<li>Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning are not natural.</li>
<li>Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.</li>
<li>Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.</li>
<li>Straight marriage will be less meaningful, Just as Britney Spears's 55-hour marriage romp was meaningful. </li>
<li>Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal. </li>
<li>Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.</li>
<li>Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.</li>
<li>Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall. </li>
<li>Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license. </li>
<li>Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children. </li>
<li>Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans or increased racial and gender equality. </li>
<li>Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.</li>
</ol>
<detailstext="Open Letter to Dr. Laura."><summary>Open Letter to Dr. Laura.</summary>
(Mirrored from <ahref="http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/joke/laura.htm">http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/joke/laura.htm</a>
<blockquote>
<i>For those of you that are not following the recent controversy
that has to do with Laura Schlessinger: she is a radio personality who
dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Paramount
Television Group is currently producing a "Dr. Laura"
television show. Recently she has become a convert to Judaism, and now
she is Ba'al T'shuvah. Recently, she has made some statements about
homosexuals that has caused the Canadian anti-hate laws to censure
her... The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura which was posted on
the internet... </i></blockquote>
<h1>an open letter to Dr. Laura</h1>
<h2>J. Kent Ashcraft</h2>
<h3>May 2000</h3>
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that
<ahref="#L18.22">Leviticus 18:22</a> clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific
laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord (<ahref="#L1.9">Lev 1:9</a>). The problem is
my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite
them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
<ahref="#E21.7">Exodus 21:7</a>. In this day and age, what do you think
would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness (<ahref="#L15.19-24">Lev 15:19-24</a>).
The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take
offense.
d) <ahref="#L25.44">Lev. 25:44</a> states that I may indeed possess
slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
<ahref="#E35.2">Exodus 35:2</a> clearly states he should be put to
death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
Abomination (<ahref="#L11.10">Lev 11:10</a>), it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) <ahref="#L21.20">Lev 21:20</a> states that I may not approach the
altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle
room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
<ahref="#L19.27">Lev 19:27</a>. How should they die?
i) I know from <ahref="#L11.6-8">Lev 11:6-8</a> that touching the skin
of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates <ahref="#L19.19">Lev 19:19</a> by
planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary
that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
them? (<ahref="#L24.10-16">Lev 24:10-16</a>) Couldn't we just burn them
to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (<ahref="#L20.14">Lev. 20:14</a>)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
</details>
<p><lj-cuttext="Associated verses.">
<aname="verses"></a>
<hralign="CENTER"size="1"width="75%"/>
<i>These are the Biblical verses refered to above, in two different
translations: the King James Version [KJV], and New International Version
[NIV]</i>
<blockquote>
<fontsize="-1"><aname="L18.22"></a> Lev 18:22 [KJV] Thou shalt not
lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. [NIV] Do not lie
with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.</font>
<fontsize="-1"><aname="L1.9"></a>Lev 1:9 [KJV] But his inwards and
his legs shall he wash in water: and the priest shall burn all on the
altar, to be a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet
savour unto the L<fontsize="-1">ORD</font>. [NIV] He is to wash the
inner parts and the legs with water, and the priest is to burn all of it
on the altar. It is a burnt offering, an offering made by fire, an aroma
pleasing to the L<fontsize="-1">ORD</font>. </font>
<fontsize="-1"><aname="E21.7"></a>Exodus 21:7 [KJV] And if a man
sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the
menservants do. [NIV] If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is
not to go free as menservants do.</font>
<fontsize="-1"><aname="L15.19-24"></a> Lev 15:19-24 [KJV] And if a
woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be
put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until
the even. <fontsize="-1">20</font> And every thing that she lieth upon
in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth
upon shall be unclean. <fontsize="-1">21</font> And whosoever toucheth
her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be
unclean until the even. <fontsize="-1">22</font> And whosoever
toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe
himself in water, and be unclean until the even. <fontsize="-1">23</font></p>
<spanclass="nv">shall</span><spanclass="nv">be</span><spanclass="nv">unclean</span><spanclass="nv">seven</span><spanclass="nv">days</span><spanclass="c1">; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be</span>
<spanclass="nv">monthly</span><spanclass="nv">flow</span><spanclass="nv">touches</span><spanclass="nv">him</span>, <spanclass="nv">he</span><spanclass="nv">will</span><spanclass="nv">be</span><spanclass="nv">unclean</span><spanclass="k">for</span><spanclass="nv">seven</span><spanclass="nv">days</span><spanclass="c1">; any bed he</span>
<spanclass="nv">that</span><spanclass="nv">hath</span><spanclass="nv">cursed</span><spanclass="nv">without</span><spanclass="nv">the</span><spanclass="nv">camp</span><spanclass="c1">; and let all that heard him lay their</span>
<spanclass="nv">with</span><spanclass="nv">a</span><spanclass="nv">curse</span><spanclass="c1">; so they brough him to Moses. (His mother's name was</span>