update from sparkleup
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<h2 id="sorina-balan-ioan-balan">Sorina Bălan — Ioan Bălan</h2>
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<blockquote>
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<p>systime 227 (2351)<br />
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(transmission delay)<br />
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(transmission delay)</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p><a href="Ioan.html">Ioan</a> (and, I guess, Aurel),</p>
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<p>Ioan (and, I guess, Aurel),</p>
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<p>I sent my last letter before receiving Aurel’s. I will not apologize for apparently predicting that I would receive such when I spoke of seeking out someone to fill that role in my life. My congratulations to them, I suppose. To you? Aurel doesn’t seem so long-lived as either Codrin or I.</p>
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<p>Is that what one does in this situation? Congratulate? Either way, I wish them the best.</p>
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<p>It’s also spurred a line of thinking within me that I’m still trying to tease apart, and I’m hoping that writing you will help in that. Doubtless you’ll have some insights, sure, but also just the act of writing — to someone I trust, no less — should be helpful on its own.</p>
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<p>Let me begin by saying that I appreciate the way that the clade has provided me options for opting into dealing with topics regarding the Odists. It was initially quite helpful, but as I work through my thoughts on the matter, intentionally engaging with them as a topic has proven quite helpful. So long as that content is clearly delineated, I see no reason to hide it behind eyes-only segments. If I’m up for reading it, I’ll read it. If not, I won’t. Thank you for all of your thoughtfulness over the last few years.</p>
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<p>Let me begin by saying that I appreciate the way that the clade has provided me options for opting into dealing with topics regarding the Odists. It was initially quite helpful, but as I work through my thoughts on the matter, intentionally engaging with them as a topic has become my new goal. So long as that content is clearly delineated, I see no reason to hide it behind eyes-only segments. If I’m up for reading it, I’ll read it. If not, I won’t. Thank you for all of your thoughtfulness over the last few years.</p>
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<p>So, why the Odists? What is it about them that leads to us working so well together? We’re hardly the same. We’re hardly an exact match. We are two puzzle pieces in the broader whole of the world. Not <em>matching</em> puzzle pieces, but close. We don’t fit together perfectly.<sup id="fnref:imperfect"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:imperfect">1</a></sup></p>
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<p>And perhaps that’s it. Perhaps it’s the way we both accept that, internalize it, make it part of who we are when taken in combination. I loved — no, still love — Dear. It was so weird, and it drove me fucking nuts at times. It could be too much, too intense. Sometimes, it was too wrapped up in its art to thoughtfully engage with the world around it. It was prone to tantrums and sulking.</p>
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<p>But me? I was dense. Not just when I was new to the concept of relationships (though certainly more so then!), but throughout our time together, I was constantly misreading cues, misunderstanding the depths of emotions, falling apart when I hadn’t the emotional literacy to deal with what was happening around me. </p>
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<p>Hearing you talk about May Then My Name has tallied quite well with this, too. She’s taught you much the same, and you’ve added to each other’s lives without necessarily being a perfect fit. She’s sometimes too much: you’ve complained often enough about her being too emotionally intense or requiring a bit more engagement than you’re always prepared to give, but you still find ways to work with or around that just as I did with Dear.</p>
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<p>Twice is a curiosity, three times is a pattern, as we saw with Codrin#Pollux and Serene. And now four (five?) times with Sasha?</p>
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<p>Yes, there’s a third of Sasha who is already someone you love, but whether or not you realized that you were doing so, you also spoke quite fondly of True Name over the last year that she was solely herself. You had your hesitancies, of course. You equivocated about whether or not you were friends, on what your role actually was in interacting with her, sitting between her and your partner. We’ve all expressed our frustration (or even anger) with her over her role in both our lives and the System as a whole, you included.</p>
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<p>But as you mentioned in letters during that year, you were also called out on this by both Sarah and May Then My Name more than once. Hell, <em>that</em> you were equivocating speaks to the fact that you were even thinking about it in the first place. It wasn’t some foregone conclusion that you were just, as you put it once, “cordial and intentional acquaintances”. You recognized that friction.</p>
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<p>But as you mentioned in letters during that year, you were also called out on this by both Sarah and May Then My Name more than once. Hell, <em>that</em> you were equivocating speaks to the fact that you were even thinking about it in the first place. It wasn’t some foregone conclusion that you were just, as you put it once, “cordial and intentional acquaintances”. You recognized that friction: it was an artifact of inexact language rather than emotions.</p>
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<p>Don’t even get me started about how you talked about E.W.! Yes, I wish I’d had the chance to meet him, too, but for a while, nearly every letter you sent included some story followed by that exact sentiment.</p>
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<p>Congratulations are due to Aurel, yes, but I am in absolutely no way surprised.</p>
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<p>So what is it about them? Why the Odists? How come we keep winding up in relationships with them? Is it some core aspect to them? Would we have gotten on so well with Michelle, had she been singular enough and in our lives at the right moment? Or is it just those with the right “perpetual hyperfixation”, as you so eloquently put it, who fall into our lives?</p>
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</div>
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-11-01</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-11-18</p>
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</footer>
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</main>
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<script type="text/javascript">
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<article class="content">
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<h2 id="codrin-balancastor-sorina-balan-fwd-ioan-balan">Codrin Bălan#Castor — Sorina Bălan — Fwd: Ioan Bălan</h2>
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<blockquote>
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<p>systime 228 (2352)<br />
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<p>systime 227 (2351)<br />
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(transmission delay)</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Ioan,</p>
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<p>Taking your advice along with that of True Name, of all people,<sup id="fnref:tnhelps"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:tnhelps">1</a></sup> I finally wrote to Sorina in a very open and, I hope, welcoming way. I want to find out where we stand, of course, but I also don’t want to push <em>that</em> much of a discussion on her. Just…say hi and ensure that the line of communication remains open. I’ve attached what I wrote just so you’re up to date as well.</p>
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<p>I ran the letter by Dear, █████, Sarah, and True Name, and all of them kept telling me it was far too wordy. They’re probably right, too,<sup id="fnref:tnright"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:tnright">2</a></sup> as frustrating as it was to pare it down. I know we’re a wordy bunch, but it was edging up past 2000 word, when all it needed to was act as an invitation to open discussions.</p>
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<p>I ran the letter by Dear, █████, Sarah, and True Name, and all of them kept telling me it was far too wordy. They’re probably right, too,<sup id="fnref:tnright"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:tnright">2</a></sup> as frustrating as it was to pare it down. I know we’re a wordy bunch, but it was edging up past 2000 words, when all it needed to was act as an invitation to open discussions.</p>
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<p>All my best,</p>
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<p>Codrin#Castor</p>
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<hr />
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<blockquote>
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<p>Sorina,</p>
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<p>I wanted to reach out with my greetings and gratitude for your patience with me as I get used to life as it has become. Much has happened in the last five years.</p>
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<p>Despite the momentous nature of an extraterrestrial encounter, life continues on Castor much as it has for the previous two and half decades, as it did on Lagrange before. We sleep, wake, work, eat, talk, walk, all as we always have. I hope that life for you has continued in pleasant and productive ways and that you’re still able to do all that makes it fulfilling. </p>
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<p>I understand that the nature of your departure has been a point of stress for the both of us. I know that some of that stress on my end has bled over onto you, and for that I apologize. If you’re comfortable doing so, I would love to hear from you.</p>
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<p>Best,</p>
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<p>Codrin Bălan#Castor</p>
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</blockquote>
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<div class="footnote">
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<hr />
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<ol>
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</div>
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-11-01</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-11-18</p>
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</footer>
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</main>
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<article class="content">
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<h2 id="aurel-balan-the-balan-clade">Aurel Bălan — The Bălan clade</h2>
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<blockquote>
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<p>systime 232 (2356)</p>
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<p>systime 232 (2356)<br />
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(transmission delays)</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>All,</p>
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<p>You’ll have to forgive a rather rambly sort of letter, as it’s currently being co-written by two Bălans and two skunks. Aurel was just forked,<sup id="fnref:justforked"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:justforked">1</a></sup> and the four of us are sitting out in Douglas’s field along with him, E.W., Debarre, and a few other friends after having a small potluck of sorts. There wasn’t any real reason for the get-together other than it’s snowy at our sim, the skunks were whining, and it’s always nice here. What started as a plan for Ioan, May, Sasha, and Douglas to have a picnic blossomed on a whim to something of a party.</p>
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