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<title>Zk | 030</title>
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<h1>Zk | 030</h1>
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<p>Sleep proved to be something of a problem. </p>
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<p>While True Name had, at one point, sat up long enough to drink half a glass of water, she had yet to leave the bed, and with her still down for the count, the version of May who had remained was unwilling to leave her side, even for dinner, which she declined.</p>
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<p>“You don’t think sleeping with her will be enough to keep you comfortable through the night?”</p>
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<p>She rolled her eyes and poked em in the stomach with a dull claw. “It is not just that I do not want to sleep alone, my dear. I want to sleep with you.”</p>
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<p>Ioan blinked, laughed, and rubbed at the back of eir neck. “Right, sorry, I guess I’ve been stuck on logistics mode for a bit.”</p>
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<p>“Is this not emotional?”</p>
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<p>“It is! I’m just…overwhelmed or something?”</p>
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<p>May nodded and looped her arms up around eir shoulders. “That much I understand, my dear.”</p>
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<p>“Would it make sense if I added a cot or something in there? I could at least sleep nearby.”</p>
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<p>She perked up and tilted her head. “One moment. Or…well, come with me.”</p>
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<p>May led em to True Name’s room where the skunk was slouched over on the bed, head resting in the other instance of May’s lap, the two of them tucked into the nest of pillows in the corner.</p>
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<p>“Let me reduce…” The May who had stayed with Ioan quit, leaving the other instance of her to quickly incorporate the merge and continue. “…conflicts. True Name, are you able to speak?”</p>
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<p>The answer was a long time coming. “Some,” she croaked.</p>
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<p>May nodded. “I am not going to leave, but it is getting close to bedtime. I am also not comfortable not being near Ioan. May ey sleep in here with us?”</p>
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<p>True Name slowly rolled her head to the side enough to squint at Ioan through one eye. Her cheek-fur was a mess of tear tracks. “Ioan?”</p>
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<p>“I can make a cot by the bed,” ey said, then laughed. “Or just another, smaller bed, I guess. No need to make one of those uncomfortable things.”</p>
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<p>She slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position, though she remained half-slouched against May. “Can you…make the bed bigger?”</p>
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<p>“Well, I mean…” ey shrugged helplessly, looking to May.</p>
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<p>The skunk tilted her head back against the wall, looking up to the ceiling thoughtfully. “I do not see why not, I suppose,” she said, sounding distant.</p>
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<p>“Worried?” True Name mumbled.</p>
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<p>Ioan shifted eir weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “I just, uh,” ey stammered. “I don’t want to make things weird. I can’t even imagine all you’re going through.”</p>
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<p>True Name laughed hoarsely. “Do not put that on me, Ioan. You can be…uncomfortable.” She sighed, sat up further, and rubbed at her face. “Preference…make bed larger and join…second choice, other bed.”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded. “I can make the bed bigger. Should I make a second set of covers?”</p>
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<p>She swallowed several times in a row, a sign of tears to come ey well knew from May. “Can you…can you two…”</p>
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<p>May got her arms around the skunk and murmured, “We will work it out.”</p>
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<p>Ioan hesitated a moment longer before letting the bed expand another few feet in width with a wave of intent. A second set of covers and pillows spooled themselves out onto it as well, just in case.</p>
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<p>Ey paced back and forth a few times, shook eir head, then waved a hand again to bring into being a set of pajamas on the bed. Sleeping in eir usual dress of a pair of boxers didn’t seem quite appropriate at the moment.</p>
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<p>May blinked down at the clothes, giggled quietly, and shook her head. <em>“You are such a nerd,”</em> she subvocalized through a sensorium message so as not to disturb True Name. <em>“It is a good idea, but you are a total nerd.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey shrugged helplessly, gathered up the loose lounge pants and shirt to go change.</p>
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<p><em>“I have no clue how tired I even am,”</em> ey subvocalized, once ey returned. <em>“Or if I’ll even be able to sleep here.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“If you need to sneak off to sleep in a real bed, you can, my dear.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“I’m</em> also <em>unwilling to sleep without you, so…”</em></p>
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<p>Her expression softened. She tilted her muzzle down to whisper something to True Name, and when she received a nod in response, she patted the bed to invite em up. <em>“Just asked if you could join us,”</em> May explained.</p>
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<p>Ey nodded and climbed onto the (now much larger) bed until ey could settle down beside May in the nook of pillows. Getting eir arm around her shoulders, ey let her rest her head on eir shoulder. It was a little awkward, with True Name still slouched against her side, but it worked well enough.</p>
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<p><em>“I’m surprised she’s so…physical,”</em> ey sent.</p>
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<p><em>“She was not, at first, but I think she is working her way from past to present, as she slowly got closer and closer.”</em></p>
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<p>It made sense, at least. Whenever ey’d dealt with a longer merge — eir longest had been around thirteen months, a particularly boring project — it always felt like the memories were interleaving themselves in with the ones ey already had, histories slowly zippering themselves into consensus. Conflicts, then, were the snags one encountered along the way, and one would have to dump energy into either reconciling or discarding memories. It was a very consuming task, and that True Name had been able to speak at all was far more than ey could have done.</p>
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<p><em>“Think it’s overriding the bits of her and End Waking that aren’t keen on touch?”</em> ey asked.</p>
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<p><em>“Must be.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“How are you doing with it?”</em></p>
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<p>She sighed, at which True Name squinted up to her, then over to Ioan, offering a faint smile, before settling back into processing.</p>
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<p><em>“I do not know, my dear. It has activated all of my care instincts, so I am happy to make her comfortable in all of the ways I know how. It helps, then, that those are all of the ways she knows now, too, or at least is learning. If I focus on that, I feel very positive. It is only when I get distracted and ruminating that I begin to spiral. It is more comfortable for me to focus on caring for someone now than it is to think about boundaries or Zacharias or Jonas.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey kissed between May’s ears, murmuring, “You’re a good person, May.”</p>
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<p>The skunk lifted her snout to tuck it up under eir chin.</p>
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<p>“You two…are disgusting,” True Name mumbled. “Keep it up.”</p>
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<p>May laughed and tightened her grip around True Name briefly. “Hush, you. We will work on going to bed soon. I hope that you can get some sleep.”</p>
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<p>She shrugged noncommittally.</p>
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<p>“Well, either way, I will let you keep the corner nest and be right here. Ioan can take the outside.”</p>
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<p>“Keeping em…away?”</p>
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<p>May frowned. “I am keeping myself close to you.”</p>
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<p>“I kid,” True Name said, slowly pushing herself up once more and frowning at just how far away the glass of water was, now. Ioan leaned forward to grab it for her. She drank carefully. “But if it…keeps awkwardness down…that is good, too.”</p>
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<p>Ioan accepted the glass from True Name once she finished, re-filling it from the pitcher they’d brought in and setting it on the windowsill near the nook so that she could get to it herself. “We can talk about that later. For now, I think it’ll work alright.”</p>
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<p>True Name nodded and settled down into her nest of pillows.</p>
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<p>May and Ioan stayed up a little longer, chatting through sensorium messages despite their proximity. Cognizant of her mention that she felt better when not thinking about boundaries, ey kept the topics light, asking about favorite things and letting her rant about plays from her past that she’d hated.</p>
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<p>Tiredness eventually won them over, though, and, despite the room being mirrored from what ey was used to, the bed was the same, comfortable one ey’d had for the last century, the house held the same sense of home as ever. May curled against eir front as she always did, and while it was strange seeing True Name in bed with them, it was still where ey belonged.</p>
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<p>The last thing ey remembered before falling asleep was watching the way True Name had curled to face May, the two skunks holding each others’ paws. Watching them and thinking to emself, <em>This isn’t how I pictured things winding up if I was to somehow fix them, but it’s not so bad.</em></p>
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<p>Waking brought confusion. Something about the inversion from their normal bed, of having fallen asleep on eir other side, induced a subtle sense of vertigo at first. The pajamas were also bunched up around em strangely, adding in a subtle sense of constriction. As sleep slowly seeped away, though, the feeling lessened and ey was able to relax in the warmth beneath the covers.</p>
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<p>Warmer than expected, perhaps. May was still in eir arms, as expected, but her arms were pressed against her front by a second warm bulk.</p>
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<p>Ey tried to puzzle it out through the fog of doziness that still surrounded him. Eventually, ey gave up and levered his eyes open, blinking a few times to bring the world into focus.</p>
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<p>At some point in the night, True Name had apparently rolled over and wound up curled against May just as she was curled against em, trapping eir arms between the two skunks.</p>
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<p>Ey lay there for a while, trying to piece together eir feelings on the situation. As far as ey could remember, in eir still sleep-muddled state, ey’d never been this close to True Name before. There had been the occasional casual touch, a few touches out of necessity — grabbing eir hand to get away from Guōweī stood out in eir mind — but even going back to when ey’d first met her, there’d been very little touch. It made sense, given her personality, and yet here she was, all cuddled up with the two of them.</p>
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<p>Ah well, ey was probably worrying too much about this, just laying there and ruminating.</p>
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<p><em>“You almost certainly are, Mx. Bălan,”</em> came the barest whisper of a sensorium message. <em>“Especially if you are mumbling.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey jolted at the words impinging on eir senses, getting a sleepy grumble out of May.</p>
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<p><em>“Sorry,”</em> ey replied to True Name.</p>
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<p>There was note of amusement, of almost-laughter, as she sent, <em>“It is okay, my dear. What are you worried about? You only mumbled the last bit.”</em></p>
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<p>Eir mind raced as ey tried to figure out how best to explain what ey’d been cycling over.</p>
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<p><em>“Would you like me to move? I wound up like this sometime in the night and have been staying still to keep from waking May Then My Name.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“No…”</em> ey replied hesitantly. <em>“But you guessed right. I hope this isn’t weird or anything. If you need to–“</em></p>
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<p><em>“Ioan, I asked after your preferences,”</em> she chided. <em>“I am okay, I promise.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey hid the heat rising to eir cheeks by burying eir face into some of May’s fur. <em>“Right, sorry. You’re okay there. I’m just being awkward.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey felt True Name relax slightly against eir forearms. <em>“We both are. It is comfortable and awkward in equal measure. One third of me is very happy to be held, one third would only like to be held sometimes, and one third is not used to this at all.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“Have you finished merging, then?”</em></p>
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<p>There was a quiet rustle of fur against pillow as the skunk shook her head subtly. <!--better word--> <em>“I have the memories in place, but there are many conflicts to go. It is easier to put those on hold, at least, so that I can make fun of you for mumbling for a little bit.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey smirked. <em>“Har har. All the same, I’m glad you made it through to this far, at least.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“Thank you, my dear.”</em> There was a pause, and then, <em>“Actually, unrelated to comfort or awkwardness, I am going to get up to make coffee, at least. I did not sleep, and if I do not have coffee soon, I shall surely die.”</em></p>
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<p>May grumbled again when True Name rolled away from her, gathering the remainder of the covers and a stray pillow up to replace the space that had been left by her cocladist’s absence. Ey couldn’t tell if the skunk was actually awake or not, but she settled down once more, if nothing else.</p>
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<p>True Name sat up and scrubbed at her face with her paws before grinning down to em. <em>“My assessment remains. You two are so cute that it is disgusting.”</em></p>
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<p>Stifling a laugh, ey rolled eir eyes. <em>“Blame May.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“Way ahead of you, my dear,”</em> she sent as she crawled out of bed. <em>“I will make coffee and then I will need some alone time on the plain. I will ensure there is enough coffee for all.”</em></p>
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<p>((May wakes up, they start talking about boundaries, TN returns and mentions that her fork quit, that she’s feeling positive moving forward, more boundaries))</p>
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</article>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-05-08</p>
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@ -114,14 +114,14 @@
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</ul>
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</li>
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<li class="done1"> Reconciliation — After the merge and TN’s collapse, she has to process two centuries of memories while Ioan and May have to process the results of the merge<ul>
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<li class="done1"> CHAPTER Ioan 2350<ul>
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<li class="done2"> CHAPTER Ioan 2350<ul>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="029.html">Plan and risk</a> — they plan together on how to make this a more deliberate thing than the merger with EW, setting up a nest in which she can process comfortably, Ioan lays in supplies, TN negotiates boundaries and how they’ll shift, May merges down</li>
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<li class="done0"> <a href="030.html">Grand gesture</a> — TN processes, cries a lot, they talk about what this means (acknowledging that talking boundaries is a new thing for TN) It goes well enough that her fork quits</li>
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<li class="done1"> <a href="030.html">Grand gesture</a> — TN processes, cries a lot, they talk about what this means (acknowledging that talking boundaries is a new thing for TN) It goes well enough that her fork quits</li>
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</ul>
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</li>
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<li class="done0"> CHAPTER Debarre 2350<ul>
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<li class="done0"> <a href=".html">Result for EW</a> — EW and Debarre talk about how they both feel about TN’s mergers and how this could go either way for EW: he feels better about TN, but now he’s listless and unsure of how he feels about the clade.</li>
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<li class="done0"> <a href=".html">Result for Jonas</a> — They talk about how this is working for Jonas, how it’s dangerous because it gives Jonas & Co an opening through May’s known weaknesses (less his because they haven’t studied him nearly so much)</li>
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<li class="done0"> <a href=".html">Result for EW</a> — EW and Debarre talk about how they both feel about TN’s mergers and how this could go either way for EW: he feels better about TN, but now he’s listless and unsure of how he feels about the clade given how much of his identity was bound up in rejecting TN.</li>
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<li class="done0"> <a href=".html">Result for Jonas</a> — They talk about how this is working for Jonas, how it’s dangerous because it gives Jonas & Co an opening through May’s known weaknesses (less his because they haven’t studied him nearly so much), maybe some more about reactive elements?</li>
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</ul>
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</li>
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<li class="done1"> CHAPTER Ioan 2350<ul>
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@ -310,7 +310,7 @@
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-05-07</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-05-08</p>
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