clumped and matted.</p>`
			`<p>If I cannot decide </p>`
update from sparkleup 2021-06-02 07:55:10 +00:00			`</article>`
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