update from sparkleup
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Madison Scott-Clary
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<p>“Or susceptible to,” he said.</p>
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<p>“Or susceptible to,” he said.</p>
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<p>He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He felt in a precarious position, surrounded as he was by three politicians. Calling them out on their machinations was a dangerous move.</p>
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<p>He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He felt in a precarious position, surrounded as he was by three politicians. Calling them out on their machinations was a dangerous move.</p>
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<p>Answers Will Not Help giggled. Even True Name and Jonas were grinning. “You continue to amaze and delight, my dear,” she said. “But yes, it does make them susceptible to our wicked ways.”</p>
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<p>Answers Will Not Help giggled. Even True Name and Jonas were grinning. “You continue to amaze and delight, my dear,” she said. “But yes, it does make them susceptible to our wicked ways.”</p>
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<p>He smiled cautiously. “Well, if you say so.”</p>
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<p>“Come on, let’s head back,” Jonas said. “We’ll reset the sim, grab some dinner, and then we can go back to planning.</p>
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<p>It took another forty seconds to transit the DMZ barrier going the opposite direction, and this time he could feel the slight resistance as he transited, as though some process were investigating him from head to foot, outside in, to ensure that he was who he said he was.</p>
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<p>Throughout dinner, he remained quiet, and no matter how hard he tried, he was not able to focus on the food. It was good, of course, as much of the food had been during his stay, but some part of his mind remained elsewhere. It remained back in the sim, back focused on the conversation that he’d had with the politicians of the team.</p>
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<p>Since he’d arrived — even before then, even before the message from Artemis — he had felt in over his head. There was something about these people, something about the world that they’d set up that showed how they simply worked on some higher level. Their minds were so fundamentally different that, no matter how much they tried to explain the political ramifications, no matter how much they showed him their work in shaping the response to the news, he just couldn’t take it all in.</p>
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<p>It had seemed that True Name and Answers Will Not Help had loosened their control over him the longer he stayed with them. They paid less attention to him. They spoke more in commands than guiding questions. They smiled less and focused harder on the tasks at hand.</p>
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<p>He felt as though he had been adopted as a tool and then simply set in his drawer until it was time for him to be used.</p>
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<p>How much input would he even have in these meetings? Was he to be, as Codrin had said, an amanuensis? Was his job simply to be there, observe, and pick up on the science aspect? Would he be allowed to take part in the conversations? Would he get to know the Artemisians?</p>
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<p>There were far more questions than there were answers and, apropos to the situation, none of the answers were helping, so the cynical part of him kept thinking <em>why bother asking?</em></p>
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<p>It was almost too much, sitting there at dinner, trying to chat amiably, trying to enjoy the food, while all these questions and so many more circled around inside his head, finding some release, but there was no way that he could hope to ask anyone at the table that, none of the True Names, none of the Answers Will Not Help, and certainly none of the Jonases. Perhaps he could ask Sovanna or Dr. Verda — now all but obsoleted — but they were busy enough with their own worries that didn’t surround acting as emissary to an alien race to bother with the social engineering going on around them.</p>
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<p>After dinner, he begged an hour of rest alone in his quarters and paced, composing his message in his head.</p>
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<p>“#Tasker,” he said at last, beginning the sensorium message. “Can you talk to Codrin some about just what it is to be an amanuensis? I know ey talked to you about that and all, but I’m really not sure what it is that I should be doing, or what I even can do. I know I’m supposed to listen and record along with em, and I know I’m supposed to ask all the fancy science questions, but I’m starting to feel like that’d be better served by writing down a list of questions for one of the Odists to ask.</p>
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<p>“Hell, I’m starting to feel like they wish that’s all I’d do. They’re nice enough, and they seem confident in their decision to use me as the science representative, so it’s not like I’m off the team, I just don’t know that I’ll have any say in any of this, and I guess I’m just feeling lost.</p>
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<p>“I’m sending this to you rather than em so that you’re up to date, but also I just feel like you ought to know some of my thoughts since you’re…well, you’re me. If I were any more confident in my ability to fork and merge, I’d just do that, but that also feels way outside my realm of expertise.</p>
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<p>“Get back to me if you can, but if not, at least let Codrin know so that when ey arrives tomorrow for orientation, he’s got this knowledge, too.</p>
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<p>“Anyway, uh…thanks, me. I hope you’re sleeping better than I am.”</p>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-10-30</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-10-30</p>
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