update from sparkleup
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<h2 id="blind-strife">Blind Strife</h2>
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<p>There is a tension within me. It is not the tension of muscles — though there is often that — but the tension between contrasting ideas. I have been through my dialectical behavioral therapy. I have learned that this is a thing to be understood within one’s core, to be held with care and love. I <em>get</em> that. It is a thing that I have not just intellectualized, but a thing that I have internalized. I do not struggle with the idea of dialectics, of dichotomies.</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>I had read the sign, and had immediately fallen down into the space defined by that dichotomy, the gap between had-to-be and could-not-be. Dichotomy? Dialectic? There was no telling anymore, no matter how many times I’d tried to paste one word or the other onto the two phrases. Were ‘dichotomy’ and ‘dialectic’ a dichotomy or dialectic?\footnote{\cite{plu})</p>
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<p>I had read the sign, and had immediately fallen down into the space defined by that dichotomy, the gap between had-to-be and could-not-be. Dichotomy? Dialectic? There was no telling anymore, no matter how many times I’d tried to paste one word or the other onto the two phrases. Were ‘dichotomy’ and ‘dialectic’ a dichotomy or dialectic?\footnote{\cite{plu}}</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Or perhaps I do.</p>
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<blockquote>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Why?</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>There are twenty-two questions on the previous page. Twenty-five if you count mine — and I suppose that whether or not we are to include those is the crux of the issue. If that is not bemoaning the lack of answers, I do not know what is. It is strange that you would be unsure whether or not you want to know the answer.\footnote{\cite{ally}}</p>
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<p>There are twenty-two questions on the previous page. Twenty-five if you count mine — and I suppose that whether or not we are to include those is the crux of the issue. If that is not bemoaning the lack of answers, I do not know what is. It is strange that you would be unsure whether or not you want to know the answer.\footnote{\cite[32]{ally-making-of}}</p>
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</blockquote>
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</blockquote>
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<p>But there is that one that sticks in the craw: ‘why?’ Why do I worry so much, and what, pray, might I do about it?</p>
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