update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/026.html

@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
 <p>&ldquo;I think we agree on that. How do you mean &lsquo;unfair&rsquo;, though?&rdquo;</p>
 <p>She twisted around until she could poke her nose on em. &ldquo;Because it would be an act that I would take. Even if we all were to agree, it is me that is changing our relationships. I would be the one taking away that uniqueness and turning it into a burden.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>Ioan tugged the skunk up a little further until ey could get eir arms around her. Something about her words didn&rsquo;t sit right with em, and ey needed at least a little bit of time to think it out.</p>
-<p>Perhaps she was still overflowing, in a way. At the tail end of it, sure, but every time in the past, she had waited until she was mostly feeling better before fetching em back from Douglas&rsquo;s, whereas this morning, she seemed to have forced herself out of that state, rightfully or otherwise, to at least not be alone.</p>
+<p>Perhaps she was still overflowing, in a way. At the tail end of it, sure, but every time in the past, she had waited until she was essentially feeling better before fetching em back from Douglas&rsquo;s, whereas this morning, she seemed to have forced herself out of that state, rightfully or otherwise, to at least not be alone.</p>
 <p>There was some slight distortion here, though, a way of thinking that didn&rsquo;t quite mesh with her personality. Ey agreed to an extent, but it was her framing that was bothering em most.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;So,&rdquo; ey began, choosing eir words carefully. &ldquo;I did say that I&rsquo;m really starting to not feel so great about the idea, but I&rsquo;m not totally sure I agree with how much of that you&rsquo;re putting on yourself. You sound preemptively guilty.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>May squirmed out of eir grasp to sit on the beanbag alongside em, elbows on knees and face in paws.</p>
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@
 <p>Scooting to the edge of the beanbag, Ioan stood as well. &ldquo;I know. We have months before we run up against Jonas&rsquo;s deadline, but if he&rsquo;s sending assassins after True Name, it sure does make it feel urgent.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>The skunk padded over to the kitchen, swiping a few of the dishes that Ioan had left prepared into being, lining them up in a row. &ldquo;Yes, and I cannot easily let that go. I want her to be other than she is specifically to not be so under his thumb. I want her to be better than she is to be less of what she has become, and yet even those thoughts feel like distortions. Choose your plate, my dear.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>Ey picked one mostly at random, winding up with a grilled cheese sandwich and some soup. &ldquo;I had been wondering as to your reasons. I felt like the idea just kind of popped into my mind based on what she was talking about at the time, what with Zacharias and all, but it came at such an inopportune time for me to actually ask why. Is it&hellip;I mean, do you feel the need to fix things like we&rsquo;ve been talking about with me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She hesitated, signed, shook her head. &ldquo;I do not know, Ioan.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>She hesitated, sighed, shook her head. &ldquo;I do not know, Ioan.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>Ey nodded.</p>
 <p>May picked up a plate of mashed potatoes and asparagus, shooing em back to the dining room table. &ldquo;I just think that she has become so singular a person that she cannot but be controlled by Jonas. Her role in guiding the System is no less real; she did the work that she does and she did it both well and proudly. But she built herself into a tool without realizing it, and over the centuries, Jonas has been teaching himself to use that to his advantage, to use her as a tool.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>&ldquo;And rounding her out more with merges would help make her more of a generalist?&rdquo;</p>
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@
 <p>While ey didn&rsquo;t mind May&rsquo;s ideas of comfort food, they were not especially well spiced. This was mostly by design, ey suspected, as eating spicy or sour foods when one has been (or still is) crying sounded unpleasant. Still, there was much to be said about the comfort of a good grilled cheese dipped in soup.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;But yes,&rdquo; the skunk continued once she&rsquo;d cleaned her plate. &ldquo;There was some aspect of vengeance to my and End Waking&rsquo;s plan, but now I just want her away from Jonas. I do not know yet whether or not I like her or want her to stay in our lives in any way, shape, or form, but I do know that I want her away from him. I want her to live and to&ndash;&ldquo;</p>
 <p>Both Ioan and May jolted in their seats as a flash of adrenaline ran through them. A view of a forest, a lake shore, pile of wood not yet lit, and, sitting on a log across from that, another furry. His facial structure was very similar to Dear&rsquo;s but where the fennec had wound up with that pristine white fur, he had ruddy orange except for the white on the underside of his chin and a dark apostrophe of fur on either side of his snout. Where Dear had wound up with almost absurdly large ears, his felt far more in proportion, along the lines of May&rsquo;s and True Names, though far pointier.</p>
-<p>One thing Dear and this new fox did share in common was the snappy dress. Where Dear had wound up in a comfortable androgyny, though, the red fox had turned it into a prim masculinity that was, ey had to admit, quite effective. Black trousers, a white shirt and charcoal waistcoat, and a suit jacket. It was topped off with a simple tie and affected cane, currently being twirled lazily between black-furred paws.</p>
+<p>One thing Dear and this new fox did share in common was the snappy dress. Where Dear had wound up in a sharp androgyny, though, the red fox had turned it into a prim masculinity that was, ey had to admit, quite effective. Black trousers, a white shirt and charcoal waistcoat, and a suit jacket. It was topped off with a simple tie and affected cane, currently being twirled lazily between black-furred paws.</p>
 <p>It was just a glimpse, less than a second&rsquo;s worth of sensorium input, but enough for em to make a guess.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;Is that Zacharias? Wait! May! Oh, God damnit.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>The skunk had already stepped away</p>
@@ -125,7 +125,7 @@
 <p>The thoughts wouldn&rsquo;t quite fit together in eir mind. Two puzzle pieces with no matching edges. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m sorry, I&rsquo;m, uh&hellip;&rdquo; Ey cleared eir throat, suddenly parched. &ldquo;<em>He&rsquo;s</em> one of your old relationship forks? With True Name?&rdquo;</p>
 <p>She shrugged again, sniffled again, looked back down to the table.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;It is at least partly my fault,&rdquo; True Name said quietly. &ldquo;One of the earliest individuals I pointed May Then My Name towards was, without either of us realizing, one of Jonas&rsquo;s instances. He looked and spoke nothing like Jonas Prime, but was starting to get loud on the feeds. May Then My Name forked into a human form that we hoped would be appealing and became quite good friends with him, but I lost track of them both for several years. He stopped posting so much on the feeds, so I had little reason to worry about him, I thought.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You must understand, I was a very different person back then,&rdquo; May mumbled. &ldquo;This was systime 5. Back before I was&hellip;me.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;You must understand, I was a very different person back then,&rdquo; May mumbled. &ldquo;This was systime 7 Back before I was&hellip;me.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>Ey frowned, but nodded for them to continue.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;So, a few decades later,&rdquo; True Name said. &ldquo;Secession is in the past, the council is heading towards dissolution, and I am starting to relax. More friends from phys-side uploaded, more furries figured out how to exist within the System as they would like, and I started to meet more people outside work. One of them just happened to be this fantastically well-dressed fox who was just as witty as I felt. We became friends, then we became a bit more.&rdquo; She shrugged. &ldquo;That instance of Jonas had&hellip;well&hellip;&rdquo;</p>
 <p>&ldquo;Twisted. He twisted my fork into something that neither the me of today nor the me back then would have agreed to.&rdquo; May said bitterly and wiped at her face. &ldquo;He turned that version of me into a way of influencing True Name.&rdquo;</p>
@@ -134,7 +134,7 @@
 <p>The skunk twisted her wine glass between her fingers for a few quiet moments. &ldquo;I have always been focused on continuity and stability. I think that Jonas was as well, enough to go along with the launch project, but once it was done and that continuity was assured, we here on Lagrange let them go their own ways &mdash; the Guiding Council on Pollux and the previous status quo on Castor &mdash; while he focused on cementing his power. They were safely away with minimal influence here.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>&ldquo;Is that what this is all about?&rdquo;</p>
 <p>She nodded. &ldquo;We were in a steady state for many years after they explained everything. I was not happy, but I still liked the work that I had chosen and I did not know how to do anything else. It was the new tech from the Artemisians that pushed things over the edge. AVEC &mdash; Audio/Visual Extrasystem Communication &mdash; rather changes things and even though we agreed on what was to be done about it in a general sense, I think he does not want to risk his own specific vision not coming to fruition. He wants greater divergence, while I am more conservative.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>They sat in silence, then, while Ioan tried to digest this. Ey was still furious at Zacharias, but now that fury had gained a layer of what almost felt like despair, that someone such as him might have their roots in eir May.</p>
+<p>They sat in silence, then, while Ioan tried to digest this. Ey was still furious at Zacharias, but now that fury had gained a layer of what almost felt like despair that someone such as him might have their roots in eir May.</p>
 <p>At least it had all gone a long way towards explaining the dynamic on the three Systems. Who knew why the other True Names had decided to treat this one like they had, withholding valuable information, all but cutting her out of their plans. Clearly those few years between launch and Jonas and Zacharias&rsquo;s announcement had included additional shaping, both of her as well as the Systems.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;Fuck.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>May kicked eir shin lightly beneath the table. &ldquo;Language, Mx. Bălan.&rdquo;</p>
@@ -147,7 +147,7 @@
 <p>Still grinning, True Name nodded. &ldquo;That is quite enough of the topic, yes. I am going to go outside for a bit and then I am going to go to bed.&rdquo;</p>
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+                <p>Page generated on 2022-09-13</p>
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writing/post-self/mitzvot/027.html

@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
 <p>True Name had spent most of the rest of the evening outside, dragging one of eir chairs from beneath the balcony to park herself in the yard. Despite the lingering vestiges of snow and the chill of the evening, she spent hours out there, either staring up into the sky or grooming bits of forest litter out of her fur.</p>
 <p>Ey imagined that she must have made it into bed at some point, though she still woke well before them, as when they finally managed to pry themselves out of bed, there were two steaming coffee mugs sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter, one black and one sweet and creamy, and the skunk was once more sitting outside on the chair, tail wrapped around her feet and coffee held against her chest.</p>
 <p>Ioan sent her a gentle sensorium ping, just to let her know that they were awake, then sat at eir desk. Ey had no clue where to even begin, but if nothing else, ey had to have something comforting in front of em, something known. </p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, nothing for it,&rdquo; ey mumbled, swiped a new notebook into being, and began to compile notes of the last few weeks. The work ey&rsquo;d already done on the topic was useful enough, but it was starting to feel like it was not directed enough in the face of all that had happened.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Well, nothing for it,&rdquo; ey mumbled, swiped a new notebook into being, and began to compile notes from the last few weeks. The work ey&rsquo;d already done on the topic was useful enough, but it was starting to feel like it was not directed enough in the face of all that had happened.</p>
 <p>Ey began with a timeline, starting all the way back at the arrival of the Artemisians and that first meeting with True Name. Then followed the list of the times they&rsquo;d met for coffee through the years. Ey dug through eir memories for any that stood out as particularly interesting. These were primarily early on, ey found, when they were still feeling out each others&rsquo; boundaries, though the last few before the assassination attempt held some fascinating insights in the context of all that had happened since, as well.</p>
 <p>There was also information to fill in on the master timeline for the <em>History</em>, as well. Information about Zacharias, about Jonas, about End Waking&rsquo;s divergence from True Name.</p>
 <p>Finally, the last almost three weeks were laid out in much finer detail. The assassination attempt, the clearing of the house, the meeting with End Waking, all the way up through the meeting with Zacharias the night before.</p>
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
 Ey chose the last of the poor skunk&rsquo;s risotto, added a healthy dusting of pepper, and got another cup of coffee to go with it.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;Thank you for lunch,&rdquo; True Name said, once she&rsquo;d eaten most of her pasta. &ldquo;When you have a moment, Ioan, I would like to see about expanding the sim as we discussed.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>&ldquo;Right, yeah. Sorry I got so distracted this morning.&rdquo; Ey browsed the markets for appropriate wide-open spaces ey could tack onto one of the borders of eir sim. Perhaps right beneath the skunk&rsquo;s window would be best. Ey could even extend the balcony and provide her with a set of stairs down into the space. &ldquo;Alright. What sort of environment? There&rsquo;s some pretty good plains and parks, an okay forest, hmm&hellip;this mountain one isn&rsquo;t bad, but the trees are kind of planted in a grid.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She grinned. &ldquo;That sounds cheesy. However, let us go with a plain of some sort. I do not want to go back to a forest unless it is the one I remember, and a park would be too sterile. Is there nothing like Arrowhead Lake?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>She grinned. &ldquo;That sounds cheesy. However, let us go with a plain of some sort. I do not want to go back to a forest unless it is the one I remember, and a park would be too sterile. Is there nothing like Arrowhead Lake? Something with water?&rdquo;</p>
 <p>Ey dug a little further, an act more akin to remembering than any actual physical browsing. It let em finish eir lunch, at least.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;Alright, here&rsquo;s one that&rsquo;s a plain with a river and an oxbow lake. The landscape is just mirrored at the boundaries though, so it looks a little funny beyond the edges.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>The skunk had perked up at the mention of the river and was already nodding. &ldquo;That will do quite nicely, my dear. Are you able to scale it so that it will be a good size, at least?&rdquo;</p>
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@ Ey chose the last of the poor skunk&rsquo;s risotto, added a healthy dusting of
 <p>&ldquo;Sure thing.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>May, who had been quiet up until then, said, &ldquo;Thank you for coming back.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>True Name tilted her head. &ldquo;It was not safe there, May Then My Name. This will be better.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, but thank you all the same.&rdquo; She laughed and waved a hand. &ldquo;I am sorry, disregard me. I am still not yet at baseline, and it has me feeling emotional.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Yes, but thank you all the same.&rdquo; She laughed and waved a hand. &ldquo;I am sorry, disregard me. I am still not yet at baseline, myself, and it has me feeling emotional.&rdquo;</p>
 <p>The other skunk&rsquo;s expression softened and she leaned forward to give one of her paws a squeeze. It looked stiff and awkward, but it was at least an attempt at a gesture that was more in line with May&rsquo;s mode of interacting.</p>
 <p>&ldquo;I understand. I do not think I am there, yet, myself. I will see you at dinner, yes?&rdquo;</p>
 <p>Ioan and May both nodded and made their goodbyes. As a last concession to giving the skunk privacy, ey made a small gate in the fence leading into their yard so that they wouldn&rsquo;t have to go through her room if they needed to go out into her plain for any reason. It meant pushing through lilac bushes, but ey figured it&rsquo;d be rarely used.</p>
@@ -120,7 +120,7 @@ Ey chose the last of the poor skunk&rsquo;s risotto, added a healthy dusting of
 <p>She laughed and nodded to em. &ldquo;Yes, of course. There is much to think about.&rdquo;</p>
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+                <p>Page generated on 2022-09-13</p>
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