153 lines
7.9 KiB
HTML
153 lines
7.9 KiB
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<html>
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<head>
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<title>Zk | Shanerak</title>
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<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
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<meta charset="utf-8" />
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<body>
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<main>
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<header>
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<h1>Zk | Shanerak</h1>
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</header>
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<article class="content">
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<p><span class="tag">diary</span> <span class="tag">livejournal</span> <span class="tag">fossils</span></p>
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<p>Really sort of torn up about all this, and I can feel all sorts of defense mechanisms rising to the fight without my approval :| Hopefully I'll get over it by tomorrow.</p>
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<details><summary>Read more...</summary>
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(7:35:52 PM) Drab Makyo: Dook.
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(7:35:57 PM) Shanerak: yap
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(7:36:03 PM) Drab Makyo: How's it going?
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(7:36:08 PM) Shanerak: not bad
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(7:36:10 PM) Shanerak: you?
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(7:36:52 PM) Drab Makyo: Alright, I guess. Just walked the dog and whatnot. Kinda bored now.
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(7:36:57 PM) Shanerak: ah
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(7:37:04 PM) Shanerak: same here, just sittin
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(7:38:20 PM) Drab Makyo: Nice. Got the day off?
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(7:38:35 PM) Shanerak: no, lol
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(7:38:38 PM) Shanerak: i was at work today
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(7:38:45 PM) Drab Makyo: Oh, haha, oops. Alright :o)
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(7:39:57 PM) Shanerak: yeah
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(7:40:04 PM) Shanerak: i found the normal verson of schwienne
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(7:40:05 PM) Shanerak: lol
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(7:40:19 PM) Drab Makyo: Oh, awesome :3 The video, or just the song?
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(7:41:25 PM) Shanerak: the song
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(7:42:25 PM) Drab Makyo: http://youtube.com/watch?v=2kDbGdoDXE4
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(7:43:27 PM) Shanerak: oh that
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(7:43:30 PM) Shanerak: haha yeah ive seen that
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(7:43:37 PM) Drab Makyo: Hehe, alright :o)
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(7:45:38 PM) Shanerak: weird video
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(7:53:24 PM) Shanerak: tired :|
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(7:53:35 PM) Shanerak: started using my old ass aim name on irc
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(7:53:37 PM) Shanerak: beachjackal
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(7:53:38 PM) Shanerak: lol
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(7:53:42 PM) Drab Makyo: Me too. Lonely up in FoCo, too.,
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(7:53:47 PM) Drab Makyo: Haha, yeah, saw you online :3
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(7:53:53 PM) Shanerak: lol
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(8:03:00 PM) Drab Makyo: So what was Jill's post about? Media or Necco?
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(8:03:43 PM) Shanerak: jeff :3
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(8:03:49 PM) Drab Makyo: Pff, nice :o)
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(8:03:59 PM) Shanerak: yeah he's toolbox number one at this point
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(8:04:03 PM) Drab Makyo: Nice :D
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(8:04:11 PM) Drab Makyo: Sounds like things are changing down there.
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(8:04:20 PM) Shanerak: yeah, they are
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(8:04:34 PM) Drab Makyo: Heh, who does she 'fancy quite a bit'?
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(8:04:46 PM) Drab Makyo: Gossip, lol :|
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(8:04:50 PM) Shanerak: oh
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(8:04:53 PM) Shanerak: well
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(8:04:59 PM) Shanerak: me
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(8:05:11 PM) Drab Makyo: Ah, heh, was gonna ask :o)
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(8:05:16 PM) Shanerak: yeah :|
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(8:06:57 PM) Drab Makyo: Mutual, then?
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(8:07:09 PM) Shanerak: not sure about that one
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(8:07:13 PM) Shanerak: see im still
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(8:07:16 PM) Shanerak: gay?
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(8:07:20 PM) Shanerak: its real weird
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(8:07:40 PM) Drab Makyo: Well, hey, I did the girl thing, too.
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(8:07:47 PM) Drab Makyo: Twice, even :|
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(8:07:52 PM) Shanerak: twice? o_O
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(8:07:59 PM) Drab Makyo: Moondog and Kayla.
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(8:08:06 PM) Shanerak: ohh
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(8:08:10 PM) Shanerak: who's kayla? :P
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(8:08:47 PM) Drab Makyo: Some girl end sophomore year of college. Didn't last, 'cause she turned out to be kind of a terrible person.
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(8:09:22 PM) Shanerak: oh, yeah
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(8:09:24 PM) Shanerak: you told me that
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(8:10:08 PM) Shanerak: anyway yeah, its weird
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(8:10:17 PM) Shanerak: kinda weird talking to you about it, because I don't wanna seem like
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(8:10:25 PM) Shanerak: I dunno
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(8:10:28 PM) Shanerak: lol
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(8:10:32 PM) Drab Makyo: Rynden again? Or Ty again?
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(8:10:37 PM) Shanerak: no
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(8:10:48 PM) Shanerak: whatcha mean?
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(8:13:07 PM) Drab Makyo: Well, first of all, should admit that I'm not really doing as okay with this as I've been letting on. Those were really pointed questions, and I probably shouldn't have asked them in the first place c.c
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(8:13:23 PM) Drab Makyo: Such a stupid, furry thing to do :o)
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(8:13:34 PM) Shanerak: Well, I know it wouldn't be like
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(8:13:36 PM) Shanerak: easy
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(8:13:44 PM) Shanerak: but I was confused as to what you're asking
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(8:13:56 PM) Shanerak: of course not rynden or ty, ty has a boyfriend and that was over years ago
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(8:13:59 PM) Shanerak: same with ren
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(8:14:37 PM) Drab Makyo: Just feels like what happened when you wound up with Rynden for a while, or canceled plans for Colorado the first time where I didn't find out about something until after the fact. Feels kinda like I was just a hobby, or something c.c
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(8:14:57 PM) Shanerak: No, you weren't a hobby :(
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(8:15:04 PM) Shanerak: honestly here's what happened
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(8:15:34 PM) Shanerak: long distance stuff is hard since you know
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(8:15:38 PM) Shanerak: we never see eachother
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(8:15:53 PM) Shanerak: so, im lonely here, I missed the times we had before where I felt stuff
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(8:16:05 PM) Shanerak: but when we're apart really we're not.. experiencing how eachother are
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(8:16:37 PM) Shanerak: and I thought it'd work out but honestly the last trip out there, I didn't feel right
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(8:16:53 PM) Shanerak: I guess something changed in me, obviously more than you
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(8:17:07 PM) Shanerak: I thought part of it was stress from the job stuff, but I guess not
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(8:17:23 PM) Shanerak: and kinda driving the nail into the board was like when you would sleep on the couch, etc
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(8:17:41 PM) Shanerak: and I just realized that I was no longer in that completely comfortable position with you
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(8:18:47 PM) Drab Makyo: Yeah, I know I felt the change too. I really can't say I'm surprised, but I guess that doesn't make it easier :o)
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(8:19:27 PM) Drab Makyo: As an aside, I know we've talked about how I really have a hard time sleeping with someone else there, like when you lived out here.
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(8:19:36 PM) Drab Makyo: So I really meant nothing by that
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(8:19:42 PM) Shanerak: I know, it just uh
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(8:19:45 PM) Shanerak: is weird for me
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(8:19:58 PM) Shanerak: but I guess its a mix of things
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(8:20:05 PM) Shanerak: basically though you weren't how I'd.. come to remember you
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(8:20:12 PM) Shanerak: and I'm sure things were like that for me, with you, as well
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(8:20:14 PM) Shanerak: in the end
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(8:20:26 PM) Drab Makyo: Of course.
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(8:21:31 PM) Shanerak: I should've let you know sooner, and I'm sorry for that
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(8:21:35 PM) Shanerak: but I felt kinda trapped :|
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(8:21:39 PM) Shanerak: like I'd said so much
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(8:21:48 PM) Shanerak: then suddenly felt so weird, but was expected to.. stick to it?
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(8:23:51 PM) Drab Makyo: Yeah, I know how it goes. And waiting to let me know is understandable too, been in that position before.
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(8:24:31 PM) Shanerak: I'm sorry anyway
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(8:24:47 PM) Drab Makyo: Heh, well, alright :o)
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(8:26:47 PM) Shanerak: anything else?
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(8:27:21 PM) Drab Makyo: Hmm? Not really o.o Wish y'all the best of luck :3
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(8:27:45 PM) Shanerak: we're not dating
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(8:28:19 PM) Drab Makyo: Oh, guess I misinterpreted, sorry c.c
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(8:28:27 PM) Shanerak: no its okay
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(8:28:49 PM) Shanerak: I just wasnt sure how to.. take that :|
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(8:29:46 PM) Drab Makyo: Oh. Er.. didn't mean anything sarcastic by it c.c
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(8:30:09 PM) Shanerak: alright
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(8:30:12 PM) Shanerak: its just.. delicate
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(8:30:30 PM) Drab Makyo: I know, my bad c.c
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(8:30:35 PM) Shanerak: its fine
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(8:34:36 PM) Shanerak: It's just.. really hard to have you and her not be in a weird situation
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(8:34:38 PM) Shanerak: for either x.x
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(8:35:31 PM) Drab Makyo: Yeah, makes sense.
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(8:37:37 PM) Shanerak: ff
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(8:37:49 PM) Shanerak: sorry I didn't mean to.. be snarky at you
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(8:38:12 PM) Drab Makyo: Heh, s'okie. Just misunderstood :o)
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(8:38:19 PM) Shanerak: well its fine
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(8:38:30 PM) Shanerak: we just decided that.. a) kinda soon for that?
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(8:38:36 PM) Shanerak: and im sitll pretty confused
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(8:38:38 PM) Shanerak: about everything
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(8:38:47 PM) Shanerak: and I just want to figure out my life before dating anyone
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(8:38:49 PM) Shanerak: or anything
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(8:39:11 PM) Drab Makyo: Yeah, got a fair bit of that to do myself.
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(8:41:03 PM) Drab Makyo: Anyhow, I'm gonna go grab a bath. Way tired and not thinking clearly.
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(8:41:09 PM) Shanerak: okay, take care
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</details
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2008-05-27 03:46:57</p>
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