<p>Five months ago, on March 21, I had the worst night of my life, period, <em>ever</em>, and tomorrow marks five months to the day when I returned back to work for the first time after that. That makes it May 5 in this new springtime.</p>
<p>And unlike the previous springtime of adolescence, this is a springtime of unknowing. Before, I always knew what would come next. Elementary to middle to high school, and college afterward. College to a job to retirement. Buy a house, get a dog, get married. But now, I don’t know when summer comes, I don’t know when the year ends.</p>
<p>Four hours ago, I experienced hypnotism for the first time, and the imagery of springtime was cemented in place. I haven’t been this relaxed (even with the tic) since the summer of the previous cycle.</p>
<p>There are things embedded in the western doxa which will make this all sound so trite to just about every one of you, but folks, life is so bigÂand <em>so wonderful,</em>Âthe high points so exalted and the low points so profound, that there is honestly no better reason to go on living than life itself.</p>
<p>Have at it.</p>
<p>All my love,</p>
<p>~M</p>
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