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Madison Scott-Clary 2023-05-12 11:30:09 -07:00
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writing/3/unknown-things/iyov/reverse/background.html
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<p>We fell into love, fell out, and then, years later, as he moved to Colorado, some strange triangle &mdash; or perhaps quadrilateral &mdash; formed between us.</p>
<p>He moved to Denver while I was up in Fort Collins, working on my bachelor&rsquo;s at CSU, and I spent the occasional weekend with him, whether that was him driving up to our place or me heading down to visit him and Kinematics. I thought he was dating Kine, he thought I was dating my now husband, JD, and JD thought I was dating him.</p>
<p>It wasn&rsquo;t until he moved out of state &mdash; this time off to Carlsbad, CA to get a degree in gemology &mdash; that we actually sat down to have that conversation. I hadn&rsquo;t started dating JD yet. He and Kine had never dated. The us who we had become fell back into love, found some new way to exist together without driving each other nuts. Not yet, at least.</p>
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<p>&ldquo;Memory is playing tricks on me&rdquo; is a phrase I&rsquo;m never sure how to parse.</p>
<p>Tricks? Is it tricking me? Is it fooling me? Is it hiding a smirk as I dig and dig to try and remember dates?</p>
<p>I don&rsquo;t quite remember when this all went down. I think we had a lot of these conversations back when I was in the house on Maple Street, the one that caught fire in my housemate&rsquo;s room, which means that must have happened before moving out in 2006. I remember living in the apartment on Remington Street and flying out Carlsbad to visit Andrew, to meet his friends Toni and Wish, which means that must have happened sometime before 2009, back before we moved to the house on Andrea Street.</p>
<p>Memory plays tricks on me, and perhaps that&rsquo;s just in us remembering through transpositions, interpositions, interpolations. That&rsquo;s me remembering those times with Kine and then those times we were dating in Colorado before remembering that, between those, he&rsquo;d gone to school out in California.</p>
<p>And perhaps it&rsquo;s just the ways in which <em>this</em> is pushed out to make way for <em>that</em>. What year did I visit Carlsbad? I don&rsquo;t remember. I do, however, remember &mdash; vividly &mdash; Toni and Wish sleeping on the floor. I remember talking about all those people we knew together in #sanefurs and #nonfurs, IRC channels of snarky assholes two steps away from the Burned Furs movement.</p>
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