zk_html/writing/ally/self-harm/suicide/004.html

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                <h1>Zk | 004</h1>
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<p>date: 2019-10-04
weight: 4</p>
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<p>When I first started therapy, I did what I thought was the right thing by bringing an open mind. It wasn&rsquo;t enough for me to seek help, I had to be told what was wrong with me. So anxious was I to not diagnose myself, I had to let someone do the work to pry the symptoms from me.</p>
<p>I didn&rsquo;t tell Dr Johnston that I was feeling bad. I told him my boss told me I was angry. I didn&rsquo;t tell him that I was depressed, I told him that James was worried about how anxious I was.</p>
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<p>And so you got treated for anxiety.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>And so I got treated for anxiety. I was given clonazepam to take daily and lorazepam for breakthrough anxiety.</p>
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<p>You have always had issues with control. You always needed to be on top of a situation.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>And all my deepest fears, all of those things I would ruminate on during a panic attack, would surround the fact that I wasn&rsquo;t in control of a situation, yes. It made sense to treat the anxiety.</p>
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<p>It hurt.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes. I was given a long-acting anxiolytic and a more powerful, shorter-lasting one for breakthrough anxiety. When things hurt, they calmed and soothed the pain. They removed it.</p>
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<p>They removed a lot more than just the pain of panic.</p>
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<p>Yes.</p>
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                <p>Page generated on 2020-06-24</p>
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update from sparkleup 2020-04-25 05:00:08 +00:00			`<!doctype html>`
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			`<h1>Zk \| 004</h1>`
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			`<article class="content">`
			`<hr />`
			`<p>date: 2019-10-04`
			`weight: 4</p>`
			`<hr />`
update from sparkleup 2020-06-24 07:15:07 +00:00			`<p>When I first started therapy, I did what I thought was the right thing by bringing an open mind. It wasn’t enough for me to seek help, I had to be told what was wrong with me. So anxious was I to not diagnose myself, I had to let someone do the work to pry the symptoms from me.</p>`
			`<p>I didn’t tell Dr Johnston that I was feeling bad. I told him my boss told me I was angry. I didn’t tell him that I was depressed, I told him that James was worried about how anxious I was.</p>`
update from sparkleup 2020-04-25 05:00:08 +00:00			`<blockquote>`
			`<p>And so you got treated for anxiety.</p>`
			`</blockquote>`
			`<p>And so I got treated for anxiety. I was given clonazepam to take daily and lorazepam for breakthrough anxiety.</p>`
			`<blockquote>`
			`<p>You have always had issues with control. You always needed to be on top of a situation.</p>`
			`</blockquote>`
update from sparkleup 2020-06-24 07:15:07 +00:00			`<p>And all my deepest fears, all of those things I would ruminate on during a panic attack, would surround the fact that I wasn’t in control of a situation, yes. It made sense to treat the anxiety.</p>`
update from sparkleup 2020-04-25 05:00:08 +00:00			`<blockquote>`
			`<p>It hurt.</p>`
			`</blockquote>`
			`<p>Yes. I was given a long-acting anxiolytic and a more powerful, shorter-lasting one for breakthrough anxiety. When things hurt, they calmed and soothed the pain. They removed it.</p>`
			`<blockquote>`
			`<p>They removed a lot more than just the pain of panic.</p>`
			`</blockquote>`
			`<p>Yes.</p>`
			`</article>`
			`<footer>`
update from sparkleup 2020-06-24 07:15:07 +00:00			`<p>Page generated on 2020-06-24</p>`
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