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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2023-09-15 10:05:10 -07:00
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writing/3/terrifying/blind-strife.html
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<p>The way I feel?</p>
<p>The way she feels when she&rsquo;s fronting?\footnote{\cite{ally-plurality}}</p>
</blockquote>
<p>It sent me into my five thousand word tailspin where I asked dozens and dozens of questions of my ally, of myself, as I tried to nail down the panic that came with being confronted by this idea of plurality.
((Struggling against expectations versus desires esp re: feeling like I deserve to take up space))</p>
<p>It sent me into my five thousand word tailspin where I asked dozens and dozens of questions of my ally, of myself, as I tried to nail down the panic that came with being confronted by this idea of plurality. There was this anxiety of definition — was this me? Was this who I was? — right alongside the anxiety of identification: if this is me, what does that mean for my life?</p>
<p>I never did figure that out in that section of <em>ally</em>. I very carefully, very <em>intentionally</em> did not. &ldquo;It is all well and good that this is a question worth considering, and I&rsquo;m happy enough to acknowledge it here like this, in a roundabout way. I think I need to, to some extent. I need to have it in words between us. But any further investigations would, I think, do a disservice to the project at hand and the roles we play, willing or not, in the endeavor,&rdquo; I wrote. &ldquo;Hell, as it is, I&rsquo;m torn as to whether or not I should have brought it up in the first place.&rdquo;</p>
<p>So kind to my reader. So kind to my friends.</p>
<p>((Supporting identities))</p>
<p>((The trans urge to tamp down one&rsquo;s own identity))</p>
<p>((Struggling against expectations versus desires esp re: feeling like I deserve to take up space))</p>
</article>
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<p>Page generated on 2023-09-15</p>