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<h1>Zk | 02</h1>
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<p>date: 2019-12-03
weight: 2</p>
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<blockquote>
<p>At what point would you say you burned out?</p>
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<p>That&rsquo;s one of those surprisingly difficult questions. I can&rsquo;t point to a day or week when things went bad, nor even a month. At some point, I just looked around me, at my office and my coworkers and my job and said, &ldquo;I hate all of this.&rdquo;</p>
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<blockquote>
<p>When did you notice it, then?</p>
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<p>Does &ldquo;<a class="pulse" href="/self-harm/suicide">when I tried to kill myself</a>&rdquo; count?</p>
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<blockquote>
<p>Not my department.</p>
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<p>I spent a lot of time trying to fix it. I spent a lot of time changing little bits about my day or my desk or my tasks, and there was just not much that could put a dent into that mixture of loathing and anxiety that surrounded my day.</p>
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<p>And eventually, you just dumped the whole thing in favor of something else.</p>
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<p>Yes.</p>
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<p>Did it work?</p>
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<p>Oh, definitely. I jumped at the opportunity to stop working for an insurance company that just happened to need some software and to start working for a software company with a name that folks knew making products that I believed in.</p>
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<p>Moving to Canonical came on such a whim, too. I met up with John Wright &mdash; such a nice man &mdash; at Mayor of Old Town and we talked over pints about the good and the bad of our respective jobs.</p>
<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve been thinking about applying at Canonical,&rdquo; he said, twisting his glass between his hands. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not unhappy at where I am, I&rsquo;m just&hellip;not happy either.&rdquo;</p>
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<p>I nodded, and made silent note to check out their postings later that night.</p>
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<p>Did you wind up stealing John&rsquo;s idea?</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Oh, totally. I apologized to him after the fact, too, for taking his idea and actually winding up with the job. He laughed and said that he didn&rsquo;t think he&rsquo;d be able to work from home anyway.</p>
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<blockquote>
<p>Whereas that saved you.</p>
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<p>Yes.</p>
<p>In a way.</p>
<p>For a while.</p>
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