update from sparkleup
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<p>Ey nodded and tightened eir arm around her, kissing between her ears. “Same, I think. Thanks for reminding me, though. I should probably get up and get that started.</p>
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<p>They both slid out of the bed to complete their morning routines: Ioan to make another pot of coffee and prepare breakfast while May went through her grooming routine, then eating, a shower for em while she worked on her monologue.</p>
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<p>The dinner itself wasn’t onerous, a stew of pork — ey’d been raised on a version with lamb, which May hadn’t liked — tomatoes, and mushrooms in a garlicky, paprika-filled gravy. Still, it benefited from a longer cooking time, so ey began that after eir shower and set it to simmering.</p>
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<p>After that, they set some music to playing — the overlap of what they enjoyed wasn’t large, but piano jazz seemed to work for both of them — and set to work on whatever it was that was occupying their minds.</p>
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<p>Or tried to, at least.</p>
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<p>Eir conversation this morning as well as eir meeting with True Name a few days prior left Ioan in the mind of skunks and the Ode clade, and even though those both featured quite heavily in the stage adaptation of <em>On the Perils of Memory</em>, nothing ey tried seemed quite in the right vein.</p>
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<p>Instead, ey flipped to a blank sheet of paper and began a letter, instead.</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>True Name,</p>
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<p>I hope all is well.</p>
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<p>After our conversation a few days ago, as well as another that I had with May this morning, I got to thinking about a pattern I’ve noticed, and wanted to ask you about it. I hope it’s not too impertinent of me. If it’s too sensitive, I understand.</p>
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<p>I’ve noticed that you and May have a tendency to talk about each other quite a bit. I know that there are a lot of factors that go into this such as my relationships with each of you, your shared history, and even the fact that I have a habit of asking each of you about the other in turn.</p>
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<p>All the same, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the matter. I don’t want to sound meddlesome (indeed, I don’t think I’d even be capable of meddling with either of you), I just want to better understand each of you in turn, given the dynamics between us.</p>
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<p>I know that’s not a huge deal for either of our clades, but all the same, Merry Christmas. Wishing you the best,</p>
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<p>Ioan</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Ey read through the letter top to bottom three times, then, with a brush of the hand and a bit of intent, sent it on its way.</p>
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<p>Doing eir best to forget about it until the other skunk responded, ey puttered around the house, checking on the stew, trying out a new ink in one of eir pens, and rehearsing some lines in a cone of silence.</p>
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<p>A bit more than two hours after ey’d sent the message, a reply spooled itself out of eir desk and into eir field of view.</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p><strong>IOAN BĂLAN INDIVIDUAL-EYES-ONLY MATERIAL</strong></p>
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<p>Mx. Bălan,</p>
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<p>Thank you for your letter. Had we discussed this in person or over sensorium messages, I think that my responses would be quite different, but the intentionality that is required when engaging with writing forced me to think this through more clearly.</p>
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<p>You are correct in assuming that it is you being our shared connection rather than any direct link between the two of us that leads to each of us discussing the other with you frequently. I do not think that this is worth discounting, however, as many know of each other only through one mutual acquaintance and do not talk of each other to that one one person between them. It is still notable that we discuss each other as much as we do.</p>
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<p>I have spent the last hour in discussion with myself while writing this, and would like this reply kept in confidence.</p>
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<p>Years ago, when the Artemisians first arrived, May Then My Name mentioned a letter that I had sent her regarding you. Here is that letter in full:</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>May Then My Name Die With Me,</p>
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<p>I hope that you are doing well. I understand that there remains some concern about the outcome of your previous relationship, and I would like you to know that I am not so far diverged from our common ancestor that I do not share in some of those feelings. I remember how often I would come crying into the Crown, leaning on this shoulder or that as I tried to deal with yet another break up. I know that I have not always been the kindest or most empathetic down-tree instance, for which I truly am sorry. You are, in many ways, a better version of me, and the completeness that you bring to our stanza ensures that, even if I am not a fully realized person, as you have suggested in the past, we - whether that is you and I, our stanza, or the Odists as a whole — still do add up to something that is greater than the sum of its parts. You may not believe me, and for that I do not blame you, but I really do love you in my own way, May Then My Name.</p>
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<p>I do not know if you have been keeping up with many other stanzas after Qoheleth passed, but it appears that Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled has welcomed a new member to its relationship structure, one Codrin Bălan. I am sure that you recognize the clade name from On The Perils of Memory. Codrin’s down-tree instance, Ioan Bălan, was the amanuensis that Dear had chosen during that spate of trouble, and the series of events that followed led to a process of individuation. It is always exciting to see that happen, is it not?</p>
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<p>The reason that I bring this up is that Ioan has picked up as eir next project an investigative piece surrounding the launch project. Given your role as sys-side launch director, I thought that I would put you two in touch. Eir project would benefit greatly from your position as well as your history, both with the project and with our combined history. I have had the chance to meet both Ioan and Codrin in the past, and they are some of the most delightful, insightful people that I have met. Please look them up on clade.id in the perisystem architecture when you get a chance.</p>
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<p>All my best,</p>
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<p>The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream of the Ode clade</p>
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<p>systime 197+3</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>That night, when she brought up this message, she mentioned that she believed me when I said that I love her in my own way.</p>
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<p>I understand the root of her feelings towards me and, as I also mentioned on that night, I do not begrudge her that. I will ever be what I am, and what that is does not mesh well with her view of the world, even as it is integral to my existence.</p>
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<p>Just as she said that she still believes me, it is also true that I still love her in my own way. Were you to ask me at the time, or even just a year ago, I do not think that I would have admitted such, but even as I suspect that she is working with Ms. Genet on her thoughts about me, I have been working with Ms. Genet on my ability to be truly earnest with those I respect, which includes you.</p>
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<p>I do not hold regrets for the path that has led us to this point, as I have accomplished much that I set out to do, and, while the cost has been great when it comes to my interpersonal relationships (and, as you mentioned, my stress levels), it all very much still feels worth it.</p>
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<p>Consciously or not, I make it a point to ask you how she is doing and to engage with her at one degree of remove because this is still a way to maintain that level of connection after so long a time of disconnect.</p>
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<p>Writing this has been both stressful and cathartic, so I appreciate having the chance to do so. While communications with my counterparts on Castor and Pollux have been somewhat scant of late, both of them have mentioned that they are striving to find situations in which they can be vulnerable and earnest. As I am sure you understand, this is still quite difficult for us.</p>
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<p>Let us meet up on Secession day for our next coffee date. Is 10:00 amenable?</p>
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<p>I wish you and her both a delightful holiday. If you are comfortable bringing up the topic of me with her today and would like to get a laugh out of her, please say simply, “Jingle Bells stage blocking.”</p>
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<p>Sincerely,</p>
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<p>The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream of the Ode clade</p>
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<p>systime </p>
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</blockquote>
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-04-04</p>
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