update from sparkleup

diary/2022-01-21.html

@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@
 <p>However, one of the things I remembered of this piece was the note from the composer about writing it during the final days of his mother&rsquo;s illness and the ways in which large swaths of the requiem mass didn&rsquo;t fit the emotions he was going through or wanted to nurture through the process of grief. Dwale&rsquo;s death hit me particularly hard not just because we were friends, but because the last thing he said to me one-on-one spoke of a low sense of self-worth on its part. It felt that it couldn&rsquo;t understand why I was so supportive of it or what it did to deserve that support. The process of grieving while trying to process a last conversation like that turned an already deeply introspective act up to eleven. It wasn&rsquo;t a question of what I could have said differently in that conversation, as I think I handled it fairly well, but more a question of how I honor this person who meant a lot to me in the face of its death.</p>
 <!--## Applicability-->
 
-<p>Add in the fact of my dog&rsquo;s sudden passing in mid December and the whole last two years, and death and grief have been on my mind a lot. As I process so much through writing, I always try to be deliberate about tackling my emotions. This approach of acknowledging death while at the same time very deliberately doing so through the lens of growth (in Lauridsen&rsquo;s case, the rest and hope in spirituality) is something that I wanted to look into. With my essay this semester, I want to, yes, process my grief, but also to use it as a stepping-stone to becoming something better. That could be something as trite as becoming a better writer, but I also want to come out of this project as a different person, hopefully someone better..</p>
+<p>Add in the fact of my dog&rsquo;s sudden passing in mid December and the whole last two years, and death and grief have been on my mind a lot. As I process so much through writing, I always try to be deliberate about tackling my emotions. This approach of acknowledging death while at the same time very deliberately doing so through the lens of growth (in Lauridsen&rsquo;s case, the rest and hope in spirituality) is something that I wanted to look into. With my essay this semester, I want to, yes, process my grief, but also to use it as a stepping-stone to becoming something better. That could be something as trite as becoming a better writer, but I also want to come out of this project as a different person, hopefully someone better.</p>
 <p>Beyond the more intellectual take on this piece, one thing that I found useful about it was the shape of each of the movements and of the piece as a whole. As I plan on tackling the essay through the framing device of the four seasons, I also need to consider that shape-made-of-shapes in order to make for a more cohesive end product. There will be structural similarities between each of the sections of the essay &mdash; the poem and related works to dissect as well as my related thoughts in footnotes &mdash; which will lead to those inner arcs. It would be vanishingly easy to write four essays about related topics, but much more compelling to write a four-part essay that has an arc of its own.</p>
 <p>In particular, on listening to &ldquo;Lux&rdquo; with a more critical ear, I kept hearing various callbacks to the melody introduced right off the bat in the first movement, and finding a way to tie everything together at the end is something I&rsquo;m already considering.</p>
 <div class="footnote">