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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-07-03 22:45:23 -05:00
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writing/post-self/mitzvot/018.html
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<p>&ldquo;I do not know yet, Ioan. It makes me too full of being, of time to be just one thing. It will likely take me several days to settle into&hellip;something. To settle into myself, whatever that means.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I do not know yet, Ioan. It makes me too full of being, of time to be just one thing. It will likely take me several days to settle into&hellip;something. To settle into myself, whatever that means.&rdquo;</p>
<p>They fell into silence again while Ioan and True Name finished their food and May looked down at her paws or into the fire.</p> <p>They fell into silence again while Ioan and True Name finished their food and May looked down at her paws or into the fire.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Thank you for joining me out here. I am both glad to be outdoors and intensely uncomfortable sitting on a fucking log,&rdquo; she said, smiling tiredly. &ldquo;I do not think that I will stay out here, though. The greater part of me demands a comfortable bed.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;Thank you for joining me out here. I am both glad to be outdoors and intensely uncomfortable sitting on a fucking log,&rdquo; she said, smiling tiredly. &ldquo;I do not think that I will stay out here, though. The greater part of me demands a comfortable bed.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Those fucking cots are the worst,&rdquo; May grumbled, sounding forced in her casualness. &ldquo;Like a hammock, but far worse.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;Those fucking cots are awful,&rdquo; May grumbled, sounding forced in her casualness. &ldquo;Like a hammock, but far worse.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I do not think that even End Waking enjoys them, so it is easy enough for the True Name part of me to win out on that subject.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I do not think that even End Waking enjoys them, so it is easy enough for the True Name part of me to win out on that subject.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;What did he&ndash; what do you remember enjoying?&rdquo; Ioan asked. &ldquo;I want to hear the good things you have, now, too. I feel like we&rsquo;re all tiptoeing around all the bad memories and conflicting feelings. Tell me something good.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;What did he&ndash; what do you remember enjoying?&rdquo; Ioan asked. &ldquo;I want to hear the good things you have, now, too. I feel like we&rsquo;re all tiptoeing around all the bad memories and conflicting feelings. Tell me something good.&rdquo;</p>
<p>True Name raised her eyebrows, then let her gaze drift up to the stars. &ldquo;I remember teaching myself to hunt, promising myself that I would start small with snares and then work up from there, thinking that I would not let myself eat until I could eat food that I had caught myself. I remember getting so hungry and weak by the third day that I pinged Serene to see if she could help. She laughed and ruffled my fur and called me a dumbass, saying that she had not included fauna because I had not requested it, so of course I did not catch anything. She brought me a hamburger and I ate it so fast I got sick.&rdquo;</p> <p>True Name raised her eyebrows, then let her gaze drift up to the stars. &ldquo;I remember teaching myself to hunt, promising myself that I would start small with snares and then work up from there, thinking that I would not let myself eat until I could eat food that I had caught myself. I remember getting so hungry and weak by the third day that I pinged Serene to see if she could help. She laughed and ruffled my fur and called me a dumbass, saying that she had not included fauna because I had not requested it, so of course I did not catch anything. She brought me a hamburger and I ate it so fast I got sick.&rdquo;</p>
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<p>True Name smiled more kindly than she had yet that night. &ldquo;But you still thought of me. &ldquo;I do not want her to die,&rdquo; you said. You said that you do not know why you still care about me, and you said so to your cocladist perhaps not yet knowing that I would have that memory as well. You two are both meddlesome brats, but thank you for thinking of me.&rdquo;</p> <p>True Name smiled more kindly than she had yet that night. &ldquo;But you still thought of me. &ldquo;I do not want her to die,&rdquo; you said. You said that you do not know why you still care about me, and you said so to your cocladist perhaps not yet knowing that I would have that memory as well. You two are both meddlesome brats, but thank you for thinking of me.&rdquo;</p>
<p>May tucked closer against Ioan&rsquo;s side and buried her face in eir shirt to cry, making a rude gesture at her down-tree instance before hugging her arms around eir waist.</p> <p>May tucked closer against Ioan&rsquo;s side and buried her face in eir shirt to cry, making a rude gesture at her down-tree instance before hugging her arms around eir waist.</p>
<p>&ldquo;I think that means &lsquo;no problem&rsquo;,&rdquo; ey said. &ldquo;But I don&rsquo;t speak skunk all that&ndash; ow! She bit me!&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I think that means &lsquo;no problem&rsquo;,&rdquo; ey said. &ldquo;But I don&rsquo;t speak skunk all that&ndash; ow! She bit me!&rdquo;</p>
<p>The other skunk laughed. &ldquo;It is no less than you deserve, I am sure. But come, once you are able to, let us walk to the rock at the end of the lake. I want to see the stars before we head back.&rdquo;</p> <p>True Name laughed. &ldquo;It is no less than you deserve, I am sure. But come, once you are able to, let us walk to the rock at the end of the lake. I want to see the stars before we head back.&rdquo;</p>
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