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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-05-10 17:40:10 -07:00
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writing/post-self/mitzvot/033.html
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<p>True Name managed May&rsquo;s merge much more easily than she had End Waking&rsquo;s, and ey could see now the benefits of that week of negotiation beforehand. Nearly two months later, and she still occasionally mentioned a pressing memory or two from End Waking demanding attention.</p>
<p>It was just another part of the routine. A rocky routine, and an exciting one, but still a routine.</p>
<p>It wasn&rsquo;t all bad, of course. For every talk they had about meeting with Jonas or what Zacharias had become or some boundary being crossed, there were still the pleasant meals, the shared quiet, and, ey had to admit, ey rather liked who True Name had become.</p>
<p>A large part of this, ey&rsquo;d come to realize, came with just how much more settled in herself she was. Even that drive she cherished about herself had been tempered into something smoother, less laser-sharp. She was more well-rounded, more able to relax, more able to work without it occupying the whole of her. </p>
<p>Ey had certainly liked who she was, of course. Three years of coffee dates stood as testament to that, but a large part of this, ey&rsquo;d come to realize, came with just how much more settled in herself she was. Even that drive she cherished about herself had been tempered into something smoother, less laser-sharp. She was more well-rounded, more able to relax, more able to work without it occupying the whole of her. </p>
<p>The weirdest part, though, had to be sleep. They spent two nights staying with True Name while she processed first the memories and then then conflicts before trying to go back to sleeping separately.</p>
<p>She spent the next day distracted and out of sorts, first begging off breakfast to sit outside, then joining them in the common areas before getting anxious and slipping off to go lay down again. That night, she woke them a few hours after they&rsquo;d gone to bed, tearfully asking to join them.</p>
<p>&ldquo;This is so fucking stupid. I feel like a fucking kid,&rdquo; she&rsquo;d said between sniffles. &ldquo;I am sorry.&rdquo;</p>
@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
<p>And ey was genuinely pleased to see her happy, or at least on her way to happiness.</p>
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