update from sparkleup
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<p>Finally, she said, “I think that I will be. I am of three minds and will ever be such. I will have moments of happiness, moments of sadness and terror and regret, but they will ever be in thirds.”</p>
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<p>“Are you okay with that?”</p>
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<p>Sasha stood and stretched, finally turning her gaze back to them. “Himself has but to will And easy as a Star Look down upon Captivity And laugh.”</p>
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<p>With no further explanation, she bowed and edged around them on her way down off the rock. She moved quietly and efficiently, and it was a matter of seconds before they lost sight of her in the trees.</p>
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<p>With no further explanation, she bowed and edged around them on her way down off the rock. She moved quietly and efficiently, and it was a matter of moments before they lost sight of her in the trees.</p>
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<p>They sat, silent, through the remainder of the evening.</p>
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<hr />
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<p>The next Odists to visit were A Finger Pointing and Slow Hours, once more arriving as a pair and hugging Sasha in turn. They set up a cone of silence and spoke together for a scant twenty minutes before dropping it again and inviting Ioan and May to join. They pulled the beanbag a little closer to the couch and settled down on it together to listen.</p>
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<p>“It is easy to say that all is full of love,” Slow Hours began, smiling to Sasha. “But now, I think, you have a sense of your own.”</p>
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<p>The skunk smiled and bowed her head.</p>
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<p>“Life will be easier for a while, and then it will be harder. You will share your loves, first with another and then with solitude, and with each you long for the other until you return. Does not matter a bit, though, so I would not worry.”</p>
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<p>“Life will be easier for a while, and then it will be harder. You will share your loves, first with another and then with solitude, and with each you long for the other until you return.” Her expression slipped into a lopsided grin. “Does not matter a bit, though, so I would not worry.”</p>
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<p>“Mere breath?” Sasha asked, grinning.</p>
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<p>“A chasing after the wind, yes.”</p>
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<p>“And you will come to a performance,” A Finger Pointing added. “I am no oracle, but if you do not come, I will hunt you down myself. It has been too long, my dear.”</p>
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<p>“And if you do not watch me perform my monologue, I will trim your claws too short in your sleep,” May said. “There is a monologue night coming up soon.”</p>
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<p>“Far worse than being hunted down, that. I will be there.”</p>
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<p>May preened.</p>
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<p>After that, they fell into quiet conversation. Sasha joined Ioan and May on the beanbag to get some pets — the talk having apparently nudged the affectionate part of her to the fore — while Slow Hours spoke in less ‘will’s and ‘shall’s and settled down into the normal conversational mode of the rest of the Odists. They spoke of performances past, going all the way back to before the founding of the System, with the four Odists performing a small segment of the Dickinson play they always seemed to quote from, a first for any of the Bălans in nearly fifty years.</p>
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<p>After that, they fell into quiet conversation. Sasha joined Ioan and May on the beanbag to get some pets — the talk having apparently nudged the affectionate part of her to the fore — while Slow Hours spoke in fewer ‘will’s and ‘shall’s and settled down into the normal conversational mode of the rest of the Odists. They spoke of performances past, going all the way back to before the founding of the System, back to their time in high school. The four Odists performing a small segment of the Dickinson play they always seemed to quote from, a first for any of the Bălans in nearly fifty years.</p>
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<p>Ey didn’t understand, but ey didn’t need to.</p>
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<hr />
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<p>It was nearly a month before Debarre, Douglas, and Sasha agreed to meet. Debarre’s side of the conversation remained somewhat stiff and distant, while Douglas seemed to have set aside any sense of caution, speaking with palpable excitement. As soon as he’d learned of the change of name back to something more closely associated with his distant relative, he’d hardly talked of anything else.</p>
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<p>The meeting was set up for dinner on the dandelion-dotted field, a small potluck picnic late in the evening so that the skunks wouldn’t overheat in the sun.</p>
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<p>Everyone arrived simultaneously by Debarre’s request so that no one was left waiting for anyone else. Ioan, May, and Sasha stepped into the sim just in time to see Debarre and End Waking arriving. The six of them stood in a circle in front of Douglas’s stoop, dandelions and evening bumblers tickling at their ankles.</p>
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<p>Or, at least they stood in a circle for a moment. Sasha stumbled backwards from the group, turning in two slow, wavering circles before falling to her knees.</p>
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<p>“Sasha?” Ioan said, watching anxiously.</p>
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<p>“Too much,” she mumbled. “Too much at once.”</p>
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<p>“Too much,” she mumbled shakily. “Too much at once.”</p>
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<p>May padded over to kneel next to her. “May I hug?”</p>
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<p>After a moment of strained silence, Sasha slumped against May’s side, and the two sat together while she let out that overwhelming emotion within a cone of silence.</p>
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<p>Ioan, Debarre, End Waking, and Douglas took the time to set up the picnic, a rickety table bearing plates of various salads, roasted vegetables, and the makings of venison sandwiches, courtesy End Waking. They moved in silence, hesitantly, each pausing every now and then to watch as Sasha slowly worked to calm herself.</p>
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<p>“That was not the greeting that I had intended,” she said, once she had cleaned up in Douglas’s house and joined them at the table to pick up a plate. “I was hoping that I would be able to greet you all politely, settle into some easier conversation, but that of True Name has not been here in too long. This place is too charged with memories, as are your faces. Even for that of End Waking and May, there is too much bound up in the last few months.”</p>
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<p>“Are you feeling better now?” Douglas asked.</p>
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<p>She nodded. “I am leaning on the other portions of myself now. I will have much processing to do yet, but tonight is for dinner with friends, or at least with those I hope will be friends.”</p>
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<p>“I mean, I hope we can be friends.” Douglas laughed. “I mean, those are the first words we’ve ever really spoken to each other, but I’m happy to have the chance to meet you.”</p>
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<p>“Or at least a third of me.”</p>
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<p>“I hope we can be friends.” Douglas laughed. “I mean, those are the first words we’ve ever really spoken to each other, but I’m happy to have the chance to meet you.”</p>
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<p>“Or at least meet a third of me.”</p>
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<p>“Well, yes, but you’re still a new person to me and very…uh,” he trailed off, frowning down to his plate. “Well, very close to someone I’ve thought a lot about, I guess.”</p>
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<p>She smiled and leaned over to pat his shoulder. “We will talk, dear. That part of me has heard so much about you and is so colored by what the other parts of me know, that I am eager to learn, as well.”</p>
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<p>Debarre remained stiff and awkward, even as they settled down on the blanket to eat, plates piled high with various dishes and cups of sangria set carefully in the grass behind them. He wouldn’t make eye contact with Sasha and seemed hesitant to speak to Ioan and May.</p>
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<p>Eventually, he cleared his throat, set his plate down, and stared steadily at Sasha. “I’d like an apology. At least from the, uh…what did you call it? That part of you?”</p>
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<p>As she had done with Serene, Sasha set her plate down as well, folded her paws in her lap, and bowed to the weasel. Ioan could tell by the set of her features and the straightness of her shoulders that she was indeed doing her best to keep that part of her at the fore. “I am sorry, Debarre. The things that I did were for what I thought was best, but they wound up hurting everyone. They were not fair to you and I apologize for the pain I caused. While I do not think I even <em>could</em> anymore, I will endeavor not to act in such single-minded ways again.”</p>
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<p>Ioan couldn’t read Debarre’s expression well enough to judge his thoughts on the matter, but judging by the way he loosened up and joined in more of the conversations after that, speaking even with Sasha, he seemed to at least have accepted the words to an extent.</p>
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<p>Ioan couldn’t read Debarre’s expression well enough to gauge his thoughts on the matter, but judging by the way he loosened up and joined in more of the conversations after that, speaking even with Sasha, he seemed to at least have accepted the words to an extent.</p>
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<p>Debarre and End Waking stayed for a few hours after dinner, long enough to see the first stars show themselves above the field, before they stepped back to the skunk’s sim.</p>
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<p>Shortly after, Sasha stood, the other three following suit. She hugged Ioan and May around the shoulders and gave each of them a nose-dot kiss to the cheek. “If you two do not mind, I would like to go for a walk with Douglas and speak with him alone.”</p>
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<p>They nodded and returned the hugs and kisses, getting hugs from Douglas as well before they stepped back home.</p>
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<p>(( Ioan and May talk ))</p>
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<p>“Do you think Douglas still puts too much stock in who you used to be?” Ioan asked once they were home and comfortable.</p>
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<p>May was a while in answering. “Perhaps, yes. We are not Michelle, have not been for centuries. None of us are Sasha — least of all Sasha.”</p>
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<p>Ioan nodded, brushing out the skunk’s tail as ey’d been commanded. “He really relaxed after uploading, at least. Just a few little spikes in interest when certain things came up.”</p>
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<p>“As hyperfixations go, it is a relatively innocuous one,” she said, yawning. “But I am at least pleased to see that he is both engaging with other things and finding fulfillment in this aspect of his life when he can.”</p>
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<p>“Besides, it’s not like you guys don’t hyperfixate on things.”</p>
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<p>“Yes, yes,” she mumbled sleepily. “But all the same, we have been slowly drifting away from what we used to be over the years, and in the face of all that we have seen, that is not such a bad thing.”</p>
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<hr />
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<p>Not all of these visits went nearly so smoothly, of course.</p>
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<p>In Dreams arrived early on a Saturday on an hour’s notice and bowed formally to Sasha.</p>
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