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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-10-25 23:16:39 -07:00
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writing/post-self/selected-letters/012.html
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<p>You and perhaps Codrin#Pollux are uniquely positioned to answer this litany of questions. Do you have any insight into what it is that has led us to this state?</p>
<p>I&rsquo;ll be honest that I&rsquo;m not sure what I&rsquo;ll get out of your answer. I don&rsquo;t know if it&rsquo;ll feel good to read,<sup id="fnref:tries"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:tries">1</a></sup> but I guess I&rsquo;m hoping that it&rsquo;ll offer some sense of closure. If I&ndash; no, <em>when</em> I feel comfortable getting in touch with Codrin again, I will likely ask em, too, as perhaps █████ will have some insight. I will, just&hellip;not yet.</p>
<p>There is one more thing that I&rsquo;m a little hesitant to ask about, because I&rsquo;m not quite sure what direction your thoughts are heading in. The chance that me bringing this up is only going to hurt you is real, given the tenor of your letters, and for that I apologize.</p>
<p>I&rsquo;ve noticed that you&rsquo;ve been talking about Rareș quite a bit more over the last year. What was it that brought him to mind?</p>
<p>I&rsquo;ve noticed that you&rsquo;ve been talking about Rareș quite a bit more over the last year. I touched on it briefly last letter, but I want to approach it more intentionally: what was it that brought him to mind?</p>
<p>I still think about him, you know. I think about how when he got frustrated, he&rsquo;d smile, but with his brows knit. It was such a uniquely <em>him</em> expression. I think about our parents&rsquo; funeral and how, even at 10, he seemed to understand on a deep level &mdash; deeper than us &mdash; the finality of death. I think about the confusion and hurt on his face when we announced we were going to upload. It&rsquo;s not that he didn&rsquo;t love aunt Rahela, or that she didn&rsquo;t love us, but we were so much more a parent to him than she ever was.</p>
<p>I still think about him and hope that we did the right thing. I think we did. I think <em>you</em> did. </p>
<p>Have you found him? Have you looked? You do not need to. You have my permission not to if that&rsquo;s not what you need.</p>