So here’s the dealyo. Last night, I finished fixing the QL-17 after five flushes of the shutter and several Q-tips. I got people angry at me online, then went to bed. I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about burning my hand on the stove for some reason. I got up and made myself a cup of tea, spending about fifteen minutes putting my hand over the still-hot element like I was daring myself to just put it down on there or something. Of course, it friggin’ hurt, so that’d bring me back to my senses, but then I’d do it again. Stupid.</p>
<p>I got back online after a bit and fiddled with the QL-17. Apparently, I failed at cleaning the lens, so I took it back apart and cleaned the top element again, pretty much permanently fucking it up by using a too-abrasive cloth. I loaded some 400TX so that I can see how badly I damaged it, and everything seemed to be working fine. Speeds are okay, metering was working, I was pretty happy anyway, so I went back to bed (about 2).</p>
<p>The next hour’s sorta hazy. I remember catching the cat chewing on my phone cord again, scruffing her, and yelling at her for a bit. I dragged her to the bathroom and gave her a brief bath/punishment which she really didn’t deserve. Seeing her all freaked out and scared of me made me snap or something, I guess. I sort of remember being curled naked by the bookshelf hyperventilating and crying, then moving to my bed where the bar wouldn’t poke me in the back and doing the same. Breathing was really fast and forced, and I was nearly growling at moments. Next thing I knew, it was 3, the cat was locked out of my room, and my eyes were burning.</p>
<p>Today’s just kind of weird. I slept through my first class, which pissed me off, then took my camera to the Alley Cat before my lesson and found the meter broken (on the QL-17, it won’t let you take a picture in Tv if it doesn’t meter correctly, so now I have a fully-manual camera), which made me incredibly depressed. At the Alley Cat, I got a free mocha from Neal, then had my best voice lesson yet this year. Now I’m just confused. Been a weird couple of hours.</p>
<p>Also, I have these weird.. things on my knuckles of my left hand. They’re almost like callouses, but they’re kind of puffy instead of hard. Greenish-brown of dead skin, and rough, but not hardened or nerveless.</p>
<p>Anyway, the cat’s still kinda shaken, but fine, almost like she understood that things weren’t quite right last night. She was purring for food this morning and head-bumping me cautiously. Sleeping under the covers now</p>
